Scared to Have Another Baby but Want One Desperately!

Yes as the other's said, speak to your Doctor about this. See what the recommendations are and the "solutions."

Also, you said you really want 1 more baby. That makes 4 kids. Have you talked about it with Hubby? Is he in agreement? I'm sure he must be concerned about your health too? What does he think? He will be a part of this too, and caring about you and caring for you... and the new baby if so. I'm sure he must have thoughts on it too.

But if you think you can handle it all, and Hubby too, and have medical help for your ailments & if Doctor can offer positive advice....then that would be a great thing!

Next, you seem torn on being able to nurse or not. It's hard to predict what will happen... but you need to be prepared to do what is best for the BABY. No matter what. THAT is the primary priority. A baby must feed no matter what or how.

All the best,
Susan

Hemorrhoids can be treated by a doctor who speicalizes in this. They cut off the blood supply and the things just fall off. The Bladder problem has several treatment opptions as well. You can have an opportation that will probaly give a good result. You may want to have minimal treatments untill after you are done with pregnancy since another pregnancy will like give you more of the same problems. These two things are pretty normal side effects of pregnancy that your doctor should be able to sort out for you.

Maybe you could become a foster mom to a baby or adopt, that way you get to care for a baby yet don't have to go through all of the health problems that come along with it. There are so many kids/babies out there that need a loving home.

Hi M.,

I had the same hemorrhoid issue as you, in fact I still have them and if I use the bathroom more than once or twice in a day, they flare up. The hospital gave me some cream when I had my first daughter and I have to use that to reduce the swelling. They have surgeries that will remove the hemorrhoids but of course if you push too hard then more comes so I am not sure how to combat that. Also for the bladder issue they have procedures that can help with that, medicines I believe. At any rate, I wouldn't be fearful but ask your doctor what's the best approach prior to getting pregnant. Have you thought of a c section to bypass all of these problems? And since your last one is only 18 months do you think you should wait a while before getting pregnant again? My doctor told me that it's good to give your body some time to recover from the last pregnancy. As far as breastfeeding, I was never successful. I think I may have been able to do it for two painful weeks with my second one but that was it.

After that we used Carnation and they did wonderful on it. Not too much gas, and they were able to digest it very well. I will always recommend carnation formula although it's expensive. I want more children as well and have some concerns but I won't do anything until I speak with my doctor and see what's the best options for me. I think you will do just fine, just be patient and get all the information prior to getting pregnant again. Ask your doctor about all of the problems you mentioned on here and see what they say. Good luck.

You say these problems started after your first baby, so is there reason to believe they will get substantially worse with one more? And if they do...only you can answer if it is worth it to you or not! I agree that you should talk to your OBGYN about the health concerns, but it is not as if these would put your new baby into any higher risk of complications...they just discomfort you.
As far as nursing....you can always try and see if you have problems. If you do and just can't stand the pain you are not a horrible mother to stop nursing. Being unable/not desiring to nurse is not a reason to not have children. It's a personal choice that you shouldn't feel bullied into or guilty about. Being a mom is enough pressure.

I have only had one child and have the same bladder issue that you do. All I have to say is DO YOUR KEGLES! After doing them everyday for nearly 2 months I am not as prone to tinkle everytime I sneeze or cough. What it comes down to, in my opinion, is.... Is having another child worth the "risk" that it could be a hard recovery? Look at your other kids and ask yourself this. I think that you will find the answer in your heart. Whatever you decide, I send you many happy "no tinkle" thought! :)

Hi M.,

There is a procedure that can be done to correct the leakage problem. Talk to your ob/gyn about it, and it can be done once you are sure you are finished having children. In the meantime, try Kegel exercises, and that may help some.

As for nursing, even though you are a seasoned mom and have nursed three times, if you want to nurse again with the next baby, seek out a great lactation consultant in your area prior to giving birth. I'm sure other moms in your area can give referrals. Explain the problem to the consultant and get advice on possible ways to avoid the problem. Once you have the baby, seek help from her early on to assist in proper latching, etc. As soon as you think you might have a clog, seek help from the consultant so the problem can be resolved if possible.

Good luck with everything!

J.