My son is 3 years and 3 months old. My home is very organized yet lived in. His toys all have an exact location where they belong and never anyother place. I am not the type to get crazy when he has a lot out that he is playing with. The problem is that when it is time to clean up he refuses. He will just run and laugh, or say, "ok I will" and not do it. Most of the time he wants me to do it with him and then he will help. I just feel like he is old enough to take up this responsibility himself. The only thing that has kind of helped is the fact that some things that have been left laying out have been chewed by the dog. :( So, if I remind him that the dog might get them while we are gone/ in bed it helps some. Any advise on how to get a 3 year old to pick up after himself?
As a daycare provider, I have also struggle with little ones picking up their toys. I think that at three years they can do the job but may be overwhelmed if too much is out. I usually will cut down on the toys available in that case. Also, kids really like doing things with you. I like to make it a game -- "Who can pick up the most... ready set go!" After a while you will be picking up one toy for every 3 or 4 of theirs.
Calmly warn Caleb that you can not guarantee his toys will still be there later if he doesn't pick them up. Then, when he goes on his merry way - grab yourself a black trashbag and pick up his toys and put them "away" in the garage, a closet. See how long it takes him to realize they're gone. Then, be empathetic. "Caleb, I'm so sorry your toys are gone. What a bummer!" (paraphrased from Love & Logic classes) Then go on about your business. Remeber, empathy - not sarcasm. And be sure NOT to say "I told you so..."
You have several options: 1. Donate the toys. 2. Keep the toys for a month or so and then trade them out with other toys. Or 3. Have Caleb do a special chore to earn back one of his toys.
There are many variations of this type -- find Caleb's "currency" and let that lead you! Sometimes kids quit caring because they have too much. "Oh Well - the dog chewed my toy. I'll go play with X now."
Good Luck and let us know how it goes!
I think young children get overwhelmed when face with a big mess and told to clean it up. What I did with my oldest son was to tell him to pick up one thing at a time. I would tell him pick up all the Hotwheels, then tell him to pick up all the blocks, and then pick up all the stuffed animals. If you give him one item at a time it is not as overwhelming. I would also go and help after he had picked up to get the stuff he missed. Helping models good behavior. You can also have him help or watch when you do other cleaning so he knows that everyone helps clean the house. I hope that helps.
The Barny clean up song works well for us.
3 is still pretty young to just have him "clean up" the room. He might be a bit overwhelmed by all the toys, and not know where to start. When I taught preschool, we would help the children by giving them a specific chore-pick up the red blocks, put away everything with wheels, put aways the books, etc. If we gave them one thing to do at a time, it was much more manageable and they usually were all helpful in cleaning. I use the same technique with my kids, and they usually all help out. My 8 year old still gets overwhelmed with the mess in his room, so I still break it down to 2-3 things to do at a time.
Oh dear! He's three honey. It's a big job and he may just need a little help doing it. Or you may need to let him know that you're the parent and when you say do something you mean do it, and do it now. Of course, this won't sink in right away, it'll take consistency and patience to teach him. But if he isn't taught to be obedient now with little things like picking up his toys, he won't listen later with bigger issues like drugs, sex, and staying out of the street.
The hardest thing we do as parents is give our kids everything they want and all at the same time. It is really overwhelming to them as it is to us. When the kids are in pre-school around the age of three they are given areas to play in and only certain toys in that area-then when they move to another area they often leave things out-then we as the adults help them by taking them by the hand or guiding them back to the first area and stay with them till the items are picked up-usually in a large box or shelf or something they can work with comfortably as they are still reallly small. This takes a lot of patience from us and most important alot of reminding every day. Just keep it up and limit the toys ato a smaller portion and you can always change the toys for another day as they will feel those same toys are new again. this should save you a little cash for the bigger items later when there is a birthday. When they really do outgrow those toys it will be time to get rid of them-I am sure there are some friends a bit younger that are ready to play with them. If you want to see some real fun give your child a large cardboard box! Now what to do with all those great toys? Save for a rainy day.
I have a daughter about the same age and we have been working on picking up the toys also. She does it at pre-school everyday but it seems like at home she won't do it. The pre-school suggested not having a toybox but having shelves to put things because a toybox encourages dumping. So I am working on getting everything on shelves and also scaling down the number of toys we have out at a time. I took some toys to the grandparents so that they had stuff to play with there and put some toys up and will take out the old and put out some different toys each month. My big problem is that I have a 21 month old and a 7 month old who aren't old enough to put the toys up. The 21 month old will try but her attention span is still not very long.
Well good luck hope you figure something out that works for you. If you figure out something that works well let me know.
M.
With my 2 1/2 year old, we try to make a game out of it. She is learning to count so we count the toys as they go in the box or something like that. Also, sometimes if there are a lot of toys out, I have noticed that she gets overwelmed with the task and doesn't know where to start. If I give her a specific toy or group of toys to pick up, it gives her some direction and she is more likely to help. Also remember to reward good behavior. On the days that he does clean up when asked, make a big deal about how good a job he did and maybe even give him a small treat as a reward (not as a bribe). Starbursts and Herseys kisses are popular in our house. Small so they won't give a major sugar rush but the child still gets the idea that they have done something special to EARN a reward. Good Luck!
Two things worked for us.
1. We "timed" our son, i.e., "How fast can you clean the toys up?" He'd try to be faster than he had been the day before. (This technique did not work with our daughter.)
2. We sang the "clean-up" song while we picked up the toys.
Good luck!!
I agree with Cari M. Make it a game and give lots of praise!
As a music teacher I agree with 3 being a bit young to just clean everything up at once. Only because with my sweet little Kindergartners we would also have a "clean-up" song and I had to break things down for them until they got used to what was expected. I agree with the patience and guiding him along (which I'm sure you do anyway!). There is great advice on here and I'm sure he will get the hang of it soon! Hang in there!
