Hi L.,
After extensive research, I chose the Tae Kwon Doe program at Sokol on East 71st street - www.sokolnewyork.org. There are several choices in the area, but this one seemed to have the best balance of elements for which I was seeking: age-appropriate instruction, fun, discipline, and age-appropriate competition. Other schools I audited were heavily into fun/entertainment and light on actual instruction. These kids did seem to enjoy it, they were promoted often which they and their parents liked, however I felt that if my son were to engage in a martial art it should be more about participating and respecting the art and the culture, than getting the "trophy" (or higher belt). I thought it should be different than his multi-sport class (Cavaliers - which I highly recommend as well) I also waited until he was in the 1st grade to start, but I have seen the classes for the younger children and they are learning, enjoying it, and feeling very proud of their accomplishments even though they only have a chance for promotion once per year.
Additionally, the other schools cost considerably more and there are many extra fees throughout the term. Promotion tests and equipment cost extra, often more than $100. So it feels like the students are buying their belts rather than earning them.
Also at Sokol as opposed to many other schools, they follow more traditional and standard requirements for rank promotions so that the students are learning the entire range of skills. Tournaments and exhibitions are also offered for students who enjoy competition and like to showcase their skills. The owner/Master of the school is Amanda Haddock who seems rough and tough at first but is a lovely, warm hearted person who is dedicated to the kids, loves them and they love her.
Incidentally, after watching my son take classes there for 2 years, I decided to join their evening adult class and it is great fun, an excellent workout, and a reall treat to myself. I'm now in my 3rd year and I feel great about what I've accomplished - especially at my age (late 40s!)
Good Luck,
Kathryn