Seeking Advice, Tips or Solutions for Having My Child Returned Back Home.

There is no way to help, with so many missing details. Like, "seeing you get hit" could mean you lived in an abusive household. That is WAY different, then just seeing you get hit. Children are collateral damage in abusive households. Even if they aren't struck by an abuser, they are almost always mentally and emotionally abused. A parent allowing that or doing that, is being negligent. That is cause for removal.

How about, fill in some details. Other then that, it's hard to know how to help you. I think you should contact someone in your country, since our system is different.

How on earth can we help you based on this small bit of information?

Nowhere do they take children away and threaten adoption just because your child saw you being hit! So if you want real help how about you explain what really happened. Like all the missing details.

You do everything they say and more. You need to be patient, motivated and ensure that you attend EVERY meeting, fulfill EVERY request they ask of you and smile when they give you more.

I'm not in Canada, I'm in the US - but the FIRST goal of any children's dept is reunification with the bio parents. But if you miss meetings or court.... if you don't do EVERYTHING they say and then the extra they want..... then their job is to find a permanent family who will protect your son.

You will only lose your child for good if they feel he is not safe with you.

So if you REALLY want your son back then do EVERYTHING you can to make him safe. Including cutting ties with all the people you know who are not healthy.... and get your self a positive support system of people who are healthy and provide a safe atmosphere for your son.

Good luck.

Just for clarification for our other poster, MP doesn't offer a way to write a different country other than the US for posters who live out of the country.

You don't really give us enough detail about why you lost your child. It appears that you were in an abusive relationship and they don't feel that the child is safe. They may be afraid that you won't stay away from this situation.

Canadian laws must be very different for them to be wanting to adopt out your son. I really think you need to get a lawyer in Canada who knows how the system works.

Good luck.

I don't know about Canadian law, but here in VA, children cannot languish indefinitely in foster care. Within 18 months of removal, the Agency is required to provide a plan for permanency to the Court. There are a series of court dates where things are statused with the court, as well as monthly meetings between the social workers and parents to status where the parents stand. As the parents complete some things, more items may be added to their list. The Court has final say; not the Agency. Here in VA, the first plan is always return to home ... If bio parents cannot get it together within the established time limits, the goal changes to adoption.

The Agency's JOB is to make sure your son is safe ... From what I gather here, you weren't necessarily keeping him safe, so now YOUR job is to prove to them he will be safe with you.

Do you have an attorney? Is there a GAL appointed for him? How long has he been in care? If you're reaching the limit of time he can be in care without permanency, you may not have many options ... You need to figure out what the law is where you are and work WITH the system to get your son back. Then, YOU need to do EVERYTHING necessary to keep HIM safe.

C.,

I don't know anything about Canadian law with respect to removing children from their parents.

That being said, I'd make sure to make the contact person at MCFD my "best friend" and do whatever they ask and jump through whatever hoops they require to get my child back.

Find out EXACTLY what you need to do. Ask for a specific list. Make no excuses and do each and EVERY thing they ask. Do that and more (if that means gettting rid of an unworthy "boyfriend"----DO IT!), and get your baby back.

My thoughts are with you.

J. F.

Jump through the hoops, and earn him back.

Heck of a first question.

Your post really, really needs more details for people to help you. But honestly? My own advice boils down to "Follow the directions of MCFD to the letter and get a lawyer ASAP." Whatever is going on in your home that got your child removed from the home? Fix it now. As in, immediately. Don't wait. If you're in an abusive relationship then you end the relationship for good and don't look back. You put your child first and do whatever MCFD and the court tells you to do.

There's got to be more to this than what you've posted. I can't imagine that a child protective service in Canada would be any more likely that one in the US, and would just go into a school and remove a child unless something serious was witnessed or repeated. How did they know he saw you being hit? He either told someone, or someone else saw this. And I have to think there was more than one incident or it was extremely aggravated. And if they are pushing for adoption, there's got to be more involved.

If there are a whole lot of hoops, then there's a reason for it - something you haven't told us. So there's either a whole lot of evidence or multiple reports that they have on file, or something.

So what you do is you jump through those hoops, and you ASK them if there are more you can jump through. You don't say, "So do I get my child back now? How about tomorrow? When when when? He misses me." You say, "I understand that the state has a compelling interest in the safety of every child. I will do whatever it takes." Then you do it, as well or better than they asked for. If you have to get help in doing this, ask for it. Find a counselor or someone from a family center to assist you in navigating the regulations.

If you are involved with anyone who is considered a threat to your child, break away. If you are engaging in any behaviors whatsoever that could even be interpreted or misconstrued as less than ideal, stop. That means hanging out with the wrong people, using any controlled substances or alcohol, partying, not being productive, anything. If you need parenting classes or job training or counseling, get it. If you can't afford it, get a job so you can, or see a pastor or any other free or sliding scale person you can. Establish a network of excellent character references who will, over time, be able to form a strong wall of people of integrity who are in your corner. This doesn't happen overnight - if you try to convince too many people of your worth, it will look like you are being superficial and just doing it for "show". Volunteer for some agency and help those who are in worse shape than you are - show that you are a giving person.

If you want your child as badly as you say, and I believe you when you say you do, then nothing will be too much for you.

This is the Ministry of Children and Family Development? In Canada? But you are in Beverly Hills, CA? It seems something is amiss. And what exactly is CCO you're referring to? That acronym applies to many things.

Unfortunately you need to do what they ask of you, even if they give you more to do. You need to show them you can truly care for your son by what they deem suitable. I seriously doubt most of us here can advise, give tips or help, since American and Canadian requirements may be different. My advise would be to reside and be gainfully employed in the jurisdiction your son is in, for starters. Then prove to them you should have your son back.

If you were hit in front of your son they need to know the person who hit you is no longer in the picture. I'm sorry, but I think you may have left something out.