HI L.,
First of all, my heart goes out to you. It is a difficult place to be, because everyone with primary infertility has an attitude of "well, at least you have one child" and everyone else says either "be patient" or "maybe you are done". I actually had someone tell me that my eggs were too old! To my face!! Ouch!
Anyway, I am 39 and I have 3 kids (13, almost 5 and 3) and I struggled with secondary infertility for about 18 months (I know, not that long...) I had 2 miscarriages in that time as well. I would HIGHLY recommend to you the book, "Taking Charge of your Fertility" It teaches you to chart your cycles and how you can REALLY be sure you are ovulating and when. It was a HUGE eye opener for me. Most people (and virtually every doctor) opperate on the assumption that women have a 28 day cycle and ovulate about day 14. NOT TRUE! I have about a 33/34 day cycle and I found out I ovulate about day 18/19. No wonder I wasn't getting pg. Also, after my 2nd miscarriage, I discovered I had a hormone imbalance (low progesterone), so I started on progesterone cream and in the 2nd cycle of that I successfully got pg, and as of yesterday, am at 20 weeks. I would also HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend the book "What Your Doctor May NOT Tell You About Premenopause-Balancing Your Hormones Between 30 and 50". Revolutionary. Between those 2 books, I am sure that is how I got pg. (aside from the obvious that it was God's timing). And forget sex every other day...that's a sure way to lose all romance! Been there as well...you need to know when you are fertile, and ovulation predictors can only tell you just so much..
I have gotten SO frustrated with the medical world over this. There are other things out there besides Clomid. I hope this information is helpful to you somehow. If you want to know more or just vent to someone who's been there, email me!
L.