Seeking Advice on Getting My 5 Year Old to Sleep!!

Updated on April 04, 2008
L.G. asks from Portage, MI
22 answers

I need some advice and have found nothing on the internet or through talking with family/friends. My 5 year old daughter is a very poor sleeper. She goes to bed ok, but has always woken up multiple times at night- most times it seems, just to see if we are doing anything (she sometimes comes in to wake us and tell us something she was thinking of when she woke up). This has gotten better in the past few months, but another issue we have is waking up at the crack of dawn- no matter how late she goes to bed (we have tried to adjust her bedtime to a half hour later, an hour later, etc. for 2-3 weeks at a time, but by the end, she is back to getting up early). If she was ok for the rest of the day, I would be ok with it, as she will watch TV or read a book, play in her room, etc. However, by 3pm or so, she turns into a whiney, emotional wreck who can't hold it together at all. I am wondering if anyone out there has any suggestions?? I am pretty much open to anything at this point! Thanks in advance.

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So What Happened?

I haven't (obviously) had the time to try all of your suggestions yet, but I want to say THANK YOU- I received a ton of really helpful advice and I really appreciate it.

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L.C.

answers from Saginaw on

Hello,
Maybe some "white" noise. (i.e. a fan, a room humidifier, etc.)I know with my daughter she does not like to be alone. We have gotten her a body pillow to lay against. The only other thing I can think of is snacks before bed, are they high in sugar or to close to bedtime?

Hope this helps a little.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Jackson on

Consider a nap or quiet time just before she gets so whiney. My children would get over tired then they would not sleep well at night. My daughters-in-law found the same thing with my grandchildren when they wanted to stop afternoon naps. If they didn't have a nap, they wouldn't sleep well at night. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

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J.H.

answers from Detroit on

My son would go in cycles of sleeping well then being up every hour. I started some different things to help him and found that putting a lava lamp or some dull light in his room really helped him sleep. I actually used a number of things, but he liked the lava lamp best. I've had Christmas lights, a hurricane lamp... He has a lava lamp night light now from the dollar store.
As for the early morning wake up. Yup, Jacob did the same thing too. I just a made sure I had him down for a nap or some quiet time to rest in bed and read books. I know she's five and a little old for naps, but that reading book quiet time can help.

good luck

2 moms found this helpful
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D.F.

answers from Detroit on

I know a lot of mom's cut out the afternoon nap because they feel that thier child does not need it, but by what you are saying it sounds like to me that your daughter needs an afternoon nap. My son who is only 18 months and of course still takes an 1 to 3 hour afternoon nap, but if he did not get a nap in because we were so busy, he would would 1) be extremely crabby, 2) he would go to sleep great at night, and 3) he would awake a few times during the night. When you put your daughter down to sleep at night she is exhausted so getting her to bed is fine, but once her body has rested a little any small thing will wake her up. Try breaking up her day with a nap around 1 or 1:30 and allow her to sleep a couple of hours to about 3 or 3:30. Then put her to bed between 8:30 and 9:30. It may take a week or so, but her body will set itself to the new schedule. As far as the waking up at the crack of dawn that may be the time her body clock wakes her up. My son has always been a good sleeper sleeping all the way through the night and no matter what time I would put him to bed he was up by 7 - 7:30 now he has been getting up at 6:00am! I have not quite figured that one out yet!

Good Luck

2 moms found this helpful
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G.P.

answers from Jackson on

We had trouble with our 4 year old daughter waking up at night just to say hi. I hung a calander in her room and for every night she stayed in bed and slept all night she could mark her calander with a sticker. Then when she earned 5 stickers she would receive a dollar. She really liked collecting the dollars and planning what she would spend it on. The other benefit is that if she would act up during the day I could say that if she didn't stop a certain behaviour she would lose a dollar. She is lso learning about months and days by using the calander.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.B.

answers from Detroit on

Another very good book is Healthy sleep habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.P.

answers from Kalamazoo on

L.,

My son is in the same boat. Maybe this will help.

We started putting him to bed earlier, after failing at moving bedtime later. We thought a later bedtime would lead to later mornings, but it was the opposite. He was up by 5:30 am on a consistent basis and we were losing it! Now I put him to bed at 7:15 or 7:30 p.m., and after a while it led to later wake-ups. Don't ask me why or how!

We also put a clock on his night stand and a piece of paper with the time he needs to stay in his room until (7 am). That took a bit of time, too, but it worked. Once he adjusted to the idea that even if he was awake, he wouldn't get to play, watch TV, or have mommy and daddy time, he sort of resigned to the whole thing and started sleeping longer.

Now he often sleeps until 7 am, which is awesome! And let me tell you, afternoons and evenings are much better now that we aren't in chronic meltdown mode from being overtired.

Best,
R.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.D.

answers from Detroit on

Maybe you should try to put her to bed earlier. If she's sleep deprived, that can cause difficulty in sleeping. Will she fall asleep in the car? try to get her to take a nap in the day and help her catch up on some sleep. If she's getting up just to see what you are doing, then I would set up a reward program for her for staying in bed. Find something she REALLY wants and say she can have it for staying in bed 3 nights in a row. Will she stay in her room and entertain herself? Teach her to read the clock and tell her she must stay in her room 'til 7:00 and do a reward thing (stickers and charts?) for this too. Remember not to start any rewards that will create a new bad habit that you'll want to break such as agreeing to lay down with her or something like that. It's odd when a person who is sleep deprived can't sleep, it's a vicious cycle. Hope this helps.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.S.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter takes Melatonin to help her sleep. I suggest that you call your doctor and ask him about it. It is all natural and you can purchase it at the drug store or a natural food store. Your doctor can recommend the proper doseage for your daughter. As far as waking up early. Good Luck! My children are 13, 11 and 10 and still wake up at the crack of dawn. When you find the secret, let me know. I truely believe that everyones body tells them when they have had enough sleep and they naturally wake up on there own. I am also woken up by the sunrise. Do you have shades on your daughters windows? It helps me sleep just a little later.
Hope this helps.
C.

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V.B.

answers from Detroit on

I have an 8yr old that does the same thing, We made the room darker so on an so on. It took him awhile to sleep through the night I would say up until 5 months ago. I have found a warm bath (with playtime) and a calm program on TV and milk and cookies work great. Yes he is still up at 7:30 every morning but he no longer comes to our room. His Dr. said that this is anexity which alot of small children have due to busy lifestyles. So you have to talk all the time about how she is feeling and It will get better. Sorry I could not help alot.

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K.D.

answers from Detroit on

I have found that "SOLVE YOUR CHHILD'S SLEEP PROBLEMS" by Richard Ferber, MD. explains everything you ever wanted to know about sleep and how to correct the most common problems. I've read it after having each of my 3 children to make sure I am not causing anything that would effect their sleeping negatively since each one has been different.
Good Luck

2 moms found this helpful
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V.G.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My youngest daughter used to do this all the time, she'll be 3 the end of the month. Then she started changing her pj's when she got up in the middle of the night. At the suggestion of other mom's on this site - we had her pick out her pj's before she went to bed. Not only has she stopped changing her pj's in the middle of the night, she's stopped waking up as well. The one difference, mommy and daddy would put her in season appropiate pj's. She chooses summer pj's to wear. I always check on my girls before I go to bed and have made a habit to check those little bare legs and often they are roasting, with shorts on. The bottome line - is it possible that you're daughter is waking up in the middle of the night because of external factors, i.e. to hot, a street light shining in the window, etc. Our daughters would also get up really early in the morning. When we started closing their shades at night, so that the sun couldn't shine in their windows they started sleeping later. It's amazing how the external factors can impact their sleep habits, but yet we give them very little credit!!

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J.M.

answers from Detroit on

My sister went through something similar with her daughter. When she was 3-1/2 she started a reward chart. Each night she stayed in her bed without waking mom and dad, she got a sticker. For every three stickers, she got to pick out an art supply (her favorite things) from the basket.

She got so bored laying in her bed by herself, she'd fall back to sleep, no problem.

GOOD LUCK!

2 moms found this helpful
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C.J.

answers from Lansing on

Where is your daughter's room located in your house? Does it get morning sun? She may be waking up because her circadian clock is telling her to, because she is seeing the sun, or light coming through the shades.

To keep our son sleeping, we put up felt curtains over his blinds. In the summer his room glows dark blue, but the other seasons it makes his room as dark as a cave. He doesn't wake up at 6am anymore and sleeps until his body is ready to get up.

If you haven't tried this yet, it might be something that may work.

Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful
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N.A.

answers from Lansing on

Try puttng her to bed earlier. i know it seems counterintuitive but that is the suggestion we got when our oldest used to do that. it helped a little but fact is he was just a early morning person. He however was a lot more pleasant because he was getting enough sleep.
We made a rule that he couldn't get out of bed until the sun was up. You could try that or use a clock and put a picture on the hour when she could get out of bed.

2 moms found this helpful
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N.S.

answers from Detroit on

I am a mother of 3 adults and 8 grands, have you tried letting her pick out a favorite stuffed animal or doll if not give that a try good luck

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T.T.

answers from Detroit on

I have a three year old and a 1 yr old my 3 yr old goes into her room to watch cartoons everytime my younger one goes to sleep. thank the good lord. But I have started that for a long period of time. Do you have a t.v. in her room? if so leave it on for her so when she gets up maybe she will instead of coming to wake you up she will watch t.v. for awhile. But somehow check on her periodically to make sure she is not up all night it works for me. Does she have a nap time at all? I remember having a nap even at 10 yrs. old it's kinda like a quiet time thing my mom introduced and it stuck.

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E.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Sounds weird, but you might want to have her checked for acid reflux. It causes discomfort whenever the person, or child is lying down. This could be the reson why she is always waking up.

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S.M.

answers from Saginaw on

Hi L., Try sun blocking shades on her windows. Just like roosters the sun wakes us up. It causes chemicals in the brain to change. Our internal clocks get set this way. Just pull the blinds at bed time, and raise them at the time you want her to wake. Good luck. S.

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M.B.

answers from Detroit on

Hi, I am a Mother of three and grandmother of two. Our daughter has a 6 year old son who is a hand-full. She received prescription medicine from the doctor and gives him two teaspoons an hour before bed time and he goes to sleep in about an hour after that. That is the only thing that works with him. M. B. Monroe, Mich.

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D.B.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter had problems going to bed and staying in bed and I read this book titled "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems: New, Revised, and Expanded Edition (Paperback)by Richard Ferber" and it helped us. It explains the different stages of sleep and provided me with step by step solution to getting my daughter to go to bed and stay in bed. It worked for us so hopefully it will work for you. Good Luck.

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H.H.

answers from Detroit on

It sounds like she may be overtired. Although it doesn't seem to make sense, I would try putting her to bed earlier. I found with my early riser that the later I put him to bed the earlier he got up. If you don't already have a very calming bedtime routine that does not include TV for the two hours before bed, start that and put her to bed so she'll get 10-11 hours before her normal wake up time. It'll probably take a while, but will be worth it in the long run. Hope it works!

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