Seeking Advice on Bedwetting

Hi K.
I know just what you are going through My son had the same issue for years washing all the bedding everyday. But i never addressed it so i wouldn't make him feel bad or embaressed. because i new that one day he would just out grow it and yes he did at the age of 13 it just stopped. So keep hope alive.

My brother wet the bed until he was pretty old. In his case he was sleeping too soundly. I know for awhile my mom would set an alarm and wake him up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. He would pretty much sleep walk to the bathroom with her but it kept him from wetting the bed. I think what finally worked for him was a special pair of underpants that set off an alarm when he started to wet them. I think my mom said they only had to use it a couple times and then he never wet the bed again. Hope all goes well at the doctor.

I got a bed wetting alarm from the bedwettingstore.com for my daughter (5) as she would wet a couple times a night. It worked fabulously, it took about 2-3 months before she was constatnly dry but we have not had a problem since. I have since passed the alarm onto cousins (older) who have had problems and it has worked on them too. Worth a try! Good luck!

My 8 year old son had very similiar problem. The school nurse gave me the name of a very good pediatric urologist here in town. Her name is Dr. Claire Close. She works in two locations, Henderson and also the west side of town near Summerlin. She is very nice, and very good. Anyway, my son was leaking as well, leaving just a little spot in his underwear. I thought he would outgrow this too, but when he didn't despite peers catching on to the problem, I took him in. She said that at his age there was something medical (which I was relieved to hear, rather than be it psycological). The first thing that we had to do was to get his bowels really regular, by adding more fiber, and more water. She even suggested a capful of miralax in liquid once a day to help. The reason for this is that if there is too much bowel backed up their system, it presses on the bladder, making it smaller. They said that if you have corn for dinner, you should be able to see it in the bowel the next day. At my son's age I wasn't really aware of how often he was going pooh or the consistancy of it, I had him start telling me, and showing me so I could see how he was doing. It should be soft (not hard and rocky) and they should go atleast once a day. Anyway, we fixed that with fiber one bars, and crackle and oatbran cereal (yummy), and such, and then lots of water. (Aunt Hattie even makes a high fiber bread that my kids like and tell the difference).

The other things that we had to work on is retraining his bladder. She said that his bladder was constantly sqeezing, and his lower phyincter muscle was also constantly sqeezing to hold it in, but that is the reason for the leaks. This is also why when I asked my son "can't you feel that you have to go?" that he just stared at me with no response. In my son's case, she prescribed a safe muscle relaxer that just targets the bladder, so it will relax and not constantly be sqeezing. And then we have had to reprogram his muscles to press at the right time. She had him going to the restroom and emptying his bladder every two hours to train it right. We bought a watch with the hourly chime from wal-mart to help remind him. My son felt immediate relief and we got immdiate results for the day time problem.
She also may order an ultra sound of his kidneys just to assure that they are healthy, as she did with my son.
When we go in, they do a little ultra sound to see how big the bladder is. He started out only being able to hold 2 ounces and now he is up to 6, and still getting better with time and with this program. Anyway, she is really knowledgable and can see if there are any other reasons for your sons wetting problem. She is concervative, yet very thurough. As far as the night time problem (because I keep asking her about it myself), she tells me that first you have to fix the daytime bladder before you can fix the night time bladder. We are working on enlarging my son's bladder to be able to hold through the night. She did say it can also be hereditary, so we'll deal with that when it's time. When I finally had all of this explained to me, it made so much sense for my son's particular situation, and me son is feeling so much better. But summertime would be a perfect time to get this all started.

Luckily, my son has outgrown this, but his dad and all his dad's siblings were bedwetters. My oldest wasn't---it's the luck of the gene draw. This is what helped us---we never took liquids away, but minimized them after 6:00. On hot days, I made sure my son drank ALOT before 6 pm, so he wouldn't need a ton to drink after dinner. There was a definite correlation between how much he drank at night and whether he had an accident, believe me! But I didn't believe in denying him, either, especially if he was thirsty. We found out he's allergic to milk and most of his accidents occurred on the few days he had ice-cream or a milk product. Not always, but often enough to see a pattern. I have since read that a milk allergy can cause bedwetting, as well as apple, grape, orange or pineapple juice. (Doris Rapp's book "Is This Your Child?") I have also read that it is believed that bedwetter's have a faulty switch in their brain---something in our brain releases a chemical when we're asleep to slow down urine production, and it doesn't kick in for these kids til they're older. Also, as you know, they are usually very deep sleepers. Put these together and you have a bedwetter. My son was VERY reassured by this info and not a bit embarrassed about his bedwetting, thankfully. We were always very matter of fact about it, as you probably are. We were lucky in that he stopped younger than your son, which is probably the difference. I think I was more concerned about him being embarrassed than he was! Oh, and the pediatric urologist is a great idea---isn't there a different one you can get to earlier? That's a long time to wait at this age, especially with summer and sleep-overs around the corner. There is also a spray you can get from your pediatrician for sleep-overs or camps that will help with his bedwetting. Your pediatrician's attitude concerns me---is he/she board certified? I can't believe he didn't refer you to a ped. urologist a few years ago? Good luck to you----I read some of the posts and there are some good ideas in there!

I didn't read through all responese so sorry if this is duplicated. My son's pediatrician prescribed dessomepressin for my son's bedwetting. She said it isn't uncommon for boys to have an immature bladder. It's too bad your dr. wasn't more aggressive with finding the cause or treatment. If he is always leaking, that sounds like a definite medical issue. Good luck.

Bet wetting is stressful for the whole family and its true the child suffers from low self-esteem. I took my son to see a child uroglist who prescribed many different tests. My pediatrician also gave him medicine to lower urine production. None of this really helped to completely stop the bed-wetting but it was god to find out that he has a small bladder and because he was slightly constipated, that weighs on the bladder and can provoke bed wetting too. Both my father and my husband were late bet-wetters so we thought it was just genetic, but I think that its important for your son to have tests done so you can find out that this is a medical problem and not his fault.
Good luck.

I used self remedies that seem to be working, no sugar, chocolate, or anything to drink after 5-6pm. bathroom before bed, and around 11-11:30pm. Caffeine is a significantly arousing stimulant to bedwetting problems genetic or not, cut it out of diet enforced strictly and u should see some kind of positive change.

Have you spoken with a good therpist? At this point, even if there's a physical basis I would imagine that thsi is causing him a ton of anxiety. Anxiety would no doubt exacerbate the problem and so the cycle continues. If it were my child I'd definitely attend to the emotions surrounding this.

Hi K. -

I don't have any advice, but I'd love to know the responses to this! My 7 year old still wets the bed almost every night (neither my husband nor I had this problem as children) and I'm not sure how to handle it.

All my best,

L.

I am currently having a similar problem with my 9 year old son. His dad had the same problem. My son's pediatrition said it is ok until he is 11. Can you please forward me any advice you get? ____@____.com
My mother-in-law is constantly trying to get me to take my kids to a specialist for one reason or another. This is her newest gripe with me. I would really appreciate any advice you can pass on. thank you, J.

My son wet the bed until he was 14. I used a waterproof mattress pad, and when he outgrew Goodnights I bought adult size Depends. Check out all the other options, but be encouraged that it really might just be waiting to outgrow it.

My son also still wet the bed at 12. He read about a buzzer device that was designed to wake up a bed wetter so they could wake up and go to the bathroom. We ordered it and installed it and funny...he never wet the bed again. He is now 30 and we recently found it in the garage and had a good laugh.

Several members of my family wet the bed until puberty. I don't know the reason...some were male, some were female, they all got a clean bill of health from an MD. and all stopped wetting the bed at the same age. different doctors had different explanations.
See what your child can come up with to help stop this embarassing problem, that helps him feel more in control. He may surprise you...

Hi K.:
Wow you have quite a family! I came from a family of seven children as well. five girls and two boys. Mom and dad,use to get our names mixed up sometimes. It was a riot.She'd call me,half my sisters names before I'd stop her "uh mom" "I'm J." : ) lol You know, mom use to be so busy,that it could be weeks before she realized that one of us had a particular problem.I have to hand it to you,for being so observant. I guess bed wetting isn't that easy to hide,since your probably in charge of all that laundry!I know, that a couple of us had a rough time,because we had such tiny bladders. We also were so exhausted at bed-time, that we'd dream we were on the pot,only to wake in a wet bed!You must know,that at his age, he is extremely humiliated,and embarrassed at his weakness. It's so important to keep his problem as low key as possible.His siblings joking or telling his friends that may come to the house,could be devastating for him,Even if he doesn't show it openly.Mom use to make sure we drank nothing at bedtime,and then for those that had accidents,she would wake us halfway through the night to go. That would help,as she caught us before our (potty dream) I know, that they have little gadets now, that go off, alerting a child when they begin to wet.I don't know how successful they are.I'd almost be tempted to get a second opinion from a Dr. He could have a problem,if he has daytime issues.I would imagine, that he will be as grateful,and relieved when he can finally find out what the problem is. Hopefully at that time he can regain his self confidence,and feel free of any ridicule,or futher imbarassment.I wish you the very best K..

Hi K.,

My son was wetting his bed until he was 11 and we tried everything to get him to stop. No liquids after 6pm. waking him up 1hr. after going to bed and early am. and he still would wet a full bladder. We worked with NAET in Stanton to help stop the leaking during the day, he would say he doesn't feel it when he would wet his pants a little (he had Aspergers) The only thing that worked for him to stop wetting at night was using the sleep Dry Alarm by Starchild/labs in Santa Barbara. It took him only one week to stop wetting every night and 30 days when he was alarm free. It was the best thing we did. He just needed to have his brain forced to wake himself up when he had to go (he was a heavy sleeper). We wished we new about it years ago so our son didn't have to feel bad wearing pullups everynight. We also used it on our daughter who was 7 at the time, she didn't wet as much but still was wearing pullups everynight so it took her a few days to stop. Good luck!

D.

Hi, K.

Well let me know that I have bought so many bed sets in this past years. I have a 16 and 14 yr old they wet their beds till this past yr. The way we worked on it was not letting the boys have water later than 8pm. That way they their bladder wasn't as full. The other way was that I would check on them and wake them up to go to the bathroom. My olders son is no longer having accidents. Good luch I have one to go he is getting better.

I read through the other advice and this was not mentioned. Sometimes allergy problem can cause bed wetting. One of my children had trouble with red food coloring. We stop any food with red food coloring (punch, candy, etc.) and the bed wetting stopped. Good luck

About three months ago I read another question from a mamasource mom who had the same question. Of the advice given there was a parent who recommended the "potty pager" and so I went online to ebay and bought one at a fraction of the cost it was new. Used may sound gross to some, but alcohol fixes everything. It took my son two months of wearing it every night, but he is finally night time "potty trained". The "official website" tells that it's a glitch in the nervous system, the signal from the bladder to the brain, so it works by training the brain and strengthening the signal. I was just going to put the one I bought for sale on ebay but I would be happy to donate it to you if you are interested or if anyone else could use it and are not grossed out by the "used" factor. It came with the original instructions and it works fine. Email me at ____@____.com if you would like it.

Hi K., I really hope this helps, my 5 year old neice was just diagnosed with a genectic disorder that causes her to wet the bed. Pretty much she has no control over when her bladder fully releases. Durring the day she catches it and makes it to the potty, but with some leakage. I would talk to her doc. No one on my husbands side of the family knows of anyone with a similar problem, b/c no one will talk about it. I, however, know my husband has it. As an adult he has learned full bladder control, but if you give him ONE beer he will wet the bed! It is a recesive gene, if you would like more info my e-mail is ____@____.com, I can call my SIL and get the details.

K.,
Bedwetting is such an unknown. I know how your son feels because I was a bedwetter up until I was 12-13 years old. It was something that kept me from alot of sleep-overs and eventually went away all by itself. I think the major problem is that I struggled with severe sleep apena up until I had an adnoid/tonsillectomy at age 6. When I slept it was in such a deep state that I would sleep through earthquakes. When I started to wake when I felt the urge the bedwetting was no longer an issue. I know bedwetting is genetic and sometimes it affects some children in the family and sometimes not. My husband and I were both bedwetters and luckily our son did not have a problem. Now we just have to wait and see if our daughter will. Be patient and know that your sons will have compassion for people with issues they have no control over.

Have you considered acupuncture? It could take care of the problem once and for all. I'm including a link to a short article. As crazy as it may seem, check out a chiropractic approach. Everything emanates off the spine. If you google "chiropratic bedwetting" or "acupuncture bedwetting" you'll find several articles on each. I use both for sinus flare ups and to contol asthma.

http://www.acupuncture-services.com/book-reviews/bedwetti...
http://www.icpa4kids.org/research/chiropractic/bedwetting...

K.,

My 7 year old wets his bed as well. He is a very, very heavy sleeper, and now it seems like he does it on those nights when he's very tired. I wet my bed periodically growing up (I'm a very heavy sleeper as well). I don't have a problem with it, and I wish my son wouldn't. His main problem is that his younger sister (5 yrs.) doesn't have accidents - she's actually had a handfull. He and I have talked about his being a heavy sleeper, that I've wet my bed growing up, other family members have wet their beds, and he will more than likely grow out of it - but it still really bothers him. So, I will do some research about the other suggestions mentioned here solely to appease his fragile ego.

Hi, I have a 12 year old boy who still wets the bed too. The Doctors told us the same things, he'll outgrow it, it's an underdeveloped muscle. Also it runs in both sides of our family, but I don't think anyone had the problem for this long. The way my son deals with it at this time, is he stops drinking any fluids at 7pm, he says that when he does that he doesn't wet the bed. So when he sleeps over at his friend's house out of like 10 times he did have 1 accident. It is really hard and I'm not sure what to do about it either. I'll be interested to read other peoples responses though. Oh yeah he has a 10 year brother who has a bladder like a rock, so we definantely know what your guy is dealing with too.

I suggest you get him to a chiropractor. They can adjust his middle back and has proven to cure the bedwetting issues. I know of a wonderful chiropractor in Tustin. Francis Chiropractic. He and his staff are absolutely wonderful and very caring. It is a christian surrounding and they are their to cure the problem. They also accept most insurances. His number is: ###-###-#### and you can say that Becky Moyneur referred you. If you want to talk with me directly, you can either e-mail me at: ____@____.com or call me at ###-###-####. Hope this helps!

Dear K.,

My son is now 16 years old and still very, very occasionally has a night where he wets the bed. He wet the bed almost nightly until he was almost 15 years old. He was small enough to wear pullups for a long time so we didn't have wet sheets. It was very embarrassing for him. He could not go to camps or spend the night at friends' houses. I was a bed wetter until I was 13 so it was not a big surprise he wet the bed. We tried everything, pills, doctors, waking him up during the night and nothing worked. He just slept so hard and didn't feel the urge to go. He DID finally outgrow it. My pediatrian told me it's a lot more common than we know because it's not talked about. I just made sure I told my son that it is NOT his fault. He wouldn't do it if he could help it and we never got mad when it happened. It was especially hard on him because he has other issues, asthma, ADD, OCD, and his sister has none of that. I told him adversities in life is what makes us who we are and that there is a reason things like this happen. Now I can say it's just a memory and he has no lasting emotional affects from it!!! Your son will get there too. Good luck.

Google "POTTY PAGER". This little device was our miracle. I hope it can work for you as well. I swear by it. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me: ____@____.com.

Hi K.: I feel your pain. 3 of my 4 kids (both girls and 1 of the boys) wet every night until they were around 12. It is a horrible thing for them and so frustrating for me because of all the laundry. I think part of the problem was that my kids were such deep sleepers. We invested in a wet alarm and I would be sleeping down the hall and hear it go off. My girls would still be sleeping and everything would be soaked.

One of the girls had chronic ear infections as a baby and was on a lot of antibiotics until she was five. I think that led to a lot of urinary tract issues. She was leaking during the day as well as wetting in the night. The day problems cleared up when she was 7 and her ear, nose and throat infections were resolved.

I had all of them checked by the pediatrician. One thing we tried was a tiny dose of imiprimine which is an antidepresant with the side effect of impeding urination at night. It helped a little, not enough to continue using it. Finally, they just out grew it.

Please be very patient and kind to your boy. It's nothing he can help and I'm sure he would give anything to stop. I used to just wash the linen without comment and would remind them to go to the bathroom before bed. It was so hard on them. My daughter went to a sleepover and told me that she stayed up the whole night alone so she wouldn't have an accident. Some of the girls from her school found out at a weekend camping trip and were very cruel about it. My boy went to camp and was mortified when he wet the bed. Fortunately the counsellors were very kind to him. When "Nighttimes" came out in large sizes, I got them for him. It was helpful for me as I didn't have to change the bed every night. He was embarrassed though as he associated them with diapers. Luckily the problem resolved itself.

I have heard of some behavioral modification therapies, but we couldn't afford anything like that then so I have no idea what it's about. My youngest boy is now 21 so I'm sure a lot has happened since then in help for bedwetters. Maybe your doctor has some suggestions. First be sure there are no physical issues to be addressed.

Please just approach this problem with kindness and love. All the best, M.

Hi K.,
Sometimes chiropractic care can help with bedwetting issues.
Check out www.icpa4kids.org for more info and to find a doctor in your area. And of course you can contact me personally with any questions!
In health,

C. Tanaka, DC
www.naturallifechiro.com

We've got a similar issue at my house. I found a website a year ago where kids can anonymously email with other kids who are having bedwetting issues to talk through problems and ideas etc. The kids are amazingly honest and forthright on the site. I made a mental note thinking that I might introduce my child to it when it starts effecting her self esteem. It's run by the Goodnights company - http://www.goodnites.com/NA/kids/ I wish you the best of luck with your next doctor's appt. Hopefully he'll get some relief.

My husband was a bed wetter, as well as several of his siblings. They all outgrew it between the ages of 12-16. One of ours had that problem. He outgrew it at 14. I believe the most important thing is to minimize the situation as much as is humanly possible, because, as you said, it is always a HUGE deal in the mind of the child involved. Taking him to doctors will only serve to make him feel that there IS something wrong with him. Make sure he knows that this is an inherited thing. Just like bad vision or a large nose. Fortunately, he WILL grow out of it.

Many years ago, I had one child who was a bedwetter. We purchased a Sears Bedwetting Alarm which goes off when they pee. It was very loud and woke me up from the other side of the house while he slept through it. I would help get him up and walk him to the bathroom. Within a couple of days, he no longer wet the bed. It really worked.
Some kids just sleep more soundly than others.

Ok so coming from a bed wetter, your child may or may not out grow it. I know for me it was muscle (yes they can do surgery after age 18 to correct or sooner if needed)

or mental (no not crazy, but psychological and can be so hard for a kiddo or adolescent. I would say have him seen and make sure he is ok about it all and it's not inhibiting (enabling) him from progress. Also mental is was he ever abused? I was for over 8 yrs by a family member and no one knew, and it can haunt them for life.)

Now how to deal, use amonia to celan up with with lemon helps or a good stong cleaner like lysol but be careful of clothes and fabric can discolor. Make sure he cleans well.

After 7 pm fluid yes that is great it will help a lot if it's muscle. Hell even 6 pm depending on how much he intakes during the day.

They have older kid diapers but you need a Rx, and only get these from your dr if you think he/ she will benifit from them.

Also look for a good made plastic cover the ones they make now are POS junky ones that my 2 yr old ripped with her own hands.

Most important let them know its not their fault (you'd be surprised how many kids/ adults think it's their fault and again it doesn't help them it makes it worse. Show them online how it's not medically their fault and explain genetics and how it works.)

I hope this helps, and just try and support them and empower them! Thats what they need. And of course your love when they accident not a mad or upset parent. This sends mixed signals to their brain and then you incur more accidents because you cause mental damage.

Also explain to him how he is not like his brother because of genetics and how his issues is because of quite possibly genetics and its no one's fault. And he may never be just like his brother explain to him their differences.

Good luck, and I hope this helps.

Dear K.,

I think you made the wise decision to take your son to the urologist, I would make sure he is a pediatric urologist if you need a reccomendation, I would def. go to Steven Lerman, M.D. at UCLA he is one of the best and he is great with kids. He deals with a lot of kids with Enurisis,and urinary incont. you can make a NP appointment @ ###-###-#### if your interested. Good Luck.

I definetely think checking with a urologist is a good idea considering the day time leakage thing. It may be related to the night time bed wetting, as well. If they're separate issues, just understand there are ALOT of boys with this problem. My oldest never wet the bed past maybe 4. My youngest never wet the bed from the moment she was potty trained at 2. However, my middle son, age 12, still wets the bed. It's not every night, but it does happen. We don't use it, but the dr. can prescribe something to help. As he gets older, it gets less frequent, and I'm sure he will eventually outgrow it altogether. Meanwhile, don't berate or punish him, reassure him that it's ok. In my house, it's no big deal, he takes the sheets off to let me know in the morn, and I put new ones on at night. We never mention it to the other 2 kids. Have faith!

My son wet his bed every night until he was 17. Check out
www.handle.org Their techniques stopped his bedwetting in 5 weeks. Email me ____@____.com and I will give you more info.
D. Merlin
Mother/author
www.victoryoveradhd.com

Hi K.

Wow - 7 children!! Congratulations!

Have you stopped him from drinking liquid for a period before he goes to bed, and then obviously he empties his bladder before he goes to bed?

I think if he is experiencing leakage, there MUST be some kind of urinary tract/bladder problem, which can probably easily be fixed... try not to worry... and try to reassure your son that things will be much clearer after your appointment. Tell him to think about how he feels, and how it feels when he has leakage in his underwear etc, ie does he feel it happening or is he totally unaware? Prepare him for the appointment - get him focused -

Good luck and try not to worry!
C. x

Hi K.,
My 11.5 year old son still wet the bed. My ped. (who is also his godmother), told us that they don't start "worrying" about this until they hit 15. We decided to try the pills but he couldn't swallow them (they are tiny). The drug is called Desmopressin Acetate (DDAVP). It comes in either pills or spray; we use the spray. It works to slow down the kidneys. Basically, it shuts them to the "off" position which non-bedwetters do naturally. Our bedwetters bodies don't know how to "trigger" that response. You must watch the child's liquid intake for two-three hours before they take the meds. This is because if their bladders are full when they take the meds, they won't shut off. On nights when he accidentally drinks too much, he will have accidents (and then we remember). However, IF YOUR SON IS NOT ON THIS MEDICATION - IT WON'T MATTER HOW MUCH YOU CURTAIL HIS LIQUID INTAKE BEFORE HE GOES TO BED. You always hear "don't let him drink for (2,4,6) hours before he goes to bed"; this is a myth. These children tend to be very deep sleepers. Many believe that bed wetting is actually a sleeping disorder, infact. There is a non-profit organizations call The Hargitt House. They believe that bed wetting is just that and swear to a rigorous program that "re-trains" the brain. However, it is a tough diet program and my son has not expressed a readiness to give it a try. It also costs about $700. We use the drops and he wears a maxi-pad to bed. I still use a waterproof pad under his sheet. He has, maybe, two accidents a month. It has made a huge difference in our lives. He goes to sleep away camp and to other friends homes. I just pack his drops, pad, and a plastic shopping bag, in his overnight bag. He changes in the bathroom and throws the pad away. The pull-ups sounded like diapers and that was too embarassing for him. Try the adult incontinence maxi-pads.
good luck.

Homeopathy can be helpful for bedwetting. There are several remedies so you'll have to read more about them to figure out which one is best for you. The major ones are Causticum, sulphur, and Equisetum Hyemale. To find out more about homeopathy (how it works and all the studies) visit:
www.bluedominoes.com

To learn more about the individual remedies and order (if your local health food store doesn't sell the remedies): www.abchomeopathy.com

Hello, there are specialists, pediatric urologists associated with most major hospitals or medical centers'
We took my son to one at UCLA. for pete's sake, why would you want to wait while your son is living with this issue.
Get an appt and find out what he needs to feel in control.
Just because your husband lived with it, doesn't mean your son must. Thank God for modern medicine.
Sorry to be so harsh, but this seems like a no brainer!