Seeking Mom's Advice on Dieting for a 14 Year Old.

Hi L.,

First of all, I would start (like other moms said H.) with not buying junk food, and not cooking with too much fat. Basically, no french fries, no chip potatoes, no ice cream of any kind, no cookies, no sugars, and so on.
Portions meals are VERY important together with exercise. She should be eating 5 or 6 balanced meals a day. It sounds a lot for you I guess, but I am talking about SMALL portions. For instance, the size of a piece of chicken breast (no other part of the chicken, too fattening) would be the size of your palm, a cup of salad with no other dressing than olive oil, pinch of salt and may be some lemon o vinegar..This is just an example. No juices at all unless they are from real fruit made at home. Portions are everything! If she is hungry and craves for sugars, smoothies are the best. I usually get frozen fruits, I thawed them and I mix them with plain yoghurt. Nuts are good for snacking too..but....just a handful daily.
I have learned all of this by myself, and I lose weight in that way after every pregnancy. Do not starve her, that would be worst. Get 1% milk for her no whole or skim milk if she likes it. Lots of fruits, mix them!
Anyway I would take her to the doctor so she/he can take a look at her and give you more professional input about it.
Make a lifestyle of it, and she will be OK. At the beginning is very hard to change habits..very hard, It happened to me, but when I could put my old jeans on again...it felt sooooooooooooooo good!!!!
Start with small changes (no ice cream twice a week..) watch PORTIONS!! Have your daughter do some exercise, whatever she likes, walking, running, jumping the rope, gardening..No too much TV. Do you have a dog? take a walk with her and the dog...Encourage her to MOVE...and say nice things to her when she is doing good and eating well.

I hope this helps you. I know it is not easy, but I am sure that it will lasts than going on a diet.
REMEMBER: Do not make this thing look like a diet, it is not...She can eat healthy balanced foods in the right portions. Balanced? (watch that her plate has many colors: greens, yellows, red, browns...) portions??? SMALLS....

Good Luck!!
Alejandra

Hey L.,
I am a school nurse and I can tell you that since your daughter is only 14, her doctor would appreciate regulating her diet more than you. Not that you would do anything to put her in harms way but to help you do it safely that will not affect her continued growth and nutrients she needs. As far as her period is concerned, it is very normal for a teenager to start her period and skip a cycle or two. Let the doctor know of course but chances are they are not going to get to worked up unless there are other factors involved such as sexually active or any other physical symptoms of anything being wrong. Hope this helps. mb

Make it a family goal, and not just something that your daughter does. Eating healthy and staying active benefits everyone, including those who are not overweight. You can be the best role model for your daughter, and this way she doesn't feel isolated or pressured.

As far as her period, it might not be regular yet because she just started, but if you are concern you should talk to a doctor.

Hi! I have a little sister who was always heavy. She turned 13 in November. 3 months before she turned 13 she decided she was ready to lose the weight. My mom had gotten her into weight watchers and curves and stuff in the past, but unfortunately in this particular situation, my mother isn't the best role model. She would quit every diet regime she put her into (she was always joining herself at the same time). Anyway, one thing I noticed was that it was Sara, my sister, who had to be ready in her case. My mom cooks fattening foods and has junk food around the house a lot, but when I'd tell her that she should think about not buying it, she always had an excuse, like "well, Sara doesn't eat very much of it" or "well, I have to have it for Christian's (my little brother) lunches." She also always said that it "must be something medical" or "she's big boned". Total denial. Mom just didn't know a life without junk food. I tried to explain to her that we don't have any ho ho's and stuff around our house, and our kids don't ever complain about not having snacks. So, what I'm saying, is first look and see if there's anything you can do around the house that may help her any, without you actually coming to her and telling her that you're making some changes. You definitely don't want to make her more sensitive about her weight. If that doesn't work, see if she comes around on her own in the next year or so. Sara, just since August, is down to about 130, and she's about 5'4", so she's in the normal range. She just doesn't eat mom's junk food, and cut way back on her portions to lose it. It really takes a lot of willpower though, so I truly believe that the person has to want to do it on their own. Otherwise, you're going to find that she's sneaking snacks and stuff like that at times.

That's alot for a 14 year old...how tall is she? How does she eat...like what kinds of things and how often? If she's eating the propperly proportioned meals and they're propperly balanced and she's getting plenty of exercise, then she may have a medical problem causeing this excess weight. I had this friend when I was a kid...she was so very over weight and the kids used to tease her all the time. She barely ate and when she did eat it was mostly vegetables...there was no reason in the world why she should have been so heavy...so she thought. Finally by the time she was in high school, her mom took her to the doctor because she just kept getting bigger...they found out that she had a thyroid problem of some sort. The doctor put her on medication to control her thyroid and with the meds and the propper exercise and balanced meals, the weight did come off. Now as far as her period...that could be caused by a few different things. Stress can make you miss, illness can make you miss, lack of a propper diet can make you miss, (I personally can verify this) if your weight drops to low it can make you miss, so I can only assume that if it goes way to high that she might miss, and she's only 14 so it's possible that she's missing her period because her body just isn't sure if it wants her to have it yet or not. But yeah, definately take her to the doctor...ask them to test for thyroid issues and if that comes back fine, then have the doctor set up a diet and excercise regimine for her and be sure that she sticks to it. It's easier to lose the weight now while she's young, than when she gets in her like 30's when the metabolism slows and gravity takes over. And tell her don't cry. It's not so important what she looks like on the outside, it's who she is on the inside that matters...and if people can't accept her at her worst then they don't deserve her at her best. People come in all shapes and sizes.

i wouldnt go running to the doctor just because she has missed her second period, it may take up to 2 years for a girl to get her cycle in order, that is what my doctor told me when i started mine because for the first year i wasnt regular, i wouldnt worry about that but you sould make her an appointment sometime in the next 6 months just for a check up girls should go every 2 years from the time they start and then every year once they turn 18, and also now would be a good time to get both of your girls on that new HPV vaccine they can start taking it as young as 9 years old, and it only takes 6 months and 3 shots to have the vaccine in your body, it is best to do it when you are very young because then you havent been sexually active and not likely to be exposed to the virus, (BTW i am what you would call the poster child for making sure i hit the doctor every 12 months for my paps, and have been sense i started my period when i was 12), as far as the weight issue, see if you can get her inrolled in some after school programs at the Y, or even the community center the extra exercise that she will do there will diffanitly help. also you can look up diets online you can get alot of info there as to what she should or should not be eating, good luck and keep posted on whats going on

I think joining weight watchers would be great for her. She would have to get a Dr's note saying it's ok to join along with a recommended weight for her. I think WW works great for kids (and adults) because it has junk food built into the program. There are no restrictions on what you eat....just the amounts and how often you can have it. That way she can still save up her points with time out with friends and they might never notice she is dieting except for the weight loss. No one likes to be excluded during good times that involve food. Maybe if you have some to lose you could join together! As for her period, I think it's pretty normal to be abnormal in the beginning.

K.

I have this same problem with my daughter. My daughter is 9 and weighs 120lbs. I started working out with her (Turbo Jam & Tae Bo) daily. We eat better not diet and she is losing weight. Please do it with her so that she is not singled out. I also have my 13 and 3 year old do it with us some days just so its a "family" getting fit and healthly together. As far as her period my 13 year old started at 11 for 1 day and it did not come again until she was 12. We did not go to the doctor we just waited it out.

I suggest going to see a dietitian. They could help to either figure out why your daughter is overweight by analyzing her diet and habits or they could just suggest a healthier diet for her. If money is a problem, I would try calling WIC. I've used their services for my little one, and at one point in the program we had to sit in on a presentation given by a dietitian. So, maybe they could help you.

As for her period, I would wait to see if it all gets evened out over time before going to see a doctor. I had the same thing happen to me when I was young.

You might want to take your daughter to a gyn and ask about pcos (polycystic ovarion syndrome) That is known for weight issues and very abnormal periods. I have it also. It has become very popular. It is nothing bad but in severe cases it can lead to diabetes and cancer. It also causes depression. If you take her to the gyn they will probably put her on birth control. It helps with they pcos. PCOS is also known for causing cysts on the ovaries which can be pretty painful. They will be able to diagnose your daughter better than anyone else when it comes to that. Let me know how it goes. Good luck.

Just some advise. I would take her to her doctor and ask them about the period stopping, but she is only 14 and the period is new to her. Since she is only 14, girls bodies go through a weird period in their teens and being a little heavy isn't abnormal, unless your family is genetically thin and all her aunts and uncles are genetically thin then I would worry alittle. Plus, eat healthy and get her involved in some kind of sport or exercise program at a gym. Hope that helps.

I am not saying this is the problem but it could be.... Maybe she has PCOS? Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. The reason I sugges this is because she has started her period at a later age, so did I, and weight problems are typicl. They give you a med called metformin that has helped me regulate my weight since, maintain regular periods etc.
I read someone suggested that you work out with her, I encourage you to do that, join an ALL WOMEN's gym so she feels comfortable and eat really healthy, prepare these meals for the whole family so she doesn't feel singled out, it will be good to eliminate all junk food and cook fish and chicken with veggies etc...

Have her checked for that, it will make her life so much easier and when she's ready to get pregnant as an adult she will do so easily if she has been on metformin (I read startign girls early on avoids so many fertility probs as adults)
Best of luck!
Amy

Excise with her. Make excising and make eating right fun. She's only 14, she is going to be going to high school where a lot of kids are going to pick on her. She needs to see a nutritionist and join the Y and I think the might have personal trainers for her not sure. I was a size 18 in high school and had hardly any friends what so ever!! Most of friends where guy friends and only because they were friends with my brother first. I was happy until my mother started telling me I was to fat to go to prom and such things like that. She made and still makes my life miserable So please, whatever you do, try to keep up your daughters self esteem and be a sweet and loving mother about this, do not insult her!! I am 26 and still feel the pain from what my mother has said to me growing up and what she continues to say about me and my husbands weight. What's really bad is she's only a size smaller than me.As for the period thing. I personally would wait a few more months unless you think she's sexually active. I think you would have mentioned that if you thought that though. Um, give it a couple more months and then go to the doctor. She needs to start seeing a OBGYN now that she is a woman!!

Unless your daughter is sexually active, I don't think you need to take her to the doctor with concerns about her period. It's common for girls to be very irregular at first. It's also common for obese (and underweight) girls to have irregular periods in general.
Although I don't think her period warrants a visit to the doctor, her weight might. Thankfully, we're going into a wonderful season of weather (not this week, haha!) and so there's something great you can do with your daughter-- go for walks! Instead of focusing on how far you walk, focus on how many minutes you walk. I would start with 25 minutes and try to work up to an hour a day by this summer. To encourage myself to walk, I take my dog with me-- he notices when a day passes by! In a week or so, I'll have my baby to take with me, which will also be great motivation to shed these baby pounds. In addition to walking, make sure you get rid of any snacks in your home that your daughter seems to gravitate toward, and buy a big water bottle for her to make sure she's drinking 64 oz. of water a day or more-- sometimes drinking more water is all it takes to lose a few pounds. :)
Sorry this is so long; I wish your daughter the best!

Hey there,
I have mentioned Juice PLus in several occasions, and I am a Juice Plus representative but Juice Plus might be a good starting place. 5 % of children area getting the fruits and veggies they need. Juice Plus is like adding 4-5 servings of fruits and veggies a day. I am not sure what your diet is but if you aren't getting 9-13 a day and your daughter isn't, by adding Juice Plus to your diet many people begin to crave more fruits and veggies and their cravings for sweets and junk decrease, allowing one to lose weight. I have a wonderful brochure. Not to mention that at her age, she can take Jucie Plus for a year at no cost if you were to commit to taking Juice Plus for a year yourself. The other thing I recommend is Kids by Catt. They are getting kids active with a good start; they also offer parental support, and the parents an dkids see therapists to figure out what kind of eating issues a child has (if any). Many people emotionally eat. For example, if I am feeling down I get a chocolate bar. They are trying to pinpoint what is going on and why it is happening while instilling healthy eacting and exercise habits.
Let me know if you would like more information about Juice Plus. YOu can view some results here www.childrensresearch.org
Good luck!
As for the period thing, it is totally normal to now be regular for a long time.
Some people are never regular.

Hi I am 25 years old and I have the same problem as your daughter. I have had this problem ever since I was her age. I would have my period one month and then could go 6 months with out having another one. I am also over weight and have been to several doctors to find out what I can do to get on a regular schedule with my period they only thing that they doctors could tell me was birth control and that it would help if I lost some weight. So you might want to try helping your daughter lose some weight and see if that will help before freaking out to much and rushing her to the doctor. Things that I have noticed that have helped me lose weight is calotren. I know it is expensive but it really works and it is all natural. All she has to do is not eat or drink anything 3 hours before she goes to bed and just take the caltren before she goes to sleep and it will help her out. I have been on it for the last 5 months and I have already lost 40 pounds. http://www.tophealthsource.com/ here is the website if you want to check it out. Also since it has been so nice out lately walking and excersing should help as well. That is what I have been doing. Also remember don't get upset if you are not seeing the pounds drop really fast she will lose inches a lot quicker than she will pounds so just watch her inches melt away.

Hope this has been of some help.

C.

Maybe try simple things first. Eliminate soda pop, no snacking after 7pm. Get her away from a TV more, by helping around the house or yard. Try to cut back on carbs and high fructose corn syrup, that stuff is like poison and in EVERYTHING. It really is no wonder we all struggle with this issue.

Perhaps if she sees/feels some improvement with small steps it will encourage her to make additional changes. I don't think very many people respond well to jumping on diets. Usually you feel deprived in 48 hours and quit altogether.

cut back on the fatty foods and eliminate soda have her join a sport for the exercise and i wouldnt worry too much about her period because sometimes it takes awhile to get it regulated esp due to her starting at a later date

I would discuss the options with your family doctor. Cutting out the junk food and pop is a start, but it sounds like she will need exercise as well. Good luck,
J.