Second Time Infertility

Updated on February 25, 2007
L.L. asks from Highland, IN
15 answers

Hi Ladies. I am new to this group.I am the mother of a 5 year old & have been strugglin gover the past 3 years to get pregnant again. Been thru all the fertility testing, had surgery a year ago to remove tubal blockage, got pregnant in May, only to have a miscarriage in June. Have had no luck since then concieving again. My doctor keeps telling me to be patient, that everything looks fine. He wants to wait another 6 months before trying clomid. I am using an ovulation monitor, and trying to stick with the intercourse every other day bit, but I am worried that due to age, it may not happen again (I am 35). Has anyone had a similar problem or know of any "tricks" or advise? I'd appreciate any input you may have to share. Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for the advise. I will take all into consideration. I do want to meantion one thing, though. The reason my doctor wanted to wait anther 6 months from November (my last visit) was because I did concieve - although I miscarried - after he performed the surgery last February, almost immediately. He truely believes that it is the stress & worry from the miscarriage that is causing my lack of conception now. We did agree that if nothing in April, we would move on with other options/opinions. Again, thank you all!

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L.C.

answers from Chicago on

L.,

I was 34 when the doctor finally had me try Clomid. She also did an IUI ( interuterine insemination). This worked the first time. Has the doctor suggested doing that. It is a clinical way of getting pregnant, but it worked.

For my second pregnancy at 38,I was put on Clomid again ( no IUI) , but this time I had twins.

Good luck.

L.

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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

HI L.,

First of all, my heart goes out to you. It is a difficult place to be, because everyone with primary infertility has an attitude of "well, at least you have one child" and everyone else says either "be patient" or "maybe you are done". I actually had someone tell me that my eggs were too old! To my face!! Ouch!

Anyway, I am 39 and I have 3 kids (13, almost 5 and 3) and I struggled with secondary infertility for about 18 months (I know, not that long...) I had 2 miscarriages in that time as well. I would HIGHLY recommend to you the book, "Taking Charge of your Fertility" It teaches you to chart your cycles and how you can REALLY be sure you are ovulating and when. It was a HUGE eye opener for me. Most people (and virtually every doctor) opperate on the assumption that women have a 28 day cycle and ovulate about day 14. NOT TRUE! I have about a 33/34 day cycle and I found out I ovulate about day 18/19. No wonder I wasn't getting pg. Also, after my 2nd miscarriage, I discovered I had a hormone imbalance (low progesterone), so I started on progesterone cream and in the 2nd cycle of that I successfully got pg, and as of yesterday, am at 20 weeks. I would also HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend the book "What Your Doctor May NOT Tell You About Premenopause-Balancing Your Hormones Between 30 and 50". Revolutionary. Between those 2 books, I am sure that is how I got pg. (aside from the obvious that it was God's timing). And forget sex every other day...that's a sure way to lose all romance! Been there as well...you need to know when you are fertile, and ovulation predictors can only tell you just so much..

I have gotten SO frustrated with the medical world over this. There are other things out there besides Clomid. I hope this information is helpful to you somehow. If you want to know more or just vent to someone who's been there, email me!

L.

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K.F.

answers from Chicago on

You might want to switch doctors. If you have been trying for over a year, then you are a candidate for fertility treatments. I went through fertility testing/treatments in 2005 and got pregnant in January 2006 using a combination of clomid and inter-uterin insemination. My little girl is now 5 months old. My fertility doctor is located in Orland Park, but I think there are other offices in the Chicago area. If you are interested, I can send you the contact information. It seems like you are unhappy with your doctor's choice to keep waiting it out. It might be time for you to explore your options. whatever you choose, I wish you luck!

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T.F.

answers from Chicago on

Contact Homefirst Health Services www.homefirst.com
They will probably suggest an all natural Progesterone cream. It's worked for many women!

All the best!

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E.T.

answers from Chicago on

Hi L.,
I'm also sorry to hear about your troubles. You are not alone, I'm going through secondary infertility as well and am 38. I will probably have to have surgery to remove a bad tube, and am hoping the remaining one is OK. All this stuff is scary and it makes it worse when you hear the clock ticking in the background. I really know how you feel! I don't have experiece w Clomid yet, but I agree w the other moms, there's no need to wait 6 mos. I would go get a 2nd opinion from one of the docs they recommended and start fresh. I have heard of a wonderful fertility doc named Kaplan in Lincoln Park, let me know if you need me to track down his number. I know several people who went to him and had success. I'm thinking about trying relaxation techniques and possibly accupuncture too, might be a good idea. Best of luck, keep us posted!
E.

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

Thank G-d no experience with this but what about going for a second opinion? If age is not on your side why should you have to wait 6 months? That sounds like too long already. U have been trying for a while. Go get second opinions or third until they put you on something or get the ball rolling sooner. I would hate for you to wait and then not have luck merely because of age. If nothing is wrong then you should be getting pregnant. Clearly something is wrong and the doctors need to be more aggressive so that you can have a healthy happy baby --soon. I wish you all the luck and may G-d grant you your wishes for a child very soon.

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R.

answers from Chicago on

Hi L.,
I'm sorry to her that you are having problems concieving again. I am about to go through IVF for the second time (hopefully I'm keeping my fingers crossed). The first time around I did everything anyone said, intercourse every other day, face your bed to the west, you name it i did it. After about an year and a half I went thru all of the tests and clomid for 6 months then my doctor sent me to an endocrinologist to talk about IVF. Because of my age at the time (39) and my FSH levels were not bad but on the high side he suggested that we go straight to IVF. The first cycle nothing happened my levels were high and I didn't produce enough eggs, needless to say very stressfull. The doctor sent me to a accupuntist and within a month my levels were on target and I was ready to go again, then I got pregnant. I have a wonderfull 2 year old son. Now I am two months shy of my 42nd birthday and I hope that I can do it again, I am in the middle of all my test right now and I hope I get the green light next week.

My doctors says that he likes to see women before they turn 39 and that some women like myself are waiting to have children and that your chances take a major drop after 42.

I really believe in accupuncture (now) at first I didn't, It helps with stress and blood flow. My therapist says that it can assist with clomid and IVF.

Not sure were you are located my endocrinologist has several offices - I see Dr. Lawrence Jacobs for infertily he is great I think that other doctors would have turned me away, but he stuck with me. Dr. Jacobs website is www.fcionline.com. E-mail me if you would like to talk more or if you would like any phone numbers.

Good Luck and hope to her you are expecting soon.
R.

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A.C.

answers from Chicago on

L.,
I feel your pain, and in my mind, i wouldn't wait 6 months. I am going through the same as you -- only i had to go throguh fertility treatments for my first child also. I pray that you don't have to go through what I have in terms of fertility treatments, but I would certainly get a second opinion.
A.

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A.K.

answers from Chicago on

Hi L.,

I would get a second opinion also, just to put your mind at ease. My DH and I went to see Dr. Wood-Molo at Rush after a miscarriage and 9-mths of trying with Clomid. After various tests, I also had surgery and then tried IUI with Clomid and it worked on the 2nd try! I can't say enough great things about Dr. Wood-Molo :)

Once pregnant, I was also put on Prometrium as my progesterone levels were very low, and it could have been the issue with the first pregnancy.
I would also suggest accupuncture. If you are interested, I have a referral of someone that specializes in women's health issues including fertility. She was referred to me by Dr. Wood-Molo.
We used the ovulation kits, and I also charted my basal temperature each morning. We even had fertility candles and fertility figures in our bedroom - we were open to everything!! :)
Good luck - and don't give up!!! I am now 39 yrs old, and after our 3-yr "baby adventure" am the proud mother of a 9-wk old little boy :)

A.

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E.

answers from Chicago on

Dear L.,

It took me a long time to get pregnant the first time. I went to see a doctor on the recomendation of a friend of mine. He was the best doctor ever. He is very successful. He kept me sane, and was as aggressive as I needed him to be. Waiting 6 more months would not be acceptable to me.

My docs name is Dr. Aaron Lifchez he is at fertility centers of illinois in Oakbrook (there are other locations at well). Number is ###-###-####. This doctor also took into consideration that my insurance didn't pay for any of my treatments or medication.

One more piece of advice. Take a vacation from everything. Go somewhere with your husband (even if it is just a weekend at home or close by without your child). Relax, don't think about getting pregnant just focus on enjoying yourself, being a couple and feeling "normal" again. I know that when I was going through infertility, I was in crisis mode. I was so stressed, which made my husband stress. I was h*ll bent. It wasn't good for me, or my relationship with my husband, or our situation. It may be just what the doctor ordered.

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S.

answers from Chicago on

I have to agree with the others - there's no reason to wait another 6 months to start Clomid - get a 2nd opinion. I conceived easy with my first child (2 weeks after going off the pill for 2 years) and used Clomid to help with the 2nd. Your doctor has obviously gone through all testing with you - has your partner been tested as well? Once my physician knew that we were both "working with all cylinders" and had been trying for almost 2 years, we proceeded with the Clomid. My medical history is extrememly complicated and my physician was unwilling to "wait and see" any longer. Her name is Dr. Virginia Kelly out of TRE Medical in Downers Grove (office building attached to Good Sam Hospital).

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K.F.

answers from Chicago on

L. - I had to go through fertility treatments for my daughter and my current pregnancy. When we originally tried getting pregnant I feel I waited to long before seeing a fertility specialist. Six months is a long time to wait in see I would definitly see a specialist to get their opinion.

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J.M.

answers from Chicago on

L.,

I am sorry to hear about your fertility trouble and your frustration. I too have fertility problems so I understand what you are going through. If you have been trying for 3 years to get pregnant there is no reason to wait another 6 months before taking the Clomid. I would find a second opinion if I were you. I have wonderful OB/GYN in Libertyville and another in Kenosha, who were great treating my problems and thanks to them I have 2 wonderful and healthy children and one on the way.
If you need the doctors names please feel free to e-mail me.
____@____.com
Good Luck!
J. M

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi L.. My advice is the same as everyone else...get a second opinion. 3 years is a long time even if you did get pg once during that time. I would suggest seeing an RE...I went to Charles Miller in Arlington Heights/Naperville. They will do a testing month on you to see what they can come up with. Me, I got pg w/my first on the first try, 4 weeks after getting married. We started trying for number 2 right when he turned 1. Got pg on the first try again, but started miscarrying before I even knew I was for sure pregnant. 3 months later...another early m/c. I went in for testing and discovered I have a hormone imbalance...as well as something else I need to take baby aspirin for.

My point is, you just never know. I too am 35, but am now thankfully 8 months pregnant. Honestly, it wasn't all of what the doctor had done. I went through 3 months of fertility shots and never got pg. This time was a fluke w/being on Clomid because i was to start IVF the month after.

I've read several times that if you're 35 and older, you should seek treatment after 6 months of trying and not the usual year.

Good luck to you. It's such a stressful situation that noone can understand if they haven't gone through it!

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M.V.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi L.,

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. It took me 3 yrs of infertility treatments before I had my first child. My situation was different. Most of it turned out to be due to my hubby. He had to have surgery with a Urologist. I have a close friend that has a similar situation you are going through. She would get PG then not carry more than a couple wks. I believe it was due to low Progesterone level. I recommend to go to a Infertility Specialist if you havn't seen one yet. Also a very helpful book to check is Taking Charge of your Fertility.
Best of luck & hang in there-

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