Seek Moms on South Side of Chicago

Dear B.,

I began responding to your request and am not sure if you received my reply. I got distracted with a client and I believe my computer timed out.

I feel your pain. My son who will be 27-years old this September was diagnosed with ADHD by a University of Chicago specialist in the third grade and diagnosed by a school psychologist with LD/BD in his freshman year of high school. He won't admit that he has an illness and therefore, can't seem to get a grip on life.

My daughter, like your other son, is doing very well academically and professionally.

What would I do differently if given an opportunity?

1) Medication (ADHD/LD/BD/BiPolar - these are all diseases and must be treated as such).

2) Alternative Schooling (Instructors at alternative schools are trained to deal with students who have problem personalities).

3) Parenting Classes (These workshops pair you with other parents who are dealing with similar issues. Sometimes, to be able to hear how other parents resolved issues can be very helpful to you).

4) Employee Assistance Program (If you have an employee assistance program at your place of employment, let them know what's going on in your personal life. Once your situation is documented, you should not have to fear being terminated because you have an ill child).

5) Communicate with the other child - let your son who is doing well in school know about his brothers illness. Education your son and yourself on ADHD and other illnesses so that you are more prepared to deal with the day to day issues that arise (1 800 616-7684 ADHD Hotline).

Best wishes,

L.
Dolton, IL

I don't know what advice to offer you for your typically-developing kiddo, but hopefully one of the other mamas has a solution to share!

As far as your special-needs child is concerned, remember that he has a right to an appropriate education. If the teachers aren't fulfilling their end of the bargain - and shame on them if they don't - ask for another placement for your son. It's really important that he isn't punished for behavior that is a part of his condition. For example, my daughter is autistic, and in a special ed pre-K class. She has trouble with transitioning between activities, and sometimes she will sit down on the floor and scream because change can freak her out. Her instructors don't condone the inappropriate behavior, but they do try to communicate with her in a way she can understand. The autism itinerant in the classroom suggests the use of pictures, so that's what the teacher and the aides implement, and of course it helps relieve the behavioral problem. I know, as parents we really shouldn't have to take time away from our jobs and other family members to police the CPS; sadly, life on life's terms dictates that we do. I check at every report card period that my daughter is meeting her IEP goals; the few times she doesn't, I want to find out why. Just checking a box saying she isn't is not acceptable. If a change in her IEP needs to be made, then we'll go that route. If it's that she isn't getting the mandated amount of speech or OT or whatever's on her IEP, then I deal with that problem.

I don't mean to oversimplify this - as the parent of a special needs kiddo, I am well aware getting her an appropriate education is easier said than done. Hearing about bright, capable children being denied the quality of education to which they are entitled really grinds my gears, though. We are very lucky that most of the time my daughter's classroom environment is one in which students are both supported and challenged.

Best of luck to you and your family. Keep up the faith and the good work.

Dear B.,
I am a parent of two children, one is 4 and the other is 6. I understand your concerns and I will tell you to try ###-###-####. Make sure that when you choose a school setting for your child that you go and observe the school for an hour. Try to do some background research, I know it's hard, but you never know what you might find. Just hang in there and remain prayerful. Oh yes, make sure you call the Chicago Board of Education and them your situation and see if they have any suggestions. Call them at ###-###-####.

All the Best

Hi,

My name is Lauren I have a 13 soon-to-be 14 year old who is mentally retarded also with other complictions.

Pls contact me directly at ###-###-#### or ____@____.com.

Sincerely,

Lauren

Hi B. L,
My daughter attends a wonderful school, it's Chicago Virtual Charter School. Most of the work is done at home with the help of a parent or guardian as the learning coach. One day a week the students attend the learning center, with state certified teachers. This will be the school's third year. My daughter has attended since day one. She'll be attending this year as well.
It maybe something you want to give a try. They do offer IEP help as well. The website is www.chicagovcs.org

Carolyn B

I wish i had the knowledge to help this mom, but i would not know where to begin, but- iwish someone with helpful knowledge would give her some help. She sound she is struggling so hard to do the right thing.

Hi
I believe there is a school for kids with learning disabilites in Mt Greenwood. You can go through the Chicago Public School's website I'm sure. Its either in Mt Greenwood or Beverly I think. I don't know much about it but pretty sure I've heard moms talking about it. Sorry I can't be more descriptive, good luck!