Scared of Getting Haircut

Updated on December 16, 2009
L.W. asks from Saint Paul, MN
20 answers

My son is almost 2, and VERY scared of having his haircut. The last haircut we got him was when he was 18 months, we went to Kids Hair and he cried and screamed the whole time. Even with all the distractions they have there(TV, sucker, etc.) Since then we have tried to cut little bits at a time at home, but he gets really upset. Lots of big tears:( I have asked lots of people for advice, and I am at a loss on how to help him not be so frightened. I'm pretty sure he thinks we are cutting off part of his body. He doesn't realize this hair does not have feeling. Anyone have a similar experience with their child? Please help my little boy has a mullet:)

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So What Happened?

This past week Grandma offered to try to take him to get his hair "trimmed" for us. We thought maybe having someone else try he would cooperate more. They didn't even get one bit of hair off. We have decided to wait a little while until he can understand more what is going on. Luckily his mullet is pretty cute. We are also going to watch Daddy get his haircut tonight for the 2nd time, and will continue to do that so he gets more comfortable with the idea of having his hair trimmed. Thanks for all the good ideas!

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K.L.

answers from Madison on

I cut my son's hair at home. I show him a video while we cut his hair - normally no tv/videos, so this is s big treat. I usually use the computer for this as I can shut it if he fusses. Haircuts are much easier now.

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K.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think that little tiny kids (your son) are the only people in the world who can successfully pull off a mullet!!
:) :)
Don't worry about it. It's just hair. When he is not afraid, cut it.

My friends cut their sons hair in the bathtub, while he's taking a bath. It's the only place where he is engaged enough for them to trim!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I haven't read your other responses, so someone may have already said this. My husband took him with when he got a haircut, and then our son was very excited to sit in the same chair as Daddy. It really worked out well! He was a little scared of the shaver at first, but he also saw Daddy doing the same thing. Good luck!

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K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

He should go with Daddy next time HE has a haircut. No pressure, but you your son will get to see that Daddy gets his haircut and nothing bad happens, and it doesn't hurt at all.

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K.H.

answers from Sioux City on

L.,
My 2 year old is the same way. I find that if we go right away in the morning, which is his best time of the day and mine as well with patience, it does go better. The stylist we go to only does kids cuts and speed is everything. I put the cape on and he sits on my lap. We also wear old clothes so we can just change when we get home because it always ends in a big, fat mess. I found the last few times that letting him pick his outfit to wear (he wore snow boots and dino pj's last time), talking about it and then filling his hands with things like a squirt bottle and comb work wonders. I don't worry about discipline or what others think, it's all about getting through it. If you have an iPod, that works wonders. I downloaded a few of his favorite shows (Dora, Monkey Time, Diego) and he sat and watched those and then we would "blow" the stray hairs off the characters. They say it gets better, I am have yet to find out!! Also the stylist recommends making a habit of it: going once a month to the same place, same person so they become more comfortable with it. I do think that is paying off, we have gone to Heather 3 times and each time is a huge improvement. My husband and I also make a big deal for a few days about how handsome he looks and we make sure to tell everyone so they can comment on it to. And remember, kids can smell fear so if you are already apprehensive about it, it make make him also. Good luck!!

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T.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son is 2 also and does surprising well with hair cuts. I dont know what you have all tried but what works for us is this: He will not sit by himself in the chair so he sits on my lap and we have a book he loves with to read and we stop and get like french fries from mcdonalds or a shake or something that he really likes but doesnt get very often at all. That way he gets a fun treat to have to help keep his mind off things and with sitting on my lap he does very well. Good luck!

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J.L.

answers from Davenport on

Does he have a playmate/cousin or someone he looks up to? My 2 yr old willingly went into the chair after our 4 yr old started being silly and laughing, saying it tickles, it tickles! Our little guy said, "do me! Do me!" and laughed most of the way through it. Otherwise, try to get it little by little while he's sleeping?

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son is the same way! He screams and cries, and it's awful. One thing we are thinking about trying is have my husband get his haircut and let my son watch so he can see it's not so bad. That worked when I got my flu shot before the kids got theirs this year, so we thought maybe it would work with the haircut too.

One thing we do to make the haircuts go faster amidst all the screaming is to have him stand on the chair, facing me while I stand in front of the chair. Then he hugs me and presses his face into my stomach, and the stylist can get to his hair pretty easily. She just goes as fast as she can while we all say reassuring things. Then we give him a sucker. :) (We don't use food/candy as a reward for anything but the doctor and haircuts!!)

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C.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

Dear L.,

Can you sit down next to him and get your hair cut first, so he can see that it doesn't hurt? Maybe dad can take him to the barbers to watch him get a haircut WITHOUT your little boy having to get his cut, for a few times, so he gets comfortable being in a haircutting atmosphere? I find my daughter is much more willing to try something she's hesitant about if others have done it first-whether it be me or other little kids....

Good luck!! And, congratulations on your 2nd bundle of joy on the way ;o)

C. & Chloë

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T.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

L., you wrote my story! Our son was deathly afraid of haircuts. We tried everything. From discussing it, to cutting it ourselves to trying to trim it while he slept (I don't recommend that - it's quite a mess!). Kids hair was still our best bet. He still screamed like he was getting an arm cut off, but at least they were fast. Speed was important. By the time he was around 4, he stopped the screaming, but he still hated it and it was still difficult. Now he is 8. We now have options. We can take him somewhere, or I can even cut it at home - but he still doesn't like it. He will sit good and still, but he still fights the idea and kind of cringes while it gets cut. Some kids are just like that I guess. Hopefully your little guy will adjust faster than ours did, but in the meantime, go for speed at kid's hair and remember that lots of kids cry there so at least you know their stylists won't be surprised!

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C.D.

answers from Omaha on

Most kids of this age are scared of getting their hair cut for some reason. I remember the first few times and it was not a good experience but the good thing is at this age they won't remember it. After a few times it will become an habit. Just reassure him or have him sit on your lap while getting his hair cut, yeah you end up all "hairy" too but it can help me. Just keep doing it and he will get used to it. The more of a big deal you make of it, the more dramtic the experience is going to be. You might also consider having your husband get his haircut at the same time to show him that it is a normal process and nothing to fear. Have patience, this too will pass. Although when they get to be teenagers then you may have a problem getting him to the barber then too. LOL. It is just a phase, you will find that this will happen with alot of things. My nephew for the longest time wouldn't walk in grass and who knows why they do the things they do. Persistant and patience will win out.

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

L.,

My oldest son is like this, too. He hasn't had any tramatic experiences, but just has always been terrified to get a haircut. He's my same boy who hated mobiles and flashing noisy toys as a baby and preferred to study the light between the blinds and the texture on the drywall. From age 6 months to age 5 he screamed when we went through the carwash like someone was sawing off his limbs with a dull knife.

Haircuts involved jerking head, trying to grab the clippers or the scissors, etc. No kind of distraction or reward that worked wonders with my other children would work with him. It didn't matter if we went somewhere for fun kids' haircuts or cut his hair at home. We sat down and talked about it, reassured him, etc. to no avail. He turns 7 next month and still gives me trouble every time he gets his haircut. Now he is old enough that we can just tell him if he jerks his head, throws a tantrum or tries to grab the clippers he will go to his room and lose all his screen time for the rest of the week. He is old enough now that he has the self control to restrain himself because he doesn't want to be punished. But he would still do it if we let him.

Two year olds are different. You can't rationalize with them like that. I would say have one parent hold him tight in a big bear hug and the other parent or the haircutter just go as quick as possible. Hopefully he will outgrow this phase. My second son cried because he saw his big brother do it, but after several haircuts realized there was nothing to be afraid of and became cooperative.

Good luck,
S.

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R.V.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son did NOT like Kids Hair. He was doing pretty well (not crying) until some other kids came in and were screaming. We could see him start tensing up and getting nervous then he started crying. It was also very loud with ALOT going on and I think it all just overwhelmed him.
We go to a small local salon now. The first time he went there he had to sit on my lap and he wanted nothing to do with the cape. He went in with me several times and she sent home a small cape for him to wear around the house and get used too. The next time we went in he sat on my lap with the cape on. He went with his Dad to Great Clips and watched intensely. When he was done he wanted a try and the lady pretended to cut his hair a little. Now he sits in the chair by himself and asks to get a haircut.
Try to make it fun. Take him with you or your husband and let him watch without getting his cut. I really think the selling point for our son was watching Daddy get his cut.
Let him watch and keep trying. I would not force the issue as that may cause him more upset and may take even longer for him to accept it. Lots of babies have long hair so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

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S.K.

answers from Eau Claire on

The first thing I think you should do is try to figure out what exactly he is afraid of there. My son was afraid of the electic clippers so we had his hair cut only with a scissors until he was 4 then he was willing to try it again - problem solved. Second bring him to the place where you and his dad get hair cuts when he isn't getting one to get him used to the place. Try a less busy time when he can sit in a chair next to you when you get your hair done instead of the waiting area then he will see it isn't a big deal. Most important though is to stop calling it a hair cut. Kids at 2 know what the word cut means and that is what sometimes scares them. With my daughter I started saying we are going to the beauty parlor to get our hair done - like my grandmother did - and she never had a problem. With a boy it might be good to go call it a barber. Actually a barber shop is sometimes set up differently so that the men waiting are near the chairs so it could help to take him to a barber shop at a busy time and let him sit a watch other men/boys getting cuts before it is his turn. Last is don't make it a special thing or anticipate problems. Kids are very intuitive and when you expect a problem and start acting extra sweet they learn early "oh no here comes something I'm not going to like" and then they react. Relax and think this is no big deal. Pay attention to what you say and how you say it when you are other places that he likes and use those relaxed comments. He may be only reacting because of your fear that he won't like it. One last thought is to go to the library and check out books or video about haircuts. Good Luck!

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A.N.

answers from Duluth on

Hello. My son was the same way about getting his hair cut at that age. Even at three its a challenge to find the right distraction or treat (movies and bubble baths top the current list.) One of the things that worked best when he was two was to make sock puppets together - with very long hair - and silly features. We would role play what it was like to get a hair cut and practice giving hair cuts with safety scissors on the sock puppets. Then while I trimmed his hair, he trimmed the sock puppets hair. I only had about 5 minutes to get the job done, but we worked in stages : ). It was an hour long process with the making and pretending, but it seemed to ease his anxiety. Hope this helps!

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E.M.

answers from Des Moines on

my son is the same age and he got used to it with time (i have been cutting his hair every 2 weeks since he was 2 months old) now that he is in the not wanting to sit still stage i try to make it a non eventful thing. sometimes i will feed him lunch and then before he gets out of the high chair while he is finishing some cheez its, animal crackers or toast pieces i give him a quick trim. other times we do it right before a shower so we can wash all the hair off. my son also likes to play in the sink so i let him stand on the step stool and play in the sink while i trim his hair. If you dont feel comfortable cutting his hair yourself. just try to add the hair cut in the middle of your errands do some things then say "oh before we go get grocery's lets go get your trimmed real quick" maybe it is the way you say it because little ones think of a "cut" as something painful that needs a band aid try changing the words to "trim" and he might relax a bit. if he feels like it is a big deal he will make it into a big deal so try to not play it up to much. good luck !

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A.F.

answers from St. Cloud on

Hi L.! I thought Karen K's response was so cute! Love it!

My daughter was so afraid too. Then I took her a few months ago to get her hair cut and she sat there like a queen and enjoyed every minute of it. My jaw was practically on the floor from surprise. So, my feeling is that he will grow out of it soon. In the mean time....is it possible or safe to cut the back while he is sleeping? Just a thought!

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K.E.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son is like this and he is 5! We just got his haircut on Saturday and it was a nightmare. He has always been like this and now that he can tell us exactly why he hates it, he says that he hates it when the hair gets in his eyes and mouth. And he feels all itchy. There has been nothing we have been able to do to get him over this. I am hoping he just grows out of it.
K.

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

What seemed to help my son get over his fear of haircuts was being able to sit in a car chair. Some places like Cost Cutters have little race cars for the kids to sit in during their haircut. Of course, it might just be that in my case his love of cars outweighed his fear of haircuts!

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B.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

My little boy was deathly afraid of haircuts too. The first time we took him to Kids Hair and he cried and screamed. He ended up sitting on his dad's lap for the haircut, which went fine. Did you try that? I don't understand why they are so scared either, they must think it's going to hurt. But once they find out it doesn't hurt at all, they're okay. My boy is 3 years old now, and it's hit or miss. Sometimes he's fine, and sometimes he still cries for haircuts. Good luck!

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