Seeking Advice Regarding Birthday Party Date and Coordination

Updated on August 01, 2010
J.F. asks from Las Vegas, NV
10 answers

I am trying to figure out how to coordinate my son’s birthday party. It’s kind of tricky, because his birthday falls at the end of August, right after school starts up again. I may be overly stressing about this, but I think it’s because it will be his first birthday with his friends from school, and I really hope most of the kids can make it. Here’s the scoop - he is currently in kindergarten and he will be turning 6 on August 31, that’s about a week and a half after school starts.
1) Do you think it is better to have it a few weeks earlier while it is still summer break or wait until after school starts? I was worried it may interfere with families’ summer plans or take away from what is left of their weekends. But, maybe I can hold it on a Friday if that’s the case?
2) There are thirteen classmates he would like to invite. I see most of the parents on a daily basis when they pick up/drop off their kids. Should I try and approach all of them before school lets out and ask for their contact information so I can let them know of the party that will happen in a few months? Or, maybe I can have my son give his friends something like a Save the Date card? But I should still probably get at least a phone number or email so I can follow-up with them? I know many times people forget to RSVP, especially if this is a few months away. My husband thinks we should wait until school starts, but then my son may not be able to track down the friends he wants to invite this year.
3) Just curious what others have done regarding this – if you’re sort of friends with some of the parents from your child’s school but your child doesn’t really know/hang out with their child, is it still courteous to invite their child to the party? Thank you!

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L.M.

answers from Honolulu on

M. I make a suggestion? My sister was born Aug. 30th and as such school always started shortly after her birthday. Since most summer sports end mid Aug and then school starts up in Sept, many families with older sibs have a family vacation at this time, schedule all the Dr appointments and shopping for school. That is a lot to cram into 2/3 weeks esp if both parents work full time. Usually my sister got better attendance to parties if it was the weekend after school started. Just so you know.

1 mom found this helpful

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Pick a date that is convenient for you. If you think your son would like to have friends over before school starts, do it. Once school starts, the activities start and weekends get jammed packed. Personally, I'd do it when they are still on vacation. My youngest's birthday is in April. We held her off until June many a year. We did what worked for us... You need to to what works for you.
That said, I'd approach the parents and ask for their contact information before school gets out. You might also give them a "save the date" card when you ask for their information.
Then, a few weeks before the party, send the invite.
YMMV
LBC

5 moms found this helpful
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D.K.

answers from State College on

I think either at the end of summer or after school starts is fine. If he isn't going to see the kids over summer, I would make sure you have their contact info so you can call or send out cards for the party. If he doesn't see many of the kids over the summer it may be nice to have it early so they can all get together before school starts back again. If he has it after school starts, some of the kids he wants to invite may change too as he makes new friends.

Try not to worry to much and I'm sure it will be a great party no matter when you have it!

4 moms found this helpful
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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I know this is a little late. School is already out and summer is in full swing. But, I have two kids with end of August birthdays - the 28th & the 30th - and it is very difficult. I find it is easier to wait a few weeks and get past labor day and such. Even though school is in, many people are still trying to get last minute summer trips to the river in, etc. Hardly anyone ever shows up. I usually invite double what I want, because half usually don't make it. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

I think you are overly stressing about this. I would casually ask some of the parents that you always see what their plans are for the summer. I would wait until school starts to have the party, that way, you can see if your kid still wants to invite the same kids. This is not as big of a deal as you think it is. Some kids will come and some will not regardless of when you have it. Don't take it personally. And I usually don't invite everyone in the class to my kids parties.

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C.F.

answers from Las Vegas on

My advice , ask the teacher if you can make a class list with everyone's address and phone number on it. Let her know you'd like to get in touch with the other parents for possible playdates during the summer. That way you can make copies for all of the parents before school ends. And maybe get a picture of the entire class together. Then you can send out the invites a few weeks before school starts again and in those invitations you can put a copy of the class picture so the parents remember where you know them from. As for who to invite our school has always had the policy if you hand out invitations at school all of the children must be invited. But if you are mailing them to a home address, then you invite whomever. Hope this helps. And have a wonderful birthday party!

1 mom found this helpful

K.N.

answers from Miami on

Good Day,
I think you have the right ideal, but I do have a suggestion for you... If the place is not already planned, maybe you can consider having it at a park! The weekend before school starts, have a bar-b-q party at a park, so that is is a "family-Fun-Day as well. I've done this for my 2 girls and everyone loved it! Once I had a pizza party at the park, and took the kids to the small water park there also! It was a great day for kids & adults alike! Clean up is easy also! We used Quiet Waters Park and it was truly a great Birthday and fun day for everyone, including siblings and parents as well. Good luck and Happy early Birthday to your son! May God bless you all..
Kathy N

1 mom found this helpful
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L.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi J.,

My daughter's birthday is also late in August. We allow her to have a big party every other year. Her "big" birthday party happened when she was in first grade. We just moved her party up to June instead of August. It was just easier to invite the kids she wanted to have there.

The positive thing about waiting until after school starts are that you might not have to invite as many kids, unless your son has play dates with all 13 kids during the summer. Also, if you are going to make up gift bags for the kids, you can always find school supplies for cheap.

As for the kids your son invites to his party, I didn't invite every kid in the class. This might draw ire from moms, but there were 24 kids in her class, and I just couldn't see having kids she didn't even play with or particularly like at her party. However, you might want to check with the teacher. I have heard that there are some schools that have a policy about this. We were, of course, discreet about the invites and I reminded my daughter to be courteus of her other classmates in the process.

I held my daughter's party at one of those bounce house places mid week, on a minimum day. The downside of that was that she was exceedingly tired after the party and kind of cranky as a result. Still, almost all the kids were able to come, which was great.

Good luck with the party, and with whichever way you choose to throw it. Your son will have a wonderful time with his friends no matter what.

Take care,
L.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.G.

answers from San Diego on

I think its sweet you are thinking about this already. End of august is a rough time to have a birthday (mine's Aug 28th)... if school has started everyone is just getting used tot he new school year, and if it is just before school, half the families seem to be out of town - it's right near the long Labor Day weekend.
I would casually let the parents of the 13 kids he wants to invite know that you are planning (hopefully) on having a b-day party at the end of aug / beginning of sept and could they give you some contat info to keep in touch over the summer and perhaps plan a playdate or something before the new school year. just keep it casual and vague, since nothing is planned yet, and who knows if your soon-to-be 6 year old will still want these people at his party in 3+ months from now.
as far as inviting your friends vs his friends - that's a personal choice. if you want a big party - sure, if you want it to be 'his' party, i wouldn't invite them. you can always tell them that you had to limit the number of guests, and your son picked who these people would be.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

get contact info now but hold the party a week or 2 after school starts.

1 mom found this helpful
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