Hi L.,
My heart goes out to you. I have a son who'll be 7 in January and is in 1st Grade. He had a really tough time in Kindergarten for the exact same reasons you explained in your note about your daughter. I had him tested for ADHD at Nemours Children's Clinic in Jacksonville his Kindergarten year. It was in October and I it was probably too early for him to be tested since it was his Kindergarten year. It is recommended that children, especially when it's their first year in school, be tested in the spring. However, my son was having a REALLY hard time and we started noticing issues when he was in Pre-K so I had made the appointment. It takes a LONG time to get, probably 3-6 months, so if you're thinking about it make the appointment. You can always cancel if you change your mind.
I do recommend that you take your daughter to a neuro-psychologist for testing. It is much more thorough than testing that would be done in the school system. I was an educator for 15+ years so I was/am very familiar with school testing. I do not believe paper testing alone can properly diagnose a medical issue such as ADD/ADHD, but that's just my humble opinion. Also, when you see a neuro-psychologist you will know the degree of ADHD and he/she will offer suggestions for treatment, not just medication.
I was hesitant about medicating my then 5 year old so we chose not to go the medication route. Instead, we put him on a great vitamin supplement, which helped, and practiced some relaxing techniques so my son would have ideas of how to calm himself when needed. It has been one year since testing and we are about to go through it again to re-evaluate his attention to see if he is about the same or is having more difficulty focusing.
I work from home and have been fortunate enough to be available to volunteer quite a bit at the school. We made it through Kindergarten, with struggles, and started 1st Grade. However, the issues were surfacing again so I opted to go the FL Virtual School route, which is public school but takes place at home. My son is excelling in school and we can more easily deal with attention issues since there are not 18-20 other kids in the classroom. I don't know that we'll always do virtual school but for now that has been a good option for us.
My son is still not medicated. I was concerned that he would not be able to verbally express to me how the medication made him feel. He is better able to express himself verbally about feelings now so I have not ruled out medication, although I'd like to try every other alternative before I resort to medicating my son. For me it's about him being able to cope with what's going on in his head. Children with ADHD cannot shut down their little brains even when they really want to. Sleep becomes an issue and sleep is SO important. Besides sleep, a very structured routine is helpful. As long as my son, and most children with ADHD, know what the plan for the day is going to be and when things happen they do pretty well. It seems to be change that tends to over stimulate. Change as simple as having someone come into the classroom that is not normally there can be enough to set off the inattention, causing the child to become so distracted that he/she can't focus on the tasks at hand.
When you're going through certain things you feel that you are alone and it is pretty overwhelming. You are just one in a million. I know parents who have a much more difficult time than I do. I'm thankful that my son is one of the ADHD children that has a high IQ. Many ADHD children suffer from learning disabilities of varying degrees and sometimes not completing work is simply caused by the inability to focus on a given task for the appropriate amount of time.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions. I will be happy to help in any way that I can.
K. Woodlief
www.LiveTotalWellnessToday.com