Seeking Advice on Postpartum Depression!

Hi G., I am though the same thing. I just moved and I am looking for a friend to go out with every once in a while. You can contact mr if you want to get together or just talk:)
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K.

Hi G.,
I really like Missy's response. She's right on the money when she says she's not a big fan of drugs, and you should consider getting off the Zoloft. I myself get tired of Doctors trying to fix everything with a daggum PILL. Plus as Missy said, the medication is getting into your breast milk and therefore getting to your baby. Your husband on the other hand..I'm really disappointed that he isn't more nurturing and compassionate towards you and realizing that when he comes home from work, he should be taking over so that you get a break at night to do whatever you would like, studying, taking a long hot bath, reading, or getting away by yourself to a friends house, or the store to help clear your mind of the stressful day of taking care of the kids etc. My PPD, Post Partum Depression lasted a year. No pills. If your husband is going to come back at you and say that you asked for this and now deal with it, he's not helping one bit, and may be you should consider some couseling, or even parenting classes that will help him understand the severity of your hurt, and what you are going thru as a stay at home Mom. I really feel for you and I hope your husband one day realizes that he's going to be missing out on a lot of things if he doesn't get more involved with you and the kids. I wish I had more advice for you. I wish I knew you well, and therefore can corner him and tell him what he is doing to you and that he better step up before it's too late. Take care, and best wishes to you G.. Hang in there. G.

I unfortanetely completely understand what your going through. I have a 4 year old, a 2.5 year old, and a 3 month old. My husband turned into a 20 year old with no idea of responsibility. He kept complaining that I did nothing while he worked all day. That he was the only one that deserved to have free time. We are seperated now hopefully not permanently. I felt like I was being emotionally abused by him. I cry at the drop of a hat do to my marriage trouble but also from ppd. My best advise is to find a local moms group. They will understand and support you. They have been my strength through all of this. They know how to make me laugh and how to support me while I cry. Concentrate on making yourself ok than I think your husband will come around. I just don't think he gets what your going through at all and therefore is behaving the exact opposite that he should be. I wish you the best. by the way I went on drugs with my last baby for ppd but I didn't breast feed so i would choose either the drugs or the breastfeeding. What ever you decide works best for you your child and family will be fine.

Hello Gabi,

First of all, I have to say your husband is a jerk by saying that you got what you wanted so now deal with it. If my husband were to say this, I think he wouldn't have a wife no more and would never see his kids ever again. I do not want to mingle, but he is not giving you any respect or support which you have already realized. First, that means he needs to be educated about this horrible illness and second, needs to learn some manners. I have suffered from severe postpartum depression so I know how it feels and I do not wish this on anyone. My baby is 8 months old now and I am finally weaning myself off medication - and very slowly and feel pretty good. Ladies that tell you to stop taking meds have no idea what they are talking about. Without the meds, I do not think I would be alive. Not only was I on medication, I have also been seeing a therapist and got lots of help from my husband and his family. I went to work when my baby was three months and that helped a lot as well. Taking time off away from your children is essential and it does not mean that you do not love your kids just because you spend time away from them. Men will NEVER know how it feels to have postpartum since they never will have kids so do not let any men tell you that you are making this up. First thing you need to do is have a big talk with your dear husband. He is the one that will have to deal with the fact that you do need help, that he is the one you should get it from and that you will take off on your own during the weekend and he can take care of the kids as well. Just put your clothes on, get the food and bottles ready for your boys and go. He is the father so he should bear the burden of rearing children equally. Not just put money on the table - he still thinks like it's the middle ages, he needs to forget the macho attitude because it will not help his family. He may be right that you are yelling at your little boy, he may be not. And if you are, that's a sign of that there is something truly wrong with you and that you really are not making this up because you would have never done this if you were your old normal feeling self. And also - your postpartum will ease with time, really! In addition with all the stuff that I had to do to get myself out of this mess, I have also joined a wonderful postpartum support group online. Pls check it out at: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/postpartummentalilln...

Do not hesitate to contact me at any time. Pls ask and demand help from anyone you know. Do not hide, tell the world. Nothing to be ashamed of. It's hormones and they will eventually level of. I know I sound all fired up about this, but I just feel with you. Hang in there. Love your babies, cry your heart out and slap your husband for me.

Love,

M..

It sounds like your husband is the problem - not the Zoloft. If you are still crying all the time you should go back to your doctor and talk about it. See if he/ she can give you a referral to a psychiatrist who can check that you have the right level of antidepressants and could also give you talk therapy to help you figure out how to be happy in your life. It was ahrd for me to take Zoloft because I don't like taking drugs but I thought I needed to so that I was the best mom I could be for my kids. You owe it to yourself and your kids to make sure your medication is the right dose and getting some help. Look for the supportive people in your life and ask them for some help. If their are none then try joining a local church or synagogue etc. where the people seem supportive. If you have anyone who can give you a break try to take some time off to sleep or go to the movies.
I'm so sorry that you are going through this.

If the zoloft is not working your doctor may want to change the dose. I have postpartum everytime and my husband is the same way he just does not get it. I started going to the gym some of them have daycare. Also try play groupsin your area get out of the house even if you just go to the park

If you decide to stop the zoloft be careful. Many antidepressants can't be stopped "cold turkey". Ask your doctor if zoloft is one of those and how to stop using it safely. While I'm not a fan of drugs either, they can help, especially short term. Post partum depression doesn't last forever and so a medication may just help you get through it. And, yes, it may be getting to your baby through your milk, but that's better than putting yourself and your kids in danger by letting these feelings of desperation get stronger. You definately need to find someone you can trust to watch your kids so that you can get out, at least once a week. Also, try to set aside a certain time every day that is just for you. Maybe a time when both kids are napping. And do something you enjoy. Read, scrapbook, draw, cook. Whatever it is you like to do, set aside time to do it. Time just for you. It'll really help you feel like a person again, and not just a mommy. I'm sorry your husband isn't more understanding. You must really feel alone in this, with nowhere to turn. If you need someone to talk to, just send me an email. Maybe I can help. ____@____.com I'll be praying for you. Good luck.

Hi G.,
1. You are a strong women doing all the things you are doing. You should pat yourself on the back and allow yourself to realize everything you are doing. Our society puts no worth on SAHM's and I believe it's truly the highest position and honor out there.
2. I agree with the other moms, adding a job probably isn't going to help you feel better.
3. The other thing is the THYROID!! One of the signs it could be your thyroid is that the Zoloft IS NOT working well. When we have a low thyroid condition, antidepressants don't fix us.
Please get it tested. It's sooooo common for it to be low after pregnancy.
4. My husband is being just as jerky and I feel very similar to you. I understand the prisoner in your own home, I'm sad, scared BUT I know I will be ok. I'm getting out to the park and the mall and I'm already feeling more empowered.
Goodluck and if you need someone to talk to please email me at ____@____.com
Take care of you~
S.

From what you wrote, it sounds to me like you have a lot going on. First, how old are you? Second, does your husband help out at all? Third, does your family live nearby? Post partum depression (PPD) is very common and can last for a while after the birth of your child. I am expecting my third child and we hold our breath waiting to see how bad my own PPD will be this time.
Is there a way for you to slow down? Take less classes?
You should tell your doctor that you feel like the medicine isn't working...
You are NOT alone. :)

Hi G.,

I wish your husband could talk to my husband...he is a stay-at-home-dad. He's a graphic designer and has always worked from home, so it makes sense to us for him to keep our 2 year old son at home. But, when I get home from work, I take over! I know how hard it is to be at home with a toddler and your husband needs to realize what he's missing out on. There is a website for SAHDs, so maybe you could show him that site so he could see that other guys are doing above and beyond the "Man Call of Duty".
http://www.dadstayshome.com/

As for the depression, I did not have PPD, but have had a bout of what I thought was peri-menapausal depression that turned out to be my thyroid. I took a simple saliva test through a local naturopathic doctor to find out what was wrong. Thyroid problems are severely underdiagnosed in traditional medicine because the tests they administer only show problems when there is a large variation in thyroid production when in reality a small change in thyroid production can cause huge problems.

As all the other moms have said, I feel for you. I also have a 19 year old daughter and her dad wasn't as wonderful as my husband is...I was a single parent even though I was married! I have to say that your husband needs to wake up, because my daughter and her dad are not close at all and it isn't because we divorced, it's because he wasn't present and helpful and supportive when we were married. You are in our prayers!

W.

Hi G.,

I would start with getting off the meds as they are probably making matters worse for you and your baby. Then stop school for a term. Unless your family is really hurting for money, it doesn't sound like a job will help. Next I recommend getting out of the house even if you have to bring the kids. Take a stroll and go to the park, let your oldest run out his energy. Join a mom's group that meets outside of online for support. You may even find that it's not staying at home with your kids all day but lack of adult conversation other than your husband or family members. Your husband cares, he is just confused to your emotions. Chances are his way of showing he cares is by working; and what better way than to support the ones he loves by doing what he knows best. Counseling is a great idea and there are options to all income levels. There is hope and I (along with many other moms) have been where you're at. I have three(3.5,16mos,5mos) with one on the way and I go to school full time. I have gone through the work or not work emotions, unsupportive husband(and almost divorce), kids all day and no family to help. There is hope, just take a moment to reflect and you will know where to begin and what works best for you and your family. Best wishes and feel free to email me and I am a member to local moms meeting group (well when our schedules can) and we are always looking to save money and have a good time.
~J.

It definitely must be a struggle to be going through depression without support from your husband! I would suggest a few things that helped me when I was having some postpartum depression: get out for a walk (15 min of sunshine has proven to lift moods), find other moms with kids and get out to the park, library, or other outings together. Sharing your stories of mothering is really helpful, take an omega 3 supplement like flax seed oil. It has proven to have strong benefits for moods. Google search Omega3 and moods for more info. Finally, get enough rest - nap when the kids do.

Be kind to yourself, you have a lot on your plate. Taking care of YOU with a quiet bath, a nap, mediatation, listening to soothing music, aromatherapy, or even some time alone to get out of the house when hubby is home can do wonders!

Best of luck!

Oh my goodness G.,
I really know how you are feeling!!! I was in the same sittuation just two months ago before I started my own at home business with a company called Arbonne. I can not tell you how it has turned my life around!!! I was so depressed and felt exactly like you do; like you are a prisoner in your own home. Except I wouldn't admit it to myself. I would love to share this with you. I know it will change your life it changed mine! I haven't been this happy in such a long time. And the great thing is that I can share my storey with other people that have experienced the same thing. Please feel free to contact me at anytime!!! Bless your heart.
H. Price
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G.,
Let me start by telling you that I am not a fan of drugs, so the first thing I would say is you need to get off the Zoloft. There are many other healthier ways to "heal" your body. Not to mention you are also giving that to your son through your breast-milk. And if you are stressed out as it is, getting a job will just add to it. My advice would be to get together with some other moms and talk to them about what's going on, cry with them and basically vent it all out before you go home to your husband. I cried every night for two weeks after my daughter was born. Not because I was depressed, but because I also didn't feel like my husband was very supportive. I just went in the other room and I still don't think he knows that I went through that. Guys just don't get it. Some are more nurturing than others, but they will never fully understand what each of us goes through during pregnancy, labor, and after the baby is born. Having a baby teaches us a whole new meaning of selflessness, love, and patience. I would love to get together with you sometime. With your kids, or just for a girls night out, so let me know!

M. R

You might want to get the doctor to check your thyroid levels with a blood test. Hypothyroidism often develops after pregnancy - I developed it after my 2nd baby and it took me a year to get diagnosed correctly. I was irritable, exhausted, depressed and more. Most doctors will just assume those are all symptoms of having a new baby in the house, so you'll probably have to be pretty forceful about having your levels tested. Good Luck!

G.,
I totally understand where you are coming from...I suffered postpartum depression about a month after the birth of my second child. It threw me for a loop bacause I had no depression when my forst child was born and could not figure out why I was feeling so empty. I would often feel extremely sad and alone and could not seem to bring myself out of it. I had little support from my husband at that time and although he would ask me "are you feeling better today?" the question would often make me even more depressed. I finally went to see a psychiatrist...I was given the option of anti-deprssants but opted fro just talking once a week with the therapist. It took awhile for me to come through it but the depression finally did lift after about 3-4 months. I would suggest that you get counsiling and if possible you visit a therapist with your husband so that he can better understand your condition which will help in providing a safe and nuturing environment for you and your family while you go through this. Also, you may want to check into support groups that deal with this very debilitating condition...it may help you understand that this is not something that you can "just snap out of". Good-luck and just remember that this is not a permanent state...you will make it through this and the experience will help you be a strength for others experiences in the future. If you have any questions about my personal experience or just need to talk you can email me at ____@____.com. Wishing you the best, L.

Hello! Wow, it sounds like you are really struggling!! I am so sorry that you are going through this. I can't say that I've been there, I have never dealt with post partum depression, but I do know how feels to be overwhelmed. Even though I don't really know what advice to give you, I'd love to be an ear if you just need someone to talk to. My email is ____@____.com. Maybe we could meet and just talk... It sounds like you are lonely. I stay at home as well. I have a 19 month old son and another son due in 8 weeks. Anyway, send me an email if you want to talk... I can email you my phone number so we can connect! You'll be in my prayers.
L.

I know how you feel I have been there. First I would get another doc. See a psych. I am not sure where you live, but a Dr.Holland in Palm Valley is fantastic! He knows what he is doing. Sometimes depression meds help in the beginning, but their effectiveness wear off over time. You need to be put on something new(or maybe the doseage isn't enough). As far as your husband goes...ugh! Have you ever thought of joining an at home mom group for support. I just joined a group of women, and we all suffer from different illnesses. Also, if you want some time to get out to be alone I would be glad to help for free. You deserve a break too! Us women get loaded down with way too much.
About me: At home mom of two, 7 and 5. Originally from Chicago. I miss it and my family a whole bunch!

Hello - I'm sorry to hear what a rough time you are having. I just wanted to let you know that I went through a similar situation when I had my son. I would recomend going back to your doctor and letting them know that the medication is no longer working. Many times doctors will either up the dosage, or switch your medication until they find something that works for you. For example, something that works for you might not work for me at all - it all depends on your body. I wish you the best and hope you feel better. - D

Oh my god honey, I know that you will hear this from others but I just want to tell you that you are not alone! I am glad that you are reaching out because post partum can be very scary. I don't have a degree and I am not married but I am a woman. Maybe therapy for your husband and you would help, as well. My friend went through pp and barely made it out. This is not something to mess with. It WILL be o.k. though. If you want someone to talk to I am all ears. Also, I live in Tempe and have a 2 and a half year old boy, so if you want a play date, I'm down. My personal email is ____@____.com me know!