Seeking Advice to Take Pacifier Away from 19 Month Old

One of my friends told me a trick that worked like a charm with my daughter. I cut the pacifier tip off, about 1/2 way in the middle of the "bulb" so they don't get any suction on it. I did this and gave it to my daughter, she put it in her mouth, spit it out and told me "Mommy, broken". We then walked it to the garbage and she threw it away...that was the end of that...

S. T.
Allentown, PA

K....

just wanted to say thanks for asking the question. I have a 17 month old who loves his and we are debating about when and how to get rid of it. He usually olny has it nights and naps but he has been teething quite a bit and then we brought home his baby brother...so maybe in a couple of months. But there are some great ideas to think about for when we do. Good luck with it!!

Hi K.,
I think the longer you wait, the harder it will be to get rid of it. If I were you, I would (for right now) limit it to naps & bedtime. Make a plan & stick to it. Ex: Eliminate it at the nap, then at bedtime.

Sometimes cold turkey IS the way to go. Have him put it out for the Binky Fairy and the Fairy leaves him a special little snuggly toy in it's place......might be worth try, but once it's gone--it's gotta stay gone! Good luck!

I have no advice to give I can only share my experience. My little guy will be three in July and he still has his binky. My older guy sucked his finger until he was five. ( I think he still does sometimes.) Anyway I would rather him give it up on his own than try to make him do it. I also take this tack on potty trainng but that is another issue.

Good luck getting it away from him!

K. B My daughter was very attached to her pacifier also. When she got to an age she could understand a little bit I told her she could only use it at nap time and bed time she could not walk around with it in her mouth she was ok with this and only used it for naps and bed time. I personally would rather her have the pacifier then suck on her thumb. the thumb never goes away. Good Luck

In order to get rid of the "Binky" at our house I used the same method with both kids. We did what many previous posters have already suggested limiting it to nap and bedtime. Remember to talk to your child and let them know that the binky is for babies and that he is becoming a big boy. Oddly my son turned over the binky with that comment and never looked back. However, the reminders work great and the limiting helps the process. Just communicate and let them know your expectations, know matter what age they are. The step down process has obviously been a great success with most kids, but every child is different. As long as the child knows you are both compromising, he feels some control in the situation too, which is vital. I heard of a great idea, nearing the end of the limiting process and you know the binky is about to be history, take the child to "Build a Bear" and have them drop the last "binky" inside an animal of their choice, that way it is always with them, but not in their mouth. Just an idea.
Good Luck

what's going on that he wants it more? teething?
I like the first posters advice to limit it to naps and bed time then in a few months drop it from nap. And i would do it now instead of waiting, he won't understand it any better later. But for your sanity you'll need to come up with something to replace it for soothing him during the day. Either keeping him extra busy during the day, or pain relievers if its teething, a different LOVIE or more sleep if he's over tired, etc.

My daughter just turned 3 and she would use her binkie for her naps and bedtime but was competely addicted to it! We kept all of her binkies in her bed in her "binkie box" for easy accessibility. I told her the Binkie Fairy was coming to take her binkies to the babies who needed them, and since she was not a baby she did not need them anymore. We did not go cold turkey. Each day or even every 2 days, 1-2 binkies were taken by the Binkie Fairy. Each night we would reinforce that she was not a baby and the Binkie Fairy might come. She did not like it but seemed to accept it. It was easier on us because it could all be blamed on the Binkie Fairy and not on the parents.

Good luck. You can do it.

R.

K. - My daughter loved her pacifier also. She used it mainly for falling asleep. Our doctor told us to let her have it - it is a way of comfort for her. When she was 15 months old, her baby brother was born so with so much change in her life, I didn't want to snatch something away that brought her comfort. Well, when she was 2.5, we had a 'talk' and I told her that big girls don't need pacifiers. I thought it went in one ear and out the other. Two days later, SHE told ME, Mommy, I don't need this pacifier anymore and she was done with it!!

I would wait . .. Out of 4, I only had one who ever used a pacifier. The others used their own thumbs, and they quit that all by themselves .. . . My pacifier child had to quit at 2, when she started going to daycare. My next one loved bottles. So much so that my mom gave me grief because I let her carry a bottle around everywhere she went (usually around the house -- not in stores, or out and about) She drank apple juice, and I let her carry the thing around in her teeth (until the nipple broke thru -- what a mess) The reality is that she LIKED the bottle being there, she drank from it when she wanted to, and we were about to have another baby who would be nursing and/or getting a bottle, so I didn't want to fight that battle at that time. In the end, I don't think it ever was a battle. She just started doing it less and less as she got older, and found other things that were interesting to do.

I'd be sensitive to your child on this one. You can bring it with you in public, but not have it quite readily available, and only use it if he asks. At home give him more options and control. But I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. There are very very few 10 yr olds who suck on pacifiers . . . :-) He'll change, but there are SO many other things we have to say no to, or times when we have to curb their desires to keep them safe -- why make a battle out of this one? It's a habit that isn't hurting him. :-)

My son did that at the same age. He wanted it all the time. So, I told him all pacis were going bye bye and that was it. He asked for it a few times,then it was over. I waited to take my daughter's away until after she was 2, and this was a much bigger ordeal. We put it in a tree and fed it to the baby squirrels. Whatever way you choose to do it, just make sure you stick to your guns.

I agree with Denise P..the longer you wait, the harder it will be. I know a lot of Moms here say to wait until he is older or he doesn't want it anymore, but the children of these Moms are THREE with binkys!(ask any dentist what he/she thought of that and I'm sure you would get very loud objections). Sometimes we Moms forget that WE know what's best for our kids...a binky at age THREE is just detrimental and only the Mom who is desperate to find easy ways to placate her child will allow it to go on for that long. It is developmentally appropriate to find thier OWN ways to self-soothe...to allow a prop (one that deforms the jaw) to be used into the preschool years is tantamount to robbing our kids of learning these special self-reliant skills.

Whew..sorry...pregnancy hormones...I think Denise had it right for a way to get rid of it...I concurr with her. :)

Hi K.,

I suggest going cold turkey. I did this with my son at 15 months and it worked very well. He was upset for about a day and then he moved on. Doing it slowly sends the message that they can still get the pacifer from you at times. If the pacifer is just gone then he will find another way to sooth himself. It is also better for their teeth to give it up now. Just be strong and make it through the one day of crying and it will be okay. Better than days of crying. Good luck.

E.

Hi K.! Take the pacifier away now. Or at least in a week or two. Plan a head so that you have things to do and you won't need to get up early (it may take a while to get to sleep so you'll want to sleep in if possiable). The first 24 hours are the worst...then it gets lots easier. Best wishes

We did a little bit of all the answers you are getting. At first we just started out that she had to throw it back in her bed when she got up. But she quickly learned if she didn't throw it too far she could sneak up and get it out of her crib :) Oh how smart they are so we just moved it back. Then after a period of time when she understood more we made up a passie care package and mailed it to a hospital (grandparent's house) for the sick babies to use and she loved that. She had one rough night of sleep and then not another word. Good luck! I think I hated giving it up more than she did because I did use it in church and on airplanes for quick quiet!!!

my son was 28mo. when we finally got his paci away. He had that thing 24-7 and I thought I'd never get it away from him. what happened with us was we went to our camp for a weeekend and about an hr after arrival he was going potty in the outhouse and he actually accidentally dropped it down the hole. (I know, Yuck). I did bring extra's but he didn't know that. so we told him "oh no, binky's in the poopy water, no more binky" He whined for it a couple time after that and once or twice through the 1st night, but I just kept reminding him what happened to it and he was fine. As soon as we got home, I scavanged the house for any more laying around before he found them. We were lucky. I would let your little one maybe have it a little longer since he's younger than mine, but it's your decision. Good luck to you.

My younger daughter never wanted anything to do with a pacifier, but the older one LOVED hers and had had some medical issues her first year and a half that meant she spent a lot of time in the hospital and unable to eat-the pacifier was essential then! When she was healthy after a second surgery at 16 mos, she still had the pacifier and we got very strict about only allowing it in her crib. If she wanted it during the day she was able to take a "binky break" but she could not remove the pacifier from her crib. We kept that up until she turned 4, then told her it was time (we'd made a big deal about it in the months leading up to her 4th birthday)and she gave it up pretty easily. I was nervous about letting her keep it so long (even though it was really just a few minutes/day most days, as she fell asleep at nap and then at bedtime) so I talked about it with the pediatric dentist. He said not to worry about it-that it wasn't like she walked around with it all day, and that "teeth are easier to fix than psyches" so if she needed it, to let her have it. It worked well for us--good luck!

At Around 15 months, I started teacher my daughter that she had to leave it in her bed. That was the only place that she was allowed to use her "soothie". Between 2 and 2 1/2 we started talking about how "big girl" don't really need to use one and then one day we gave it to frosty the snow man (in the front yard) because he needed it. By morning (thanks to the hubby) frosty was gone with the soothie. When she asked we reminded her and she was OK with the whole thing. The important thing is that you stick to whatever you say.

Good Luck
R.

I was having major problems with my son's binky use; well actually it was more along the lines of a binky addiction!! My friend absolutely raved about the cut method, and all of the psychology behind it. She found it on www.bye-bye-binky.com , which is great that it was also free. We went with it and OMGosh... worked so beautifully for my son with NO tantrums, not even one! Thank you God. Five days later he did not want anything to do with his binky. What a relief it was to all of us to finally be done with those darn binkies. Highly recommended! I am also interested in others experiences.... B.

take away a little by little try not to give him during day time just give him for nap time and bedtime. He will think and less and less.. I do not like pacifer. I am mother of 5 grown kids. My son's wife's baby is on the way. I will be a grandmother of 2. One is 19 years old and other is on the way.. Also, I have another 4 so called grandchildren which they call me Grandma.. One of them was required to have pacifier a long long day and night.. every time I visited them.. I always took it from him and played with him for a while then he forget about it.. Give the time..

Our doctor suggested cutting a small piece of off the pacifier. they usually dont want it then. We our son it broke. and that was it he was done.
I think it was harder on me than it was for him.
Best of luck!

I have four kids and three of them had the binky addiction. This is the PERFECT age to snatch the binky away, cold turkey and be done with it! I saw something not so long ago on SuperNanny.....she had the toddler gather up all binkies and they were going to put them in a special package for the "binky fairy"....she told him that the binky fairy was going to take them to "babies" that didn't have a binky....and how binkies are only for babies. They put the package in the mailbox before the little guy went to bed, and then the next morning, the parents had replaced the binky package with a really nice note for the little guy and a gift, all wrapped up nicely. It may have been a stuffed animal? something for him to sleep with now, instead of binky? or some other toy that your child really wants. Just an idea. Whatever you do? go cold turkey! and stand firm, it gets better in a couple of days! I promise! :-)

By the time my son was 1 1/2 he only used his pacifer for sleeping. We decided to cut the pacifer and give it to him. He said it was broken and he wanted to ask Grandpop to fix. Grandpop tried but couldn't. So I asked him if he wanted to throw it away and he did (let him throw it away). That was the end of the pacifer. For a couple of weeks he would tell me how his binky was broken then he stopped. Since then I had another baby and my son says that binkies are for babies and has no interest. It was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. Good Luck!

Well, I dont have much advice other than if youre thinking of taking it away now, Id go for it. My daughter will be 3 in august and still has her binky. We have limited it to bedtime only but it was a bit of a challenge getting that far. I feel that if we would have started earlier, getting rid of it might have been easier. All that we do now is ask her for it when she wakes up in the morning. She is getting better about handing it over now too. I always start out by saying, "you dont need this all day because youre a..." and she says "big girl!". Having her say the ending seems to help her feel better about putting it up for the day. :]
Good luck in whatever you chose to do!!

Try putting it in a plastic bag and saying that there are other children who need it. This one worked for my daughter. Also try getting something else that would sooth him like a blanket or a toy.

Both of my boys (now ages 7 and 9) LOVED their "binky". We would leave it in the bed/crib and use it only for naps and bedtime. When they were around 2 we went cold turkey (we lost our last binky and didn't have a choice for my younger son). The first night was rough putting him to sleep but once asleep, he didn't wake up for it. The next night not so bad and the 3rd night was no problem.

K.,

He may be whining for the paci more because something is bothering him - separation anxiety, teething, a cold, whatever. Those are the things that make my daughter want hers more. Remember that this is an item that comforts your child, so you don't want to rip it away from him when he cannot understand why.

Dr. generally say pacis should be gone by 2, but many kids have them after that. I am doing what my mother did with me which worked really well (and is going well for us so far) is to start putting rules around it. I started with she couldn't take it into dance school with her. Now, I generally take it from her in a restaurant, the mall, etc. I keep one on me, just in case of a meltdown, but almost never need it. Daycare takes it from her except at naptime or if she isn't feeling well.

Because it is a gradual thing, there is less trauma. For the last hurrah, you might need to do the Paci Fairy thing, but I wouldn't do that until he is a bit older and can better understand. Ideally, at that point, he should only be using at specific times, like bedtime.

HTH,

C.