Seeking Help with 2Nd Grader

Have you talked to the teacher to see exactly what she thinks the problem is? That's where I woudl start. If you guys aren't on the same page, then nothing will help. If she just seems unreasonable, maybe try to change teachers. Also, have you talked to other parents in the class to see if they have similar issues? If so, then maybe you could take the issues higher up. Good luck.

I also have a second grader. She hated school when she started 5K and First grade wasn't much better. She had a teacher with 20 yrs. exp. & it didn't help. We moved out of that schools zone and she started a new school this fall and she is a different child. She is happy and doesn't get the bad comments sent home. Maybe your son needs a change. I know they don't advise it but it changed our lives. Oh yah she has perfect attendance so far this year! She was always playing sick before! I hope this helps you! Let me know how it turns out.

What school does your son go to? It seems like your son has the same type of discipline system that my daughter does and it is a pretty strict one.

T.,

As a mother of an ADHD child, twins and being a military family that changes schools constantly I know the best thing to do when your child is having trouble is set up a conference. ASAP!!! Go to the source! She will have to make time for you. Set up a course of action. Find out the root of the problem. After that, go home. Talk to your son. Set up a course of action. Give a week, two tops. Talk to other parents. See what they are saying. If things aren't better, schedule a conference with your school counseler and the teacher. Work your way up. Involve the principal if you have to, but don't let it go. This is the last year he has to grasp phonics, etc. In third grade, things will really take off and he needs to prepare this year. If his self-confidence is down, so will his grades. Sometimes first year teachers are great. Very entergetic and ready to go! But sometimes...it is a whole other story. My grandfather was a teacher for 10 and superintendant for 25 years and my mother has been an English teacher for 36 years. I've seen some great teachers, and I've seen some ones that are great teachers...just not great with kids as well. And I've seen some teachers who have no business teaching. Period. But my best advice to you...keep showing your face. Stay on top of everything! Let them see you are an interested involved parent. Most teachers welcome involved parents! It isn't something they see often. Stay positive with them and it should work to your advantage! I wish you the best of luck!

P.S. And if all else fails, counseling. A third party advice is sometimes the best course of action with kids! It works for my son! : )

EDIT: AFTER READING YOUR SECOND ADDITION: Go to the principal. Sounds like she has no control over her class. Common in first year "overwelmed" teachers. Keep scheduling conferences. They will have to meet with you. Get together with parents as well. Just don't jepordize your son's education! Good luck! This is a sticky situation! Remember on thing: ALWAYS STAY POSITIVE! THINGS WILL WORK BETTER FOR YOU AND YOUR SON! : )

I would talk to the teacher and volunteer in the class if you can. We had this happen to us but it was in K. It was a nightmare and I hate to say it but by the end of the year we had to say to ourselves take it one day at a time. I would talk with the teacher but I would also talk to other parents of children in that class. Not to start something but to see if other children are having the same problems. I did this and one of the moms that I talked to started crying and said she thought it was just her son. She said he comes home and says it doesn't matter how good you are in Ms. ?? class everyone is BAD! I firmly believe that if most the children in a class fail a test it isn't because they didn't study. The teacher can be to blame.
Good luck!
M.

I agree with the person who said sit down with the teacher, principal/asst. principal and advisor. As you new teacher (this is coming from someone who has taught almost ten years now) it is hard. Structure and discipline is the hardest thing and they don't really teach you that in college. I would even bring in your son so he can see that everyone is concerned and everyone is working together to make his second grade year the best. You don't want to have him dislike school at such a young age. Good luck.

Have a conference with the teacher, explain that your son has never had these issues in the past two years of school. Have her tell you how the day is planned and what she expects, then come together and make a plan for your son. The last thing you want is for your son to start to dislike school or teachers. If he is saying that he is following directions and she says no, then somewhere communication is lost between them, help them find it. Good Luck!

T. B,

I VERY SORRY THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THIS WITH YOUR SON. I HAVE A 5TH GRADER THAT HAS A BEHAVOIR PROBLEM TO AND HAS HAD IT FOR AWHILE. MAYBE YOUR RIGHT ABOUT THE TEACHER. MY THOUGHT WOULD BE THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE A MEETING WITH THE TEACHER AND THE PRINCIPLE IN YOUR SCHOOL AND TALK ABOUT THE PROBLEM IN SCHOOL AND UNDERSTAND WHAT COULD BE CAUSING THE PROBLEM IN CLASS AND MAKE SOME CHANGES IN CLASS AND AT HOME FOR DISCIPLIN FOR HIS ACTIONS. GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND I HOPE EVERYTHING GOES WELL FOR YOU AND YOUR SON!
D. B

I would start with a conference with the teacher and have your son there with you. Start off with how worried you are about the behavior reports that he has been comming home with and neither of you understand how this is possible. See if there isn't a way to resolve the problem with the teacher one on one. If she doesn't seem in tune with your concerns then ask to have a group counciling session involving the teacher, principle and councelor. Do look into your son's friends in the mean time about how they are doing in school if you can talk to the parents.

It's just a thought, but here lately we've been having problems with our 2nd grader as well. She's the only one in her class with straight A's (not saying she's the only one passing - this is straight from the teacher) but sometimes she would do little things that the teacher would see as acting up and she would come home with a yellow card instead of a green one. She started acting out at home as well as defying us and even lying sometimes. One night I sat down and talked with her. I got her to get her feelings out by breaking everything down. I told her "be honest with me here" to start with (you can tell when a child starts to lie because their pupils dilate even though most people don't know this) then I would ask her about her feelings. Do you feel this way (put in emotion here)? (Answer from child) Why? Continued on with this with the possibilities of anything she might have been feeling. I got many different answers. One of the best answers I think I got was that she was frustrated because she is bored with the work at school. She was tired of seeing the same thing every day, day in and day out. So I requested a conference with her teacher and she's been sending home some more work each night than what the kids get. She's doing homework with basic multiplication, work that entails a little more than just a simple sentence with the vocabulary words that are assigned for study, work that entails working with mom or dad, things of that nature. Ever since she started getting this homework, she has brought home greens at school every day, stopped acting out at school and at home, stopped lying, started talking to us more, pays more attention as well as her patience span has lengthened. I didn't realize how much of an impact being bored at school would make on a child until I got her to talk and we had evidently found the root of the problem. At least for now. It's worth a shot, maybe this could be part of the problem if not all.

If I were you I would talk to the school about your concerns. Alot of time they will tell you they don't like to change classes but if you are persistant they will. I have pulled my two oldest out of public school for these types of things. You know what is best for your child so stay on the school to do what is best. Some children just need more structure than others. Good luck!

If you know other parents with children in the same class I would call several of them and ask how their children are doing. Maybe you need to sit down with the teacher and talk about what she is finding difficult or noticing his struggles during the day and then you can swap notes by letting her know what works and doesn't work for your son. You can give her some ideas of how to handle your son, in other words to learn his needs and language in order to reach him in a positive manner to receive positive results.

Teachers fresh out of college have such excitement and high hopes for their passion with teaching. If she is like any new teacher coming in, it can be overwhelming the first year and any parent involvement is much appreciated. The teacher also has to learn each student’s strengths and weaknesses.

Hi!

Have you had him checked for ADD or ADHD? Sometimes those notes aren't because he is bad but just having a problem concentrating on the teacher's directions. I suppose it COULD be possible that she is a new teacher and that is why, but chances are, there is more than meets the eye with this situation.

I hope this helps.

MOST new teachers have a personal advisor/mentor to guide them during the first year or two. Find out who her's is, and request a conference with BOTH of them AND the Principal.

I agree with the other postings here. It's hard for new teachers. (I know...I AM one!) They're still using the "Ideal Models" they learned in school, and haven't quite grasped the REALITY of a classroom yet.

Meanwhile, try giving your son multi-step directions at home, such as "Go bring me a fork and three spoons, and two napkins." See if he can do that kind of complex "follow directions." Don't scold him if he made a mistake during this test. Try another one, like three yellow crayons and one blue one.

The transition from 1st to 2nd grade is tough. There is a lot more seatwork and a lot less "play". This is complicated by having a mixed group...some OLDER 7 year olds mixed with YOUNGER 7 year olds...they mature a lot during this stage!

If you suspect it's a techer problem, don't be so quick to punish him. Give him abundant praise for GOOD jobs instead. The worst thing you can do is talk about his teacher in front of him!!! This removes any sense of authority she (or any other teacher) DOES have! and sets him up for future failure. (He can always blame the teacher!)

I hope this helps shed some light on the situation, Request that conference SOON, by calling the Principal's office FIRST. He is ultimately responsible, and is most likely aware of the situation already.

HUGS

WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHAT SCHOOL YALL ATTEND BECAUSE I AM IN THE SAME SITUATION RIGHT NOW

I have a daughter that is in the second grade this year too. She isn't having a PROBLEM THIS YEAR, BUT last year was a different story. She was in trouble all the time and for about a month cried when I took her to school and played sick all the time. We called in the guidence counselor to speak to her and all sorts of things. First she said it was because she didn't like her teacher and then she said it was because a boy was mean to her. I did all the same things you did with conferences and everything. I called the school. My advice is to ask the guidence counseler to speak to him privately and see if he might tell her/him something that he wouldn't say to you or to the teacher. I found that my daughter and that teacher just didn't mesh very well. (I also didn't feel comfortable talking to her she seemed cold to me) The guidence counseler checked on her periodicly and things ironed themselves out. There has been no trouble since.

I've read all the posts and I wondered if you son is bored. Is the work something that he has done before? Is he getting his work done quickly and has too much time on his hands? He may be getting in trouble because he gets his work done and, because second grade is more structured, he is now getting in trouble for things that weren't a problem before. He may need to keep a book at his desk to read quietly when he gets finished with his work. Because his teacher is new, she may not recognize that he needs more to do.

Good luck.