Seeking Advice on 5-Year-old with Eyeglasses

Hi, would it be helpful if I get you in touch with my neighbor, Lily Lockwood of Bloomington. Her youngest one is 6 and has had glasses for about 2-3 yrs. He wears them constantly. She also felt really guilty when he first was prescribed them because now he wasn't "perfect".(In Indonesia, where she originally was from before she came to grad school in MN and then stayed on, that's how it is and so that's why she felt that way.) She is really really nice. Maybe it would be helpful for you child to play with her child and then he could see what it was like to have glasses all the time.

I know I'm responding to this late, but just wanted to add some thoughts. My daughter (who is 21 months) got glasses at 14 months, which honestly, I think made things easier because she was young enough that she didn't fight us all that much.

Others have already said this, but please know that this is not a mommy failure at all! I do remember being so upset when my Zoe got her glasses, being worried about other people's reactions as well as the worry of how we'd get her to wear them, but it has worked out. If it helps, there was recently a study that found that kids think that other kids with glasses are smarter and more honest, but don't think that it changes their appearance otherwise.

I know that whenever I get a new prescription, things look really strange through the new glasses. I have to imagine that for a kid who has never worn glasses, it's probably even more disconcerting, but he'll have to get used to seeing through them before it feels normal. Maybe you could use a timer to have "glasses time", and set it for increasing amount of time each day and make sure that you're doing fun activities during that time to keep him distracted from the glasses.

I also second the suggestion of making sure that the fit isn't bothering him, because poorly fitting glasses are really, really painful. You might also look for books about kids who wear glasses and really talk that up (I have a list on my blog: http://toddlerglasses.wordpress.com/books-for-kids/). My good friend has a son who got glasses at 3 1/2. Even though he had never read any Harry Potter, he knew enough about the character to be really excited that he would get glasses like him.

Good luck!

Hi A. -- My daughter also got glasses the summer before kindergarten, and at first she didn't want to wear them. She said they made the walls close in on her, which showed us how distorted her untreated vision was! We didn't make a big deal out of it, said just wear them around the house (the way you do with new shoes, to be sure they're comfortable). After doing that for a while I think she started to like being able to see in the new way, and by the time kindergarten opened she was wearing them full time.

Good luck! L.

My son also got glasses b4 kindergarten and did not want to wear them for the first few days. he was worried about getting teased. we did have to keep reminding him to put them on, but after about a week or so he was fine, we never had to get him the strap thing or any thing like that he just started wearing them when he relized that he could actully see with them on. I have only had to replace one pair and that was because he got mad at me and broke them, we had a very long talk about not breaking them and how they are expensive, and we haven't had any problems since. good luck and just try to be patiant with him, and any time you see him without his glasses just ask him where they are , try not to make too big a deal about it, but make sure he finds them.

Pushing it will probably make matters worse. I would suggest that you get him a fanny pack for his glasses and case. Give him the choice to wear the glasses or the fanny pack - so that he can pull them out if he needs them.

Once school starts, insist that he wear them during the school day and ask his teachers for help with this.

I, too, got glasses at a young age. In the end, you want to see clearly more than you want to avoid wearing glasses. So many kids have them these days A., that he will find several kids to commiserate with once he gets to school.

Still, make the fanny pack mandatory rather than the glasses. It will give him a safe place to store them when he is unwilling to wear them. This is important! Glasses are really expensive - having a safe place to keep them will make it easier for him to take charge of where they are and keep them safe. Then, provide a safe place for his fanny pack when he goes to sleep so that he can find them in the morning with ease.

has he said why he doesnt like them? mabye they are to tight around his ears or his nose or just uncomfortable. i have had glasses since i was 8 and i know anytime i get a new perscription the first day it seems like things look wierd. like when i walk im walking up a hill or something. i dont know why but as soon as my eyes adjust its fine. i think you just need to tell him he needs to keep them on and once he gets used to them he will not even notice hes wearing them. mabye bring him to a store or around other family and show him that he looks great. mabye let him pick out a cool case to keep them in at nite or something. i guess just keep encoureging him to wear them. im sure he just dont like them because hes not used to them and they feel wierd on his face. Good luck.

First of all, I just want to say that you don't need to feel guilty about your son needing glasses, it is not in any way a mommy failure. My 9 year old has worn glasses since she was 2 and has never been teased about the glasses. Focus on the positive, how he looks great in his glasses, and he can see so much better now which will help him at school.

What worked for us, in getting our daughter to keep her glasses on, was telling her that she had to wear them all the time except when she was sleeping. So if I caught her with her glasses off, I would say, "Oh...your glasses are off, it must be naptime." She was always eager to get her glasses and put them on to avoid the nap.

My daughter got glasses in 1st grade and LOVES them is very very excited to have them. Her friends are jealous and want to try them on and noone has made fun of her. So I'm not sure at what age they poke fun of other kids for wearing glasses but I don't think it starts that young.

I know my cousin's child got glasses at age4 and it was such a dramatic improvement for the child that she didn't mind wearing them.

My daughter only has to wear hers to school and I never make her wear them but I remind her when she's on the computer or reading doing homework that sorta thing.

I guess I would just try and not make a big deal out of it but start out slowly, have him wear them while watching tv the first week at home, the next week have him wear them when he does something else. Maybe just increase his time with them on and hopefully when school starts he'll be use to them. Make a reward chart or something. I think after he get's use to them he will begin to appreciate them and feel like he can't see without them sorta thing.

I agree with Tammy... Maybe he doesn't like them because they feel "too strong"... I remember the first time I got glasses (kindergarten) I had a headache for a week only to find out that the correction was off a bit. Even once the problem was fixed, there was still a MAJOR adjustment period. Imagine how distinct a difference it is to go from no correction to glasses for the first time when after getting an updated prescription there is a bit of an adjustment period (like your walking downhill) Perhaps try having him wear them for a couple of hours each day, and build up the amount of time per day he is in them until it is full time...

I was thinking. Maybe it's not that he doesn't like them - perse, but maybe they either fit wierd or he's not used to how things around him seem when he has them on.

If I remember from my glasses wearing days, everytime I got a new perscription my doctor told me that I might feel like I'm walking down hill until I get used to them. Maybe he's having similar issues and that's what's causing the dislike.

can you try to phase in the wearing of glasses. Like 30 minutes for a week then and hour and a half and so on? Just an idea...that way if it's a getting used to it thing, it will happen more gradually.

My daughter Cassie has worn glasses since age 2. At first we had bought this strap you can find at Walgreens that holds the glasses secure. The teachers at school made sure she wore her glasses at all times. The only problem she had was from kids making fun of her.

I've worn glasses since I was 18 months old and I remember every time I got new ones, they hurt, so I didn't like wearing them. The bridge of my nose is rather small, so they'd have to make them tighter behind my ears to help hold them up. Painful! Even now there is a period of adjustment of getting used to a new pair. Since you wear glasses you probably know what I'm talking about. I would take him to the optometrist and see if an adjustment might help. Trying to slowly increase the time he HAS to wear them each day will probably help too.

First of all, why do you blame yourself for a "failure". Our middle son had glasses at 5 years old(now 32) and I never even thought about teasing and that it was my fault. In fact, neither hubby or I needed glasses until we were in our 40's.
First of all I would make sure that the glasses are correct perscription. When our son got his glasses he had a hard time adjusting to them, until we found out that the prescription wasn't right. We wound up taking him to a clinic that specializes in eyecare. The first time we took him to Shopko.
Please make the experience a positive one. I think you are worried about nothing here about the teasing. There are so many kids out there now with glasses, that it has become part of their lives. We also had to use one of those glasses bands at first, but then was able to get rid of it.
Hope this helps.

Would you and the eye doctors consider letting him try contacts? Or is he too young for that?

Be prepared for lots of broken glasses too, especially if he is prone to being picked on by other kids. Even if he isn't, rough and tumble play sometimes gets those broken too, plus gym/school sports etc. If contacts are an option at all, I would go for that if you think he could handle it. If not, maybe a deal like, you only have to wear them at school, and then next summer we will try contacts.

P.S. if his eyesight gets as bad as mine did when I was young, he will want to wear them anyway. I was amazed at how much better the world looked with them on.

My hubby and I both have worn glasses forever, so I'm sure we will be going through this soon enough with our son, who is 2 yrs old right now. Best of luck to you.

My son had glasses at a young age too. We just had to keep reminding him to wear them. I hope that you got ones that are under a lifetime warrentee. My son was in about twice a month getting his glasses fixed at that age. They take them off and leave them in spots, running over them with bikes and wrestling around. They will hurt his ears and nose since he isn't use to it. Good luck.