Seeking Help for the Delivery Room

In the delivery room I didn't feel like I needed that much. The other posters had some good suggestions. But a day or two after, my brother in law brought us a gourmet pizza (he picked a "lighter" pizza, so I wasn't having to eat heavy sauce and pepperoni after having a baby) and beer for my husband (he wasn't sure if the beer was allowed, so he smuggled it in). After all the bland hospital food, it was the best thing ever! My sister in law had a baby eight months later and he repeated his gesture. She and her husband also raved about surprise. It has now become his "thing" any time someone special has a baby.

I would include playing cards--my husband and I played endless games of gin-rummy. Also snacks. Hospital food is not that great and if you have your child when the cafeteria is closed mom is likely to not get any food until breakfast, which can be bad since they won't let us eat or drink once labor starts. In fact, my last child was born at 12:10 am and the doctor and nurses suggested my husband go to Sonic! My mom brought me mints and other hard candies and at first I thought it was silly but I'm so glad they were there. Make sure you have Tylenol for the dad--those daddy sleeper things are very uncomfortable and dad is likely to have a headache, backache, or other soreness. The hospital won't give dads anything and he'll have to go down to the giftshop and pay $8 for a tiny bottle. You might bring a small Igloo cooler (the ones that would normally hold a 6 pack) with some ginger ale (because some women get an upset stomach and throw up after delivery, juice, milk (if mom likes it), etc. I;ve had my 2 children at 2 different hospitals and some hospitals have stuff on hand in the delivery ward and some don't. And sometimes it is a pain to track down a nurse to get something.

Also, I highly recommend giving a small gift to the labor and delivery nurse. Usually mom will have one nurse that is with her through the duration. The doctor shows up 5 minutes before the baby pops out to take credit for all the work the labor nurse does! :)

Congratulations to your friends. What an honor for you too. When my sister-in-law was close to delivering her first baby, my brother asked me to help him with a surprise. He gathered a few things and I picked up a few more and placed them in a basket for her to receive right after Shelby was born. He repeated the basket, with my help, when Brandon was born 3 years later. My husband liked the idea and knew how much I liked it too, that he made me a basket, with the help of a friend, for both of my deliveries.
The basket had bottled water, small bottles of wine, cheese and sausage (the small individual sizes, crackers, peanuts, snack bars (granola), fruit, candy (hard and chocolate), a magazine for the mom and dad, coffee mug, flavored coffee, and any thing else that we could squeze in and still have the basket look fantastic. The basket was presented right after the baby was born. It was great. My sister-in-law and I were starving and we had missed lunch. They did bring us something, but it took a while and was not very good. This sustained us at anytime day or night until something better could be provided. Each basket also came with a Pink or Blue bow.

Does the delivery room survival kit have stuff for the fiance? My experience was that my husband needed far more help in the delivery room than I did. For example, we didn't bring any food snacks for him and the doctor told him it would be a while, so he should go ahead and go out and get a meal. Well, during that period I had contractions from h*** (I was induced). So, the next time, I packed snacks and drinks for him in my hospital bag. Also, you need to be there to advise him when he just needs to leave her along - most guys want to do "something" but my experience was that the mother enters a certain zone and the annoyance of having a spouse trying to help is the worst part of the situation. I went from telling him to "please be quiet" to "be quiet" onto "SHUT UP!".

Also, the best thing for your friend to do is to stay upright as long as possible - I walked around for 45 min out of every hour (they needed 15 minutes to hook me back up to the monitor, check BP, heartrate, etc.) and delivered my second child in record time - the doctor had gone home for dinner at 7 thinking it would be a long while only to come back at 8 and finding the baby's head had crowned - she delivered him in high heels and pearls as she didn't have time to change.

hair ties! or a headband if she's got short hair.

i couldnt live without them. it's gonna get sweaty, no matter what kind of delivery she ends up having.

maybe some hard candy too, some hospitals let you have hard candies but some say only ice chips. be careful though, warn her that if she eats too many ice chips or hard candies, she'll throw up. its not a big deal & it wont hurt anything. i was in labor for 31 hours & i kept sneaking ice & candy bc i was STARVING & dying of thrist, & i ended up throwing up (same with my second daughter). in my opinion, it was worth it though.

and like mary below me said, make sure your there to tell the fiance when to calm it down. its not a football game & no matter how much he encourages her, its not going to make it more pleasant or make the baby get there faster. just tell him he pretty much needs to be her slave & be nice & dont tell her how to do anything just support her & back her up. good luck!

L.,

You are a very sweet friend! Your survival kit sounds good, but I would add FOOD!!! After she delivers, she will probably be very hungry, and it could be hours before they bring her a meal. And even if they do bring her a meal shortly after, she may not want or like it. I have given birth to three kids in three different hospitals, and one thing that was the same for me was that I was very hungry and the meals weren't enough (or the food looked kind of gross)! Bring a few different kinds of food bars, apples, bananas, cheese and crackers, bottled water, etc.

Wow that is so special and such an honor to be able to be there with your friend! Good for you! #1 Rule--don't complain about anything and don't let anyone around her complain. After baby arrives take lots and lots and lots of pictures so neither the mom or dad have to worry about missing a precious moment.

Bring an extra headband and chapstick. I packed like I was going on a 3-day Mt Everest excursion and in the end, only ended up using the chapstick I had packed. You could help them a bunch by having your friend give you a list of all the friends and family she'd like you to call after the baby is born. Other than that, there's not much to do.

I didn't get hungry, the ice chips were actually quite refreshing (more than I thought they would be)...however my husband did get hungry and bored...hindsight 20/20, I wish I had used a doula or had a girlfriend in there with me. Just 'be there" for your friend so that her husband can leave for a bit if he needs to get something to eat or go to the bathroom, and she won't be alone. After the REAL contractions started to kick in, I didn't want to talk to anyone and didn't really want anyone talking around me, so don't worry about trying to keep her entertained. Just hold her hand and gently rub her head and no matter what she asks you to do, just say "OK" and try to do it (i.e. if she says "where the h*** is the darn anastethiologist, nurse, puke bag, etc??!!" just say you'll go find out!

the best thing anyone did for my husband was to bring him food. he was so worried about me and the baby that he didn't eat from friday night until late sat night after my son was born....his dad made him go eat with him. since i was in the hospital for 4 days...c-sec, he didn't eat much b/c he didn't want to leave us there by ourselves and he didn't want to spend money that we didn't have to buy something. not to mention and actual pillow and warm blanket, hospitals don't give the dad's too much comfort lol.

Hello L.,

how about including some of her favorite crackers and cookies.
before the delivery, help her put together a list of friends and family numbers and e-mails and have her send you the e-mail address so when you go home you can e-mail them a picture of the baby. oh yeah, bring a camera and take lots of pictures! extra batteries for the camera or also the battery charger =) Good luck and congratulations! ~C.~