My husband is in the Marine Corps and has done everything from being gone for 6 months in combat, to being on ship back to back on 6 month floats, to leaving for exercises for anywhere from 2-6 weeks at a time. Two years ago we moved here to PA where he was recruiting and his hours were ridiculous, working 90+ hours a week on good weeks. Thankfully after a year he was brought over here to the main office and works better hours, 65+ hours when he doesn't have to drive out of town.
Through all of that, you learn how to cope. One big thing is to keep the children's regular routine and schedule so they feel as stable and "normal" as possible. This is a must! If you have to write down your own chore list of basics to keep up on things, do it. The two older kids can help around the house and can have a chore list as well, with rewards.
One thing Dad can do when the kids are missing him is have him make a movie for them! This was a giant hit for my 14 year old when he was just 3. We called it "The Daddy Movie". Still have it too, lol. Dad did it in parts before he left. He read books, did flash cards to help him learn his alphabet, numbers and colors while he was away. He did puzzles on the floor and talked about trips we had taken, all put on video. My son loved it! With one book, Dad said, "Go get your Lion King book and Dad will read it to you." Every single time I had to stop the tape while he ran and got his book, lol. Years later when the triplets came along, Dad was gone while they were infants and I'd play it for them so they could keep his voice familiar and just watch it in their bouncer or when they learned to crawl they'd crawl over to the TV and hit at it, lol.
Another thing I did was get a chewable photo book for infants and slid photos of Dad in it to keep his face familiar.
Keeping family photos up all over the walls is a big thing too, in every room.
Keep extra photo albums available for the kids to flip through at their leasure.
Use family photos on your computer as your screen saver. Update it often. My 4 year old triplets will still sit in the computer chair and just stare at all the pictures.
Be sure when Dad is home that he pitches in and gives you a break to soak in the tub or go our with the girls, then he can spend time with the children and do diaper duty, lol.
Be sure to go on date nights with hubby twice a month when possible.
Have a babysitting swap with friends. Take turns watching each other's kids so you have time to go out as well.
Be sure to enlist friends and family in babysitting when possible. Do a chore for them or bake them a casserole as payment.
Now that the warmer weather is here, go for lots of walks and get outside when you can. The sunshine and warmth can give you all a well needed break and not feel so cooped up. Winter and pregnancy must have been confining so get out when you can, even a walk in the mall.
Stay in touch with people! Call and email often to people. This helps with venting and getting some much needed adult conversations. Join some online chat groups either local to find out what's going on in the area, or an interest group with something that you enjoy. Contact with others helps very much!
K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat
chat and events within 2 hour radius