I worked in a toddler room in 2 different centers. and taught full day for a bit and 8 years in a half day preschool. Reports were part of our program for the toddlers, but not for the preschoolers we did a weekly listing of our "projects" instead.
I think a lot of the back lash you are getting is because you said "SCHOOL" and maybe people think you mean kindergarten ??idk perhaps too a Center vs in home care might be different??
At the centers I worked for , We were to document toileting, eating and napping. plus general mood. The reports were a very valuable tool for parents ( maybe I need to say-that care about their kids) to use to determine if the crankiness at night is due to no nap, being hungry, teething/molars coming in, or illness. Why would you not care about those things so that you can best help your child. giving them teething pain reliver wouldn't help a kid that didn't have nap, and a kid that needs an earlier bed time wouldn't be helped by assuming it was something else. It blows my mind that ....a "parent' wouldn't "care".... about those details in a child under 3. and to say as long as my kids is happy really fries me, my kid would be Happy if I left them at Chuckie Cheese for a week. My kid would be Happy if I fed them icecream 3 meals a day. Perhaps people meant to say as long as my child wasn't crying all day away from me. or as long as my child wasn't being beaten?
Daycares can be wonderful places and there are some very special people that work there, but there are some bad ones too. Phsycial safety of the place, the quality of the staff- from how polite they are to me, how they treat the children, how honest they are, and if they are knowledgable about child development , are FAR more important to me than if they have fun toys that the kid likes.
To give the care providers the benefit of the doubt, I will say some people have different ideas of how to qualify how much of someone's lunch was eaten, All to me would mean their usual amount, like maybe all of the half sandwich they were given but not the crusts, and all might mean 4 of the 5 apple slices. another person might be stricter and count that as MOST but not ALL.
Also in regards to nap time, perhaps you counted from when she fell asleep to when she first opened her eyes. were as the staff counted when the lights went out to when dd was fully awake running around the room.
It is hard because usally someone different would cover my lunch during naptime, so how I defined things could be different.
and it is true that if things happened that day out of the ordinary I might not have kept careful records, dealing with a puker for example or being short staffed.
one thing I always felt was very misleading to parents was who was actually with their kid during the day, the drop off teacher might not be the one handling lunch or recess or nap. It was common for teachers from other rooms and age levels to be pulled in to cover ratio, and often time the kids didint' know who they were.
If you dont' feel like you trust the lead teacher then by all means speak to the director. but if they are fudging records why would you think anything would change if you complained? It's hard to keep staff as it is so they probably wouldn't not fire her for not documenting naps consistenstently. if you wanted them to just explain the day better and who could possibly be in the rom and what their responsibilities are, they would probably do that for you if you set up an appointment.
I think doing another pop in observation would be a good idea. I very rarely had paretns do that and I don't ever recall someone staying for more than 30 mins to watch through the observation window, I find it a little hard to believe you just sat from lunch through the whole nap watching. did I misunderstand that part?? I would also sometimes be telling the person writing the report what to put down from my observations if I was trying to deal with something else.
Could you tell from the handwriting or initials if this same person always fills out the reports or not? or oculd you tell if it was a busy day and someone might have just been helping out outside of the normal routine??
shrot answer, I would be upset, but there is'n't a whole lot you can do other than to ask some questions and try to figure out what is really going on.