Second Child Doesn't Talk as Well

Updated on February 09, 2009
D.K. asks from Southlake, TX
36 answers

For those of you with more than one child, did your second talk later and less? My 15 month old grandson doesn't use nearly as many words as his older brother did at that age. He also isn't inclined to talk. I try to get him to talk to me and he looks at me like I'm such a silly person. Is this normal? The older one does talk for him sometimes, but most of the time, he says "I don't know what he wants."

Just wondering. Does it make a difference that he's a boy?

D. Kimbriel

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So What Happened?

Wow - what a great response. Everyone reassured me that he is completely normal, just his own little person. Special thanks to L L for the great websites. Erika L also told me about her son taking her by the finger and dragging her around to show what he wanted. My little one does this exactly. Makes me feel so much better that others have had the same experiences. Thanks so much for all your help.

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L.L.

answers from Dallas on

I agree, as difficult as it may be, do not compare the two children. Both may develop at different paces and still be within normal bounds.

Do a little research on language development on line. At 15 months, it's pretty normal to not be using many words. Take a look at this website http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/voice/speechandlanguage.a... and http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/development/language_...

Good luck!

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A.F.

answers from Dallas on

My first daughter was talking in sentences at 16mo old, and my 2nd daughter worried me because she did not say anything at all. She would point and grunt until she was 2 1/2 yrs old. Dr said not to worry they all develop at different times, but it's hard not to worry. FINALLY my little girl spoke her first word, and it wasn't one of those sweet "mamma or dadda" words...when she spoke her first word, it was a complete sentence! "Momma, sissy hit me!" She just sat back and took it all in, and finally started talking.

Don't worry, he'll talk when he's ready, but my boys knew they didn't have to talk, they have sister's to talk for them, so why should they. I'm forever telling my girls to quit talking for the boys, I need them to tell me what they want, otherwise they're never going to learn how to speak properly. The boys are doing great, I just have to shush my girls on a regular basis. They're just wanting to help, but I have to tell them "he can tell me, I need him to use his words".

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B.M.

answers from Dallas on

Yes. It makes a difference that he is a boy. It makes a difference that he is the second. It makes a difference that he is a new and unique individual. The don't always seem to follow exactly the same schedule. In my six I've seen some gender differences and more importantly, I've seen personality differences. My oldest could speak quite clearly at an early age, but didn't talk much. He's 12 now. He's a very articulate young man, but he still isn't usually a chatterbox. His second sister didn't really start talking until she was two. It was like someone turned the spigot on at full blast. She wasn't just saying a few words, she was having entire conversations and she didn't stop. I think you grandson is probably just fine.

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W.K.

answers from Dallas on

My friend son has amazing results after using nutritional supplement. In a short time his vocabulary improved. He went to a speech therapy and they couldn't believe results. Let me know if you want to learn more. Bless you-W.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

I have two boys and my second doesn't have but 4 words and he is 18 months. My oldest had a huge vocabulary by 18 months. Their pedi said my 18 month old is normal as far as language development and that my oldest was exceptional. It does get frustrating though because my 18 month old whines and cries more than my oldest did because of the lack of vocabulary and being able to talk to me and tell me what he needs or wants. However, my second son has done just about everything else before his brother did like walk.

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N.B.

answers from Dallas on

This is another grandma and old Pedi nurse. Don't worry too much. There is a broad range of normal with speech and language development. Second kid get better service and have to say less because their mothers have a lot of the body language and other indicators figured out. And the older sib tends to anticipate their needs as well. If your daughter's pedi thinks there's a need for speech therapy he'll say so. Otherwise, just keep telling him you love him and interact as normally as you might anyone else who doesn't talk much. If he plays (and at his stage of development it is normally side by side and not yet interactive) and smiles and makes eye contact sounds good to me!

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

probably the little guy has someone always talking for him; therefore, why should he talk... hang in there grandma.

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R.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi D.,

My nephew (1st born) spoke early. His sister (2nd child - 6 yrs younger) didn't say much other than mama and dada until she was 2. She just really didn't want to talk. Once she started, it was a little harder to understand her than it had been for my nephew but it became easier pretty quickly. She had this whole vocabulary that we had no idea she had because she just refused to use it. My brother once told me that it took so long for her to finally talk that once she started she didn't want to stop!

I think if your grandson can communicate what he wants and you feel like he understands you - but just won't say the words - then one day he'll just decide to talk. It will probably surprise you how many words he actually knows or how quickly he picks up new words once he does start too.

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

I know a lot of people will tell you not to compare children to each other because they are all different. However, there are milestones that children should reach by certain ages.

By 12 months of age, they should have four words of speech. By 18 months of age, 20 words and 5 two-word phrases. This is a MINIMUM.

If a child is late in developing these skills, providing extra stimulation to support their development would be WISE.

www.parentswithpurpose.com

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P.P.

answers from Dallas on

I know with my grandkids, it was the same way. My grandson is 3 years older than my granddaughter and she didn't talk near as early as him. We always said it was because he talked for her. If she wanted something, he would tell us, so she never had to. We couldn't understand her, but he could. I don't think it's anything to worry about. Aren't grandkids the best... it seems like we stress about the little things a whole lot more with them than we ever did with our own kids.

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

Very normal for the second one not to talk as soon as the first. Children talk at different stages. I wouldn't worry just yet.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

My first boy was an early everything: crawling, walking and talking. My second son did not really start talking until he was close to 3 years old. He turns 5 this month and still has speech difficulties. My third son is 19 months and he is progessing faster than the second one did. Even my 6 mos old seems to "talk" more than any of the other 3 ever did at this age. It is different for each child.
I have heard of parents putting their kids in speach therapy at 2 years old. I myself think 2 is too young for speech therapy.
Boys (that is all I have by the way) are generally slower learners than girls (at least that is what I hear). I would not stress too much, he is only 15 months. Give him some time to find his voice.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

My 2st child, a girl, talked like a pro at 18 months. She was singing and you could clearly understand her. My second child, a boy, did more grunting until he was a bit older. I'd say by 2-1/2 he was speaking clearly and well. Second children usually talk later and especially boys usually talk later. Don't worry!

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E.J.

answers from Dallas on

He's probably fine. Most pediatricians will tell you that he falls well within normal development. However, my two youngest required speech therapy because they had persistent fluid in their ears and had hearing problems when they were babies. It definitely affected their speech development. If you have any doubts, take him to an ENT and have it checked out. They can test the pressure in the ear and check for fluid. If this is the problem, you can have tubes put in, and the earlier the better. Good for you for being concerned about this--mom (or grandma)will usually have good intuition.

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C.I.

answers from Lubbock on

Hi D.,
I have two children 5 and 6 yrs. My daughter the 5yr old did not speak as early as my son did either. Her brother and we the parents seemed to know what she wanted and anticipated her requests so I think that is why she didn't talk. When she did talk she spoke a three word sentence the first time. She said "me want milk" unlike myn son's one word start. So I guess she was taking it all in but didn't talk until she was ready. Now she has an above average commmand of english and she has no problem expressing herself! So I wouldn't worry unless the Dr. says so.
Smiles, Celia

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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

Probably doesn't need to...the older one probably speaks for both of them. This is common in sibblings close in age and very common among multiples...one is often the "designated" spokesman. And, boys are very often less verbal than little girls. I would just watch his speech and ability to communicate as he grows.

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R.A.

answers from Dallas on

If you have any concern (you know, that nagging kind that won't leave you alone) you could call ECI (Early Childhood Interventino). They will come to your house and do a free evaluation to see if your grandson needs speech therapy, and then that is also done at your house (or school) for free up to age 3.

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B.W.

answers from Dallas on

My son spoke in full intelligible sentances at 15 months. My daughter, 23 mos younger, did really say more than a few words until she was two or so. He never let her get a word in! They are teenagers now and you'd never know. She was taking in all that language the whole time, just waiting her turn I guess. fyi, one of the first things she said clearly was to say loudly in his face "BE NICE" after he tipped her over while she was still not a steady walker. I think it's completely normal for a second child to not talk as much/as early.

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L.F.

answers from Dallas on

Hi D., I just took my 15 month old son to the doctor and he has told me not to worry! My son should be saying 4 - 10 words by the time he is 18 months. My daughter who is 3 was talking up a storm at 18 months.

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W.H.

answers from Dallas on

My 3 yr.old grand-daughter did'nt start talking till she turned 3.they all start talking at different ages, so im would'nt worry much. once they start they don't stop. just kepp talking to him and reading books to him he will start soon enough.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

I don't think you need to worry, especially since he is only 15 months old. I have three daughters. My eldest spoke early and spoke well. My middle child was right with the averages, but she went through a stuttering phase which freaked me out a little until I found out its fairly common (the brain & mouth aren't in sync) and she grew out of it. My littlest one wasn't saying very many words at 18 months (the average is about 20 words but she was doing maybe 10) but I wasn't overly concerned because it was clear she had good comprehension. She is now two and is speaking as well as the average two-year old is expected to (actually, she sings a lot!).

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M.P.

answers from Dallas on

Hi D..
Our first child was chatty Cathy and she began talking early. Our second child came along 18 months later. She did not talk. Also she would point to the things she wanted and makes sounds instead of words. We were very concerned. During a visit with our pediatrician we discussed and he felt all was well. He pointed out that becaus she was the youngest/new baby she really didn't have to talk because her sister was talking for her and when she gestured to what she wanted we would oblige. He suggested we make an effort to talk less for her which would require her to speak more for herselt. It worked! All turned out fine. M

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T.W.

answers from Dallas on

If by age of 2 they aren't putting 2 words together like "red truck" then he may need to be tested. At least that is what they told me when my 2nd son was that age. He drooled excessively also (I didn't think anything about it but he always needed a bib). So at age 2 1/2 we had his hearing checked and then had ECI (Early Childhood Intervention-- check with doctor for referral) come test him. Turns out he had "low motor control" in his mouth and so couldn't form words and control drooling. So after year of therapy (mostly consisting of getting him to suck thru straw), he was age appropriate and hasn't stopped talking since. Hope this helps.

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G.A.

answers from Dallas on

I do not see a lot of talking but blabbering at 15 mos. I know an18 month that knew tons of stuff and sang songs and knew is ABC and all but I see more by 20 mo or 2 they are talking well. I had a 13 mo in my day care so fat he is not walking yet and not willing to try. All are different. A lot has to do with them getting what they want without having to talk. But my son could not hear and he needed tubes so be ware if it goes past 2 yrs old he may not be able to hear. I have a Home Day Care and loving it. Take care from one grandma to another God Bless. G. W

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T.J.

answers from Dallas on

All children do develop differently, I have 3 children and all of them met there milestone differently. If you do feel that there might be red flag. There is an agency that acesses children under 3 years old and if there is a delay they offer thearpy. It is ECI and can be looked up online. The easiest way to find it is just to googe ECI (Early Childhood Intervention)Good luck!

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E.L.

answers from Dallas on

Hi D.,
My 4 year old has the vocabulary of a 30 year old… they actually moved him up a class (not my wish) and my 2 1/5 year old didn’t say anything legible until about 4 months ago.

My husband and I were very concerned; he would grab us by the finger and lead us to what he needed at the time. Be careful what you wish for, now he talks VERY LOUD all of the time. It is non stop, on the potty, eating, asleep, in the car….

Long story short, this is very normal!
Good Luck and please don’t worry,
E.

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

Yes, this was my exact experience. My older son was talking in sentences at 18 months. My younger son did not do so until he was 3. Also my older son was reading before he was 5. My younger son didn't read well until he was 6. My younger son, however, is far more physical and was running well and doing a whole lot more in this area than my older son (and still does at age 13). My younger son also was slower in some speech issues resolving, but we didn't make a big deal about it and he has progressed at his own pace. He just participated in a speech league activity yesterday and got a 2nd place ribbon, so in my experience, this situation isn't a problem at all and is just an example of how different each child is!

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R.E.

answers from Dallas on

That is exactly how my two sons have been (they are 7 & 4). My oldest was a young talker, but didn't walk until he was 14 months old. My youngest didn't do much other than grunt until he was about 2 1/2 but was walking at 8 months old. So, I don't think that's unusual at all. My pedi didn't have any concerns. I always wondered if it was how I was with them. With my first, I held him a lot as a baby and would talk to him. I barely ever set him down, thus he talked sooner than he walked. However, with my 2nd, I had a 3 year old, so he was set down a whole lot more while I dealt with the older one. Thus, he had more opportunities for rolling and crawling and less "talking to."

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M.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi D.,
I am the third child of the family. My older brother and sister started to talk early. I was a healthy and smart kid but I started to talk really late and had some speech problems until about 3 years old. I still remember which words I had trouble to pronounce! Then I would go on and became very talkative.
I believe you don't have to worry about your grandson. Each child has his/her own character (quiet or talkative) and develops at his/her pace.

Best,
Quynh-Anh

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H.H.

answers from Dallas on

The exact same thing happened with my second child. So much so that when he was two I arranged to have his speech evaluated. It took one month to get that scheduled and by the time the speech pathologist arrived he had caught up and was completely normal for his age. It was more of an explosion with him. He was silent for a long time and then all of a sudden knew tons of words. It doesn't help that the oldest often talks for him.

He is fine at 5. He is still my quiet child, but we have found out through his Kindergarten testing that he is absorbing ALOT. WAY more than we gave him credit for...

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L.S.

answers from Tyler on

Hey -
My son had to have speech therapy (he was already 2 when he started), but they told me there are a few reasons that children are delayed:
1. they are a 2nd child.
2. They are a boy.
3. They are twins.

And I can't remember the others, but your grandchild fits two of those! Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it at 15 months. I started pushing for interference at 18 months and they finally gave me speech therapy at about 2. I pushed hard because my son only fit the "boy" category - he wasn't a twin and he was the first child.

-L.

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S.P.

answers from Abilene on

Hi D.,
Second kiddos don't usually talk as much as the first child, because they don't have to. I usually tell my parents that if a child is saying between 10 and 20 words by the time they are 2 years old, they are just fine. The second child usually relies on the older sibling to verbalize his thoughts and needs. Sounds like things are going just fine with these two little guys! My advice would be to read as much as you can to the little fellows, and they will hear and "catch" the language from you!
Blessings,
SPreston, Pediatric Nurse Practitioner

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J.G.

answers from Amarillo on

Hi D.,
I have two children. Though my daughter is 18 and my son 4 so its basically like have two only children! My son did not say many words at all untill just a few mos before his second b-day. At that time,we started working with him through ECI. It worked wonders. They had me sign with him at first and not give a cup untill he signed for it,also using the word for it. After a few months something just clicked! I think at 15 mos he is too young to worry about it. My Dr. did not seem concerned at all untill he was almost 2. I don't remember having any concerns with my daughters speech though she did everything early as I think is the norm for girls. I would learn a few easy signs,like please,thank-you and eat or drink. Use the sign and say the word at the same time. Repeat it over and over. It worked for my son. Have a good day!

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A.L.

answers from Dallas on

I am going through this right now. My son is 15 months and my daughter is almost 3 1/2. I try to get my son to repeat me and he looks at me like yeah right. My daughter talked amazingly at 18 months. It is normal from what I have been told.

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

At 15 months, you don't need to worry. Neither of my boys really started their language explosion until closer to 32-34 months, until then it was a handful of single words, ball, dog, mama, that sort of thing. Until the language explosion, they had a lot of temper tantrums, usually due to mom & dad not understanding what they wanted, the 2nd one was more prone to this than the first. My daughter started her language explosion closer to 24 months.

A friend's son turned 3 last October and I've just noticed in recent weeks he's saying sentences. His parents are from Bulgaria and my friend, his mom, is a professor of languages, so she often speaks to him in Bulgarian, English, Spanish and French. Children who are exposed to other languages are often delayed in their speech.

I guess what I'm saying is that every child is different. When he's around 3 and still isn't talking, then it's time to start taking action.

K.

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V.A.

answers from Amarillo on

Not trying to be harsh, and I understand your concern, but stop comparing what the second is doing as compared to the first. As humans, we are all different, do things differently, and at a different pace. Not all kids do things at the same time, if I had compared all my kids to my first,(there are six) I would have done nothing but worry. The first walked early, talked early and did alot of things way before they said she should. The second and beyond were more on schedule and it didn't concern me in the least. They are all different idividuals, they will all do things at their own pace. Now if he were 15 months and not saying ANYTHING, then there would be cause for concern, but if he's talking, and sometimes its not what you can understand, then I wouldn't worry about it too much. If he has no vocabulary when its time to start preschool then I would be concerned. Give him time, and remember, he's not his brother, he is himself.

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