My daughter is a single mom of a beautiful 14month old girl. She and the father were not in a relationship. She went through the pregnancy alone because the father didn't want her to have the baby. The father finally met the baby when she was 4 months old, but was very inconsistent in being a constant in her life and that still hasn't changed. But anytime he wanted to see her, my daughter allowed him to do so and never kept her from him, but my daughter was always present. She finally decided to file for child support with the AG's office and go through the process and when the first meeting was scheduled, the father hired an attorney and took it out of the AG's office and put it right in court. He filed for joint custody. Shocked, she had no other choice but to hire an attorney to help her. There were some temporary orders that the attorneys tried to work out without the judge's involvement with "unsupervised" visits until mediaton happened, but three days into it, we noticed a huge change in her behavior such as aggression, irritibility, confusion not to mention she had been in the late stages of weaning off the breast, and immediately when she returned home after a 5 hour day, she would want to be nursed and she would frantically go back and forth on each breast. We are very concerned with this sudden change in her routine, and what it may be doing to her emotinally..and like I said, she recognizes her father, but she doesn't really know him as her father. Sadly, he is more like a stranger to her. I know every situation is different and each issue should be considered in these types of situations, but I'd just like to know if anyone is familiar with what goes on with custody and visitation issues in Texas? Whether it be in mediation or before a judge? Will the judge be aware of the history or does it even matter to the court? It is my understanding that most courts, including Texas, are awarding joint custody most of the time. Because of this, that's why I'm wondering what all can be presented to the court when you are doing what you think is best for your child. FYI..the father has 2 previous DWI's, no residence, so when he does come to visit, he is in a hotel..his job keeps him away (in the state of Texas) every other week, but there are times when he works for a few weeks at a time. We are just trying to prepare for the next step and I just would like some info as to what others might have experienced in a Texas court and/or mediation, but knowing there is no exact situation alike. Thanks and God Bless.
I don't know who you hired for an attorney but, call David Wukoson and let him get this fixed. My daughter went through a very nasty abusive relationship with the father of her child. If it had not been for David and Ron his partner it would have been a disaster. You can find his number on the internet.
I'm sure your daughter's lawyer will go over this with her.
Document, document, document. I hope she has a pitbull lawyer, meaning he/she will go all balls out to fight for your daughter/granddaughter. If it were me, I would go after SOLE custody and maybe offer 2 hour SUPERVISED visits once every other weekend and that is IT. He is an alcoholic, homeless and jobless (take documents, emails, whatever you have to court to PROVE this). I would want nothing to do with him. Lots of kids are raised without fathers and do just fine. Please note, that once the judge rules, it is VERY difficult to have it changed. Just my opinion. Good luck.
Lawyer. I know it's hard to wait and see, but that's who will know. In deciding what's best for her child, your daughter needs to honestly decipher whether the baby's dad genuinely wants to help raise his daughter, or if he's ONLY trying to save money by getting joint custody (I think your daughter having full custody is his most expensive scenario-but not sure-LAWYER) and actually has no affection for the daughter and then see what is possible for her. It stinks she wasn't in a relationship with the baby's father, but she wasn't. It's still his child too. He didn't want her to give him a child, but she did, and if he's going to be paying for 18 years, he's entitled to be part of it if he wants. To what degree? LAWYER! Good luck!
If you have a lawyer, please contact them!!! And please -- If you do not have one then get one quickly. You really need someone to protect you.
You do not want him to take the baby for a visit just the two of them along. Let this be known. I hope her lawyer let the judge know this.
Does he truly want to be her father? If so - and I am sure it is difficult - it may be best for the child to be raised by two parents - even if they are not together. If this is the case - she will come to love her dad as well as her mom. If he is trying to intimidate your daughter and doesn't really want to parent - I am sure he will figure that out once he realizes what being a father truly entails.
And fair is fair. If he is supposed to contribute financially 50:50 - why should he not have the same joys and trials of parenthood as your daughter. After all - she had a choice in bearing this child - he did not.
A lot of fathers come to visit the kids in completely different states so their visits take place in hotels or with family or friends letting the visiting parent stay with them. Those are not valid arguments and they will just make you look petty.
She is a breastfed baby, that is your biggest support for the baby not going anywhere away from the mom. The dad will win visitation but if the judge wants to support the breastfeeding they may not do visits where the baby is away from mom for more than a couple of hours until she is weaned.
Feel for you, I hate custody hearings.
Documentation is going to be the biggest asset here. Make sure your daughter's lawyer knows all of this, and get as much documentation as you can to prove it. You could also ask for a guardian ad litem to be appointed to your granddaughter. That person would be responsible for making sure that the child's best interests are represented. They will be able to see more of what is happening, and make sure that the ruling is truly going to benefit your Granddaughter in every way.
Document everything you describe above in detail with dates and times and give it to an attorney and hope and pray and pay for the best.....
And this is why it's best to abstain from sex until you really love the person.
