Seeking Help with Math

B.,
I am a math tutor, and I have found that "games" work well to help kids learn their multiplication tables. The games kind of get them going with the multiplication, but they will eventually have to memorize them so they are fluent. I tell the kids I work with that when I ask their name they don't have to stop and think, they just tell me. That is how you want to be with the multiplication tables. It just takes a lot of work. I had problems with them as a kid, and now I'm a math tutor! Here is a website that has a few "tricks" to helping with them. http://math.about.com/bltricks.htm Also, www.multiplication.com has some good ideas as well. Email me if you need anything else. I have some games that I could email you. ____@____.com is my email. Hope this helps.
F.

Hello! I read the other responces and there is some good stuff in some of them. They all have good points. I think personally, every situation usually differs in some ways and there may not be a single solution. I understand about the private school thing, I would like that too, but at the same time, it is good for a child to be in public school also, because if not, they may be too sheltered from the real world and have no idea how to live in it when they get older. I know nobody likes it, but the world isn't getting better, and street smarts is a good thing to have. She probably is hurting from the divorce. Divore is hard on kids. You can help her by agreeing with her dad to only argue away from her. Set an appointment if you have to to discuss a disagreement. It is never good to argue in front of kids, and especially not good if it has anything to do with them. My son is having some problems this year also. Me and his dad get along well and are together. Some times these thing just happen. My husband who didn't do good in school, was already afraid of 4th grade, I thought he was being silly. But now that my son is in 4th grade and he was right. It is scarry when you child is doing really good and then they aren't. But I really don't think it has anything to do with private school.My son also, has become lax in school this year. He made all A's last year and is making mostly B's this year. I really think they get to an age, where they are ready to have a break, and so they take it. What seems to be working on us, even though very hard and tiring, is basically putting our foot down, and being hard on him. We tell him what we expect, and if we don't get that, he gets disiplined. Sometimes it seems he is always in trouble, but I would rather have him go in the right direction than for him to try to take the easy way out, and have it harder when he is grown. As for the multiplication, have her study the times table chart, starting with two's then moving up till she know them all.I know this is long, but hopefully something will help. It sounds like there is a lot you all are going through, and it is probably hard to adjust to these changes for her, but just remember, that what she goes through now, she can handle and it will only make her stronger.

B.,'
that is hard i will keep you in my prayers,.. My husband and I have a daughter from a previous relationship, my daughter lives with us and my husband's daugheter lives with her mother.. we had custody of her when she was in the 3rd grade, and the enviornment she was in was not good, we always (thank god) had the resources and funds available to always live in a more afluent neighborhood. My step daughter couldnt adjust in the school beucse the work wasnt her speed, she lacked behind. I have tried everything and what seemed to help was just some love.. she was torn betwween living with us and living with her mother. I just communicated with her in her language and you'd be surprised about what they have to say even at that age.Your child may be going through something that she dosent know how to verbalize. have yuo tried speaking to a counselor in her school.she may not be able to concentrate if she is having the problmes and being torn between you and her father, somehow you have to be able to talk to her in a language she is famaliar with and in her way she can tell you what is wrong with, She may not be having a problem with her math the way you are seeing it she may be fighting and not realize it.. if you speak with a counselor in her school they are trained professional and theyh can get it out of her, it that isnt it try a tutor in her school, if your finances aren't there one of the older grade kids usully tutor the younger one in the morning or after school if not then try another tutor.
please keep us updated and good luk to all of you

Hi B.,
Both of our sons in the multiplication facts now, and we have had to resort to creating sticks and grouping them. I tell my when they have a problem like 4x4, that I see it as four groups of 4's.
example:
4x4=16 2x5=10 3x2=6
|||| ||||| |||
|||| |||||=10 |||=6
||||
||||=16

sticks work when nothing else has. I mean its an extra step yes but sometimes puttin a lil extra in it gives ya a little extra back! grouping is easy, but keep plenty of scratch paper!
best of luck!

Hi B., it may sound stupid but couseling. It helps my whole family and if she don't care, finding out why is important. My daughter has had that attitude for years and it has helped us since we started this last summer. If you don't get a grip you may start having other problems like anger.

I am curious about the responses. I have an 11 year old and we got midterm reports and o my.. He is not doing well. He just started 6th grade. I have just been having him bring home the math book even though they do mostly worksheets and i make out practice stuff for him. Once i pinpointed what he didn't understand in math It helped me to help him. Well i am hoping it works anyway. I am looking forward to hearing your other responses... Good luck

First of all rest assure that kids problems in school arent usually due to parental problems. the first thing to do is however you study with her make sure her dad does it the same way or it will just confuse her make sure you both do the same thing to help her. Multiplication is just hard anyway. my son had a hard time as well. He still struggles with it sometimes. no matter how good in school she use to be shes still gonna run into things that are gonna be hard. find a way to make it a game and see if it works.the biggest thing is be patient with her. good luck

B.,
I know that you have a deeper problem than age. However, I think age may be part of it. I have a 9 yr old daughter and until you started talking about being divorced I thought I had written that. LOL She is a wonderful Math student and can do her work wonderfully but we have had the hardest time with Multiplication. I think that your daughter needs to talk to someone. I do have a CD that has all the multiplications up to 12 on it. I will be glad to mail you a copy of it if you email me an address. ____@____.com
Good luck!
M.

Hey B.,

I was a Nanny for alot of years and I had one family that was a divorced couple. They have 3 girls. The oldest started out in Private and loved it. The second finally got in at Ensworth about the 3rd grade (finally passed test) she had a hard time but came to like it The 3rd got in but hated it so they put her in metro she loves it. I would let her decide where she wants to go I sure wouldnt let him make that decision Im sure the courts would agree to let her go if thats where she is going to do her best. It sounds to me that your ex is selfish and needs a wakeup call. If that doesnt set right then I would hire a tutor for her a good tutor knows how to make learning fun. Hope this helps

B.,

When I was learning my multiplication, nothing seemed to help. Flash cards extra work, nothing. Then I figured something out to help me understand it. Instead of looking at 5 * 5 = 25, I did this: 5 + 5 + 5 + 5 + 5 = 25. It's the same thing, just going about in a different way. 3 * 6 = 18. 3 + 3 + 3 + 3 + 3 + 3 = 18. You get the picture. It worked for me. Try it with your daughter. As far as the parent thing goes, all I can tell you is I'll pray for you and your family.
Try to have a good Thanksgiving.

K.

TALK TO HER. THAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO DO ASK HER WHERE SHE WANTS TO GO TO SCHOOL THEN IF NECESSARY GO BACK TO COURT TO GET HER WHAT SHE WANTS. IF YOU PUT OFF HANDELING THIS YOU MAY DO HER MOORE HARM THAN GOOD. THERE ARE OTHER VISITATION ARRANGEMENTS THAT CAN BE MADE. DO WHAT IS BEST FOR THE KIDS AND BY ALL MEANS DO NOT AND I CAN NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH DO NOT PUT THEM IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR PROBLEMS WITH THEIR DAD. GOOD LUCK.

i think this may sound stupid but i think the reason why your daughter isnt interested in math is because of the divorce she may feel as though her parents didnt try not that yall didnt because i dont know you thats your business i felt this way when i was a child n so she may think she doesnt have to try n e more or doesnt want to but i would offer rewards n also talk with her alone to find out what the problem is but the main problem may be she having a hard time dealing with the divorce no matter how long the divorce has been she may feel its her fault or something else is going on but talking with her may be the best thing n if she says she doesnt want to talk to you about it then you tell her when shes ready u r there to come to well good luck hope this helped i know i have two cousins 5 n 10 that have gone through this with in this last yr n they may seem fine but deep down they r not so good luck

I HAVE BEEN GOING THRU AND READING THE RESPONSES AND THEY ALL SOUND SILLY. A CHILD IS A CHILD WHY WOLD U LET A CHILD MAKE A GROWN UP DECISION. THAT IS WHATS WRONG WITH A LOT OF PARENTS TODAY THEY ARE NOT LETTING CHILDREN BE CHILDREN. CHILDREN SHOULD NOT BE MAKING LIFE CHANGING DECISIONS JUST SO THEY WILL ACT THE WAY U WANT THEM TO. IT WILL START WITH SCHOOL THEN CLOTHES THEN A PHN CAR AND BOYS WHAT NEXT? I AM YOUNG AND I RAISE MY SON OLD FASHIONED AND I HAVE NO PROBLEMS AT ALL WITH MY SON I AM ALLOWING HIM TO MAKE NORMAL CHILD LIKE DESCIONS HE HAS A RIGHT TO VOICE HIS OPINION BUT I AM A THE ADULT AND I WILL MAKE ALL FINAL DECISIONS CONSIDERING THAT HES ONLY IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. I DO AGREE WITH THE COUNSELING THOUGH BECAUSE MY PARENTS ARE DIVORCED AND I THINK THAT COUNSELING WOULD HAVE HELPED ME AND MY BROTHERS AT THAT TIME. SORRY TO BE SO BLUNT I HOPE THIS WILL HELP IF YOUR NOT OFFENDED.