Seeking Night Time Advice

Hi S.,
I have an 8 month old who is doing the same thing. He seems to be having trouble sleeping and it doesn't seem that anything is wrong, he just wants someone there. When we walk in his room, he will just smile! :) I haven't talked with a dr. or anyone about this but...I think he just wants to have the safety and comfort of knowing you are there. I have had to sit with my son for about 30-45 minutes rocking or just holding him closely before putting him down for good. I don't know that there is anything you can do. Maybe a night light? music? I know that my son sleeps better with both! Hope this helps!

You said he isn't teething yet. At 9 months it could be anytime when those teeth start showing up. Mine fussed WAY before any teeth surfaced. Rub his gums and see if he has any tender spots or swelling.

Once, you've for sure ruled the teething out he might be getting to much sleep during the day. Try cutting his naps down during the day and/or putting him to bed later. If he keeps getting up he might just be getting to much sleep.

If that's not the issue it very well could be that he just wants to see you at night. If you've ruled everthing out I would quit going in there. You might have to let him cry it out a night or two, but he will get the picture. If you want to get any sleep this is really best. Crying doesn't hurt them!

Good Luck!

I have four daughters and I have learned that children go through phases where they don't sleep through the night, all of my kids went through this at different ages, so I can't really say that age is a factor. The way we got through this is each night that they would get up, we would wait longer before we would go comfort them, so the first night 10 minutes , the second 20 and so on. They would learn to comfort and put themselves back to sleep and then we could sleep through the night again. Good Luck !

My son, who is now 14 months, did this too around 10 months. We started bringing him to bed with us, where he'd immediately fall asleep, but quickly saw a pattern developing. So we changed to the cry it out method. It is HARD, but only lasted us for 3 nights, and the last night wasn't bad. But what we followed what the books say, and let him cry for 5 minutes then went in and hugged him, laid him back down and said "It's sleepy time. I love you. You need to go back to sleep." Then left the room. Waited for 10 minutes, then repeat, and the first night had to go back in at 15 minutes. On the second night, only had to do 5 & 10 minutes and third night was just the 5 min drill. They scream like they are dying, and I cried right along with him the first night, but it really did work. We employee this method now when he has a rough night or nap time. It still seems to work. Good luck!

I hate to say this, but give it time. My son (now 14 months) did the exact same thing. He slept great, and suddenly he started waking up and letting us know about it! I think it's because he figured out he was able to stand up and wanted us to see him doing so. Now he is back to sleeping through the night, but it did take about 4 months.

Sometimes when little ones learn new skills, they have a harder time sleeping at night because they are thinking about them, just like we do as adults. So at night he may have these newly learned (motor skills especially) going on in his head that he can't help but want to get up and practice, such as pulling up to stand in his crib, or the ability to know now that when he stands at his crib and fusses or calls out, mommy comes, "wow." It could be a long process getting him to sleep through the night again, but concistency is really the best way to break the cycle. I have three boys and not one of them slept through the night until they were one. Sometimes when you get sleep deprived you are willing to do anything to get back to sleep. Just remember that if you don't want a toddler in your bed every night, don't make a habit of bringing your baby to bed with you. Keeping him in his own room will help in the long run...good luck!

My suggestion would be to let him cry himself back to sleep. Everyone needs to learn how to soothe themselves and it may take several nights but eventually he will learn that you are not coming and that he needs to find something else to soothe himself. Is there something that you use during the day to soothe him if he gets fussy? A blanket or stuffed toy? If so, try making sure that is available to him. Also, you'll learn if the cry he is emitting actually requires your attention. There is a difference between the "I just want attention" and the "I really need someone NOW" cry.

Now I want you to know, this will NOT be easy. It may feel like you are neglecting him and you will not sleep for several nights. However, in the long run, he will learn to go back to sleep on his own and you will have given him a little taste of independance.

I went through the same thing myself accept I waited until my daughter was over a year old and it took forever. When she finally did sleep through the night again, I was in her room constantly making sure she was alright because I couldn't believe she hadn't cried out for me.

You are not ignoring or neglecting your child. Just listen for the cues and eventually you'll get your full night sleep again.

Hope this helps.

you dont say if he is breast fed or bottle or weaned from bottle. we had a grandson doing this same thing and I found out if I gave him a warm glass of milk, a little cereal or healthy snack he would sleep all night. just a small suggestion as i do not know your feeding schedule. good luck

Hi Shelly,
Well here is my advice.....
* For the next few nights give him those Highlands teething tablets and even if he wakes up in the middle of the night. It is very possible he could be teething...especially being that he is 9 months old.
* Make sure he is getting enough to eat. My daughter is now 14 months and around that age she seemed to need a snack before bedtime along with her bedtime bottle.
* He could be going thru a growth spurt along with the teething at the sametime which also could be why he is waking up in the middle of the night...he is hungry and/or gums hurting.
* If you are already giving him a snack before bed and a bottle then I would move onto giving him teething tablets, if that then solves it you know what your problem is.
* Amother one is make sure he is not to cold or to hot in his room. My daughter likes to sleep in a onesis T-shirt and a blanket sleeper but then doesn't use a blanket. So here is one thing to check.
* Now he could also be waking up to see if he gets the response he wants and that is for you and/or dad to come in there so... for the next few nights when he wakes up in the middle of the night I would walk in there and give him his pacifier (if he takes one) rub his belly tell him it's still bedtime (or whatever you call it) you love him and walk out. If you have to go back in there I would tell him again that it is bedtime and to go back to sleep. But in this process don't start any other bad habits like.. taking him to your bed, picking him up out of his crib, or moving him to another bed and laying down with him, or even sitting in the same room with him, and the other one don't give him a bottle in the middle of the night.
You see the very 1st night he woke up and you went in there and then continued to go in there that night he said hmm I wonder if that will work all the time so he said I'll try it again and so he did and once again it worked. So if it's not the other ones which really it might be all of them so cover your bases if you have to give him some tylenol and teething tablets before bedtime make sure he has a snack and his bottle before bed and a dry diaper. And then lay him down tell him you love him and see him in the morning.
* If he does take a pacifier and if it is because he can't find it in the middle of the night... take one of those Playtex sippy cups with the handles and zip tie it to the rails of the crib in the inside of the bed, put it in one corner of his bed and shoe him where they are before you tell him to go night night. When you do this put the excess zip tie on the outside of the crib and cut it off.

Well that is about the only things I can think of so I hope these things help, W.

Kids go through stages. We finally had to let my son cry it out b/c we weren't sleeping. If he is fine and doesn't need anything, he is simply creating a bad habit - I think. It may be hard, but letting my kids cry it out was the best thing we ever did. Both sleep peacefully through the night now and so do we. Good luck!
B.
Gymboree of Lee's Summit

Hi S.,
We just got back from my daughter's 6mo. Dr. appt. and she was telling us that 6mo-1year old's tend to go through separation anxiety a little more at some point (which she said can also mean at night). Maybe your little one is just going through a bit of this? Hope you return to good sleep soon!
Sincerely, B.

My son is 12 months and has slept through the night since he was 8 weeks old. Everytime he hasn't slept through the night for any period of time it was because of illness, teething, or he was about or in the middle of reaching a new milestone. It has always passed and he gets himself back to his regular routine in no time.

hi shelly!
i know exactly what you are going through. my son is 9 months old and he was doing this too. it seemed he was up every 2 hours! at that time i was just feeding him cereal and fruit and veggie twice a day. since he's been doing so much more with crawling and standing plus my sister's ped told her that by 9 months they should be eating 3 times a day. (our 9 month appt is monday)so i switched to a breakfast of cereal and fruit, a lunch of fruit, veg, and dessert, and dinner of some kind of meat (just chicken so far) then a veggie and cereal.(he still nurses 6-8 times a day) the first day i did that, he slept through the night (which he hasn't done since he was 4 1/2 months). and he's been sleeping through the night every night (with the exception of 2 nights before a new tooth came in). we've been doing this about 3 weeks. kinda makes me feel like i was making him go hungry before. hope this helps!
E.

I have a 9 month old that is doing the exact same thing. He started sleeping through the night at about 3 months and now he will not. At his 9 month check up the doctor said that this will start happening b/c they are learning so many new things and they want to practice but also they want a lot attention right now and that is another reason why they are waking up at this age.

I have 2 children and both of my children went through these phases from about the time you are describing-16 months or so. Sometimes I think it is teething, others, just seperation anxiety. That being said, we never took them out of their room. We would go in and hold them for a couple of minutes and then say it is night-time. They would cry for a very short time, but go right back to bed. If it was teething, we would either use Orajel, or if it was really bad, Motrin. To this day, my children are the easiest kids to get to bed. I have not ever had any trouble and my kids are approaching 2&4. The key is to not take them out of their room; otherwise, it confuses them and they think it is time to wake up. Good luck...it may last for a few weeks. And just when you think it has passed, it will be back for a short time again! Every kid goes through this.

S. -
We had the exact same thing happen to us at the nine month stage with my son. We were recommended the book "Sleeping Through the Night" (can't remember the author) and it changed our lives. We followed it religiously for four nights and it made all the difference. I highly recommend that you go out and buy it today and try the "first night" stuff this evening. It was very difficult for me to implement the first two nights, but I promise it got better. Best wishes - T.