Seeking Support for Post Partum Depression/Anxiety

I asked for alot of help and caught up on my sleep.

Pay someone to watch the baby if you have to but you need a day or two to sleep, sleep, sleep.

I would strongly urge you to get your thyroid screened. I had the exact same thing happen after my first son was born. My anxiety was so severe I was afraid to drive in the car with my son for fear he would be killed in an accident (the fact that I had never been in an accident didn't seem to help...). I actually weaned him so I could go on anti-depressants (I refused to take them while breastfeeding him). Turned out, my thyroid was really out of whack. Once corrected, the anxiety diminished significantly.

You need to have a doctor who understands issues with reverse-T3. This is something most western doctors don't look at. It's common post-partum. You can read more about it here: http://www.wilsonssyndrome.com/

Hope this helps!
B.

I'm sorry you're going through this and I don't have any advise for you regarding your ppd. But I just wanted to tell you about SIDS monitors in case you haven't heard about them. We bought one from bed bath and beyond for about $100. the peace of mind is worth every penny. If the baby stops breathing/moving an alarm goes off to let you know. I think the brand is called Baby Sense.
I hope you feel better soon. Hang in there!

Counseling will help, but finding a mommy group will help more. There is something to be said about the "new normal" you will experience after having a child. I cried every day for the first 5 months of my daughter's life -- I had post traumatic stress from a frightening birth. My mommy yoga class, and baby RIE class were the best. It helps tremendously to be around other moms and find out what they are experiencing and how they are coping. Motherhood is rather horrible. Yes you get a beautiful child, but you trade in your good night's sleep, which affects your mood and your memory and your sense of grounding. You get hormones that keep you on the edge. You get a trashed body and a long road to bring it back to where it feels like your own again. You get judgement -- both from yourself and others. You get financial stress, marital stress, burn-out. You get abounding worries about the baby's mortality and your own. It is intense.

I really didn't enjoy the early days of motherhood. I felt like it was 90% terrible, and 10% bliss, and nothing in between. I used to congratulate people and be so excited for them when there were new babies, but now I just give gifts and bring food and try to comfort the mother. Some people love the helpless infant stage, I'm not one of them. But I do love looking at pictures of my daughter as a baby. What a beauty! So chubby and precious. So my advice would be to take lots of pictures, so that when you are feeling stronger, somewhere down the line... you can enjoy your baby and over-write some of the bad feelings you have now. Blessings to you and your new bundle.

I knew before I left the hospital after having my son that there was something wrong with me - the anxiety was overwhelming. I was released on Friday and I was on the phone with a therapist on Saturday morning. I was unable to eat and paced around my house at all hours. The only thing that calmed me down was holding my precious baby. I slept next to him for months because I too was so afraid of SIDS. I saw my OB who put me back on the birth control pill and prescribed Paxil. (I was unable to breastfeed because my milk never came in - so weird). A friend of mine gave me some great advice 1) If you can't sleep when the baby sleeps, just rest your mind (I became so anxious because everyone said to sleep when the baby sleeps and I was unable to!) 2) If the baby is okay that you are okay. 3) You have control over the panic/anxiety (I thought that she was crazy and why would I choose to feel like this if I had control over it!!!). Slowly I started relaxing. I began telling myself that my son is okay and I'm okay. I also told myself I didn't have to go into a full panic attack and focused on things that made me calm and let me know that I was okay. The loneliness was nearly unbearable even though my husband was right there in the living room with me. I spoke to a therapist 2x a week for several weeks which helped as well. I'm sorry this is so long but I have been there and it sucks. You will get through this and your precious son will never even know about the PPD or anxiety. Take care of yourself and feel free to email if I can be of any help.

You might get good results from counseling, but you need to be faithful in going each week and really do what they tell you to do and use the tools they give you. I know it's far, but I have a really good counseling referral I can give you in Manhattan Beach. I had horrible anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder last year, and am doing SO much better now with this counselor's help. I also found a great Christian female psychiatrist in Hermosa Beach that is extremely conservative with meds. You have to be really careful with antidepressants. My primary doc put me on them when I first started having the anxiety symptoms and the meds had the exact opposite effect on me than they were supposed to. So be really really careful with those kinds of meds, they are not for everyone. If you want the names of the counselor and psychiatrist, please email me.

Good for you for getting help!
I'm not sure where you live but here are some referrals
Center for Postpartum Health – ###-###-#### – www.postpartumhealth.com -Dr. Diana Lynn-Barnes (holds a ppd group also)
Postpartum Support Group - ###-###-#### ext. 210 - Gabrielle Kaufman - Wednesdays 10-11:30am at Temple Judea (5429 Lindley Ave., Tarzana)
Postpartum Support International – (800) 944-4PPD – www.postpartum.net

I didn't have PPD, but have friends who did, and I just want to wish you the best. After a long struggle to have a baby, I did worry a lot about SIDS, and got a movement monitor that was wonderful. It is so sensitive to the baby's breathing. We did get 2 or 3 false alarms, where it went off and she was fine, but I could sleep knowing that if anything went wrong we'd know. It's called an Angelcare monitor, you can get them at Babies R Us. I got mine from Amazon because it was so much cheaper than BRU. Good luck to you!

http://www.amazon.com/Angelcare-Baby-Movement-Sound-Monit...

I am so sorry you are going through this and I am proud of you for being brave enough to admit it. It took me a loooong time after my first was born to admit it. I live in Irvine too and would be happy to get together if you ever want someone to talk to over coffee or something. My oldest is now almost 4 and my baby girl is six months. Here are a few resources that might really help you:

1. Postpartum Depression Support Group at Mission Hospital (off the 5 freeway at Crown Valley) - this is a FREE group that meets every Tuesday morning. I think it starts at 10 a.m. but you should double check. The brochures say it ends at 11:00 but it really goes till about noon (though you can leave early if you need to). Your story sounds similar to many of the women in the group and it will really help you to talk to them, be there in person (with or without your baby), and learn how they got through it

2. Mommy Matters - this is a FREE mommy & me class that meets on Fridays at 11:30 a.m. at the South OC Family Resource Center. I take my daughter most weeks and have really enjoyed it. The other moms are great and it's nice to be somewhere with other new moms going through the same struggles. There is a facilitator for the group (she is a nurse from Mission Hospital), though overall, it's just moms sitting around and talking. http://www.socfrc.org/

3. I run a free social networking site for local moms, so if you are interested in meeting people and having opportunities to get out of the house, OR if you want a safe place to ask questions and get answers from other moms, it's worth checking out. http://oc.citymommy.com

Don't be afraid to go on medication. It is worth it so that you can feel better and enjoy your time with your son. Don't wait - do it sooner rather than later if you're going to do it at all. Many are safe to take while breastfeeding if you are nursing your son.

Please feel free to contact me. I hope things get better for you soon.
K.

-If anyone offers to help, take it and sleep.
-Call your doctor and ask him/her if meds would help w/the anxiety.
Sleep deprivation is crazy so get sleep when you can.
-Keep his bassinette close to you, your bed etc in the first few months/year of his life. That's what I did and I checked on my baby all the time.
-I napped when he did for a long time.
-Didn't drink a lot of coffee so I could nap

As much counseling as you're gonna get it's not gonna get any better without meds. PPD is a brain chemical imbalance and if you don't correct that balance it doesn't get better (mostly gets worse). I had PPD and they put me on a low dose of lexapro and after a week it was like night and day! We avoided meds for a while but finally the doctor gave me a reality check. It's nothing you've done or can do, it's your brain and you need to get help asap.

Hi Maria,
I am so sorry you are having to struggle with P.P.D. I, too, was very anxious and depressed after my first was born. I was so exhausted but had insomnia. I worried all the time and really felt like it would be better if I died. I kept thinking that if only I could sleep, I would feel better, but that was not the case. You are very wise to get help now. Unfortunately, I was in denial regarding the depression and did not get help (in the form of medication) until my baby was about 8 months old. I do feel like I did not enjoy her to the fullest the first several months of her life and I regret that still (she is now 6-years-old.) I hope that the counseling helps for you. I found that my body/hormones really get off track after a pregnancy (I was blessed to have two more babies without getting P.P.D. too severely but a miscarriage resulted in very severe P.P.D.) Blessings to you as you work to overcome this and enjoy your little one.