S.,
This is what worked for me. After you deliver your baby, hold and try to nurse as soon as possible. This really can be within minutes of delivery. Don't let them take the baby until you have had at least an hour together after delivery. There isn't anything they need to do right away that they can't do in the delivery room.
Room in with your baby, and nurse ON DEMAND at the hospital. My second and third were roomed in, and I swear I was up the first 24 hours nursing after delivery. I also slept with my baby in the bed that first night at the hospital. No, you are not supposed to do it, but really, it's your baby, and if you can both sleep I think that you can make those decisions for yourself. This allowed me to get 3-4 hours of sleep in a row, which made me feel much much better!
The first week you may literally be nursing every 15 to 30 minutes during the day. YES it is exhausting, yes you will think you will never get any sleep, and yes, it should work. The first 6 weeks nurse on demand. Use yourself as a pacifier, that's what makes your milk come in good and strong. Don't worry about spoiling your baby. Don't worry about people telling you that you are nursing too often, or that you need a better schedule. If your baby cries or fusses, or sucks on her fingers, offer your breast. Once you get past 6 weeks, it will be much much easier, and your milk supply should be established and you can start to hold off more between feedings (like every 2 hours or so during the day), and if you need a schedule, you can start one around that time. If you need to offer a bottle, that's a good point to start that as well. My kids never really took bottles but I'm lucky to stay home, and it's worked out ok so far.
I see a pediatrician who is a lactation consultant. See someone before your baby is born to have questions answered, sometimes OB's are not the best resource for answering breastfeeding questions. Unfortunately, sometimes pediatricians are not either.
Another great resource is the yoga studio Blooma over in Edina. They have great staff, classes, and prenatal breastfeeding classes. You may also benefit from a breastfeeding class at your hospital, but in my experience they didn't really introduce the nurse on demand idea and the reality of how much nursing that will be.
With a toddler at home, get some help. Have your Mom come, or your MIL, or sister, BFF or anyone who can come play with your other baby. Something that helped me was to have a basket of books right next to where I nursed, so that while I was nursing, I could read to my older child. That way they felt included.
Good for you for asking for help before hand, and know that you are doing the best for your baby no matter what happens.
***One more thing - my milk didn't come in until I was home from the hospital with any of my 3 babies. I agree with other posters, you baby DOES NOT NEED FORMULA just because you don't have milk yet. Your baby is getting all it needs in the pre-milk that comes in first. You might be tempted to give your baby a bottle at the hospital (especially if you have nurses who don't support breastfeeding), but you have all your baby needs at that point.
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
Jessica