My son is autistic and predominantly nonverbal. He is 6 years old. I get a phone call from his school stating they lost him in that he ran off. He is prone to do this. School knows this as he has done this before to be found down the hall, in another class, or in the cafeteria. The entire school is indoors. This time our local police department found him a half hour walk away. The principal stated that he understands now why I question things. I didn't say anything of the sort on the phone at all but I'm sure he realizes that's where my mind was. Anyhow, my anxiety is through the roof. I am beyond words happy and grateful that yes the PD did their job and was able to find my son AND he was found safe. No, my son doesn't understand not to run off or run into traffic.
I know that everyone did exactly as they should and I am not angry with the school. My mind is whirling but I'm trying not to speculate prior to getting the reports from the school and PD to see for myself what happened. So, for the required question have any of you been through something similar?
ETA: Thank you ALL for your kid words and suggestions. My son of course has an IEP, he's been in school since age 3 and due to where he is at(mentally)the school did not deem it appropriate for a full-time aide. However, I feel that it is imperative at this point as many of you have stated. I'm only maintaining myself because there's nothing that I can do right now and so getting myself into a fit will only do harm to myself. It's times like this that I hope to hell and back that our luck does not run out. I feel horrible because there's nothing I can do right now but I am hopeful that I can mentally and emotionally keep it together until my husband is home this evening. Unfortunately(for me)all of my friends and family are at work so I cannot call on them to talk to so thank you all for being there.
We went and spoke with the school today. He slipped out through a side door that is outside of the classroom. He wound up 3/4 of a mile away in about 10 minutes. The school is going to implement some things(harness, alarms, extra gates)and we're trying to get him a 1:1 aide. We took the route he most likely took himself and after seeing that I am beyond words elated that my son came home safe and sound.
Not with my son, but my cousin (LFA). He had a backpack padlocked on him with a GPS the size of a toaster when he was in regular school 20 years ago. These days he just has a small hikers on padlocked in a mesh divers bag to his belt. (He doesn't take his first layer of clothes off, so it's safe enough, but they DO have to be padlocked on him, as he takes everything ELSE off).
How scary this must have been for you! I'm SO glad he was ok.
You know, I saw something on the news a year or so ago about tennis shoes that have GPS locators in them... smart shoes I think they are called. These have primarily been used for dementia patients, so I don't know if they make them for children. While I haven't been through this exact experience, my 3 year old is an escape artist and I have had a couple of heart stopping "where is she" moments. I'd love a tracking device on her. In fact, all children under a certain age should have them!
How do you keep an eye on him at home?
As he gets older what type of precautions have worked for you?
I also have a mom friend with a son that wanders. But he is also physically aggressive. He is now in his late 20's. It is physically exhausting for her. He is now taller and bigger than her.
They actually have a live in aide and an assistant that comes to stay nights. .
Their home is set up with all sorts of security windows, doors and their back yard fences also have special locks. These locks would not have been allowed in school. He needs assistance to get to the front doors they need special codes or keys to open.
They are very fortunate to have the resources to take care of him in their home.
In our elementary school, he had an assigned aide. Once he outgrew elementary school, he attended a special public school here and was again assigned a special aide.
He dose have a bracelet that sets off an alarm when he is outside of the security areas of their home.
my cousin's oldest son did this very often, between 6 and 10. He is 21 now and has more control of his impulse drive.
Raymond often was able to get by his aide, and get outside the school. They had a transmitter watch on him as well, and usually found him quite far from school. One time he was able to get almost 2 miles away and gone for 24 hours. I think he ran from school 3 times outside of it, and numerous times inside.
Each time she wondered what to. I can only imagine the anxiety your feeling, and my cousin was always extremely stressed with Ray. She did understand his particular need to want to explore, unaided and this was back in the times Autism was not widely known or understood, she always was fighting for the awareness about her son's needs.
I hope your able to get some closure on this.
You really need to get a child locator device as the previous poster said. One being for him at school.
And also have a "medical bracelet" type thing on him, too?
Also, perhaps your city has assistant dogs for autistic children?
Google search it.
Here is a couple of links:
http://4pawsforability.org/autism-assistance-dog/
http://autismservicedogsofamerica.com/
This has happened before.
It will not be the last time.
So you need to do something and get something for him, even a service Dog to assist him. And it would help him at school and at home.
Because it is not only the school's responsibility.
And even if they are perfect about it, things happen.
So get preventative or proactive measures, for your son.
I do know a family that has an autism dog for their son who has many of the same tendencies. The dog has been very helpful.
You deserve a lot of credit for keeping cool and keeping this in perspective. This hasn't happened to my child but I know someone on the other side of the equation -- a child care worker who realized one kid was not there. He had left the building and was all the way down at the major intersection at the end of the very long driveway. He was OK -- the difference is, he was a preschooler.
As others say --your son so obviously needs a full-time aide. I am actually surprised he doesn't already have one due to his being nonverbal and his having a clear history of running off. Next time he might not be found so quickly. I would go, in person, to the school tomorrow -- not in a week or later but tomorrow. See the principal and say that until your son has a full-time aide at his side, you will have to attend school with him. That will basically make them freak out a bit, and I know you don't want to upset them, but though they "did exactly as they should," this should not have happened, and it should not happen again. They will not want a parent sitting in class all day so the statement "I will have to bring him here and stay here all day" should spur them to get your son an aide.
Isn't he already on some kind of formal, written IEP (individual education plan) that you have already worked out with the principal, counselors, etc.? He should have one. This is a document that requires the school to provide certain accommodations to a student. A full-time aide can be one of those accommodations. If this is public school and you do not have an IEP -- get one. It is written assurance of what the school MUST provide, a kind of contract you can insist be enforced.
My son is autistic as well and yes he has "tried" to leave school a few times. My son is verbal he just does not communicate well. Asking him "What he is doing" is not a question he can answer.
On his first attempt (kindergarten) he was caught by a teacher before reaching the parking lot. My son had decided that I was taking him home from school that day and was going to wait in the parking lot for me. On his second attempt he was caught by an aide who happened to be in the hallway and got him just as he exited the building (first grade). His class was at the library and he had forgotten his book. He left it at home, unbeknownst to the teacher. So when he asked to get his book, the teacher said "go quickly and get it" thinking he had left it in his backpack. So he was headed out the front door of school to get his book at home (we live close to school).
After this second incident he was assigned and aide to make sure there were no more attempts to leave school. Our school was very concerned for his safety at this point and was not taking any more chances.
I am truly grateful that your son was found safe and sound, but I have to wonder how long he was gone before any one noticed if he was able to get a half hour away. I would insist on and aide to make sure he stays with his group and if he runs off, someone to go after him immediately. Anything "could" have happened in that time frame and it should be the schools priority to make sure it never happens again.
Good Luck
I am so sorry that this has happened, but am so happy he was found. Another poster has a good point. How long did it take for them to note that he was missing if he was that far away from school?
He needs a FT aide, period. Big hugs to you and your boy.
Never been through this. I am sorry you have.
It is time to pressure the school to hire a FT aide to stay with your son. I think that now there is enough proof that one is needed...if only simply for personal safety.
I wish you the best...
Oh my gosh!
I don't even know what to say other then THANK GOODNESS he was found and is ok. I am so sorry this happened!!!
Is there a more secure place he could go to school? I have never been in your shoes, so I have no idea what all you have to think about and deal with. But obviously the school needs to be better apt at keeping his safety #1.
Good luck mamma!!! I am so glad your little guy is ok!
Wow, how scary! I'm so glad he was found and is safe! I agree with the others - it does sound like a full-time aide is necessary while he's at school. Hopefully the school can help out with that right away to ease your mind!
There are tracking devices which can alert if a child leaves a designated area.
Find one that works for you and the school.
http://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2011/06/01/10-resour...
No, but my friend has. Her son is also nonverbal. He is not prone to run, but he did anyway. He didn't get far, because his mom had just gotten to the school to pick him up, and she caught him. She had a good talk with the school administration after that.
I am so sorry you went through this. How incredibly stressful. Stay strong, and continue to be a vocal advocate for your son. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for the long journey ahead.
Not really. But my heart stopped for a few minutes during my daughters first soccer practice. She went off with abother team on the other side of the group of fields and I couldn't see her or find her for a few minutes (that week was a mess) and no coaches helped look but another mom did and my daughters dad was there and was scanning from another angle
Hell, no, and I cannot imagine it. Big ol' fat hugs to you and your baby.
You're pretty good for not blaming. I would blame them, especially since they know that he's a risk.
Wow, no.
That is horrible. If he was an hours walk away fom school, at what point did school realize that he was missing? When did you get the call? That is just plain scary.. School needs to make sure somone is verifying he is where he belongs every 5 mins.. one person, not 3 or more..
I am so glad that he was found and especially glad that he was safe and unharmed. I have never gone through anything remotely similar. Heck, if I lose sight of a LO in a department store my mind goes to all sorts of dark places within seconds. I am sure you went to those same dark places!
IMHO, you should inquire about an aide. Since this incident, I would think the school would back you up on it since THEY are responsible for your son from the time you put him on the bus until you get him off the bus.
Terrible! Does your son have a FT aide? If not he clearly needs one. I f he does then I still don't understand how he could get 1/2 hour walk away from the school. Crazy!!!
OMG that is TERRIFYING. Thank god he is ok and safe. No I have not been through anything like that.
One time I asked my sister to pick up my daughter from preschool because I had to work overtime. She forgot and realized she did so when she saw me at her front door. Her jaw dropped and my knees gave out.
She grabbed her keys and took me to the school to find they were still there waiting for us. Fortunately, she had been at that school for a while and I had not record of doing this.
It was a Friday night, I was her only parent and I thought if she goes to juvey, she would never forgive me.
It seems she doesn't remember now as an adult and I never bring it up.
I can imagine how you felt, but just sneak in there in give him one more kiss tonight.
I am glad he was found unharmed.
