Send Children to Kindergarten at 5 or Wait Another Year??

I would say send both because there may be issues between them as they age since they are twins. If the both have been in preschool I would say they are ready. You both could be right about the teachers although I love teachers they are not equal and maybe it could be one child feels resentment from the teacher. I would say find another preschool if you chose not to send them but also be aware according to state law in Ohio regardless of the age all children must do kindergarten. I tudored a girl once who was in both kindergarten and first grade at the same time. Half day with each class which wasn't too good since she missed half her first grade lessons.

May birthday is not a birthday to debate, send them. You don't want them board in school. If they really have problems, then you can hold them back next year and have them do Kindergarten again. Not sending them to any school next year sounds like a really bad idea.

I, too, would advise to send them both. From what I understand, twins have such an amazing bond that separating them by a year academically would likely be really tough.

The school, if one of the twins, isn't as advanced as the other, should have the necessary staff to help him get up to speed. I don't think it would be fair to the other to hold them back another year - my personal opinion.

Good luck.

It's amazing to see this problem! This was me and my sister! We are fraternal twins and have always been extremely close. When we were of age to begin school, they held her back saying she wasn't ready. It was awful. I missed my sister! She was quite sad too. At about third grade she really started being teased for it when people realized we were twins. I was labeled "gifted", while she was labeled "slow". She was an excellent student and incredibly bright. We hated being separated, so we spoke to our teachers when I was in fifth grade and she was in forth. Our parents fought for us and got my sister a tutor to catch her up. We entered sixth grade together. We were SO happy. We became even closer. We called it getting our "twin groove back". For the sake of skipping all of that, I highly recommend you put them together. They will help each other. Tell your husband that there are social repercussions to separating people who were born to be together. That is how we viewed it at least. I hope it helped.

I have been a teacher for 5 years now. I have taught 2nd grade for 2 years and 1st grade for 2 years. The other year was in Art and Music. Based upon my experience with 1st graders, everyday, and Kindergartners as well, it is easy to pick those students out that are very young, compared to their peers that is a little older. The students that are closer to 6 are a little more matured than the 4-5 year olds. This helps those students become more focused and excel further than the younger students. They are also less likely to be in trouble as well, because they are more matured. Other teachers and I, have talked about the major differences between the ages of beginning school, and every teacher agrees that it is better to start children when they are around 6. That extra year at home helps them to mature.

Also based upon my experience with working with twins, I would highly suggest separating them. I have taught 3 sets of twins, and each time I have found that they, naturally, worry about the other, or fight with the other. Separating them would also allow them to have their own friends and their own likes and dislikes. They would also learn to fight their own battles rather than looking to the other for support or help. It's great that they are close and you want them always to be, however, it would give them a break from each other, which in return, would give them more to talk about when they get home and they would be happy to see each other at the end of the day. This is just my opinion based upon my experiences.

You know them best, but I would NOT send one and not the other... they should go together.

I personally would send them. If they are in a preschool program, talk to their teacher for advice on how they behave, learn, and respond in their school setting. If they've never been in preschool, you should really put them in a year of preschool before entering K.

My oldest turned 5 the June before starting K, and he's now 7yrs old in 2nd grade and doing beautifully. He has 4 retentions in his grade and they are all girls.... so right along with everything else, its child dependent. Its not a boy thing or a girl thing (though they do learn differently), each child is different. So don't base your sending them or not on them being boys, thats not right.

Go through the screening, talk to hteir preschool teacher, and then send them both in the fall. You will be amazed at how well they will do. and a May birthday isn't that late... my son has kids in his class with August b-days who are doing just fine.

obviously no one knows your boys like you do, so you really have to go with what you feel would be best for them individually. I'm sure there are pros and cons for all the options and this is what I would suggest - sit down and list all the options then list the pros and cons for each one.' both go - Both stay - one go/one stay. Can you do a trial period of maybe a month or 6 weeks and if you see that the one is really struggling and just unhappy, you can pull him back out? My husband has taught for many years and I have been his classroom helper for many hours, plus taught K when I was younger. Many children are sent when they are not EMOTIONALLY ready for school because they are so "smart". Children need their parents a lot longer than we realize and "pushing them out of the nest" because they have passed a birthday that somebody said means they need to go to school is not always in their best interests. And some kids are sent because they are "wild" and parents think going to school will settle them down. I don't think I've said anything that hasn't been said before :) just go with your gut. The important thing is that you and dad are agreed so that you can support each other and both boys. If your children know your love and pride in them does not depend on their performance in school, this decision is not going to seriously affect their future one way or another.

Don't hold back your children. My 4 year old has been in preschool for over a year. It's amazing the difference school makes. The younger they are the better they absorb information.

In my opinion, I'd say send them both to kindergarten. If they've pretty much learned everything they need in preschool, they would be bored to tears doing that again. Use kindergarten as a measuring device. See if once they are in a proper school setting if they don't calm down & sit. I'm sure teachers face this all the time with the school new-bees. If after the end of kindergarted one or both aren't doing quite as well, then hold him back. Give them the chance though to "fail." Don't just assume they will. ...I don't want that to sound harsh, sorry if it does. I just don't really know how to say it any other way. I went to a very small elementary school & I don't recall anyone being picked on for being held back in kindergarten. In face, I don't really think anyone remembered or realized. He wouldn't be in the same class as his brother (moving up to first grade) so he won't see them to get picked on & all the kids coming in are brand new & know nobody. I guess thinking about it, nobody really remembers who got held back that early in school...

Sorry for the rambling. Good luck & hope this helps.

I'm surprised not more people are saying, keep them back and home school them for a year. With the attention they'll get from being taught at home, perhaps it's possible they will skip to 1st grade next year.

We started our girl in KG when she was 6; July birthday. She was ready at 5 academically, but we wanted to give her another year of creativity, freedom, and expression. We have learned there is not much of that in school these days. We do not regret it. She is not bored and she is very confident. Before we decided to give her another year at her pre-school,I spoke with many parents that started their children later. Noone regretted their decision. Only one mom regretted starting one of her children too early when she had the rest start later. If they do really well, they can move up.
Some of the best schools in the nation are based in the Northeast (Boston for example) and they do not have children start KG until they are 6. If you decide to start them later, try and look at it as having your children start school at time that is right for them and your family; not holding them back.

Again, you know your children best!

My 6 year old started Kindergarten this past sept, just as he turned 6. My husband and I made the decision based on many things we heard from family and friends, many of whom are teachers. I would say if the teacher is saying maturity wise they are not ready then hold them back. It is much better for your child to be the best in his class then to be held back because he wasn't ready. That can really play with their self confidence. My son turned 6 on Sept 3rd and started Kindergarten 2 days before his birthday. He was absolutely ready as far as his intellect. He was in a great pre-school and their pre-K classes covered kindergarten material. The entire point of Kindergarten is to prepare them for school and maturity is the major focus. I hope that helps!!

Put them both in... the twin who seems not ready may surprise you!

I think if I were you I'd send them. Around here they go thru a kindergarten screening and the educators would tell you if they didn't think one of your children were ready. My daugher has 2 sets of twins in her grade, 1st and they are with their twins but one set in each class. In kindergarten, one set of twins was seperated but that was the mothers choice I believe! Good luck with your decision!!

We just decided to hold our 5-year-old back. We figure if he gets to kindergarten and is bored to death we can skip him forward into 1st grade. We don't think this will be the case though. He likes to be competent rather than feeling like he needs to play catch up.

Give them a chance if you feel they have learned the preschool curriculum. I think when you over prepare, you end up with discipline problems because they get board. You will be amazed how they acclimate and learn the rules in kindergarten. Even if you end up holding one back in KG, which you should not worry about now, at least they will be in the same school next year. Probably easier on them and you. Their birthday is a great age. Perhaps one will lean toward abilities of the older kids and one toward the younger, but I am sure that neither will be alone in their progress. Good luck.

Hold them both out until next year! My youngest daughter is in Kindergarten this year and I volunteer in her classroom every week. There are VERY obvious differences between the kids who are younger and those who are older. Especially if your boys are 'wild' as you say, please don't send them! The children who are not prepared to sit and listen are very disruptive and take the teachers' energy away from the class as a whole. They don't have to be robots who sit 'like a bump on a log', but they do need to behave properly. Those children also continue to have discipline problems, which is obviously damaging to their self-esteem. The children do not care who is younger and who is older, but they do notice who has been through Kindergarten once already and got retained. Please keep them out this year, if you work with them you will be very surprised at how much they will mature in one year! As a side note: My school system is a 1/2 day program where time is a valuable commodity, so discipline issues take a lot away from the classroom!

I have a very wild 4 yr old boy that will be 5 in June... I took him to a nerou-development center just a few weeks ago because of issues we are having with him. I was questioned on if I was going to be sending him to kindergarden next year... I told them I was on the fence, but hadn't desided one way or the other because of his wildness & behavior issues. He has been in headstart (pre-k) for 2 years now, and doesn't have a lot of issues there - but is bull headed and his teacher does have issues with him not wanting to do what he is to do when the class is doing things. He gets along with the other kids, but we also have a 5 yr old & a 2 yr old.

Anyways, the doctor I talked to told me under no circumstance should I keep him out of kindergarden - that after 2 years of pre-k he should have more knowledge of his letters, numbers, shapes, and colors. And that most pre-k teachers are not trained to deal with certain kids & ablitlies... they teach all kids the same & don't alter teaching ways for anyone. But normal schools have special trained teacher that are able to alter the teaching of kids based on the child. That he feels that pre-k isn't doin any justic for my boy & that kindergarden will be his best bet.

I do know my daughter (now in kindergarden) has been given extra help in areas... she goes into a one on one class for about 45 min a day. She has learned more then I expected her to this year and is even reading now & the school year is only half over. The school my kids go to have lots of extra help for kids with special issues and needs. Check into your local grade school and see what they my have to offer your son... it may suprise you - it did me. Also, our daughters school has a program called the 100 book challange - it asks that parents help kids read for eleven 15 min sections each week. We have read more then that with our daughter, but she also loves reading and being read to - so it's not hard to do with her.

I do have to say... my kids are at a disadvantage in the fact that dad has ADHA and both mom & dad have dyslexia (which I know can be passed on). And I'm being told that my son's behavoir issues might be linked to either one of our issues. So, he is going in for more testing to see if he needs a special assesment sent to the school to help him a bit more. Although thus far my daughter's teacher (eventhough it's his first year teaching) has done wonders for my daughter's learning & seeing where she needs extra help & getting it for her.

Personnaly, I wouldn't hold one kid back for fears the other might not pass kindergarden or because you don't think they are ready. They may both suprise you and do great next year in kindergarden. Just be willing to help them in the evening & on the weekend, because now days even kindergardens have homework.

As an added note: Both my hubby & I repeated kindergarden... I'm sure for different reason & in different schools. My 2nd year of kindergarden they had be take both the morning & afternoon kindergarden & in the 3rd grade is when I finaly went through the testing and found out why I had such issues in school (dyslexia). But I was always an honor student & even went on to get two Assoc. degrees. Yes, it's harder for me then most & I have to work at it a bit more, but it has nothing to do with being smart. And as long as you remind your son of that, being held back a year isn't the end of the world!!! My mom even made me think it was my desition to stay in kindergarden an extra year to help me feel better about it. I think it's all in how you handle the situation.

Good luck in making your choose & take care!!

Maturity is a extremely important factor. Don't be confused by academic achievements and maturity. One may be "smarter" or what have you then the other but you could cripple them later due to the maturity thing. If it were me I would NOT split them up for the same reasons you mention. I would hate to affect twin b's self esteem. That is important and well lets face it...everything is about competition in life..thats the world we live in.

As for the teachers hidden agenda..I would try not to let that be a thought. Funny but yes boys are crazy wild but believe it or not they will probably calm down. My son had more of the maturity issue than anything. He couldn't start K anyway due to his late birthday but i kid you not in that 1 year he had to wait he matured so much! We were amazed by what 1 year could do...

Good luck to you!

K.

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I only skimmed your many responses, but wanted to throw in our experience.

What is the cut-off for school enrollment? That will give you some indication of how old the other kids will be. My son was one day past the cut-off and we started him anyway. I hear it from his teachers every year - it's almost like they pigeonhole him because they know he's the youngest and expect him to be immature. He is a little wild and we do have issues, but he is never any more so than the other kids his grade.

His birthday is August though. Your boys are 2-3 months ahead of him.

The main things that have bothered me about starting him early though is the fact that he'll be doing everything early now. His friends will all be driving before him, but he'll
still be running around town with his driving friends. And we'll be sending him off to college a year early.

If your boys are in preschool now, perhaps finding another preschool or pre-k program would be in their best interest. Having them in a structured environment with classroom expectations will only help
them when they do enter kindergarten. With a preschool you'll also have more communication and attention from their teacher than what you will in public school. There may also be kindergarten classes nearby that are tied to day care centers. That way they are doing kindergarten twice, but it will be in different schools with different teachers.

I would definitely keep them together though, especially them being the same sex. With my son being a bit wild (but academically he's always made straight As and is in fourth grade now) his first grade teacher had him helping others when he finished his work and this made him feel important and also kept his idle hands (and mouth!) out of trouble. He is always eager to help classmates now since she got him doing this so young. Perhaps this will help the son who is a little more advanced.

My thought is to send them and see what happens, but please please please do not separate them! This will result in them having to explain to their friends why they are twins in different grades for the next 13/14 years! They are chronologically ready for school and you would be amazed at how a little peer modeling and a good teacher can bring your other child up to speed.

My suggestion would be to keep them both at home and do kindergarten work at home next year. Each of them can proceed at his own pace with the work, without pressure to keep up with the class. There have been several studies recently that going to school earlier doesn't have any long-term benefits in learning anyway. School them at home this year, then see if they are ready for first grade :) Or just keep homeschooling them!

I think it's okay to keep them both out for another year and then decide K or 1st grade. Also, just wondering if you have 1/2 day kinder as an option and maybe separating them that way. It's their first year of school, so I don't think waiting will hurt anything. I come from a small town, and I still remember the kids who started with me in Kindergarten and were pulled out because they weren't ready. I don't remember who the oldest kid in our class is. So, just thinking that it might be better to err on the side of waiting another year than to start them and then end having to pull them out.

If your kids teacher thinks they are not ready then its probably a good idea to hold them back. However I would not send them to a babysitter nor would I keep them in preschool either. I would look around for a good pre-K program that has been developed for kids like yours.

We have a kid in our preschool that goes to a preK program 4 days a week and comes to preschool 1 day a week. He has really changed alot and enjoys both programs.

If your child is 5 before the date to enroll in kindergarten, but your child in. There is nothing worse than being the oldest child in your class. Children can learn at any age. Don't take this opportunity away from your child.

You know your boys best. In my own experience, I was not ready for kindergarten at age five, so my Mom waited till I was six. I had no problems with self-esteem because I was older than a lot of the other kids. My brother, on the other hand, was more than ready by age five, and had already taught himself how to read. SO… judge your kids as their mother who wants the best for them. Don't separate them; as other mom's have said, that will wreak havoc on their brother-friendship and on their self-esteem.

Their preschool teacher… she may be looking out for her own job, but at the same time her job is to teach your kids and give you honest appraisals of their maturity and learning. So unless there is something obviously self-interested about her, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. That being said, if your boys are naturally rambunctious (my brother was the same way), giving them a year to mature more will help a lot.

Yes, boys and girls learn differently. Girls are ready at an earlier age than boys (usually) for school because they mature faster. Your boys may never be 'bumps on logs', but you could take the next year to teach them how to sit for lessons and to let out their energy during recess and breaks.

As I said, you know your boys best. I hope this helps!

side-note: I have twin brothers (the youngest) so congrats on the special joy they bring! (I love them to pieces!)

God bless!
M. D.

You know, I heard an Education Specialist speak once and she mentioned how it is appalling that little kids (pre-schoolers and kidergartners) are expected to sit for long periods of time and not move around. And when they DO move around, they get labeled as wild or something.

Have you considered a Montessori school, at least for the first few grades? The Montessori system is much different then a traditional classroom.

A friend of mine, whose son does have ADHD, but not severe, decided it was better for her son to put him in a Montessori school for the lower grades. Being an educator herself, she researched the program and determined it was the best course of action for her very high energy little boy. He did very well, progressed academically, and eventually went into the regular public system.

It's just something to consider. In many aspects the public system is very good, but for some it just isn't the right learning environment. It may be that your boys ARE ready, but they just need a different learning environment.

I would not separate them... no one can predict how either will do in future circumstances. I loved the one twin's comment about being separated from her twin... the person she was born to be with.

The teacher is most likely concerned about her ability to do her job with them in the classroom... she's a red flag I would not ignore. The first thing I would do is go to the class and observe the teacher's current class... and then make your decision. Maybe the teacher is already strained and you can see it... and maybe she knows it too. Maybe you wouldn't want to put any kids in her care... I dunno, but you would have another view, another piece of the puzzle to consider.

My experience with early childhood educators with my son, grandson and others has been excellent... but I know that statistically, most teachers have lost the idealistic positivity within a year after being in the field... the reasons they became a teacher have been lost. Their only human... and come with their own issues and unresolved idiosyncracies. You only have to sit in a teachers lounge awhile to hear their all-too-humanness.

As to holding them back... thats a tough call. I have a late Oct. b-day, and was made to wait... even though I could read at 4. My family spoke to the teacher, principal and county superintendent of education. All said I should wait. They were wrong... I was always the head of the class, and always bored with waiting for everyone else to catch up. It was like punishment. In the 7th grade I tested at a high school senior level... so was bored for many years till I dropped out in high school.

My grandmother went through 2-3 grades every year and finished teachers college when she was 16. That was not unusual then... if you had the aptitude the system was not in favor of dumbing you down with boredom... whereas now, its all by the book - its figures and statistics... not individual competency. Kids then worked before and after school... now kids watch TV, play video games and eat junk and pharmaceuticals... and classes are larger. ...and teachers more stressed out.

I'm the older sister of twins, not a mother of twins, so here is my view point. Usually in a twin situation, there is a more dominant twin. He will be the leader, the other is the yes man. My sister was definetly the more dominant of the two. My brother did whatever she told him to do. She was more outgoing, bigger, wilder, and more academically ready for kindergarten at the time. My mother of course wanted the two of them together because they always were and she couldn't imagine how one would get along without the other. The school absolutely refused, she was told that twins especially needed to learn to get along without each other. It was probably the best thing for them. They made different friends and really seemed to develop separate lives and interests. My sister didn't change as much, but my brother really develloped a great love of art and music. He didn't get the chance to do this when he was always following my sister's orders. Once they got into jr. high and high school noone would have even known that they were twins except that they had the same last name. They had different frineds, differnet interests, and different grades. They took different classes, they went on in their lives to do very different things. It's very hard for a family to separate twins. You really think of them as one entity "the twins," or "the boys." However, they are not always going to be that way. I did know one set of twins, both boys who were in different grades. It was really not a problem for them, they had different interests, one loved school and learning, the other loved taking apart motorcycles and fixing them, they had different friends because of their different interests. I also knew a brother/sister set who were in the same grade but weren't twins. Some people thought they were, but if you asked they would tell you they weren't. The boy had been held back. It wasn't a problem for him, they had different friends and different interests. You have to do what is right for your boys as individuals. If they weren't twins and one was ready to go while the other wasn't, you wouldn't think twice about sending one and holding the other back for a year. The twin thing is very over rated. They'll be over it very soon; they will separate themselves, and it will be much easier on you if you let it happen. All that being said, take them to registration at the school and ask about your concerns. The teachers and school psychologist will be prepared to discuss this with you and will recommend what they feel is best, without the bias that the family has toward "the twins." I know I sound harsh, but sometimes our feelings get in the way of making the best decisions. Good luck.

Obviously you will have to make the decision that is right for your family but personally I would keep them together. If one is not ready yet hold them back another year and maybe just do school type activites at home to help prepare them for when they do go.

Yes, there is a big differnece between boys and girls. I can also tell you that my oldest's birthday is in October. She has a cousin who is 5 months older than she is, and when the cousin was ready to start kindergarten, I thought mine was probably ready too, but after we spent an afternoon with them, I noticed that even 5 months makes a big difference. They're both smart, but you could tell, her cousin was more ready to "take direction" etc....it was just different.

I do have neighbors with twin 5 year old boys who held them back. They're smart boys, but she could tell they just weren't ready.

I understand your husband's view of "why hold them both back if one's ready", but the preschool teacher mentioned they're not ready yet. Give her a little credit - this is what she does for a living. It is not in her best interest to tell you to keep them back - 2 kids staying at pre-school for 1 more year isn't a monetary windfall enough that she'll be able to retire any time soon.

My brother was held back a year, and it didn't hurt him any - it wasn't because he wasn't smart, it was because he wasn't ready developmentally to do that yet, and my mother is a teacher so would know.

It isn't a sin to hold them both back even if they are really smart. It isn't a question of whether or not they're smart - it's whether they're developmentally ready to follow direction and able to sit still, stay on task, etc.

I'd consider holding them back.

We have been debating this question for a while now with our daughter who will turn 5 May 24. We called the school and talked with a couple of people to get a better understanding as to what she will be required to know and learn. Kids need to be able to count and recongnize numbers 1 -100 before they finish kindergarten, recognize and know all the letters of the alphabet and start the process of writing the letters of the alphabet by the end of school. They are suppose to know their colors, shapes, very well. Our school suggests that they can route count to 30 before they even get into kindergarten.

Also from what I have seen other friends go through it is better to hold them back then it is to go through the child being held back in school as they will have already started the process of making friends with the friends they will go through school with the rest of their life. I don't think keeping the son you feel is ready back one more year and just working with him and pushing him a little more to keep him learning. Separating them now I can see will pose a lot of issues with them as they get older especially when you are the one choosing to hold one back. Think of how you might feel if you parents chose to hold you back from your twin to me that would be harsher then seeing my son get bumped up a grade cause the school thought I should be in a higher grad. That said getting them tested individually before going in might be a good way to make the decision if they both test in great, if one tests in and the other not, great (they made that decision and it is not on your) if they both don't test ready then great too, you have a good source telling you they are not read.

Good luck with your decision it is a hard one to do! We still don't have the answer yet for our daughter but we did get her registered as it is easier to register when registration is going on then trying to get them registered later on. We can always pull her out of the running.

I was faced with a similiar situation several years ago. I don't have twins, but I have a son who is getting ready to turn 16 next month, so, his birthday is in March. I kept him in pre-school another year. It was the best thing I could have done for him. We also found out that he has severe ADHD and is on medicine for that. He is a Freshman in high school and will be 16. For us, it was the right decision. He was ready to go to school by the next fall. I did take him to the kindergarten screening and they agreed with me that I should hold him back. Maturity-wise, he just wasn't ready yet.

I don't envy your situation. I know you want to and have to treat them as individuals, but I can't imagine separating them..I do think that would be very awkward later in school years. I've had at least 3-4 sets of twin friends growing up and the were attached at the hip, had all the same friends, etc. I don't think having them in different grades would be a good idea. I would send them both...OR I would put them both in 5 day a week preschool..but a preschool that is very education focused or perhaps something like Montessori. I suppose you could do preschool for a quarter or semester, see how they're doing and maybe start them in kindergarten midyear if they're too advanced for preschool? You may want to consider finding out if that's a possibility. Good luck.

The only option I can think of if you want to send 1 this year and 1 next is to send them to separate schools for the rest of their lives to decrease the ridicule, but that really seems like it would create a tough situation for all of you.

Put them both in and let any decisions to hold one back be made at an academic level with involvement from teachers and counselors at the school. Unless you are a certified elementary teacher, I don't know why you would make this decision with out consulting at least.

You might be surprised! Maybe the one who seems least ready will blossom in kindergarten. You can also tell your husband that when I went to kindergarten, you started at age 4!

Cheers, C.

we are going to be in the same boat next year with my son. My husband wants to hold him back, I'm not sure yet. They could mature a lot in the next 6 months. You could also find an all day preschool 5 days a week, this worked wonders with my daughter who missed the Kindergarten deadline by a month. I would consult with the school system and have them tested and get their opinion. Like you, I don't believe my wild one will ever be the type to settle down. I would not separate them. If it comes down to it, I would hold the one back rather than push the other ahead before he is ready. You said his teacher said neither was really ready. He'll be that much more ahead of the game the next year.

LISTEN TO THE TEACHER!!! If you're that concerned about their self-esteem, HOLD THEM BACK1 As a former preschool teacher and one who's been a part of kindergarten screening, I KNOW that if they are not ready, it ends up doing more harm than good if a parent "pushes". They HAVE to be developed socially and emotionally, as well.

I think that holding one back may HELP rather than hurt.. I disagree with the riidicule issue. What if he's held back, ends up being fullty prepared and ends up doing BETTER than the other twin? HOW does that end up in ridicule? PREPAREDNESS IS IMPERATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't over emphasize that enough! LISTEN to the teacher. That's why she's the teacher. TAKE YOUR EMOTIONS out of the situation and think it through. THEN you can make a rational decision. What's in the BEST interest of both kids?

I would send them both to Kindergarten in the fall. Talk to the school for their advice. Both will blossom and change over the summer. Work on workbooks with the one you think is not ready and keep practicing letters and sight words. I would not split them up. I knew a set of twins when I was growing up and one was held back and was always in the shadow of the other.

I have boy/girl twins and it's my daughter who has always been a little behind and it has always been my biggest fear that one would be ready and one wouldn't. I just couldn't send one and not the other...I just feel the self-esteem blow that one twin moves ahead and one doesn't... kids are cruel. So if it were me, I would hold them both back. It will just make your one child ahead of the class and your other child ability to catch up... :) If you feel they aren't ready, then I would go with your gut. We may be in this predicament ourselves next year too (kids have a later birthday). However, I would still send them to pre-school simply for the continued social interaction and having to follow rules/etc and do the extra activities at home when you can as well. I would talk to your district or moms in the district about Kindergarten and what is required. Are the kids hitting any of those? Do you think they could? If not, hold back. If you reading more and talking more, see about tendency to hold children back in Kindergarten. I've heard, some are more apt and some are really less apt so the point, is if you really feel they aren't ready, give them the extra year of preschool. Good luck. It's very tough.

As a school psychologist I thought I knew what to do. As a parent, I debated long and hard over whether or not to send my daughter to kindergarten for the 2009-2010 school year. She turned 5 in August. The district I live in has a Sept. 30th cut-off. The district I work in has an August 1st cut-off date.
A lot of factors and thought processing go into deciding whether or not to send your child any time you are dealing with an April through September birth date. Ultimately, you and your husband will have to live with and deal with your decision. My suggestion is to sit down with your husband and make a list of the pros and cons of sending them this upcoming school year or the next. It may help to even write down a list of pros and cons for each boy individually. Hopefully your district does some type of effective kindergarten screening in order to give you some helpful feedback. If you are worried about academics, I would talk with your elementary principal or kindergarten teacher about your concerns. You need to become familiar with Ohio's curriculum standards and expectations. They have changed A LOT since we were school.
Also, at this point, no one should be even suggesting the idea of retention to you if kindergarten does not go well. That is a long ways off with a lot of interventions that could be done in the meantime if things are not going well early into a school year. Good Luck L., it is a difficult decision for any parent to make.

Hello,
I think you should send them both at the same time. Kids progress at different paces anyway. I was going to suggest sending them to different classes, but I see that's not an option. They will be fine. One may excel in one area and the other may excel in a different area altogether. I don't suggest sending one and not the other, because the one that gets held back may feel that the other one is being favored over him.

Take care and keep us posted on how it turns out.
Dee

My opinion is that you should hold both back and not due to their academic skills, but due to their maturity. My son is a May baby and was born 3 weeks early. His academic skills were fine, but his preschool teachers indicated he was not ready to go to kindergarten due to his maturity and his fine motor skills. I was outraged when I heard that, but am so glad that I listened. I even discussed it with my pediatrician and he said to listen to the teachers. My son is very highspirited and has more energy than 10 people. The first few months were hard on him as he had to adjust to the rules of school and our first parent teacher conference included discussion of how his behavior was affecting his grades and was a problem. When he tested he was testing above average for everything, but a lot weighs on behavior in kindergarten. If you are being told that maturity is a problem, waiting would be better versus having them fail in 1st grade because they weren't ready in kindergarten (our school system does not hold back in kindergarten - but they will in first grade)

My son has a late April birthday and a friend of mine has a son with a May birthday. She held him back a year and it was absolutely the right decision for her son. My son, it would have been horrible to hold him back. Another friend of mine has twins, one was ready, the other was not so she kept them both back a year and she does not regret it at all. My Mom is a principal for an inner-city school and has to deal with kids going into kindergarten before they are ready all of the time and it is a nightmare for her and her staff to deal with. If it were me, I would keep them together and I would probably keep them out of school for another year. That would be less harmful than one of them being retained and I think you will be surprised the number of kids they start school with whose birthdates are in line with your children. Good luck with your decision!

Most children are great at adapting. I do feel that the one who gets held back may be ridiculed. Sometimes a child may just have to repeat a grade. My youngest daughter was held back for first grade (she was making F's) the second time around she is making all A's and B's, she just needed time. Kindergarten is just another adjustment phase let them go together, because I have found that though siblings may not seem to get along perfectly they will help a struggling sibling. For instance, my oldest daughter has a learning disability and my youngest one is always trying help her learn. She helped her learn to climb a ladder and ride her bike. Any other time they are fighting like cats and dogs. Hope this helps.

hey girl :) I don't have twins, but i do have 2 boys - my oldest has a March birthday, and I sent him when he was 5, and I did see a marked difference between him and the boys that turned 6 at the beginning of the school year. He did eventually catch up, but he still struggles with self-control and school work - we spend a good 2 hrs a night on his homework, and more if he has a test the next day. Even with knowing what i know now, I don't think I would have held him back - since he is a March birthday, I think he would have had self-esteem issues if he was in the with the grade below him.

My other child is a September birthday - he turned 5 last september, and I did NOT send him to kindergarten last fall - instead I found a preschool program that he goes to 4 days a week, 3 hrs a day, which is almost like half-day kindergarten - he knew all of his letters & numbers and everything, but I just did not want to push him into kindergarten, because I don't know how he is going to develop over the years, and I saw what happened with my older son. I know that I did the right thing for him, and I think he will do great in full day kindergarten next year.

Since yours turn 5 in May, I would recommend sending them through the kindergarten screening process and see how they do - like i said i don't have experience with twins, but i would think keeping them together would probably be the best thing - one of my good friends has twins, one with special needs, and she is going to send them both to kindergarten next year together. I think you know your kids best and there is plenty of time for kids to be pushed in life - my philosophy is just let them be kids a little longer :)

good luck - sending lots of hugs!

~T.

http://MamaWorksFromHome.NET
http://FamilyBenefitsLive.com

Please keep them together. My husband is a twin, and there always has been a lot of competition between them, especially because they are boys and boys are usually very competitive. I'm afraid that it will hurt the self-esteem of the one being held back. I don't think May should be an issue. My October boy will be going to Kindergarden this August. He's also wild and the type of child who will not sit still. However, I've been working a lot at home at making him relax and focus. Little by little I've seen a lot of progress. And I know that in 6 months there can be a lot more changes in him that will make him more ready to Kinderganden -that's also what his teacher told me. I'd question your twin's teacher opinion. NOT all teachers are great I know that from my own experience. I'd said prepare them now for K and send them both on August. You still have 6 months. If everybody does their job-most likely- they'll be ready.

I sent my August baby at age5 and highly regretted it. I should add she was a preemie so her real birthday should have been October so she should have not really been able to go. She did ok academically she wasn't failing but she could have done better, she really struggled emotionally and socially with her peers who in comparison were an entire year older and more mature. It got worse and worse finally she hit 2nd grade and I was like this just can't go on I put her back a grade at a different school and it has made a world of a difference. She is so happy and more confident and is doing wonderfully she is no longer trying to keep up with older kids she fits right in.

I would highly recommend keeping both twins at home another year it won't hurt. There is absolutely nothing negative about keeping a child even the brightest home another year. I've never heard a horror story about a child suffering from another year at home. I have however heard to many horror stories about kids like my own being sent to early. Technically our state law is a child has to be enrolled in school by the age of 7. So technically they don't have to even go to school at age 5 or even age 6. What's the rush?

Hi L.,

Please stick to your guns. I asked my pediatrician (a Univeristy of Michigan doctor) this question about a week ago. I have a 4 year old son who will be 5 this summer. I asked my pediatrician what her advice was as to whether or not I should hold him back a year since my sister-in-law, who is a teacher had suggested holding him back a year. My pediatrician me: Absolutely not. Unless the child has a developmental disability, it is not advisable. She said based on: Recent studies have recently shown that kids who are held back a year suffer self-esteem problems because their peers lable them as the "dumb" kids since they were held back. The kids will adjust to their peers in school--there is no reason to hold back unless their is a medical reason such as a developmental disability.