Seeking Advice for My Fiance

This is perfectly normal for any young child. They want to do what they see mommy and daddy (or grandma and grandpa) doing. My son wants lotion and lip gloss when hes with me and deodorant and nothing else when hes with my husband. They are just experimenting with things they see. Its a phase he will grow out of it.

It is absolutely, 100%, completely normal! :o) It is also normal if he plays with kitchens, cleaning supplies, and baby dolls! I have a 5 yr old son and the reason it is normal is that he is way too young to even know what make up, or even know that all these things are for girls! Take it from me, my son was about 3 1/2 to 4 yrs old when he started saying, "that is for girls!" He is too young to know what is "right and wrong". He played with "paint" or "crayons", for all he knows.....there was color and he got to play and make a mess. He probably saw his grandma putting her make up on and wanted to get into the bag himself and he saw where she put it so he copied. Now, if he is 5 and STILL doing this.....then....maybe he should worry. :o) Playing with colors builds his creativity and playing with baby dolls builds his sensitivity and caring side. Playing with kitchens makes him wonderful! My husband cooks us dinner every single night, he enjoys it and I enjoy letting him.
No worries.
W. M

Ok Daddy, this is normal! He sees all the woman putting makeup on and just wants to see what the fuss is all about! I wouldn't worry at this age, just remind him Make up is for girls like Mommy and Gigi!

your son does not understand that makeup is for girls, all he knows is that you and grandma get to use this really fun paint, on your face. he loves you more than any one in the world because you are his mommy, and he wants to do what you do. my son just turned one, and he loves to play with the barbies. not because he wants to be a girl, but because he wants to do all of the things that his big sister does.

Of course this is normal! He watches EVERYTHING his mommy and daddy dose - and he pretends and mimics. He probably has mimicked his daddy and you in other ways - cleaning, reading books, maybe even phrases you uses.

I read through the other responses, and agree, it's totally normal and kids imitate what they see.

So, how about a flip side for explaining it to dad? My daughter loves to watch granddaddy shave. If I found her with shaving cream on her face and a spoon scraping it off, would I freak out about the "male" behavior? Of course not. It's just imitation. I'm guessing that he would happily dab shaving cream on a little girl while he was shaving. :)

Hello, I also have a 2 1/2 year old, a daughter and this is the age where they are learning everything they can do. The biggest thing at this age is they will imitate absolutely anything they see a caregiver do, so if he ever saw you or your step mother apply makeup he would probably be really curious to try to do that too. Children of that age don't distiguish between gender roles yet so assure your fiancee your son only wants to put makeup on because a) he is really proud of being able to do what mommy does and b) REALLY loves anything that is colorful and makes a mess!

L.,

Being a mother of a normal girl loving boy who is now 19 yrs old I can tell you from experience at your son's age (2 1/2) it is normal.
Some even put on jewelry etc... he only playing I am sure by all means.
I even remember way back when Z, my now 19 yr old son used to tell me he is going to marry me. LOL

This kinda of behavior at this age DOESN'T MEAN he is having an IDENTITY CRISIS.

I remember my nephews who were at my MIL's House putting on her big beaded costume jewelry.. and other nephews putting scarves on their heads... no biggie... Children outgrow things... honestly I can speak from experience.

Your Fiance, needs to be sensitive and not react to your son as that can be a negative impact on him even at this tender young age. He may feel rejected and not measure up to Daddy's expectations... something that can begin to be deep rooted even at the age of 2 1/2.

So just embrace, laugh and enjoy the moment, take some pics and when he is older it will be a laughing joke. ;)

All the other responses before mine have hit the nail on the head...
By the way, I am also a parent to a 5 yr old little girl and that little boy I was referring to is now 19 yrs old.

Of course it's normal. In fact, had they reacted quickly you could have made money sending in a video on "funniest home video's".....apparently they've never tuned in, or they would have seen other "perfectly normal" home video's of little one's with exactly the same thing. Our 17 year old grandson,football playing jock, with a steady girlfriend had done the same thing several times, in fact he liked to put on our high heels and play with our make up when he was very young like your son. We thought then, so what? I just hope and pray that your son's father or his gigi and grampa didn't react badly. Make up is fun, colorful and wonderful to play in...either boy or girls like to mess around with doing what their mom's and gigi's do. Last I heard, it doesn't interfer with testosteroine levels in children. Good luck L., and just please tell them to get over themselves! Tell your Dad and GiGi that Milton Bearl didn't have trouble making a big living doing exactly what your son did....and laugh!

Curiousity kills the cat (& the little boy) figuratively speaking of course. I guarantee that if you ask your fiance's mom, dad, grandma, whoever that he did something very similar to this at this age. My son is 8 now but he was the most curious little being on the planet at age 2 and it's a wonder he lived through it.

A 2 year old, boy or not, does not know that makeup is a "girl thing". He's just learned it from watching his mommy. It is absolutely ridiculous to look at the situation in any other light at this age.

It is more than okay, and it's completely normal. My son is a little over 3 now but I assure you a year ago he would watch me put on my makeup and want to do it too. We just thought it was funny. Mascara was his favorite!! He would try and put it on his eyes or take it and write on the walls. Or if I was getting ready he would tell me it was is turn and I would have to "do" his makeup too:)Like I said we thought it was funny and took pictures.

He may be a boy but he doesn't understand a bit of a difference between girl things and boy things. Kids are giant sponges, the imatate things they see and hear. The same concept of watch what you say or he'll say it too. I would try pointing out things that your son does that imatates his father. Or times hes walked over and sat next to him on the couch and made a face as if saying "look I can do it too".

it is so normal my little boy has played in makeup a few times tell him IT MEANS NOTHING just a normal boy checking things out

He needs to stop flipping out, this is normal, the bigger deal you make of it the bigger the issue becomes. Pull up some postive info. on this and let him read it! I have a 2
1/2 year old and loves to explore and touch things he shouldn't , only natural curiosity!

My goodness, a child is a child. It reallly don't matter when they are little, even a little girl tries to do things Daddy does. What does that mean? I have three grown sons and nothing wrong with any of them and they even pretended to run makeup and beauty shop when they where little. My middle son even got a baby doll that drank and peed. The Dr. told me they would make good Dad's, which is beginning to be true! I think the parents need to grow up. Thats whats wrong with kids today, they won't let kids play and be kids, they want them to be grown and sit infront of computors or TV's. Give kids time to grow up, and quit being so stupid about everything they do. They are only experinceing life and the things around them, that they have seen the grown ups (in their small lives) doing. Remember... everything to a child is brand new and they are seeing and doing it for the very first time. Its up to the parents to show and teach them the difference. So, maybe the Dad needs to spend sometime with him!

That's just normal for a child his age. StepMom should have taken pictures, tho, so you could bribe him when he's a teenager! lol

It is TOTALLY normal! It is make believe and that is a blast, whether you are a boy or girl. Further, if your fiance continues to make an issue out of it, your son will only want to do it more. Like it or not, our kids want attention however they can get it- even the bad kind. So I would really tell him to chill on the issue.
Another thing that would worry me though is how accepting your fiance is. Would he really be upset if your children grew up to be different? Perhaps you need to talk to him about acceptance no matter what and get that out of the way now. Not trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill, but it does raise the issue.

Why are you in the middle of a nervous breakdown...that seems more important?

It is perfectly normal...what fun, crayons and play for the face, messes too are quite fun.

J.

Hey L.

Tell your finance to get a grip on reality and hang on tight.
All kids both boys and girls will get into makeup. They are
just doing what they see mommy doing and at 4 1/2 little boys don't know that girls wear makeup. All he sees is the color.
Besides it worked for KISS for forever! Your son is just being a kid! Enjoy it they don't stay little forever.

B.

A little about me: I'm a single mother of two awesome kids
a boy 21 and a girl 16. I work as a paralegal.

all little ones watch mommy when shes putting on make up and at that age they dont realize that only mommys and girls wear make up.all children normally experiment if given the oppertunity and as they grow and learn steriotypes they loose interest.I personally dont see a issue now if he were 8 or 9 and doing that I would be more conserned and explain to him that it is for mommy and he needs to leave it alone.I really wouldnt worrie about this.good luck as you explain that this is normal and I hope you get well soon.I do hope your taking care of yourself becouse that is very importen for you and your son and your fiance needs to be supportive not stressing over little things that wont matter in ten years.may be he needs a book on development to read so he isnt flipping out or a subscription to parents magizine to formilurize him self in whats normal.

Hi L., Are you thinking he's flipping out because he was being so mischievous or because he's a little boy and he got into "women's" makeup and put it on? Actually, both are pretty normal for a two year old...girl or boy. I have two little boys and they've gotten into everything in this house from tupperware to toilet paper. Nothing went untouched when they were smaller. One day they might have had daddy's shoes on the next day they might have been in my bathing suit! They LOVED prancing around in my high heels!! Please let your fiance know that this is a phase...my boys are 8 and 10 now and ALL BOY, for sure! For his safety though, you might want to keep cosmetics and toiletries in a secure place. Kids love things like this especially lotions and liquids. Suncreen and mouthwash could be poisonous to a child. Sounds like you have a normal, rambunctious child...enjoy every second because they grow up way too fast and you'll be looking back on these days with tears in your eyes. Fondly, K. S.

Hahahahahahahaha! Did they get pictures? Yes, this is normal. He's just imitating what he sees.

Yes, it is totally normal. But the more important issue is, what are you doing to help yourself with your nervous breakdown? And what is your fiance doing to help? Is he the father of your son? Please get whatever help you need, for your sake and your son's sake!

it's absolutely normal!!! it might end up costing a bit, especially for bare minerals, but he's just being curious. my son, who's 9 now and will probably be mad for posting this for the world to see, got into my make-up when he was 2 on an almost daily basis. if he's ever seen you, or his gigi, put make-up on before, than he's just copying. trust me, it's nothing to be concerned about. you might just need to start putting stuff up, because i guarantee it won't be the last time the little guy gets curious:) hope this helps! have a great day!!!

Completely normal. Nothing to worry about. All men have trouble with their little boys doing things that they see as girly, your son will be fine tell his dad to take a chill pill. I have two grown son's, both military, and they are fine. These tease their dad that they can wear pink if they want, because they are big ole boys, and are not worried about their sexuality. haha Kris

Hi I think he is just fine he is doing what he has seen his mommy do. My son used to love to watch me get ready and look at all my make up. He would play with brushes any thing he could find while I was getting ready. He was just being a kid playing. My son is now almost 5 and let me tell you he is all BOY. Kids do what their parents do......Have a great day

OMGolly, of course it is normal!!!! He lives with one parent - a woman - and he is just copying what he's seen you do. That's what 3 year ols do. DON'T WORRY & Tell your fiance to calm down. ... If he makes this into a big deal, it could become a big deal. ... If it just passes, it will just pass. :0)

I am a mom of 4- 9,7,3 and 18 months old with another due in July. If it is the sneaky behavior you are concerned about, this, based on my experience, is absolutely normal. My 3 yo got into a tub of Vaseline the other day and greased herself from head (yes- hair too) to toe with it and then proceded to use it to make handprints on our walls, put it inside our XBOX, on the TV and various other places. (This was in conjuction with her 3 yo cousin, whom according to her actually got the Vaseline down in the first place.)

L.- mommy of five

This is completely normal. I have 2 sons and they both went through this. When my oldest was 2, he would watch me put on my make up every morning and constantly ask to do it too. I would let him play with the powder and once he even had me paint his toes. He is now 5 and has no desire to even watch me put it on anymore. It's just a phase. My youngest is 2 1/2 and now it's his turn. He would love it if he could get into my make up bag without me seeing! They also love to dress up in high heels and carry a purse. When we go over to my brother-in-law's house, who has 2 girls, all of the boys fight over dressing up with their stuff and playing with the baby dolls.

haha that s so cute. its totally normal he sees you putting all that on or ghis gigi and thinks its normal hes a little guy nothing to freak over tell dad to take a chill pill. a boy i used to baby sit loved playing with dolls his dad freaked over that!! i told him its not a big deal it just means hes going to be a loving adult who wouldnt want that??? good luck!

It is TOTALLY normal! Kids are curious creative beings! They love to mimic what they see. My son plays with my make all the time (if I don't hide it well enough). he says "can I put on eyebrows like mommy?"...Rest assured, although they may make a mess or ruin our make up - the curiosity factor is just part of their developing imaginations!!

It's absolutely normal. Tell your fiance to think of the make-up as finger paint because that is what your son probably thought it was. He also was just mimicking what he has seen you and your step-mother do...put the fingerpaint on your face. It is NOT an indication of future tendencies!!!!

I think the operative word here is 2 1/2 and the word mischief and curiosity.....my goodness this is still a little guy here, a baby. Even if his worst nightmare comes true and this precious soul ends up a gay boy....embrace him, love him, and know he is not alone in the world...there are so many other things to worry about....my niece has stage three brain cancer and lives in a world now of afflicted brain impacted children from 6 months to 18 years old....being gay is not an illness, it's just who someone is, just like being straight is who someone is....however i believe you all are jumping the gun a bit. I have a nephew that loved to have his three sisters dress him up when he was a toddler and he is now a strapping surfer, successful professional in the pharmacy field and well liked by many, many people...did he turn out gay? The question for you as parents is: Does it really matter? LOVE HIM, that's what it's all about...raise a healthy happy child and he will evolve into whatever he is meant to be....

L.,

Tell daddy to take a chill pill. Every child gets into anything that they can smear on themselves. If he had gotten some dog poop he probably would have tried smearing that on himself too. (I have a grandson who did that at 2.)

Your son has no idea of what he has gotten into, he is too young to know. It has no meaning except that he is a very curious boy. Which in some ways can be a good thing, however, it could also get him hurt. Keep an eye on him.

E.

At age 2 and a 1/2 little kids are into EVERYTHING. Tell your son's father to relax and be glad that he didn't get into something under the sink in the kitchen that could have killed him or into something that required a trip to the ER. At age 2 1/2 my oldest son took the telephone apart and took the end of the antenna off and swallowed it. We had to take him to the ER and do X-rays and then check dirty diapers for two days to make sure it passed through his system and didn't cause a blockage. At that age my second son and my daughter both swallowed quarters and had to have an ER visit and the diaper check too. My daughter got into Sharpie Markers and wrote all over her bedroom wall at that age. My youngest son got into makeup about a dozen times. I am grateful that he has outgrown that stage. Makeup is expensive to replace. Tell your son's father to relax. This is not going to be the only time that your son gets into things! :o)

L.,
It is normal for kids of that age to get into anything and put it all over themselves and the walls and whatever they can do, where ever they can do it, no matter what it is whether it be make up or crisco grease. It doesn't matter. Boys OR girls don't discriminate against make up or anything as far as the product is concerned. Tell the little boys dad to get a life! Gee!
More importantly is why are you having a nervous break down? Does it have anything to do with his dad? You are only 24 yrs old. My God girl, you should be a free spirit.
If it has anything to do with this man, the child's dad, you need to rethink this because you don't need to be going through this. Your little boy dumping makeup and smearing on his face the first thing he got his hands on is the least of my/yours/finance's worries.
Listen, I have had a few break downs in my day due to an abusive man in an abusive relationship. If that is the case, write me. I think that I can help. But let me reassure you..... YOUR LITTLE BOY IS NORMAL!

L.,
You're right! It's perfectly normal for 'children' which means boys or girls to get into mom's or dad's stuff and emulate what they see you do regularly. That's how they learn to walk, talk, eat and all other kinds of things--by following your examples. I understand why your man is concerned, but it's nothing to worry about at all. Hopefully, he can unwind a little bit and see the humor in it one day soon! God bless.

HA! That must have been a sight. Look the boy is 2.5 yrs old, he has no idea what he is doing. He's mimicking what he sees. If he saw mommy stand on her head everyday, he would do that too. I have an almost 3 yr old, he loves to be in my makeup, so I gave him a unused brush and said, here paint your face. He'll mess around with it for 3 minutes and off he goes. I do say, makeup is only for mommies BUT there is little point in driving home the fact that he is not a girl he is a boy and therefore should grunt and fart! My son even picked out a girl, blond, blue eyed doll for himself and takes the thing everywhere, he even named her Kate. Yes, daddy and pappa had to get over it, of course they want him to fish and play trucks, but he does that too. In the long run, you and your family are here to raise a well rounded, understanding, honest little man, so what if he paints his face. Maybe your dad is afraid he's going to be gay (there I said it). Educate him and let him know that just can't happen. Little boys and girls are just little, they do what they see. My son and daughter, 3 and 1, do all kinds of play, and its just that play, experimentation. Have your dad come to my house and meet "Kate" and my son, they are as normal as apple pie, doing little kid things. Tell your dad to take him fishing, show him something that he considers "normal" to do. Whew! Didn't mean to go on and on! Good luck!

.

Absolutly it is normal. I have a 3 year old boy that loves the color pink. He loves to put on chapstick, and is always begging me to put my lip gloss on. He also loves to watch cheerleaders and cheer. He has two older sisters, so he is around girl stuff constantly. But he also loves to dress up like pirates, and play with trucks, dirt and rocks.
At this age everyhting is just a really neat discovery for them. They are not worried, nor do they know what people view as "for a girl or for a boy". We start teaching them this now, but my 3 year old still does not get it sometimes. My husband of coarse does not like him wanting to put lipgloss on and to see that he loves to cheer, but really that is something that he needs to learn about, that children at this age are just curiouse about everything. Of coarse he is going to like lip gloss, it taste good!
So just let his Dad know that to your son it is just a discovery. He has no clue that only woman wear make-up. He was just smart enough to know that you put it on your face. I hope you took a picture!

This is so completely normal. Kids are just being kids and he found something fun to play with. He saw his mom putting on makeup and he is just mimicking her. they have no concept at this age what is for girls and what is for boys. My son who is 18 mo. old will put on his older sisters and my shoes and where them around the house because it's fun. It means absolutely nothing. Tell them to relax and let him enjoy being a kid.