Seeking Help with My Daughter's Lack of Appetite

Updated on August 27, 2008
A.A. asks from Raleigh, NC
21 answers

I have a 17 month old daughter. She is a very picky eater and actually doesn't eat very many solids and seems to prefer milk. The problem is that she is very active and, after a while, her stomach is empty. Then she goes into a cranky mode which, I assume, is because she is hungry but she doesn't eat any solids I give her. I tried to give her homemade mini pancakes, french toast, cereal, rice and lentils, macaroni and cheese, etc but she'll take one or two bites and then not eat any more. I don't want her to eat junk food like chips or cookies. Any suggestions are welcome.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone who responded to my request. I will try out the suggestions and am hoping that her appetite and desire for solids will improve.

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M.R.

answers from Wheeling on

My daughter was like this, but she loved fresh fruits and I would give her as much as desired. I would then try to add the starches because they have the calories. Years later she is still a fruit and vegetable eater but will eat 3 small regular meals a day.

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L.M.

answers from Charleston on

She may have allergies. My daughter is allergic to many things and tends to be attracted to things that she's allergic to. I've heard Dr. Jayaram is a good Dr.

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J.M.

answers from Memphis on

my oldest started that around the same age. He lived on milk, yogurt, applesauce, fruit cups, mac & cheese, and the gerber's toddler meals especially the ravioli. The pastas in these have no sauce which he said was yucky. The have some that are like tv dinners with an entree, veggie, and snack or that have some that are like the microwaveble chef boyardee foods. Only there made for picky toddlers and don't have all the added junk in the indredients.

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G.M.

answers from Raleigh on

I read this great book called "Child of Mine: feeding with Love and Good Sense" by Ellyn Satter. It helped me feel better about what my son was or was not eating. She explained that having set eating times (meals and snacks) really helps train a child to listen to their body and how much food it needs.

I'd read the whole book if I were you :) but in anut shell, toddlers will eat hardly anything one day and then like there is no tomorrow the next and that's ok. but if you allow them to "Graze" all day, they'll never learn to regulate their food intake.

You're doing great by giving her good foods instead of junk. I catch so much flack from my family for not giving my son juice and cookies. so KUDOS! :) I don't know if you have set meal times or not, but it's a good start. There will be some cranky days at the beginning but once she learns "hey, I better eat now because i'll have to wait until snack/dinner time" she'll eat better. Also, there will be some days that she doesn't eat a lot and that's ok as long as she's happy and healthy.

Keep it up and if you ever figure toddlers out, CALL ME? :)

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K.F.

answers from Nashville on

My 16 month old son is the same way. He won't eat any veggies at all. I give him vitamins and just keep trying to introduce foods to him. Try making dishes that you can disguise veggies in. My son likes chicken so I found a recipe for chicked with rice and carrots. I have found that he will eat the carrots if they are in little pieces mixed with the chicken and rice. The main thing is...just keep trying. Gerber also has some snacks that have some nutritional value so I give my son those. Good luck.

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A.R.

answers from Knoxville on

My child has always been like this and she is 4 yrs old. I make sure I offer her solids before milk or anything else to drink. No matter how much she eats she always drinks her milk but if she drinks milk or anything else she fills up and won't eat (or at least she thinks she is full). Even at four when we are at the dinner table we don't give her a drink until she has eaten a few good bites of her meal. It works like a charm for us.

P.S. Can I come to your house and eat?? Sounds like you make yummy food.

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R.B.

answers from Nashville on

Have you had her tonsils checked? My daughter didn't seem to want to eat much either. She also snored and was developing sleep apnea. I had her pediatrician check her tonsils and they were so large they were almost touching. Not infected or inflamed just large. We had them removed in May and now she eats like a teenage boy. I still have to watch her liquids too. Like the others she will fill up on milk or juice and then not want anything solid.

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K.K.

answers from Huntington on

ok at her age 16 ozs of milk should be about her limit so i would try cutting back the milk and then she should become hungrier the milk fills her belly up so she really has no room for much more

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A.H.

answers from Pine Bluff on

My son entered his toddlerhood picky. It's been a long battle, but it has paid off in the end. First of all, we switched from letting him have milk and juice between meals to getting a spill-proof water bottle. He fought it greatly for a while, preferring nothing over water. But now he comes and asks for a water bottle and almost never asks for milk or juice between meals. I think it has helped increase his meal-time appetite. I've also made sure he has a snack in the mornings because he's using more energy in the mornings. With naptime in the afternoon, he seems to not need it so much. Some other things we have done now that he's older (just turned two) have been to establish some table manners such as not leaving the table until at least a bite has been taken, etc, but 17 mos is probably a bit young to start that.

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P.T.

answers from Charlotte on

My grandson is 2 and he is very picky too! You may want to try yogurt, applesauce, cheese sticks, pizza, granola bars (which we call cookies), cheerios with or without milk.

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K.S.

answers from Raleigh on

I would try, pieces of melon, banana with peanut butter on each piece or sliced apple with pb. Green beans, frozen and cooked, avocado,kernel corn, cooked carrots, tiny pieces of boiled chicken,

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C.J.

answers from Hickory on

My son is also a very picky eater and he will eat grilled cheese. Also, on days where I feel as if he has not ate anything of substance, I give him some V8 V-fusion or Green Goodness from Bolthouse Farms (which someone from Mamasource had recommended to me.) The Green Goodness is found in the PRODUCE section at the grocery store. Wal-Mart carries it and you can look on their website to find other stores that carry it in your area.

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I.W.

answers from Greensboro on

If you're not already doing this.....let her snack. Some moms will tell you not to encourage snacking as they will never sit down to a meal again. Not true. This is a phase. Seems like they're always going through some kind of phase, doesn't it?!

She's just a typical toddler and is on a mission to explore her world. Getting her to slow down for eating will be hard to do. I'm thinking this is the age we introduced the "snack tray". An ice cube tray and only filled it with healthy items. Some dry cereal, cheese cubes, and other items that can stay out all day. Put it within in her reach. She can partake when she wants. Her blood sugar levels stay constant. She's never starving. And she only has acces to healthy foods. There was quite a chunk of time when DS would not even eat a real meal with us. But now he's getting back to where he will. This is just what toddlers do. You can't make her eat. But you can choose what she eats. So just keep offering healthy foods.

This is also the age when they are really into self feeding too. So another benefit to the snack tray is that she can self feed and use those hands. And also, what seems like a snack to us can be a meal to her. So she may be getting more than you think.

I love me some Dr. Sears (and his whole dang family!). Here are some links with excellent tips.

FEEDING TODDLERS: 17 TIPS FOR PLEASING THE PICKY EATER
http://askdrsears.com/html/3/T030800.asp

FEEDING AT A GLANCE: Birth - 24 months
http://askdrsears.com/html/3/T030500.asp

Shaping Young Tastes
http://askdrsears.com/html/3/T031900.asp

Good luck!

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T.H.

answers from Louisville on

Hello!
I am not sure if you are aware of this or not but milk itsef can be filling. I learned this when my now 8 year old was smaller. She just wanted to drink milk all day as well. Our pediatrician told me limit milk to like 3 cup per day. I realize that they need so much dairy so we just got our dairy more through cheeses and yogurt. So that's what we did. It did help. This may help. Also I was told some kids that drink too much milk will develope white spots on their teeth. I think they are called calcium deposits or something like that. They don't come off. So keep this in mind also. My daughter has only one white spot on one of her bottom teeth. I am so glad it isn't on her front top teeth. Imagine how I would have felt if that had happened. Good Luck!!! T. H

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V.A.

answers from Charlotte on

This sounds sooo familiar. I just went to the ped. with the same question. My 19 month is a picky eater... I thought. He asked was she drinking milk. I said "yes, 18-24 or more oz. a day." U can imagin the look. Well she was filling up on liquid. I was determind to make her eat. So at lunch I gave her whatever we (me and her older sis) were eating and if she didn't want it she could go to nap on an empty tummy. I always heard a child won't starve and will eat when they are hungary. I did feed her a good dinner so she'd sleep good. So as soon as I stopped with the liquids and just give her the drink at the end of the meal she eats MUCH better. I just wanted her to get enough liquids (which she was!). Her sis is and alway has been a big drinker also but a good eater. But not it's all changing slowly... Some days are better than others but it's changing... Sooo u might have the same problem... Maybe not. Good Luck!

V. (SAHM of two)

www.CraftLister.com/ValerieAltman
(Unique Candle Creator)

www.ValerieEssentials.etsy.com

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M.T.

answers from Raleigh on

She sounds like she is very strong willed. The trouble is she has found out if she cries enough you will break down and give her milk. It is easier to get full on milk. Try many things with her. Even things you yourself may not like. Cheerios was a great thing my kids loved. Baby cooked carrots, peas, green beans, banana chunks, peaches, mini raviolis. There are a ton of things that you can try. Just dont bombbard her all at once. I would try placing 2-3 very small amounts of different foods on her tray of her high chair and let her decide what she wants to eat. If it is a choice she gets to make it may help her better to eat. She knows she is distressing you. It sounds like a power struggle because they cannot control too many things. Once you find a few things she likes let her eat those and then a week or 2 later add some more new foods. You can also feed her applesauce, yogurt, and pudding. Lots of flavors out there for her to try.

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S.W.

answers from Nashville on

Have you tried making smoothies? Put in fruits,carrots, along with yogurt. She'll get some good stuff and won't realize it

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S.J.

answers from Greensboro on

A.,
I understand your situation, my sons all went thru this stage at different ages. They all eventually grew outta it. Some of the firsts that they LOVED were eggs in basket (make toast, remove a hole from center of it, put in frying pan and crack egg into hole)not sure why but they did. Creamed chip beef on toast was a favorite too. Cereal like cheerios, apple jacks, goldfish crackers (flavor blasted are the best) anything that pops easily in the mouth.
Hope this helps

S.
www.ShazzArtisticVisions.com

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M.T.

answers from Nashville on

Mine did the same thing and still does. They go through spurts. I wouldn't worry too much as long as you are giving her a vitamin every day and offering the food for her to eat. She will eat when she gets hungry. I think what you are going through is normal.

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T.K.

answers from Fayetteville on

It may sound crazy - but just keep HEALTH choices of snacks around for her to have when she is hungry. My boys are 7,5, and 2 and there are still days that our most "successful" meals where they eat well are what we call "snack meals" where I cut up celery, carrots, cheese, fruit, etc.

If she flat out doesn't seem to get what you think are the right nutrients in a day - try adding some Carnation Instant Breakfast to her milk. My now 2 year old did the same thing around the 18 month mark and I just started adding CIB to a cup of milk each day.

Good Luck, She will hopefully grow out of it soon.
T.

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P.G.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi A.
Maybe try to offer smaller meals more often through the day. If she only takes in a small amount, just keep making that and then offer 5-6 small meals instead of 3 main meals.
One thing my son loves to eat is tofu smoothies. I take extra firm tofu and blend it with a little milk and then a cooked orange veggie (like carrots or butternut squash), a serving of fruit (bananas, pears) and then I add a little cinnamon and curry and blend it. It contains lots of good vitamins and not a lot of bad things.
Good luck
P.

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