Seeking Info from Other Moms Who Have Middle School Age Asperger Kids.

Updated on February 04, 2011
J.W. asks from Sugar Grove, IL
9 answers

I have a ten yo son who will be entering 6th grade middle school next year. He has what I call "aspergers' light." He has much empathy for others, but he is so very immature and often does not recognize that certain things he does is irritating to others.

Does anyone have any recommendations or suggestions that I should make sure get added to his IEP w/regards to socialization?

Also, is there a way to post this question into an aspergers thread? (This is my first post and I am not very familiar with this forum.)

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.R.

answers from Lawrence on

Hi there fellow Aspie mom!
my son just entered in 6th grade and like J we are big on the O.A.S.I.S bible you can find it at http://www.aspergersyndrome.org/ another site is http://www.aspergerfriends.com/IEP.html the following site has a sample letter and iep and iep goals for aspies, http://aspergersyndrome.org/Articles/Sample-Letter-to-IEP... i used the letter and all the iep info for my son and we have a great iep in place. one thing i do say is that you keep close tabs on your childs progress and make sure they do follow the iep (some schools dont) and also maybe for light sensitivty use colored paper we use a blue grey paper for my son and it helps wonders! if you want to vent or just chat my email is ____@____.com feel free to shoot me an email!

1 mom found this helpful

S.R.

answers from Chicago on

My son is in 6th grade and was recently diagnosed with Aspergers They won't give an IEP. They have been doing social skills classes without one. They say a lot of reminders and patience. It is stressful.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.V.

answers from Allentown on

Hi Momma,

First and foremost there are 2 plans of attack with the school. First, your son is protected under the IDEA and it would probably behoove you to get a book called "The Complete IEP Guide" if you feel that he has special education needs. This book will help you get through the process. I have not read it, but it comes recommended.

Second, you can either go the route of an IEP which will protect him in and you can design it to address his educational needs should he need special instruction.

Third, you can ask to have a Section 504 if you feel that he is academically sound, but would llike to address his social needs.

There are some important differences between the 2. My son has a Section 504 which addresses his issues which are noise sensitivity providing him with preferential seating in the classroom and at assemblies to reduce distractions. He gets overwhelmed easily and can take breaks or leave the room. He also can take extra time on a test if he becomes overwhelmed. Section 504's are not designed for specialized instruction.

From what I gather from your post, you are trying to make certain that the friends he makes are really friends and trying to avoid bullying situations. You may ask that he is placed closer to the teacher so she can observe the social interaction with his peers. If he does make real friends, you can also ask that they are with him the following year. We also ask that he gets to meet his next year's teacher before the school year ends because new and unfamiliar situations are very stressful for him. Once he has a clue it reduces his stress levels.

I would strongly recommend that you educate yourself in regard to your/his rights. Do not let him go without either one or the other protections, simply because the school is not legally obligated to do anything for him or you should something come up.

My "bible" has been the OASIS Guide to Asperger Syndrome for many years.

My son is going into 8th grade this year, a new school building and will be riding the bus with high school kids. I am totally sweating bullets! If you need more info or just wanna talk, feel free to message.

Best of luck!
J

M.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

My older son is a freshman in high school and was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome when he was in grade 5. He is on the mild side of the spectrum, but has an IEP. He gets re-tested every three years, and I meet with a whole team at the school twice a year to go through his IEP and make adjustments where necessary.

We transferred to a new school district at the beginning of this year, and they have a special program for kids with Aspergers and the case worker is the best I've ever worked with.

When my son was younger, the social skills were automatically added to his IEP - that helped a lot. My son still struggles socially with kids his own age, and that is hard as a parent to see.

It is important to be your child's advocate and make sure you can get everything he needs in his IEP - and hold the school accountable for the IEP also. There have been cases where some teachers didn't know my son had one. Again, the school district we are in right now is the best I've experienced.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Chicago on

I am bringing up my sisters son who is 8 years old.We now think he has aspergers and are waiting for a definite diagnosis.He to has lots of problems with socialising and being immature.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.T.

answers from New York on

I know this is late but I just thought I would add something. My daughter is in kindergarten and there has been some discussion about getting her evaluated for Asperger's. My brother is a special education teacher and has advised me to wait and to help her outside the system if possible. IEPs are helpful but a lot of people don't realize that if your child has an IEP into high school, he or she will graduate with an IEP diploma and there are not a lot of colleges that will take accept them.

There are a lot of books and resources available if you want to help your child with social skills outside of school. Or you can pay to take him to an occupational therapist, which will not affect his school diploma but, at his age you may want to avoid an IEP because it may take a while to declassify him later and you'd need to do so in time for him to take the regents to have an IEP free diploma.

Updated

I know this is late but I just thought I would add something. My daughter is in kindergarten and there has been some discussion about getting her evaluated for Asperger's. My brother is a special education teacher and has advised me to wait and to help her outside the system if possible. IEPs are helpful but a lot of people don't realize that if your child has an IEP into high school, he or she will graduate with an IEP diploma and there are not a lot of colleges that will take accept them.

There are a lot of books and resources available if you want to help your child with social skills outside of school. Or you can pay to take him to an occupational therapist, which will not affect his school diploma but, at his age you may want to avoid an IEP because it may take a while to declassify him later and you'd need to do so in time for him to take the regents to have an IEP free diploma.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I just recently saw a very good blog/article on the subject and think it must have been here on mamapedia (but I can't seem to find it). I know it led me to socialthinking.com, and you're likely to find some good ideas there. Best of luck! I'm gearing up for my first IEP with my son entering Kindergarten and am reminding myself how good we have it now with all the kids so young and innocent....

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from New York on

It was recommended that my son have weekly 1 hr with the school psychologist 1:1, 1hr with the resource teacher in a group setting where they support the kids scholastically, and one hour Speech & Language. I felt this was overkill, especially the psychologist, as my son is quite high functioning. But it turned out great support. As a team we were able to identify problems early and intervene, and at times of crisis there was always a trained adult there. 7th gr S&L dropped us and he assists in the office 1 hr weekly, a great place to learn practical skills and have some respect from your peers. Page 8 of your IEP is important. For my son I make sure he keeps extra times on exams and the option to modify homework (which I never had to exercise but it was a relief to know I could), you should fight hard for the modifications your child needs. Most of all TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! You really do know best and remember you can modify the IEP midyear if it is not providing the support he needs, Socializing is tough, I have taken the stance that it is not a problem for me if it is not a problem for him. He measures social success differently. I did make sure they didn't sacrifice PE for support services, kids have little down time and it is a safe place for him to work those social skills head on. Hope this is helpful. So far middle school has been a good experience for all involved.

R.D.

answers from San Francisco on

My grandson who is now 11 has had Aspergers since the age of 4. His school should be made aware of his disposition only because like my grandson, he doesn't understand that he is being irritating. He should also have an EA (Educational Assistant) working with him if they are available in your area. Even though he is "light" it is best that he gets the help needed at such an important stage in his young life. You can also post this thread on Behavior or Child if you would like and you will get more comments. You are okay where you are now but if more advice is required go to the other sites mentioned. Good luck with your son and I wish you the best.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions