Seeking Moms - Staten Island, NY

Sorry for the delay in the response. You always have to remember that the developmental milestones go alone with how old the child would be if she was born on time. So developmentally she should only be doing things a 3 month old would do at this time. Easrly intervention really helps and it is really an issue now because there are so many milestones at the same time.

I know how hard it can be to have a premie. My nephew was born at 29 weeks gestation. My sister-in-law and I were due 2 days apart. Tech Will is almost 7 months old but Developmentally he is almost 4 months old. He is doing the samethings as my daughter who is 3 1/2 months old.
Good Luck and Enjoy every moment that you have together! Before you know it she will be a Sassy little toddler!!!

Early Intervention is a great program. My daughter was also a preemie, born 3 months early. She was delayed in a lot of areas. Through the services of Early intervention she was back on track by the age of 4. Today she is 10 and in some areas above her age level. Good Luck. Everything will be fine

Hi S.,

Take heart. She will do everything that every sweet baby does and more. Mine is now 15 months and was born 2 months early at 2 pounds. She rolled over for the first time at 6 months, sat at 9 months, crawled at 13 months and stood up at 14 months. She is still not walking but on her way to doing so. My point is that she has been examined by the brightest and best and everyone says she is cognitively alert, doing very well and will get there and some very soon. I encourage you to have early intervention just in case there are other issues, but I am almost positive that everything will be fine. I am also a 43 year old stay at home Mum and our input into the growth and development is very important.

S. -
I can relate. I have two children - one born 17 weeks early and one 16 weeks (yes - micro-preemies!). My son did not roll over till he was almost 10 months and my daughter about the same. They walked at 17 & 20 months and my daughter did not eat solids till she was 18 months. Preemies do things in their own time. Early intervention is critical and I took full advantage of anything that was offered to me. Our states Birth to Three program is phenominal and I credit them (as well as the TLC and work I did at home) for getting them to the amazing two and four year olds they are today. Don't compare them to others at the same age as you have to by their corrected age, as well as give them a little more slack. However, if you doubt something or fear that something is not right - talk to your pediatrician immediately. Mothers instincts are always right and your little one will appreciate you watching out for them and being their sounding board. good for you for being proactive and having the evaluation done - you are a dedicated mommy!

My first daughter was a premie, so was my sister's son. With both children I found that they were delayed approximately the same amount of time they were early. If your pediatrician is not finding anything wrong with your child and she's developing normally (even if slowly), I'll bet she'll do everything she's supposed to do, just about 2 months after "the book" says she should. I can happily report that my daughter is now in college and can roll over and everything else she should be doing! My newphew will be 3 this year and is also completely caught up. Enjoy your daughter and don't panic, I know it's hardest with the first one to have confidence. She'll be just fine (and so will you!)

Hi there,
Looks like you got a lot of great advice here, I have an 18 month old now who was 2 months early and echo what has been already said. Also, have you heard abou TTMF? Here is their website and a description of this non profit org specifically for dealing with preemie issues: www.ttmf.org

"we support moms/families at Stamford, Norwalk and Bridgeport Hospitals, offering on-site Resource Rooms (a quiet private place to be in between the times you can visit your baby, stocked with food, a computer, books, TV, etc.), one-on-one parent mentoring (what I would have done to know someone else who understood what we were going through!!), a "Tiny Treasures" supply program (for all of those hard-to-find supplies like small pacifiers, nipples, hats, diapers, etc...), a Financial Assistance Program (ex: extending monies to a parent who needs dependent care or transportation so she can visit her baby in the NICU...) AND this speaker series which is free of charge and open to the public. It's an incredible organization run by compassionate moms who have "been there" and now want to make sure other families are supported during this fragile time. "

I've heard that with preemies, at first(when they are very young) you must subtract the amount of time they are premature from their age when looking at development. When she was first born she was still trying to develop her body parts completely, rather than focusing on how to interact with the world around her. So, in that respect she is only "3 months old." My son started rolling over about 4-41/2 months. So, I wouldn't worry just yet. Even if she wasn't premature I would say early intervention might be a bit drastic. Babies simply develop on their own schedule. And being "behind" on one thing doesn't always mean they'll be behind on others. Some children walk before they crawl. Only so much emphasis can be put on what stage children should be at compared to other children. (After reading some other responses, I realized I might not be aware of what early intervention entails, so perhaps I am wrong about not needing that, but all in all I say, don't worry too much yet.)

Something you have to remember is that all babies develop at a different rate. Your five month old is really at the developmental stage of a 3 month old. Most 3 month olds aren't always reaching for objects or rolling over. My friend's 6 month old doesn't really roll over and the docs say there is nothing wrong with her. Most premies don't fully catch up to their "peers" until around age 3. So don't worry so much about it. Play with her. Help her roll over. Be very interactive with her and she'll start doing those things when she's ready. Good Luck!

I have a 6 year old that was also 2 months premature. We started Early Intervention OT and PT sevices at 18 months old. He started kindergarten this year and still has OT. These services are great provided you have a really great therapist. Do not be afraid to ask for someone different if you think that they are not doing what they are supposed to do. My son still showed signs of balance issues at 5 years old - used training wheels on bike, difficulty on balance beam, took a long time to learn to skip, behind with pencil work and cutting. However, he reads at a second grade level and is compasssionate, and a great encourager, and always tries new things. Always take their adjusted age into account, don't, (I repeat don't) read the milestone books (they are not that important). Your child will get there, just give them the extra time. It helps if you are a great encourager too. If you are in Erie county I will gladly give you names of therapists we love.
E.
____@____.com

i had a set of twins born at 33 weeks and they were mostly on track with everything except walking/ my boy twin walked at 14 months and my girl walked at 16 months. however, my oldest son who was born at 35 weeks and is not technically considered a preemie, didn't roll over until he was like 10 months old. he hated tummy time and would just cry the whole time. you could call and talk to early intervention and see what they say or talk to your ped. i learned early on to throw out the parenting books-every kid is different and the books just furled my anxiety. good luck

My son, (Twin A) 38 weeks gestation 2 pounds 12 oz. Twin sister (B) fine. We broght him home at 2 and a half months old weighing 4 pounds. So they said treat him like a newborn. So there is indeed a lag in developement. They were undiagnosed (They are now 25) Did early intervention. Developement starts with the head and works its way down to through the torso to the toes. We did a lot of infant massage. . In fact massaged until he was a bout 7yrs old especially the legs. He walked at 2. Stiff legged but walked. We had a lot of toys that were mentally stimulating. Read to her even now. You will get a payoff in the future guaranteed. Persevere. Listen to therapists advice as just that "advice" they like to think they know your child better than you do, but they dont. Some PTs are nicer than others. I beleive that PT should not be an ordeal. Some I have found have control issues. Be aware of that. Also we had our son in an early intervention nursery school. He was learning to talk and they started teaching sign language and he started using that instead of speaking. We took him out and we placed him in a montessori pre-school.Remember YOU are your childs best advocate.

Hello! Congratulations on your baby girl! Seeking the help of Early Intervention is wonderful. My oldest son (now almost seven) was born 5 weeks early. The doctors that he went to told me to subtract that from his actual age to show where his development was. So if he was 5 months and should have been rolling over, I would consider his premature birth and say he is less than four months. So if at 6 months he hadn't reached the five month stepping stones I would let the doctors know. He has caught up to others his age and did so by about 1 1/2. I don't know that all doctors view it this way but the numbers worked out for my son. I think that Early Intervention is a wonderful idea and can only help your little girl reach all those wonderful milestones you are waiting for. I hope my post makes sense and good luck. H.

Hi S.

I am also the mother of preemie. I will tell you about my sons development and hope that it is some help to you. First my son was born at 27 weeks. He is now 8 months but is at a 5 month old development. I had the same concerns about him using his arms. He was not reaching for anything and when he was placed on his stomach and wiggled around, he would not bring his hands in front of him to push up. Then one day he started attempting to reach for my finger, his bottle and toys. He was about 7 months when that happened. He just started rolling over from on to his side. I am also going through the process for early intervention and he has just been evaluated by the physical therapist who said that he doesn't see anything wrong with him. He does have high muscle tone which is normal in preemies and was told that he should out grow it. He also said that sometimes, preemies just need a little extra time to reach their goals. My son still doesn't completely roll over and is just starting to sit up on his own for a couple of seconds.

Eventhough your little sweetie is 5 months, they may expect her to do things that a 3 month old does since she was two months early.

Hope this was helpful. Feel free to email me with any further questions.

Hi S..
My son is also 5 months old and arrived 6 1/2 weeks prematurely. He has caught up in weight and height for the most part, but I do notice other slight delays similar to what you describe. He has not yet rolled over (he hates tummy time ), and only recently has he been reaching for toys regularly. From what I've read, some docs think you should judge preemies based on their original due date (meaning your little girl should be at the 3 month mark), while others disagree - like so many things in babyland there does not seem to be much of a consensus. My personal take is that as long as he's making strides and showing growth I won't worry about when specific milestones occur. (Of course, this is easier said than done, particularly when a good friend of mine had a full-term baby a week before I delivered. It's so easy to compare the two babies, and my little guy is generally not developing on the same schedule.)
I hope this helped a little. Good luck with the early intervention. Let us know what happens!

Hi,
My name is L., I have 4 children, all of which were premies, its good that you are seeking early intervention, they are great they helped my son tremendously, for the most part children do catch up by the age of 2, I wouldnt worry too much it is common for premies to be delayed, you have to look at it as if your daughter is only 3 months old because she was 2 mnths early. Good luck.

Hi S.,

I don't have personal experience with preemies (all 4 of my children were born around their due dates), but I do know that babies develop according to their gestational age, so developmentally your 5 month old would be in line with a 3 month old. My newest is only 2 months old, and the next one in line is 10 years old, so I don't really remember the milestones for 3 months - but you might want to look at those before getting concerned. And remember, too, that all babies develop at their own pace and there is a "normal" window. I think because of how this country schools our children (5 yo in K, 6 yo in 1st, 7 yo in 2nd) we tend to think the kids should learn things AT THAT EXACT TIME.

I'm not saying to not take her for an EI evaluation, just trying to be reassuring that it might not be anything horrible w/o having finished my morning coffee (decaf though it may be). Good luck!

Hi Stepanie, my son is two months premature and is doing everything that a 9 month old does (he is really 7 months), such as crawling, pulling up on things etc. I am a holistic health counselor and I take fish oil everyday and nurse my baby. If you are not nursing, you should speak to a naturopathic doctor to see how much fish oil you could give her directly. It truly helps with neurological development.

Hi S.! I wouldn't even worry! My son was 6 weeks early & it now 1 year & 1/2 will be 2 in July. You can't even tell he was a premie now! He didnt walk till he was 13 mths & also didnt even get his teeth till around then also. Not sure if teeth delay also. But now he runs & climbs everything!!! Even right now he is interested in potty training in which he doesnt make it but it telling me! Every child develops different & will in there own time! I play w/my son everyday & try to read books (he doesnt like to sit still for that). Then with the talking thing he doesnt make sentences but babbles & talks single words. I wouldnt worry! Your little girl will be just fine!

Hi S.,

My twins were born five weeks early. My son seems to be ahead of the game. My daughter took a long time to learn how to roll over & even crawl. She's almost 16 months now & not too interested in learning how to walk. She "walks" on her knees & is great at "cruising" along the furniture. But, if I'm carrying her & go to put her down, she tucks her legs under so she ends up on her knees. Now that she's in day care a few days a week, she seems slightly more eager to learn how to catch up. She is very smart, but just could care less about the walking thing. I think prematurity may be partly to blame for her delays as well as your baby's delays. If you're worried about it, contact your doctor to get the name of someone that can assess her to see if she needs any developmental therapy. My daughter was just considered a lazy baby (takes after her father...lol).

Best of luck.
A.

Hi, I am also the mom of a premie born 6 weeks early. Remember to account for your baby's adjusted age. It cant hurt to get an early intervention sceening or if necessary services. Because they will teach how to work with your child to increase her abilities. I've taught E.I and seen the benefits. It sounds like you're taking the right steps. Good luck.

Yes, my son who was not a premie, and my Best friends daughter whom was born at 7 months.

Call the birth23 program they are awsome,
trust me call them asap.

My son was 8 months old and didn't even roll over.
they came and he was walking at 12 months and 2 weeks

I had 2 other children, whom walked at 8 months and 10 months
so I was very concerned.

The program said that MANY providers and parents wait far too long to contact them, thus delaying the childs developement even further.

http://www.birth23.org/

Great group and they come to your house or babysitters.

As for my Friends child, she has developed slowly but normally,

Your daughter whom is 5 months old is really only 3 months old

You need to really work with her and teach her how to do all these things, and its gonna take time,

but i want to commend you on reaching out early many parents are in denial,

Most things can be prevented and improved if treated right away.

I am sure that your going to be emailing very shortly about how to stop her from making such a huge mess and from running around everywhere LOL.

Congrats!!

M

As someone who has work in the field of early intervention, I can say that that is a wise decission to go after, many wonderful results to benefit your child come out of the early intervention program.

Hi, S.. My oldest son was a preemie too, five weeks early, born the night of just going into my 35th week. He was strong and walked at 10 1/2mos but his speech was delayed and he was tested for early intervention and they found that is the only problem he had. Have your daughter tested as you were planning and watch what they do with her in that area and you imitate those things and do them with her. Remember this though, every child is different. My third son who now is 6 mos and was not reaching for toys either and now he is and you can't keep him away from things!! LOL he has and is rolling over and it was starting to concern me because my older two boys did alot of thing earlier, but it just so happens that they are all different and keep working with her, hold one toy out and does she look at it and not moving her arms to reach or does she move her arms at all? To suck her hands and fingers?. and then put the toy in her hand and help her grasp it by mvoing her fingers around the object. Just simple things in the meantime. But again, every child is different and imitate and ask questions when she get tested and write them down what they have done with her so you can imitate them at home and ask them if you can do those things at home with her. They will come to your house to work with her if she showed she is was having difficulty in some areas. I'll pray for you and her and that God will give you wisdom and give you His peace about the whole thing. NOTE: You are doing a wonderful thing for her now and not neglecting this whole thing!! Way to go MOM!!!

I am a mom of 3. My youngest will be 2 at the end of April and is very delayed. He was not a premie , but has some medical issues. I have had him receiving Early Intervention since he was 5 1/2 months old. It is great that you are getting into Early Intervention so early- With the support you will receive through EI your little one will catch up- just get her as much therapy as possible while she is so young. My little guy has PT 2x's a week, Occupational Therapy, Developmental therapy, & speech 2x'x a week.

Keep in mind that though she is 5 months isn't her adjusted age really 3 months? You can't expect her to do what a 5 month old can do, but after only a year or 2 she will be caught up. The important thing right now is that you are aware of her delay and getting help for her early. Good luck! You are doing the best for your little girl.

P.

Hi S.. I wanted to respond to you due to the fact that my son was born 6 wks early and it is normal for preemies to develop later ie: your baby would be 2 months behind a baby born full term. When my son was born, the nicu told me that he will develop according to when he was due to be born therefore at 5 months old, he was developmentally equivalent to to a 3 1/2 month old. It can take up to 2 years for them to catch up. They provided a nurse that would come to my home to evaluate him and I am pleased to say that he has grown into an intelligent, athletic, well rounded young man at 12 years of age. Granted, this was a long time ago and they may have new guidelines that they go by but I would definitely bring your baby to be evaluated this way you will know for sure if it is due to prematurity or if there is a different issue. I wouldn't set off the alarms just yet. Your baby is really developmentally only 3 months old.
I wish you all the best and enjoy those wonderful moments with your baby!

Hi S.,

Congratulations on your baby girl! My child had a normal gestation and birth, and he didn't even start to roll over until he was 5 months. He took his time. It sounds like your little one has a lot of catching up to do since she had to finish her physical development out in the world. It's to be expected! And in one way... what an extra boost to have all those doctors and nurses and family pulling for her! It's an alternative entry to earth most children can't claim to have experienced.

A wonderful book that helps to look at the whole child with a unique perspective is "You Are Your Child's First Teacher" by Rahima Baldwin Dancy

http://www.amazon.com/You-Your-Childs-First-Teacher/dp/08...

It may not directly address your questions or concerns, but perhaps could help you see your situation in a more rounded view, and help you find ways to integrate learning in alternative ways to compliment the intervention you seek.

I would encourage you to relax, be the loving, warm mama that you are, and be strong. I know it sounds strange coming from a stranger who doesn't know what you went thru... but try not to allow "worry" to override any strong feelings you have b/c your little one will sense it and it may cause a sense of insecurity.

One other thing that comes to mind is that I keep my child dressed in "woolie" undershirts and leggings. I have a feeling that if a child doesn't have to fight to be warm, or put out extra energy to be warm, that the child can put all that energy into development. I see some children who appear cold or under dressed (cold hands) and I get the sense that they have to put a lot of work into maintaining core temperature. Also... organic wool has a wonderful property to it in that it "self cleans" and I rarely have to wash it. My little one "lives" in his woolies and I air them out every few days while he wears the second set. If they get soiled with pee I just air them out. Really! Only with poo or after a couple of weeks (uh... or months...) do I hand wash them and hang them up over the shower curtain rail. Very easy.

http://www.floweringchild.com/philosophy.html

I found this site... and they explain what I'm trying to say very well! And their products are exactly what I use... very soft European wool/silk. Yummy comfy for the child!

Another thing comes to mind: Weleda baby care products are organic and even biodynamically grown naturals. The baby care line uses calendula that has a warming and healing effect. We use the baby body wash/shampoo and the diaper care and the baby cream. I keep the sampler set in my gift drawer for new mamas and it's the best in the diaper bag. I'm trying to think of supporting the child from the aspect of the senses. I've heard the theory that many baby care products off gas and have chemicals suspected as being negative to the health of the child. The Weleda products are AMAZING.

http://www.saffronrouge.com/baby-care/babies/weleda-baby-...

http://www.saffronrouge.com/baby-care/babies/weleda-calen...

Best of all things to you and yours!

Lots of love, R.