Seeking Advice from Working Mommas

I'd take the 3 12's. Then you get to have one day to kind of "recoup" with the kids and then 3 days to do fun stuff with them! If you do the 5 day week then you get one day to recoup and one day to do fun stuff. Good luck!

I think that if you are going to have in-home care for the girls - nanny, friend, etc then do the 3 long days. If they are going to need to be in a center (which is not a bad thing - my kids have thrived in a big center) I would do 5 shorter days. I only think that because at home, the kids are still really allowed to have their own pace, so even though they're away from you for longer, it's not a "longer" day, if that makes sense. A daycare center is much more structured and has much more stimulation, so 12 hours at a daycare center is a looong day, in addition to being away from you.

No matter what you decide, children are incredibly adaptable and they will thrive. Also remember that nothing is permanent; you'll make the best choice that you can, and if it doesn't work, you'll change it.

I would work the other way around--look into find the right childcare situation for you and that may actually "decide" for you. I would personally take the 3 long days and have more days off, but that's just me. Is there a childcare facilitate for the hospital? Sometimes they are good about accommodating nursing schedules. Good luck--give it sometime, but once everything is up and running you'll probably feel much better about things!

Can your husband have the kids on your 12 hr shift days? This would allow you to work and rest and then have the kids uninterrupted for the other days.

Would you be opposed to working nights? My college roommate works 3, 12 hour days from 7P-7A and loves it. She says it is normally fairly calm, and then she has plenty of days off. You would still need to hire someone to watch the kids so you could get some sleep, but you may be able to work those nights around times when they could be at their dad's house too! Not knowing what your custody agreement will be like makes it more difficult, but if he is going to have them on weekends anyway, why don't you work Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights or even just Friday, Saturday, and Sunday? No one wants to work the weekends, so they usually pay more then, and then you could have your kids all week long! Just something to think about?

I currently work a normal M-F 8 hour day. I used to work 4 10's and I'm looking to go back to that schedule now. My days would rotate off, except for Wednesday. So one week a Monday off, next Tuesday, then Thursday, then Friday. So every month I was getting a four day weekend. That in and of itself was worth it, as I could go visit family on those weekends. The best thing for me was having a day during the week off. I could schedule doctor's appointments, house maintenance repairs, etc during the week and not have to take off. I have been waiting to get one of my bathrooms fixed because I'll have to take a day off to get it done. It was also nice to have that extra day off to do things with my son without having the crowds of the weekend, such as the zoo, aquarium, etc. Once my son goes to school, I'll go back to a 5 day a week schedule since he will be going to school every day. 4 10 hour days has worked well for my son since he gets that extra day with me and it's one less day I have to drop him off, drive to work, and then pick him back up to go home again.

With 2 kids you could probably find a nanny for the same cost as daycare. If you find a nanny that could work around your hours it might help you out with the job search

my first choice would be the day job obviously. and my second choice would be the 4 tens and then the 3 12s. reason why the 3 12s would be my last choice is by the time you work a 12 get the kids bathed and fed and do the dishes you will get less than 8 hrs worth of sleep when i did it my kid was a teenager and i couldnt keep up with the house but i was working 7 12s and running on pure exastion. now if you have to take the 3 12s buy heat and eats for those 3 days paper cups plates and forks and just throw it away and the house is clean again.

My MIL is a nurse. She has MANY nurse friends that watch each others children while the other is at work and vice versa. There's lots of nurse mommies. This can possibly work for you IF you don't mind watching someone else's children for free (while you are getting free child care your self)...

It's hard to find good, part-time daycare. 5 day a week care is much easier to handle. And really, I bet after your 3 yearold adjusts, she will like being with her new friends and going to "school". Hang in there, mama!

I'd take the 4 10's, I used to love that shift since it always gave me a 3 day wknd.

personal opinion, if you find a daycare that will take your kids for that long, I would do the 3 day work week. Most daycares are only opne 6am to 6pm. My thought is if you are working, whats another couple hours? Then you can be home most of the week.

I think it might be easier if you have a longer week but shorter days. It will be difficult to find childcare for 12 hours (plus your commute time) unless it's family or you have an au pair or something. That's a long day for all of you. I also found that most daycares close between 5:30 and 6:30 PM, so you would either need a second sitter or to have a shorter shift. If you weren't doing this on your own, I might suggest the longer shifts, but I think you need some home time, too, especially while you all adjust.

I agree with Mommy B... The 3 and 4 days are tempting but like you said that's a lot of hours to be gone on one day. I'm not sure what to suggest b/c the 5 days is 8 or 9 hours so if it's 3 extra hours but 2 less days it could be worth it. My friend has 2 boys and goes to school only tuesday and thursday but she's there for 12 hours. I would be tempted to take the 3 days if Monday and friday were the days off b/c then you'd be consistent still and you'd have a 4 day weekend.

I agree with a nanny maybe or a reputable safe in-home daycare. My cousin has one and she works with cops and nurses around their schedules PLUS you only pay them for the days and times they are there.

Not sure what to tell u about the shifts but, many daycare's will negotiate on the price and the days you pay for. Good Luck

3 day shifts because that way if a child is sick it might happen on a day you do not have to go in. I work half m schedule at home by teaching online and that means I am on campus 2-3 days a week, depending on meeting times and committee work. This schedule really saves me when a kiddo is sick. I would work with your soon to be ex on having a schedule that will make it easy for one of you to take over childcare responsibilities when needed: illness, holidays and child care closures.

Good luck!

I agree I think that the 12 hour shifts may be a bit much. I think you are on the right track with a M-F 7-4 or maybe 4 10's. I am a working mom, although not a single mom because my husband works a lot of nights I often feel like one! I work 32 hours a week M-F and it's considered full time so I get benefits but I would consider working 4 10's (or even 8's) if I could!

Good luck in your search!

Can you move in with your mom so you can work when they are sleeping? The less they see of you, the worse it will be no matter how many hours you are away. My brother and sister-in-law had to move in with her mom when my brother lost his job. My brother found a low paying job during the week , so my sister-in-law works a couple nights during the week and then weekends. It's hard but it's been a lot better for them to always have one of them with the kids. Can you take weekend shifts so your husband can watch the kids then? It would be great if they could be with one of you.

I work full time. I would love if I could work 3 - 12 hr days so I could spend more time with my children.

Also, you pay monthly to a day care but it is based on the schedule you set up with the day care. You should be able to find a place that will only charge you for 3 days a week for 12 hours. You might need to check with other nurses. I am not sure how many day cares stay open past 6 pm.

To start out with until you have the childcare set up, I would do the 5 day week. Once you get the hang of things or find another method of childcare you can change to the 3 or 4 day week. As the kids get older you will probably want to do that so that you have more quality time together & for traveling & excursions.

I know it would be hard but I myself would take the 3 day shift. At least then you will be home the rest of the wk. with the children. Especially going through a divorce, they dont' understand and at least you will be with them the rest of the week. Yes most daycares' charge whether you are there or not. If you are working 12hr.shifts perhaps your soon to be ex could pick them up say at 5pm or 6pm. This way you are paying for a full day and not the extra. If this could be arranged it would be so much easier, this would allow him quality time as well as yourself being there 4 days out of 7. Even though children are young they will still act out knowing something isn't right in the home. They are going to want your divided attention. I wish you luck and I wish you well. When your ex takes them for a wknd. at least this will allow you time to get caught up with your home as well as some "me" time which is going to be needed. Hopefully your ex can pick the children up at the time I mentioned. Its hard to get a daycare to do 12hr. shifts unless its private. Sometimes' private gives' the children the quality time they need together rather than in an environment with many children. Something to think about. Again, good luck!!

i agree, the m-f schedule would be a lot easier on childcare. for that reason alone (and preschool, and school, later on) i would stick to the traditional shift if i possibly could. good luck, i hope you get it all worked out.

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some daycares do offer part time, the one I'm looking at does, although the one we're currently at does not. I personally like a regular 5 day week for the consistency.

I am a single mom and i do have the help from my parents and his dad which does help. I used to work 4 10's (Mon-Thur 6:30 - 5:00) but i always had to rely on someone to take my son to day care. I now work 5 8's (mon-fri 7:30-4) and it is so much better on me and him. It is very stressful when you have to make arrangments for someone else to drop off and pick up and if they dont show up on time and so on. Also, i have really enjoyed being able to take him to school. Its tough no matter what so you have to make it as easy on yourself as possible. Good luck!

Well, I like having a 3 day a week schedule (although I am married and so DH takes DD to daycare on the 3 days I work). My youngest is 9 months, and I like spending the extra time with her. But, as she gets older, I picture moving to a 5-day a week schedule. I hope that helps. And I wish for you (and pray for you) the best of luck :) And, BTW, I have always heard a nurse's schedule is awesome for a family :)

Both of my sisters are nurses, my friend is a pharmacist and they all worked 2, 3 or 4 days each week of very long hours - 12 -16 hr shifts. I work 5 days a week - from 9 - 2. While it's nice to have a short day and get home early, I also have to add travel time to and from work for 5 days and the getting ready for work and unwinding time for 5 days too. So I have 5 hours of travel time a week, plus another 5 hours of getting-ready-time each week instead of 3 and 3 if I was working 3 days a week. that's 6 vs 10 additinoal hours a week that's not paid - but is travel or preparation for work. From what I'm told the long days can be exhausting.

There are daycare providers that will accept an irregular schedule - my husband is in the NYPD and had a wierd schedule when he was a regular cop - we used 2 different centers over our kids' preschool years that worked around our schedule and we only paid for the days they were there -as long as we gave them the schedule a couple of weeks in advance. Once you begin working check with the other staff - there may even be a place near the hospital that works around the odd schedules.

Finally - it's wonderful at this age to have the days to stay home with them and color, build forts with couch cushions, walk to the park, etc. It's not as good as being a SAHM - but it's the next best thing. I'd definitely go for the 12 hr / 3 day schedule if you can get it. Get your soon-to-be-ex to pick up the kids or take them on weekend days while you're working, or family members to help - most will be more than happy to pitch in if they can.

This parenting stuff is not easy - and each age brings it's own stuff to work around - but we will get through it. Best of luck!

For consistency's sake, M-F w/ daytime hours tend to be the ideal. However, that means appointments and sick children require taking off from work so that is the downside. Daycares typically require you to pay for either full or part time care. Full time means that you pay for the whole week, every week whether your child is there or not. Part time means different things at different centers. Some you pay for just your set days but if your days rotate you may have to pay as fulltime to keep your spot.

Either way, be sure you have back up for the times when you can't leave on time.

Two other things to consider - how far is the hospital from your house? If it's only say 10 min, lots of kids are in daycare for that long a day if you do the 4 day week. And - would your soon to be ex be willing to just one day a week pick-up the kids earlier? Then it'd only be 3 longish days for them. I think having that one day a week off would be great. Time to do things like people mentioned such as dr's appts, dentist etc. I work about 45 hours a week but can leave to do those types of things. If I was at a job that I had to be there all the hours I was "scheduled", it'd be really hard to keep up with the kids' needs.