Seeking Advice for Helping My Three-week-old Sleep at Night

Updated on June 04, 2009
A.S. asks from Northfield, MN
18 answers

My baby will be three weeks old tomorrow. I'm breastfeeding almost exclusively; my husband has been giving him a bottle of formula at night though. He has been sleeping after his bottle from 10 until 1 or 2. After that, however, he won't sleep for more than an hour after I nurse him. Any ideas?

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C.K.

answers from Madison on

Look into swaddling him really tightly. I never did this with my now 7-month-old, and wish I had. Many others swear by it. I even bought a blanket calld the Miracle Blanket to try it, but he was already 4 months old by that point, and that is when many babies reject swaddling. The blanket seemed really cool though.

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T.F.

answers from Rochester on

This is all normal and we all would like our little ones to sleep longer. I have to comment on the person who said to switch your little one to formula for proper nutrition, they do not know what they are talking about. Breastmilk is the best nutrition, hands down and the best thing you can do for you baby, now and for the long term benefits. I had problems with my little one waking up every hour and my midwife gave me some great advice. She told me to make sure that he was swaddled really tight so that his hands couldn't get out, because a lot of times they startle themselves awake. It was a godsend. He only woke two times to eat the very night I did that. Also, she told me to have him in bed with me and try to nurse him laying down. Good luck and don't expect your little one to sleep for long periods yet. They are growing and hungry.

2 moms found this helpful

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

The formula is alot harder to digest, so his body is waking from working to digest it, he's probably gassy, and he's having a hard time getting comfortable because of it.

Stop the formula bottle at night, and cluster feed from around 7pm until bedtime on one breast only. at bedtime, nurse the opposite breast and let him fall asleep nursing as long as he wants.

EDITED because Tammy's response angered me! Your milk is just fine mama, I would put money on the fact that its the FORMULA causing him to wake when its not being properly digested, causing him some tummy problems and that will cause him to toss and turn like that. Cluster feeding at bedtime will help, as will making sure that if he wakes in the middle of the night, to make sure he EATS nad not just sucks a little and falls back asleep... make sure he actually nurses a full feed if he wakes up at 2am or 3am. And remember he's only 3wks old, he's still adjusting to his new world and needs his mama to answer his cues. I know its hard, trust me I do know. It will pass, he will be sleeping longer soon. Just try to rest when he does, get rid of the formula for now and nurse him only until he's better adjusted to his new world.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Milwaukee on

Babies that are breastfed eat more often, but it is the best thing for them. That does NOT mean that they are getting more nutrition from formula. The protein in formula is harder for babies to digest, so it takes them longer to eat again. 3-week-old babies typically do not sleep long periods at night. All 3 of my kids ate every 1-2 hours at night for quite a while. Be patient and just know that he is growing and maybe just needs some comfort from you too. My son slept so much better and for longer periods when he was in bed with me, than when he was in his bassinet. Just a thought (as long as you are cosleeping safely). Babies are so used to being SO close to you for 9 months that it is a big adjustment to be separated from you, which is why they also like to be held so much. Cuddle him and feed him when he needs it...just know that it will get easier. I try to remind myself at times too that when they older and don't want us around all the time, that I will wish for these times back. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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R.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

hi allison,
i know it's a little too early to start, but we did 'beginning babywise' with our second child and it was a life saver! our little guy was sleeping for long stretches at night by 6 weeks!! i did make sure he was getting enough to eat during the day- waking him up every 3 hours- as well as making sure when i fed him at night that i kept the lights low and didn't do anything to stimulate him. good luck!! and remember - it gets better :)

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S.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

Read "The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg!!! My son had the same issue and wouldn't sleep more than an hour at the most. It lasted nearly 4 months and this book saved my life!

Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

This is why new mothers are tired because most newborns dont sleep for longer than 1-2 hours at a shot at night especially while nursing. Enjoy the 1 hour at a time and it will get better as he gets older.

Welcome to motherhood, you will never sleep the same again!

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A.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Is he really eating when he nurses at night or just sucking a bit and falling back to sleep? It could be that his tummy isn't full enough when he falls back to sleep, so he wakes from hunger shortly thereafter. If this is the case, try waking him more at that first nighttime nursing session so he really eats and doesn't just suck for comfort.

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

hate to say it mom but this is par for the course. this is normal. babies dont get into a rhythm or schedule. they are hungry when they are hungry, wet when wet, tired when tired (which until around 3 months old is all the time)

just keep plugging away. never make an infant cry it out, unless you are at your wits end and afraid of hurting baby. if someone else is there to take baby for you, do it and take a walk. but habitual crying it out breaks down trust, so steer clear of that..

just do what you can. babies grow a lot in the first year nad they need to eat a lot. they also only have tummies the size of their fist, so it fills and empties fast! its great that your hubby will give a bottle at night and though im a strong breastfeeding supporter, if you get better rest when hubby does one bottle for formula, thats great!

contact a local or nearby la leche league. they will give you the mom support you desperatly need! :D also it might give you a break to just talk to other moms and get out of the house you know?

good luck.
one place i REALLY trust (besides la leche league) is www.askdrsears.com.
awesome info on there! :D
sleep might never be the same, but life is so much more wonderful with a baby in it.

if you feel afraid of hurting your baby, if you feel angry or upset all the time, dont hesitate to seek the help of your doctor. postpartum depression is common and you can only get help if you ask for it. :D
good luck, and simply follow your instincts! :D

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J.R.

answers from Davenport on

At three weeks, in my experience, you should be very amazed/greatful to be getting a 3-4 stretch at all! My two still woke every 1.5 to two hours at that point, whether we gave them formula or not. My now 2.5 year old woke every 2 hours till 4months, and then finally did a 4 hour stretch at the beginning of the night, and my 3 months old finally does a 3 and then a 4 hour sstretch , but after that is it still every 2 hours or less.

Only real solution I know of is just feeding them when they are hungry and being patient , as they will grow into longer sleep periods.

Like another said, leeping lights low while nursing, and swaddling your baby tightly will help them to sleep/stay sleepy and not get fully awake/stilmualed during the times they are awake in the night.

There are two good book I reccommend to help you learn about babies and sleep and what is normal and what isn't: "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weisbluth, and "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp....check your local library, and if they don't have them ask them if they will do an interlibrary loan for you.

Good luck - sounds like you have the beginnings of a very good sleeper so far!

Jessie

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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

A couple of things to try:

1. Try keeping him up for a few hours straight before you want him to go to bed. So if you're aiming for 10:00 bedtime, try to keep him up from around 7 - 7:30 until 10:00. Do baths, massages wtih lotion, getting the baby naked (with diaper of course:)), anything to keep him awake.
2. In order to sleep longer, he'll need to eat more often during the day. Babies need to eat 8 times a day at that age so 8x2 = 16 hours worth of eating every 2 hours, which should yield 8 hours of sleeping. So feed him every 2 hours duing the day. You may have to wake him up to do that but it will help him sleep longer at night. Keep up with it as it may take him a few days to get used to it (and for you as this can be grueling but worth it if you can get him to understand that he eats during the day and sleeps at night).
3. Babies that age have a startle reflex which may wake them up. Invest in a swaddler blanket with velcro that will wrap him up tight to reduce the startling that may be waking him up. Make sure he's not too warm in there through. During the summer months, I would usually just do a swaddler blanket with no clothes on underneath.

Good luck and congrats on your new baby!!

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R.N.

answers from St. Cloud on

Sounds like your baby needs to stay awake a little more during the day. So in the evenings keep him awake any way you can... undress him.... run a wet wash cloth over him... tickle him... play with him ect. Then he should be tired enough to sleep after nursing him some.

You should only have to do this a few days before he keeps the schedule on his own.

Good luck
R.- mother to 5

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

Breast fed babies need to eat more often anyway, so it could be that your milk isn't as filling and/or he's too tired to fill up since he has to work harder for it.

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R.S.

answers from Des Moines on

What is he doing instead of sleeping? Is he uncomfortable or is he just alert and awake? If he is just alert I don't have a lot of ideas other than keeping the room where he is quiet and dark and just continually encouraging sleep until he catches on, which he surely will.

But if he is uncomfortable I will say that we just started to get our 10-month-old to sleep peacefully at night for the first time ever using cranial-sacral therapy. It is an amazing thing that nearly every single baby could benefit from on some level. But some really need it--ours did. Any unexplainable discomfort in a baby probably points to the need to adjust the cranium. I'd would really suggest that you check into it.

I don't know how far you are from the twin cities, but I found a neat lady there who does it. She is Angel at ###-###-####.

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T.W.

answers from Sheboygan on

Sounds to me like your baby is hungry and not getting enough from breast milk. Might be time to think about switching to formula all the time so the baby is getting proper nutrition. Good Luck!

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H.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

A.-
Have you considered co-sleeping? I resisted it with my first 4 babies and finally bought a co-sleeper with our 5th baby...loved it! I have since loaned it to 2 friends and they all love it too! There are many benefits of co-sleeping (just google it) but I worried about having baby in bed with me and the eventual transistion to her crib. That is why I went the co-sleeper route. It sets right next to your bed and when baby wakes up in the middle of the night, lean over and pick her up. Then nurse her until she's asleep again and place her back into the sleeper. There is no getting out of bed (unless of course the reason she woke was her diaper!) and you will be much better rested in the morning. I worried about my husband not sleeping well, but he popped in some ear plugs and didn't hear a thing.
We are expecting baby #6 in October and I will be setting the co-sleeper next to my bed again. Know that this time of sleepless nights will (eventually) come to an end. Try your best to enjoy it - your baby needs you right now...sleep will come later!
God Bless!
H. :-)
PS Stick with the breastfeeding as long as you can. Don't feel pressured into transistioning to formula (or for that matter, introducing solids early) My experience is that it doesn't work. Do your research and trust your gut - God gave us all mothering instincts and we need to use them.

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A.D.

answers from Davenport on

My son is 3 1/2 months old and exclusively breastfed. The only way for me to get a good night's sleep is to co-sleep. I also did this with my daughter who is 3 yrs old. Not only do I get more sleep, I never have to leave my bed and we get extra bonding/cuddling time at night since I work during the day. Just do it safely and remember that all babies have different sleep habits and 3 weeks is VERY young. You should be proud that he will sleep for 3-4 hours at a time at the beginning. Also, I would quit the formula- there is no need for it. (The poster who said to switch to formula for proper nutrition doesn't have a clue.) Try pumping if your husband wants to give him a bottle. Make sure that when your baby wakes up to nurse in the night that he gets a full belly and clean diaper before falling back to sleep, that will help him sleep longer.

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

No major advice, just letting you know that you are not alone and that doesn't sound abnormal for a three week old. From about three to seven weeks is a very fussy age. My babies nursed every 90 minutes and I didn't get a 3-4 hour stretch until they were about 4 months old. Do you have a pump? When your husband gives him the bottle can he give him breastmilk? Can you nap during the day when he naps? That's what I tried to do. Do you have a friend, neighbor or relative who can help you out during the day? It's exhausting now, but you'll look back on it as a very brief time in your lives. Good luck.

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