Seeking Opinion of Moms with Boys on K-8 Education

Updated on May 11, 2009
J.Z. asks from Jupiter, FL
13 answers

Have you found yourself having a hard time with the teachers and staff? I have 2 boys spaced over 10 years apart and find they constantly try to push for medication (ritalin or the like). I am so tired of it and wondered if anyone else had boy/school/issues.
I am really seeing that the no child left behind act is leaving behind our boys-who don't thrive on seat work, constant sit/listen/read work & lack of physical education/recess time.

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So What Happened?

I was near tears when I wrote this and want to thank everyone who responded. I will pick up the suggested reading and become more of an advocate for my sons.

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T.F.

answers from Orlando on

My kids go to school in Seminole County. Their school has daily recess, PE 3 times a week, and teachers who don't make them just sit and listen. My son is always telling me great things his teachers do, like they play a game for learning spelling words called "sparkle" which involves auditory and tactile learners. As a teacher myself, it drives me up a wall when I hear stories of situations like what you are describing because parents with young kids hear these stories and think all public schools are like that and end up homeschooling or chosing private school without giving their own local public school a chance.

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T.M.

answers from Miami on

Nowadays, many people do not want to take the time to work with our boys or to discipline them. The first thing many want to do is cry "ADD". It is ludicrous! Of course, there are those true cases of kids who need medicine. But many are misdiagnosed, and many are put on meds as an excuse for bad behavior. Hang in there. Find strategies that work best for your kids.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.P.

answers from Pensacola on

Hey J.
I'm in the same boat. My 9y/o is quiet, smart...the perfect student. My 5 y/o is all boy, and yes, a little immature. But the second day of school, his teacher had him diagnosed with ADD, and recommended meds. I was livid. His doctor says he is normal and not ADD. I go round & round with the school. Hang in there, and fight for what you know is right
C.
WAHM

1 mom found this helpful
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R.S.

answers from Miami on

Not sure if I still have the video from lets say 20/20 or something like it but it stated that our society does not teach boys well. Boys are not made to sit and learn. Some girls are not either.

A manager at NSU was telling me that a friend of hers went to talk with administration at her son's school to at least let him stand at his desk. He did much better.

Boys are should be out learning and not stuck in the same seat all day.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Fort Walton Beach on

Hi,
I am a mother of 4 boys 5-13 years old. DO NOT jump into the med thing! Most children (yes, there are truly some who do) do not need it!
Boys where not created to sit still and do paperwork. That doesn't mean they can't master it to some degree eventually, but it does mean you will get reports from school.Having said that, I'm assuming you have controlled and disciplined boys. I am a HUGE advocate of learning that THERE IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE between boys and girls. Instead of giving a long response I'll give you some VERY helpful books. 1. The Way They Learn by Cynthia Tobias 2.Every Child Can Succeed by Cynthia Tobias 3.Bringing Up Boys by Dr. James Dobson 4. Wild at Heart by John Eldridge.
In short, boys usually have different learning styles than girls and schools can't physically teach to all the different styles. Although, once you find your son's learning style, have a meeting and explain it to their teachers and see what they can do to accomodate them.
I have actually been homeschooling my boys for 5 years now. It's the best environment for boys to thrive in.
Keep in mind with all my comments that I assume you have the authority over your boys and they respect you.Working with their learning styles will not help if it's a behavior issue not an environment one.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from Panama City on

I am a mom of a KDG boy and I am a 2nd grade teachers. I understand your concern from both ends. I do want to say that I hope that your sons' teachers are not actually suggesting medication because they cannot do that lawfully. It is considered practicing medicine without a license. May I suggest reading a book called "Boys in Crisis" I read it as part of a school wide book study this summer and it really gives a lot of good information on how our schools are not meeting the needs of boys in our schools. Although the book is geared towards teachers, it is a fairly easy read and you may be able to pass on the information to your sons' teachers.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.N.

answers from Gainesville on

A good friend of mine had the same problem with her son. She flat out refused, saying he's a normal, active kid who needs to run and play some and if they'd have a proper recess, he could get that energy out as nature intended. He's fine, actually a wonderful young man -- 19 years old now and working AND going to college with a scholarship.

You might also look for a book, "Hunters in a Gatherer's World," on the subject (check the library)!

Hang in there, I'd say you're on the right track (oh, maybe get you boys to do some running or yard work after school each day -- I get my teen to walk/run the dog or jump rope). I notice if she watches t.v. after school (saying she's not in the mood, or had a bad day), then she doesn't sleep well and it's not so good...

Warm Wishes,
L. D., sahm of 3

1 mom found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Unfortunately, the public school answer to just about everything is "medication" and they choose to ignore the fact that bright students just aren't being taught according to their learning style. If you can find a way to afford it, your best options would be to either put your children into private school or home school them. Don't worry about their socialization if you decide to go the home schooling route. There are some good homeschooling networking groups that get together to do group field trips, etc. and provide plenty of socialization opportunities.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.K.

answers from Miami on

You are certainly not alone with this issue. All children do not learn in the same fashion and if you have an older teacher or principle who are "old school" you will continue to have issues. Younger teachers, although with less experience, have been taught the different learning modalities of children. Unfortunately, you don't always have the choice of teacher. Home school is a great option if you are able. then you can teach to your child's learning style. If not, perhaps speak with the teacher and see if they have any programs who assist children with specific learning needs. As a teacher, I know that many children need to stand while they learn, or work outside. Others need to have few distractions, so things like headphones assist in quiet, focused time. Is there a Resource Teacher on staff at your school? If so, check in and see what is available to your child. If drugs can be avoided I would agree that is best. Teachers are best when they learn behavior modification and use these techniques with their students. Good luck.

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S.W.

answers from Boca Raton on

Forget the Ritalin. Have them checked for hormonal imbalance. Very important.

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C.G.

answers from Gainesville on

Instead of Ritilan.....Try giving the boys Valerian Root it is a natural herb and will help to settle the boys down and also help them sleep better at night. Another thing to watch out for is Red Dye in the foods they eat like cheese crackers and such....it effects alot of things.

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D.W.

answers from Orlando on

Florida school systems are seriously messed up

When my second born son went to live with my sister in Melbourne....that was the first thing they did to him when they placed him in that school system.

I have found that ADD or ADHD is seriously over diagnosed.

Most of the time I have found with my 5 year old son who is seriously hyper that if he gets a sufficent amount of excersise and play through out the day that his behavior is managable. All of his pent up energy only leads him into trouble. THAT'S HOW BOYS ARE! THEY ARE A BUNDLE OF ENERGY!

You have the choice and the right of refusing the drug alternitives.

The children are getting left behind while the lying politicians continue to become more obese and better at the lying.

Children really need physical stimulation. I was recently a guest speaker at my sons VPK school and after about 15 minutes the children were ready to jump up and do something.

With that said. You also have the right to remove your child from that school and either home school him or place him in a private school.

If you are unable to afford private school then apply for a scholarship. https://www.stepupforstudents.org/application/ this link is a link that you can folllow to apply and see if you qualify.

As a parent you HAVE the right to say NO! Pushing the drugs and all of their intimidation are nothing more than scare tatics and you shouldn't fall for it.

This is the United States of America and you do have Constitutional Rights. So stand up for yourself an JUST SAY NO!

After all isn't that what we as parents are supposed to teach our children...just say NO to drugs

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K.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Hi J.,
I'm a mom of a kindergarten boy and he is struggling to stay on task with seated or repetitive instruction. I am also a former teacher (15+ years experience) and know that this is the norm for some boys. I took my son to Nemours and had him tested for ADHD and IQ. What we found was surprising. His IQ scores were high average and superior and his ADHD scores were borderline. He's bored with his instruction but has the ADHD tendencies that can be controlled in the right environment, which he is obviously not getting in school.

My son is worse when he is tired. What I've learned to do is help him get as much rest as possible by putting him to bed no later than 8 PM - lights out, bedtime routine over at that time. I also give him a wonderful children's supplement (multivitamin) that is 99.9% absorbed from a great wellness company I found. This helps him fight through those tired times and maintain his mental and physical balance throughout the day.

Another thing I did was to remove the toxins from my home. That sounds like a tough job but it was really easy. I simply chose to shop with an online wellness company (wholesale) instead of going to the local retailers for my basic household needs. It saves me a ton of time and has made my whole family healthier.

The difference in my son has been dramatic. He's still the same little boy and loves to be on the move but he's not over stimulated by the stuff that's not good for him, at least at home.

After making that simple shopping decision and seeing the benefits up close and in person, I started a home business teaching others about the benefits of a safer, healthier home and lifestyle. If you'd like to know more about what I've found I'll be happy to share. It's all free for the asking so don't be afraid to contact me. AND pressure is not the name of this game. I just know the difference it's made in my family's lives and want to share what I know.

Best to ya,
K. Woodlief
www.LiveTotalWellnessToday.com

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