We just took my child to his 2nd dental appointment at age 3 1/2. We thought we were being diligent, only to find out he has "soft teeth" and 4 cavities. We decided to have him put under general anesthesia for the work. We thought he was getting fillings, but learned in the middle of the procedure that he needed to have 2 absessed molars pulled, and one upper molar capped. He now has 2 "cap and loop" spacers on bottom and a 3rd cap on top. This is a kid that brushes twice a day, rarely eats sweets, and has flossed since age 3. I believe my big mistake was that I didn't start him at the dentist until age 2.5 and then only went once a year. I am wrecked with guilt and so sad I didn't take him in 6 months earlier so that he could have fillings instead of all this metal in his mouth. I also have a master's degree in Maternal and Child Health and can't believe this happened to my child! My question: does this happen to other healthy kids with diligent parents? Why is the message not out there that kids need to start dental care earlier and more often than my pediatrician even recommended??? Most of all, I feel really, really sad and I am hoping to hear some support from other parents!
Thank you to everyone who wrote your supportive messages about my son and his teeth. He is doing great. This is so obviously harder on us than on him. We hope it stays that way! Honestly, I don't know what would have slowed my tears if I hadn't heard from 11 caring, supportive people with similar stories and useful wisdom to impart on this subject. From what we have gathered, my only regret is that I didn't take him to the dentist sooner and more often. As far as diet and hygiene go, I actually think we have done all we could have done. Although, my youngest child won't eat raisins, craisins, fruit leather, or gummy vitamins like my first now that we know "soft teeth" and poor enamel run in the family. Interestingly, a colleague of mine just informed me that Minnesota Child and Teen Checkups is changing its recommendation from 1st dental check up between ages 3-4, to 1st checkup at age 1. I wish I had known. Also, my dentist told me that her office alone does about 60 similar oral surgery procedures for kids weekly. Apparently, kids' teeth are much more at-risk than I imagined. Thank you for your very supportive assistance.
Forget the guilt. Dentists do not recommend seeing kids until they are three (3). It sounds like you are dealing with a child that just didn't hit the genetic lottery when it comes to teeth. Anyway, at 3 1/2, I assume we are talking about baby teeth? He'll get a second chance at dental perfection when his baby teeth are replaced with big boy teeth.
I can relate - I just found out my 5 year old has 8 cavities! I was completely shocked. We brush religiously and floss (occassionally). I'm sure I would have been judgemental about this if I heard someone else's kid had that many cavities at such a young age. It feels just horrible. They are all between his back teeth s which are very close and hard to floss. I think our main problem is that after brushing and while in bed, I hear "I'm hungry..." And I often brought him an apple slice, or a kids vitamin while he was in bed. Obviously a very bad habit! At least we got to learn our lesson with the baby teeth! I'm sorry it's happening to you too!
well im sorry to hear about your problems..however from my understanding-theres not to much preventive care you can do for soft teeth.my kids didnt start going to the dentist until-they were 5-6 yrs of age.thats when they started putting a sealant on their teeth to protect and keep the permanent teeth strong-my kids are in their late 20s now-and have great beautiful teeth-do to this simple procedure...chex with your dentist.
How could you have known? It has little to nothing to do with his brushing habits, eating sweets, or anything other than genetics. Don't beat yourself up.
My son has had trouble with cavities as well (I'm not nearly as diligent as you are with keeping his teeth flossed, though.)
Our dentist told me not to feel too bad - he and his wife are both dentists and their son still had his first cavity when he was 18 months old. So it can happen to anyone!
Don't beat yourself up!
I took my daughter to the pediatric dentist at age2 because she fell and hurt her front teeth and they checked her out but weren't interested in seeing her as a patient for cleanings til she was 3.
So I bring her back at 3 and she has soft teeth too and ended up with 3 fillings and her top teeth are decaying. She is now almost 7 and we have been going to the dentist every 6mos. and I'm a good mom too and make her brush etc. She now may need a crown and caps as well. She also hasn't lost any baby teeth yet. She goes to the dentist in 2 days and we'll see what's up this time. I hate dragging her into the dentist we rarley leave with a good report. I think it's genetic and she has her dad's crappy teeth. I have little to no problems with mine.
As a dental professional, I want to tell you that you did everything right. We do not recommend that you bring your child into the dentist until they are 3-4 years of age because before then they are usually not very cooperative. I am really surprised by the things that I see everyday. Some people who don't brush and don't floss never have a cavity and others who brush and floss 2 to 3 times a day are having root canals. A lot of it has to do with his saliva, some people produce more bacteria than others naturally. I know you said that he doesn't eat many sweets, what about juice and/or pop. Your saliva turns juice and pop into acids that eat away at the teeth. Do not let him sip on either of them. If you give him soda or juice, make sure he drinks it and then rinses his mouth out with water right away. Also I would ask the dentist about getting you some paint on fluoride treatments to do at home a couple of times a month. Also practice having him swish and spit. When he can do that consistently with water you can start using a fluoride rinse (like act for kids) every night right before he goes to bed, it will help strengthen and protect his teeth. Just make sure he does not swallow it or it will give him a sick stomach. Keep up the good work and remember you can only go forward from here. If you have any other questions you can email me at ____@____.com
It sounds like you did everything that you could have. Our good friend is a dentist and told us not to even try to bring our son in until he is 4, because otherwise they can't sit still and don't understand. You don't want to have them not like going. You did all your could!
Stop the guilt S. ~ bashing yourself around about this is SO unnecessary! Some kids just have soft teeth and going to the dentist on the day they are born won't change it.
The answer to the problem is SILICA, which is widely available as a supplement called Horsetail (a green stalk you see everywhere in the midwest but which most of us don't pay attention to).
Just open a gel cap and pour the silica in anything your child eats. It is tasteless and quickly dissolves. He won't even notice it's there.
No amount of silica is toxic ~ once the amount needed is absorbed the rest gets peed out.
Relax now, and know that he has a silica deficiency (which helps the body to absorb calcium) that is easily managed and, above all, not your fault.
First off S., do not beat yourself for the problems. You did nothing wrong but a whole bunch right..... Teeth are genetic as you know. There is nothing you can do. If you were delt the good gene card, then you could brush one a day, never floss and still have no cavities. So, if it was not you, then it was your husband's bad cards he delt your son. Nothing you can do about it. After all when we select the fathers of our children, we do not tell them: "Bite down on this rice paper so that I can see what type of indentation you leave (LOL)..... So, he got the bad hand, let's hope your baby gets your cards. NOw for your son, have you spoke to the dentisit about putting sealants on his teeth. In a case like yours, with so much work at such a young age, he would qualify. This would save you some decay in the future. Also, you took him at the dentist at the right time. The recommended age is between 3 and 4 years. So relax and know you could have went at 7 months with the first tooth and still had the same outcome. (((HUGS))).
S.,
I have two kids and both have the same problem. I also felt incredibly guilty and still become anxious when we skip a brushing.
My daughter was 18 months when we discovered hers--the pediatrician told me many times that the marks on her teeth were nothing to worry about, but a friend thought it looked like decay. I brought her to a pediatric dentist in St. Paul who was awful. He told me I "did this" because he said I gave her a bottle before bed. She had never had a bottle in her life, she was exclusively breast-fed. Of course we found a new dentist who is supportive and wonderful, and we still go to him five years later. (Dave Elgethun at Dentistry for Children and Adolescents). She needed one cap and three fillings (her four front teeth). She had to have surgery to do the work, which was heartbreaking to me!
As soon as my second child's teeth erupted I took him in regularly. Despite the visits and my vigilance, he also developed tooth decay. We eat a whole grain diet, no soda, juice on special occasions only. He's almost four now and has had two teeth erode significantly--but the dentist says the decay is stopped now so we are going to leave his teeth as they are until they fall out. I just hope he doesn't get teased about them.
For both of my kids there were just a few teeth that had poor enamel, which was a relief.
I have met several families who have had similar experiences. I can't explain it!
Try to let yourself off the hook. Clearly you were doing the right thing by regularly brushing, and most dentists say to come in for a first visit at 3 years. Hopefully your baby won't have the same problem!
