September Cut off Date

I am a teacher and I have an August Baby, who is a boy. He too could do all of those things. We sent him on to regular Kinder; he was the youngest in his class....it was a hard hard year. He constantly struggled with the social stuff....we decided to retain him because he was and is too smart to always have to struggle. He had the academic brain capacity BUT he just needed more time.........give them the gift of time, especially boys. They grow so fast, and now he is the top of his class in all areas in "super kindergarten"

My son was after the cut-off date, and after a great deal of agonizing, I decided to keep him in pre-school for another year. It has paid off brilliantly (he's 16 now). It's difficult for kids -- boys especially, because they develop later than girls -- to be the youngest in the class. And you'll never hear any kid complain about being the oldest. I've now experienced both sides of the story, as I have stepkids who were put ahead, all (3) of whom have had issues about being young for their grade. There are social issues to consider, most of which don't crop up until the pre-teen/teen years, and they're not inconsiderable

Wait... You won't be sorry. And there's nothing wrong with an extra year of play time...

Hi Tara,

I am a retired teacher and believe me, the children who were older always had fewer problems academically, socially, and emotionaly. I always gave this advise to parents who asked the question you did--it's always better to be the oldest in the class, than the youngest. If he needs extra challenges, find things out of school to meet that need.

Good luck,
AP

Hi, I deeply regret sending my daughter to kindergarten so young. We lived in California and the cutoff date there is Dec. 2nd (at the time anyway) well when we moved to Colorado I noticed that everyone in her 1st grade class was a whole year older than her. I wanted to hold her back but she academically is advanced so I felt she would be completely bored. Now she is in 4th grade and is 9 while all her friends are 10. I can see a difference between her social development and her friends. I am so concerned how things will be in middle school/hs and I really wish I would've just held her back. She also has been not taking the lead and just following everything her friend are doing. If I were in your shoes, I would definilty just wait and send him next year. I've never heard anyone say they regretted hold their child back but I do hear alot of the opposite. Good luck whatever you decide.

I agonized over this decision with my daughter, who has a Sept. 5 birthday. She's very bright, and had already been through Montessori kindergarten. When she was about to turn 5 we had the choice of putting her in public school kindergarten or first grade. On the advice of others, we opted for kindergarten to avoid her being the youngest.

The decision was hard for me because I'm a Nov. 3 baby and had been put ahead, and was proud of being the youngest kid in my class. I turned out fine, graduated with my MBA at 22, and have provided well for my family (my husband is a stay-at-home Dad).

At first I wasn't sure I had made the right decision for our daughter. The gifted program is only a couple of hours in the grade school years, and she was, in fact, bored. That all changed when she got to middle school and attended all her classes with other gifted kids.

Now, she is 15 years old and in high school, and I see the real pay-off. Because she is more mature than others in her class, she is far more resistant to peer pressure than I had been. Not proud to admit it, but in high school I did stupid things to be "popular" (drank, smoked pot, blew off my homework, etc.)

My daughter does none of those things. She is extremely competitive athletically and academically, comfortable in her own skin, and has no interest in trying to be part of the popular crowd, or engage in risky behavior.

I now see that my husband and I made the right decision for our daughter. You're making the right decision, too.

Yes, you many respones just would like to add a quick one. I have a Masters in Ed and have taught Prek to the college level. I am now a sahm with two girls 8 and 6. I am also a a member of a large educated family. Being the younger of the nine I can easily learn from their experiences. All of their children are grown now.
I suggest you enroll you son in another preschool or the same one for familiarity four days or five days a week. You can also do additional activities such as going to the library weekly on your own, work on all the tasks he knows as you do your daily errands...counting the fruit add the other items for total, paint and make crafts at home, explore parks and the outdoors, make paper, make toast and practice spreading peanut butter and cutting the bread into-counting pieces, singing, dancing, swimming, karate, go to church, volunteer with him,make a chore list and do them, read to your child, do many, many small projects with Dad or join a moms club. There are endless things you can do with your child after school to keep him from being "bored".

As you have read from comments about sending your child early, yes there are a myriad of problems that may occur later
socially and physically. Such as even though some children being mentally above average but an emotionally below average that causes many problems when interacting with other children, fightling bullying and hitting. Having your child entering school as the district guideline suggests may give your son a better chance to receive scholarships to attend better universities as long as he maintains he mental prowess.

Remember, you are not alone, not the first, and the schools have been in the business of teaching around the world for many years, yes there are exceptions to everything and you can even home school, and remember you are a young family so relax and enjoy the time you have; it is so precious.

Have a great time with your family!
J

Hi Tara!

I saw your many responses and I concur with having your child just wait his turn. It's wonderful that he is advanced beyond his years, I can relate as my children now 22, 11 and 3 1/2, are as well.
Here's a little background as to our experience: My daughter and older son were reading before entering Kindergarten and I was concerned about how their peers would react to them. Fortunately for my daughter, was tested while in Kindergarten, my older son was tested at first grade. Academically, he scored at 4th grade level, socially he was right where he was at and denied into the Gifted program. At second and third grade, his teachers requested to have him tested again...this time we declined. As proud as we are of our children, to subject them to rejection so early was worse than being teased at high school. We moved to a different state and part of their entry process for new students, a battery of screenings were performed...at that point he was considered gifted and with permission place in a pull-out program with his peers. This is now in his records and taking advance subjects. My youngest barely makes the cutoff where we live in Florida of 1 September. His birthday is 31 Aug. He is doing everything he's suppose to but we still see that he is easily influenced by others. So now we have to decide if we should wait a year or send him because he's eligible. So keep you son's interests and work with him....he'll be fine.

Good luck.
T.

In my opinion it's always better to have a child be a little bit older as opposed to a little bit younger. It isn't a matter of intelligence. My youngest(of four) had his birthday in the end of July so I ran into this. I had him wait to start school the following year so that he'd be a leader and not a follower. I had noticed than when he played with boys slightly older he tended to NOT take the lead but when he played with boys slightly younger he took a leadership position. Everyone thought I was crazy to have him go to pre-school one more year but it was great. he loved pre-school and is a leader now. What's the rush?

Hi Tara, My son was born Aug. 26th the cut off date here is Sept. 1st. I struggled with what I should do with him for probably a year. He can already read and he's very smart (like he knows all the capitals and states. But socially he was a little lacking. The teachers told me to send him on to Kindergarten because he can read, the parents all seem to say hold him back. But a friend of mine who has the same August birthday gave me the best answer. He said he was pushed on to Kindergarten and academically he was fine. But when he went on to Jr. High he still had an elementary mentality and when he went to High School it was a Jr. High mentality and college it was a high school mentality. His friends in his class could drive almost a year before he could and his height didn't catch up to him until he was a senior which prevented him from playing varsity basketball and feeling comfortable dating. He said he just always felt out of place socially. Anyway I kept my son in preschool another year and just at the end of January I saw a real turn around in social skills and also in willingness to do certain things like write and color. And I feel that he will go to Kindergarten with the skills that he should have instead of struggling with not having them. I'm really happy with my decision now. Good luck!

My son was a Sept. 3rd birthday. He DID make the cut off date. As a teacher, I too worried
if I should hold him back. But let him go to see if he would be o.k.

It all depends on your child. I am a kindergarten teacher, and I have students who are older that are clingy to mom & have a hard time 'seperating' from the mom. So it's what
ever is the temperment of the child.

I have a couple little guys who are young, but you'd never know it. They are sharp as a tack.
We give a readiness test district wide, but it
is not for the purpose of promoting gifted students or for discouraging parents.

It is mostly for 'teachers' to know the student's level. If someone were VERY immature or behaviors, then a team ( teacher-principal-etc) could counsel the parents.

If your 3 1/2 year old can do all you say he can, I'd like to have him in my class ( kindergarten) so he could help some of the 5 year olds who are at a 3 year old level.

Peer tutoring is extremely beneficial to both
the students.

I know I am very late and you are probably bored to death with reading responses, but I feel I needed to congratulate you on making a very hard decision. It is a very hard choice because you feel it will affect them for the rest of their lives. I had to do this twice and it never got easier. When we moved from CA to IL, my daughter was in pre-k and since their cut-off is December 1, she was on her way to Kindergarten. IL is September and she missed it by 2 days. The district did have testing and we agonizied for weeks about what to do. If we didn't send her, she would just be repeated everything she did in CA, if she tested well and we did send her, she would forever be the youngest in her class. UGH!!! What is a parent to do?? My daughter started speaking at 7 months old and was talking in complete sentences by one year. She was doing simple math problems by 2 years old, so you can see our dilemma? Well, after months of struggling with ourselves, we held her, and I have to tell you it has been the best decision we have made for her. She is a leader, always, instead of having to play catch up, her confidence has bloomed to proportions I could have only imagined. Well, then in the glow of my apparent good parenting (?), now comes my sons turn. Even bigger choice in a way, because he turned 5 in June, plenty of time before the cut-off. Even though he spoke very clearly, knew shapes, colors, the whole works and had been in 3 and 4 year old pre-school, he was very shy around groups of people. Also, at the time our kindergarten was all day. What's a mom to do??!! I think if it had been 1/2 day Kindergarten, I would have sent him, but with it all day, we held him. The only regret I have now is we moved to a district with only 1/2 day Kindergarten - UGH! - and whereas he is not bored, he could handle all day. But he has come out of shell so well and is really enjoying school and again, is usually a leader, instead of a follower. There are kids that read better than him, are taller than him, and he fits in just right!

So, after all of this rambling, my point is,I think you absolutely made the right decision. Don't second guess yourself, instead congratulate yourself on being completely selfless and doing the best thing you can for a lifetime of learning and development for your child. That is what parenting is truly about.

Hi Tara,

I was a First Grade Teacher for 32 years. I am now retired. First of all I appreciate the fact that you asked that important question about the cut off date. I have seen so many times the school board would over ride the rule and let students enter first grade early. In most cases it has been a mistake because of lack of maturity. That is why the rule was made. When I first started teaching the date was Nov. 15th. Maturity has nothing to do with a child's intellegence. So, the student usually did above average work but didn't jell well with all the other aspects of first grade. Girls usually do better then boys but boys will pass them about junior high in math and science. My own daughter entered first grade in September when the cut off date was Nov 15th. Her birthday was Nov 1st. I wish now that I had kept her back because she was so immature. I had her tested and she was reading well into 2nd grade, math skills were middle first grade and so was recommended that she enter in September. She caught up in about junior high and ended up graduating from high school with a 3.8 gpa.
My recommendation to you is challange you child with music, art, history, crafts and lots of jigsaw puzzles. Also check out the kindergartens and make sure you send him to one that will challenge him beyond where he is. I hope that when he does go to first grade that they individualize his reading and math. That way he can move at his own rate and not be held back. Also he may be tested for the gifted program. He must test in the 98 percentile in math, reading, and vocabulary in order to qualify. There is so much you can do at home for him to get him ready for life. You don't want a frustrated child but one that is happy and successful with school and life. That will be up to your hard work and for sure up to the dedication and experience of a good first grade teacher.

It is a big mistake to interpret "above average" with a child's developmental level. Age 4 is still age 4, even if a child is a genius. Just because your child is smart does not mean he (s)he has to miss out on early developmental activities. If he has a little extra time to go enjoy music, art, story time, large muscle activities in the playground, time with mom, time to experiment with sand and water, it will contribute far more to his "above average" intellectual growth than going to school will. That may sound like a contradiction, but the sad fact is that most schools push children to sit, be quiet, color in adult drawn pictures, walk in a line, etc etc etc. None of those activities will help your child. Just be careful that the art program that you take him to truly understands early childhood art and won't be having him make stereotypical adult assembled art projects. Scribbling on large paper while standing will contribute more to your child's literacy than learning the alphabet now will. See the book Young at Art (Henry Holt) and you will be able to do your own art activities at home if you are not sure about local programs. You will be very glad he had this extra year of childhood when he grows up!I had my own very smart child repeat kindergarten and it was the best decision I ever made.

Hi Tara, I am in the same situation with my son (b-day 9/9), and as much as I would LOVE him to start preschool this fall, I know I can only help him by giving him that extra year. I am an elementary school teacher (K and 3rd grade over the past 8 years) and I cannot tell you how nice it is for boys to be a little older. Technically, you can probably petition your school district to admit your son at 4 yr. 11 mo. (or definitely in a the private/parochial sector), but I would strongly encourage you to find a 5 day pre-K program and let your son do that. Even though he is advanced, a good program will keep him entertained and involved in activities. As a rule, most boys are slightly less advanced socially and maturity wise than girls and do MUCH better with that extra year. My son is also quite advanced for his age, but I really think he will do better with his peers (especially as he gets older--think sports, driving, entering college...) if he is the oldest in his class rather than the youngest.

That's my two-cents...Good luck with your decision :)

I have an 11 year old son who DID make the cut-off (by a few days), but we decided to wait anyway so he wouldn't be the youngest in his class. My husband was always the smallest one in his class and HATED it. We'd always known our son was bright...he was reading chapter books before he entered kindergarten, but there is so much more than academics to deal with. He had an iq test recently, and tested "high superior" in most categories. He's testing at a high school level and beyond in some areas, but socially, he's right where he belongs. You have to deal with people all your life. I think some kids who are pushed ahead for the academics miss some very important social skills. Most school districts have gifted programs for the bright kids so that they can be challenged academically without pressuring them socially.

In my experience (I have children that are now 18, 16, and 13) social factors are a bigger consideration in school cut off dates than academic factors. If you are able to waive the cut off date for your son he will be one of the very youngest of the class, especially because a lot of people hold their kids back even when it isn't strictly necessary. My son turned 5 two months before the cut off date for our kindergarten and he is still the 2nd youngest in his 11th grade. Some kids are a full year older than he is. I don't know your son, but being so much younger can mean that he is a little less mature than the other members of the class. He might have more trouble sitting in circle time, or in his seat by the time he gets to 1st grade or so. In 6th grade, he might still want to play with toys while others are getting interested in girls. High school comes, and the rest of the kids are getting their driver's licenses, but your son will have to wait. Obviously none of these things are crises necessarily, but a child's social comfort becomes more and more important to him/her as he/she gets older, so it is worth thinking through. Some kids do fine being younger--mine has--but others end up getting held back later anyway--like a friend of my son's--because they just weren't ready. I don't think there is any one right answer. Because your son is bright he'll probably be fine academically either way. You just have to decide if he will be emotionally/socially able to fit in with kids a bit older.

Good luck!

what a wonderful once- in -a- life- time season to nuture the mind and heart of a possible genius!!!!

i would look up homeschool groups in your area if you are able to spen time with him, or church/synagogue based nursery/kindergartens where he could get the more personal attention he needs .

i can hear it now in his memoirs 20 years from now- it was because of my mother's early nuture that i am who i am today.
NanP

Hi Tara. I haven't been in your situation, but am somewhat familiar with it because I have 2 kids in school and see all of the kids and have talked to teachers about different topics. My daughter is in kindergarten, but her birthday is August. Our school district has the Sept. 1 deadline. There are actually 2 other students in her class that are a few weeks younger than her, but made the deadline, and at the beginning there was definitely a difference. But by November, her teacher told me that the "late" kindergartners were catching up and figuring out what to do. On the reverse, the older kids (September and October birthdays mainly) did a little better in the beginning as far as sitting still and concentrating, but they are still kids. Now in February, everybody is at the same level, and one of the moms of the older girls that's friends with my daughter says that she's happy with her daughter's progress because had she been eligible to start a year earlier she would have floundered a bit emotionally. My long-winded point is, no matter when your child starts, he'll be fine. If you want, look at it this way; he's got one more year to be your little boy before starting him on the whole school thing.

Hi Tara! I have 3 kids of my own. Is he your oldest? I have a girl that her bday is 9/11 and she is 6 now. She just started kindergarden this year. Here is my advice.... There are 3yr old preschools out there. Send him to that. Don't rush your kids to grow up. Take it from me, I have a 14yr old and it goes fast enough on it's own. They do need to develope with kids there own age and learn social behaivior. They are only kids once and you can't get that back. Yeah, he is bright, but just try and let him be his age and have fun w/ kids his own age. Sometime when you push your kids ahead you have bigger problems later.

Hi Tara

I know the struggle that you went through. My son has a November birthday...same question...do you send him early or wait? We based our decision to start him in the later year based not on, how developmentally ready he was at the time (he was very), but, on things that come later: Jr. High kids mature differently (i.e., shower room stuff...which really becomes important to them at that age..my son is a great athlete: swimming/choi kwan do/basketball/tennis/skiing...but he is not a 'big' guy: 40th %-ile weight/30th %-ile height...very muscular from swimming), and on High School stuff (i.e., the older kids are going to be able to stay out later earlier, have a later curfew sooner, be able to drive sooner, etc.). We started our child later...he's 9 years old right now, getting all A's and doing wonderfully (socially)with his classmates. He's also very responsible, and, truth be told, as responsible as he is right now, I'd rather that he was the one driving later on...I may not be saying that in a few years, but for now, I think it was the right decision FOR HIM (maybe not right for everyone...who knows?).

A

A

I had the same issue and my sons b date was 9-5 and they would not let him into kindergarten. I was told I could apply for early entrance and I did that which required an IQ TEST TO BE GIVEN BY A PSYCHOLOGIST and the cost is up to the parent. I called back and notified them and they said his IQ had to be 130 my sons was 124. Needless to say we were told that you either deal with the immaturity or have behavior problems because they will not be able to teach my son anything he does not already know,this was said to us by the psychologist. We had him in a charter school for preschool and they just put him in kindergarten-he had to stay all yr and then we pulled him out for 1st grade and put him in the same school that would not take him for kindergarten and he is now in 2nd grade. He is younger than the other kids but he can do the work. I would rather have it this way than the latter and he has adjusted well. I guess it's abt what you as the parent want for your child. I hope this also has helped you and your decision.

I had the same situation with all three of mine. The one who barely missed the cutoff dates got so far ahead at home she was reading novels when school started. We were lucky in some cases, with schools willing to work with us.

If I had it to do over again, I would have started homeschooling, but I'm pretty old and I didn't know about that then.

I would not hold my child back from learning, even though you'll hear you should. My children are grown and I've seen the end results. Get him as learning motivated as possible. When mine started school, they switched to whole language, and children their age didn't learn to read, but mine all did. Then, before school starts, meet with the principal to decide if they are going to work out. I found older, experienced teachers the most flexible in my case. Don't be afraid to change teachers if needed.

Brag away, mom! By all means that is your right and your job :)

Every child is different, so just pay attention to where your son is personally. I was put into school an entire year early, and it never bothered me to be the youngest in my class. I was in my own world a lot of the time and socially behind, however (especially as high school hit). I did not do well in kindergarten with reading and abstract concepts like what a vowel is, or what a paragraph denotes. It took me some time before it "clicked". Fortunately, I was in a private school and I was not ridiculed by the other children or teacher for asking questions to which they already knew the answers, and I was not therefore shy about learning things when the time came - I would speak up and ask, even if the material had already been presented. I therefore took off in reading and haven't put a book down since!

I never did like math, and this to me is not one of my strengths. Unfortunately, my mom pushed me into high math classes in middle and high schools, which did not help. I became more reclusive and embarrassed about asking questions, particularly since by that time I was in public school and ridiculed for this "not being able to keep up". I wish I had just been put back into a regular math class to learn the basics, which is all I use in my regular life now and it has served me fine.

I am quite adept in other areas; math is just not my natural gifting. I was, however, great with languages and was able to take a high school level French class while in middle school. I also took off once I reached college, away from pressures of parents and schoolmates. Every child is different...pace your child's progress according to his own abilities, NOT the school, his chronological age, or your own wants/desires.

Also, treasure your time now with him while he's small...my three-year-old son also misses the cutoff by a few weeks. I am sad but also a bit glad...another year with mom! What adventures we will have! I can never re-gain or re-live this year with him again, and I will enjoy it thoroughly.

My opinion is not to send him. It is hard to be the youngest in the class. And even though it may not be an issue this year, maturity will be a factor...especially with boys. The younger kids struggle. Just think about it. He will just be turning 5 and there will be kids already 6 in September and close to 7 by the end of the year. That is a full 12-18 months difference between the children.

I lived in PA for most of my life. We lived in Ohio for 7 years and then moved back to NJ. We have a 7 yo boy and a 2 yo girl. If we were still in Ohio, age wouldn't even factor in for my DD. The cutoff in our school district in Ohio for kindie is 5 by 8/1. My daughter's birthday is 8/30. She would not have made the cut. Here in NJ it is 5 by 10/1. Even though I have a few years to make the decision, my husband and I have already decided NOT to send her and give her that extra year for maturity. And my DD is one of the brightest 2 year olds I have ever seen. (I used to teach preschool) But just because they are smart does not mean they are ready.

Just my 2 cents. You need to do what is best for your family.

~C.

This "cut-off" has been a BIG issue for us...let me explain. Our school district observes the STATE MANDATED cut-off of Sept. 1, however, they like to use their own cut-off of June 1. My son is late August but had maturity issues. We decided to hold him back before he even entered preschool and it was the BEST decision for HIM! My other son born in early April went for his kindergarten testing and although he tested at or above the expected academinc level...they recommended he wait based on his birthdate alone (he will be 6 this April and he is currently in kindergarten). This sort of upset me since every child is different regardless of their birth date! We put him in a private kindergarten to wait out the year...if he did well we would stick him in 1st grade, if he did poorly we would repeat kindergarten at the public school. He is doing better than any other child in his class AND is able to take direction well which is a sign of maturity. Therefore the teacher has recommended 1st grade next year.
In doing a LOT of research in this area...the ONE FACTOR that I learned that helped me the MOST is this: Find out what the mean ages are of the children in the school where your child will be going and base your decision on this. You don't want your son to be the VERY youngest among his peers because even though he may be mature now, in comparison to the other children all along the way (and you have to imagine him as a very young Junior in high school with older children around him) it may hurt him later.
Having said all of this...I still believe that it is ultimately an INDIVIDUAL thing and you have to look at each child differently. Now that my son's are in kindergarten and First grades, I am SHOCKED at how much is expected of them both with behavior and academics. It's not like when we were in school!!!

P.S. I work in a public school and although parents like to say that their children are "bored" and like to associate this with intelligence...let's face it ALL children are bored at school...school is boring to a child, even the one's that struggle. Both my kids find school boring at times. School is much more than academics...it's HUGE socialization skills! If your child gets bored easily with academics, then my recommendation would be to challenge them with music lessons or something in the arts!

Well if you live in the state of PA then you actually have the ability to send your child if your child is 5 within the first 2weeks of the school yr regardless of the Sept 1st deadline. As far as I know it is the law but you could check it out. AS far as sending goes, make sure that they are emotionally ready as well. Being smart is great, but you also want to make sure that you are not pushing them too soon for what they are emotionally capable of.

HI Tara:

I wouldn't fret. It happens all the time. So he'll be right on track and even build on his reading and writing. Most children seem advanced early on but then slow down as they get older. Or vise versa. Another angle you need to consider- it's not just the reading and writing that is considered but also he socially apt to other children while "reading and writing". They are all important factors that sometimes as parents we either overlook or not see at all. I would take advantage and use this year to reinforce all that he is learning and more. For when he is to take any of the state tests, they'll determine the level of strength of his educational level either to be on target or advanced. Another factor not to be (gender baised) but on the norm, boys tend to repeat a year due to starting way too early (like the predictament you are in now)and they seem advanced as well-test or no test.
Best of luck.
Mom of 4.

My daugther was born on Sept.3, she had to wait the whole year to start Kindergarden. She has been always a great student helping the others who needed help, the problem is that she started her period when she just began 3rd. grade, she grew very tall, and it was clear that she didn't belong to 3rd. grade, her body and mind was ahead of the rest of the class, it was painful for her when some boys made fun of her, they would say that she had repited 3rd grade, but she pretended that she didn't care. I moved her to a Montessori School so she would be in a class with 4th 5th and 6th graders, and she fits really well, having friends in 5th grade. I have to say that most people think that she goes to Middle School because of her heigth (5 feet 2 inches) but she is only 10 years old in a body of a teenager.
Every child develops in a different way, girls are maturing faster (we only drink organic milk and buy organic products the most as we can since she was a toddler) and you child will not live the same experience or needs as another child.

Hi there,

Been there 3 times. Not with preschool,but kindergarten. You might want to check around before putting him in preschool this early. Where I live, none of the schools in my area (including private schools) will except a child into kindergarten before the start date of their school system. They also will not let a child into first grade unless they are 6 before the start date of their school. I was told it was a state law. My son's birthday is Sept. 5th and he missed the cut off by a week. I made the mistake of putting him in preschool last year (2006-2007 season) and since the rules are what they are, he has had to sit it out this year. Thankfully he goes to a really great preschool where they teach the children great lessons (which he already knows anyhow) but, it keeps him going until he gets in school. Besides that, I teach him at home with workbooks I purchased at Walmart. The way I see it he'll be advanced when he finally gets there. Don't rush is, it's been a blessing having him home another year. I also have 2 girls both with the same issue. I was happy to have them all home the extra year. My oldest daughter is 16......believe me time flies, do yourself a favor and don't rush it. Life's busy and too short, appreciate the time you have.

Keep your son home as long as you can (if you are a SAHM). Despite what you say about his abilities, boys are less mature than boys till at least 8th grade. It is better to be the oldest in a class than the youngest. As to sports which many boys like to play in school, the extra year gives them a physical advantage. I held both of my sons back a year despite being gifted. It was a big help to them.

Tara,
My daughter also missed the cut off by a week and was just like your son. I decided to homeschool her instead of sending her to Kindergarten where she would have been repeating everything that she already knew. This has been a great choice for us and something you may consider.

Good luck.

There are also physical size issues that crop up - it is not always in your son's best interest to be the youngest and perhaps smallest in a grade. There are also emotional age differences that may not be present now but could in later years. Also, when puberty hits and middle school, you REALLY don't want your son to be the youngest!

In some districts or at a private preschool they have to be 4 by Dec. 1st. You can always call the Board of Education for your district, they should have some answers for you.

my son is now in 1st grade with a sept 28 birthday. we had similar issues with him being developmentally way ahead and missing the cut off. we could have moved him up (you can meet with the principal of your public school and push for what you want) but chose to keep him with his grade because we thought it would be an advantage in his older years. Our school district has great enrichment programs and I work closely with his teacher to make sure he is challenged. As far as your preschooler . . .have you looked into Montessori schools? He is old enough for that. If the program you are looking at is free, I would just meet with them and have them evaluate your son. If they think he is ready they will probably let him in. Remember, YOU have to advocate for you son. You can usually get what you want if you are persistent.

I know you are not thinking about this, but the other end of the spectrum is you will be sending a 16 yr old into college instead of the average 17/18yr old if he starts this early. I know most school districts where I live will not take a child into Kindergarten unless they are 5 by the 1st week in Sept. When she started kindergarten my daughter was 5 and turned 6 in February. She was bored in Kindergarten because they focus on the children who are behind, trying to catch them up to the group. Although this year, she is in first grade and really begining to be challenged. She is doing excellent, but I know some of the younger kids in her class are struggling to keep up.

Thankfully & luckily, no, my kids weren't near any cut off dates so I was never in your position. From listening to some of my friends, however, it's my understanding that you can challenge this with the school. I'd talk with guidance and/or the school psychologist.

We moms know our kids, for sure, & I don't want to deter you from doing what you think best. Sometimes holding a child back has more to do with the emotional & psychological over the physical & intellectual...I know moms that held a July/Aug birth child back with a Sept. cut off for these reasons. Also, & I debate this often, what do we do when much of society's trend is to start kids into school later & our kids are right on target? Meaning, if the bulk of the kids are older in kindergarten, who does the teacher teach to..? The older or the younger child(ren)? I volunteered in my last child's K year & her class was split....the "older" kids were more mature, followed directions easier & could sit better. The younger ones (the real age kids) were typical for their age...fidgety, immature, etc. My "job" was to be the hands on & words person, to help....sometimes I had the older group, sometimes the younger. But, it was clear the class was split. You follow...?

It's a mixed bag, for sure. Good luck in your decision!

Hi Tara,
My son is seventeen years old and his birthday is September 1. I agonized over that decision myself. He was a big child, bigger than a lot of the children a year older than him and sufficiently intelligent to be accepted.I didn't want him to be twice the size of everyone if we waited. So I went ahead and put him in school. He has never caught up academically falling on the lower range of his highschool scores and he is now just about in the same size range (which is all sorts of sizes)but he is socially very active with his peers and while not academically ahead of anyone he soars in the arts. My advice is to wait. Since I also have a son in the service I want to tell you that the old cliche time goes by too fast is true and there is never enough time to give them all of those hugs and kisses!

Tara, I know you have been inundated with responses, but my birthday was September 1st. Talk about missing the cut off. I wish they had kept me back. Developmentally he may be ahead of the game, but its too hard to tell how he will handle things like peer pressure and emotional issues later on when its critical. You will serve him so well to let him be the oldest in the class, rather than the youngest. Really, don't stress or worry. He will be fine.

If you are in the North Penn district than the cut-off date for all grade levels is September 1st. Because my son falls just a few weeks before the cut-off, they're trying to get me to hold him back a year. I had never heard of a cut-off date so early in the year. Where I grew up, it was October 1st.

The best thing to do is call the school district and get more information. Unfortunately my son has a slight speech delay so he has to go to a different preschool and we had to fight to get him to start there. It doesn't matter how "gifted" or "slow" you think a child might be, the hoops that you have to jump through are the same ones every parent has to jump through. As bad as it sounds, the only thing you can do is just follow the procedures. Their system sucks, but it is what it is.

Hi Tara
I wish I could give you insight about the cut off date, but other than going to the school you would like to put your child in and asking, I can't tell you much more.
However I wanted to tell you that your kid sounds like my first daugther when she was that age (she's 5 now) and I don't think you have to apologize for your kid being ahead academically. All kids are smart in way way or another and yes some are above average. Be proud that yours is :)
By the way, I'm homeschooling both my kids. Being a former first grade teacher I knew my dd would be bored in kindergarden in terms of learning (aside from me loving to help her learn anyway). So she gets together with friends to socialize which she adores to do... Are you in a position to homeschool? And by this I don't mean if you are a teacher, just if your family situation and if you've considered it...your kid might benefit greatly.
Otherwise, I'd suggest that you keep very close contact with whichever teacher your child gets.
Good luck!

Hi

I was wondering where you live. I teach in Bensalem and we have the same cut off date (for kindergarten). I am sure that if you have him tested they could possibly let him into kindergarten. I do know that they are very very strict about it these days. I for one never went to K. I was tested for gifted and I was skipped to first grade at the age of 5 and I had just turned 5 in July. They just don't do that anymore (this was 20 years ago. If I were you I would just put in in Pre K (for next year) and then just make a stink in your district to have him tested. I mean if he is as he is then maybe they will make an exception. That's just my 2 cents.

Hello Tara,
First off you should never apologize for being proud of your children! You are a Mom you are supposed to brag about your kids. I am having a similar issue with our school district only it is almost reverse. My Daughter is 3 1/2 her birthday is August 29th, the cutoff in our district is August 1st. Therefore she will also be one of the oldest in her class, however, she already tests at a 6 year old level on standardized tests, she has been tested by Children's Mercy and also by the school district, they both said they stopped because they had reached the point that she was getting bored not because they thought she couldn't correctly answer more questions. The reason I say my situation is different is because she is having issues with her speech, and because she is so smart she doesn't qualify for help from the school district and our health insurance doesn't pay for alliteration problems. She has a huge vocabulary, but people have a hard time understanding what she is saying because she drops letters and does things like bite her lip. It is very frustrating but aside from paying for speech therapy out of pocket there is nothing I can do about it besides work with her at home. Are you involved with Parents as Teachers at all? They are a really good resource for finding out information about your school district policies. I know in our school district they have a no test policy and go by just the cut off date unless, they start out in another district or a private school, then they can test in. So you might ask about that. I know that I have cousins that are both teachers and they have 5 kids and they kept every single one home until they were 6 and then sent them to Kindergarten, they claim that it helps the child be more socially ready, and able to deal with being away from their parents, because they can understand better. I don't know, all I know is she is smart but needs help with her speech and can't get it and I don't think that is right.

My son is going to be in the same situation from what I am told he is a sept baby. I try to teach him as much as I can I even started selling educational toys so I knew what was best for him. www.DiscoveryToysLink.com/LisaRyan I hope this helps.
You should be very proud of your son, I hope my son is as smart as your son when he is 3. Good Luck!
LisaM

Tara-
I have a daughter who missed the cut off date (for kindergarten) and just went to preschool for two years. (and loved it). I also had two younger brothers who were totally differnt. One just wanted to "hang out with mom" and went to kindergarten late - the other really wanted to learn, so my mom sent him to a private kindergarten that would allow him. (this could get pricey). Since it's only preschool they may allow your son in early. If so, see how he does. There is alot more they learn there socially - and he may be happy just going and playing with the other children and doing the projects. Good Luck.

I know you already got all the answers you needed. But I wanted to thank you for asking this question! Our 2 1/2 year old daughter is very bright (spoke about 70 words at 18mos, is learning to read the most simple of words right now, working on simple addition as well, knows all shapes, colors, etc). She is EXTREMELY tall for her age, thanks to my family's genes (expected to be over 6' as an adult) too. Being an October birthday she's not exactly in the same situation, but we have been worrying about kindergarten for a while already. How bored will she be? I remember noticing in about junior high that all the earliest "pot heads" were in fact the smartest kids- they were probably just bored out of their minds. If I at 12 could figure this out it had to be pretty darn obvious. From the responses given to your question, I think we'll also follow our district's rules, doing outside enrichment activities both before she starts school and once she is enrolled. So again, thanks for posting the question!

This response is late - but hopefully you'll still get it.
My daughter is a Sept baby as well - and is MUCH smarter then the little kids she will end up with in Kindergarten. She actaully refers to them as "the babies" which I am doing my best to quiet her about. There is NO WAY my district will let her start this year in the fall - I have tried. So now I'm just getting her involved in other things & a 4 day preschool program that will work with her one on one when possible. She will end up being the oldest in her class & probably the smartest - with challenges being something that I will constantly need to focus on. It is something that I am stuck with - but can't fight. (Unless I spend the money to send her to private which is ridiculous expensive). I was an October baby & was the very VERY youngest in my class. I was also the brightest - so little and in honors classes. I always felt like everyone towered me - last to be picked in most sports etc. So I guess each way would have its pros & cons. Just stay involved & make sure that the challenges are there, boredom doesn't set in, and utlilize the library, workbooks, etc. as much as possible. Our kids will be bigger, but in the honors classes... so at least they'll fit in a bit better.

My oldest daughter missed the date by 3 days. My daughter was the same as your son. Where we live, they test the kids in kindergarten. She had already gone through pre-school by that point. (I had asked about testing then, and they said to wait until the next year.) She had been ahead of the kids in pre-school. When she was tested in kindergarten, she was in her "silly" phase, so she answered some of the questions wrong, trying to be funny. The teachers knew this, and said it showed that she wasn't at the emotional level she needed to be at to get bumped up to first grade. Now, she's in fifth grade, and looking back, I'm glad she wasn't put ahead because she would have missed things and would now be with kids who are more physically mature than her.

Hi Tara,

My daughter also misses the cut off for her school by 3 days. They do not test to grant early acceptance. I was a little bummed at first because she too has been reading since she was about 3 or 4. However, I couldn't be happier that she went to Preschool again this year. She has matured so much and things are really going great for her with school.

I think social skills is equally as important as academics and the extra time has been wonderful.

Good luck with your decision. I agonized over it myself a year ago.

Dear Tara,

I see you have many responses - all you probably need is one more . . . ! Here are my two cents anyway (= ! I had a little girl (now 15) who was very bright. I was considering skipping kindergarten (it is not required) and enrolling her straight into first grade. One of the comments I got (from a mother/teacher) was that it wouldn't make a big difference at that level, but did I really want my daughter to be emotionally younger when she got to junior high and high school when the girls are starting to be interested in boys, etc . . . She is now a freshman in high school, and I'm glad she's not a year younger than all her friends!

Good luck!
B.

Hi, I am glad you have found a resolution to your question :) Just wanted to say that you should never apologize for being so proud of your child/children. After all you are their mother and you should be the proudest! Anyhow, I also wanted to say I am glad that you decided to keep him in his "class". Like you said there will be gifted classes and other ways you can challenge him academically at all times when he is ready. However, have you thought about just letting him play? Too often we push our kids to to learn and study... but they will be doing that for the rest of their lives. They are still so young and they are only kids once. I believe that play is just as important as the academic studies. Children learn so much from playing espeically non structred play. That is when they develop their imagination and learn to think for themselves and on their own. I have seen too many times where parents push their kids from one class to the next and sign them up from one activity to the next. These kids have been told what to do all their lives and never had to think for themselves. I see them as adults now and even at this stage they are waiting for someone to tell them what to do cause they can't think for themselves. All I am suggesting is make sure you leave enough unstructured play time for your sun to develop his own thinking and espcially his imagination. Imagination is really important. My daughter is really young herself, but she is starting to recognize letters and she can say the letters of her name. But I personally will look for a preschool that will focus on developing her imagination and allowing her to play unstructurually. She is already growing way too fast for me... don't want to make it go by any faster :) Anyhow hope all the best to your family! And never be ashamed for being proud of your kids achievements!!

You may be able to put him in a private kindergarten and then after his kindy year, transfer him to the public school's first grade. On the other side of the spectrum, I have never seen any boy that had a late birthday, such as your son, suffer socially from being the eldest in his class ...

Your other option would be to supplement his learning by giving him workbooks, etc. that he can do at home.

We are a homeschooling family and one of the reasons we homeschool is because our two boys are pretty intelligent and I didn't want them getting caught up in the "no child left behind" stuff ... my eldest son currently schools two public school grades above his peers and my youngest schools 4 grades above his!

Just some things to think about ...

Be well,
M. from Cherry Hill

Hi Tara,
I have three kids and had this issue with two of them. My daughter missed it by just a few days. Our school district does not even like to accept kids with fummer birthdays into kindergarden. As a result, the classes tend to be older. They do test for kindergarten readiness, but even if your child passes the test, they will still advise you to keep them out until the next year. My youngest, has a June birthday. Even though he could have gone, as he didn't miss the cuttoff, I did not send him. He would have been 17 when he graduated where everyone else would have been 18 and many almost 19. It may not seem like it when they are little, but when they get into middle school and start going through puberty, you can tell who the younger kids are and there is a big difference in maturity levels, especially with the boys. I am very glad I kept both of mine back. They are both very well adjusted and comfortable in school and in the top of their class. A word of warning though - if you send your child to preschool and then hold them out a year for kindergarten, it may cause some distress for your child. I did that and he didn't understand why his friends were going on and he wasn't. He is in second grade now and has made new friends, so it isn't lasting. Good luck.

Dear Tamara,
My oldest daughter was mature for her age mostly because I was a single mom until she was five and I spent lots of one on one time with her teaching her and talking to her. She did everything ahead of the curve also, and because I insisted that she be moved ahead, she was. Unfortunately this did have some not so great consequences to her self confidence. She was the youngest in her class and didn't always have the skills to deal with kids that were clickish or mean (especially in middle school). In the end she turned out great anyway -- not because of, but in spite of me (and my many mistakes). I guess my advice to you is to let your kid be (treated) like other kids. Childhood is precious and you can't get it back. I see too many parents pushing their kids today to be special and to excel, over scheduling them into activities so that they have no space just to be... to pretend and build their imagination and to follow their own bliss. Let your kid be an ordinary kid, as ordinary as possible. He will be happier, and so will you (especially into adolescence)
N

It seems that no one ever stops to think that by holding their kids back, it just pushes the ages of the "youngest" in the class back too. I had 2 kids with summer birthdays, so there was never a deadline question. But even my July daughter was usually the youngest in her class because all the August babies were held back for the age advantage. My son, who was born in August, was always the youngest. I sometimes wonder whether I should have held him back for the social aspect. He is 22 now and a college grad at 21. He has always been smallish (5'7" and slender) and not athletically inclined, but very bright. When he was a senior in HS he read a book called "Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to Quit School and Get a Real Life and Education". He really identified with the ideas in that book and asked me why I hadn't home-schooled him since school was such a waste of time. Yes, he was in all the advanced classes and was bored with school. Although I wonder if he might have been less bored if he hadn't been the youngest and had more friends. My daughter is another story. Her first grade teacher actually recommended that she repeat that year, not so much because she was behind, but because the 3 other first grade girls in her class were at a higher level than she was. I was angry and refused to hold her back for the teacher’s convenience. This was at a public Montessori school and the Montessori philosophy is that each child be taught at her own level. The other girls had fall birthdays and were 9 or 10 months older, but why should I hold my child back because of that? She graduated HS at 17 with 3 AP classes under her belt and is doing fine in college. I think the best solution would be to break the year into 2 blocks and have the January – June kids start school in August and have the July – December kids start school in January. Then there wouldn’t be such a wide range of ages in one class. I doubt that will ever happen.

It depends on your district as far as early acceptance testing goes. There are some other things to consider. He may seem right on target now, but how about in middle school when all the other boys hit puberty and he is the last. There is also a mental maturity scale. My brother was one of the youngest children in his class, and when he went away to college just after turning 18, he was a little too immature. He actually failed the first year of college and had to go to a community college to catch up. He wound up taking him 8 years after he graduated from high school until he graduated from college. I hope you make the right decision for you.

Just wanted to say thanks a bunch for asking for input and a thank you to every one who left such great responses. We have talked about trying to start our kids early (public schools don't get funding for kids who are too young, but private or Charter schools could be a possibility). My husband started school early and skipped a grade on top of it. My mother-in-law cautioned us and said she really had regrets about putting him in school so young.
I think we too will follow age guidelines and encourage lots of extra curriculars and encourage them to dual enroll in college courses when it's appropriate. Good luck to you and your family and thanks again for introducing such a great discussion topic.

Hi Tara - I realize you've had a tremendous response to your questions and I wasnt able to read them all - I hope this helps you -

If you feel like your son is academically and socially ready for kindergarten right at 5, I say go for it. If they don't let him in, then you might see if there is an appeal process with the district - there usually is. You might also consider giving the principal a call to answer your questions about how they challenge smarter than average kids and to see if he might be eligible for early entry testing.

My son started his first day in kinder. barely a month after he turned 5 and he is doing great. He is very smart too and has already met the goals of the curriculum less than 2/3 of the way into the year. There are 5s and 6s in his class and they get along fine. Most schools now have a curriculum that will allow for faster and slower learning kids.

I talked with a mom whose daughter had to wait because of the birthday cutoff and she enrolled her daughter directly into the first grade. There is a testing requirement for this of course. She had already been through a pre-K/Jr. kinder program so it was kind of pointless for her to basically repeat that curriculum. (BTW - Kindergarten is not required in Colorado)

My nephew on the other hand, met the age cutoff by a week but was definitely not ready for kindergarten until 6. He benefitted greatly from waiting a year and I believe he is more confident because of it.

Best of all things to you and your son!

Schools tend to be extremely strict but need to check with district. Even 1 day they have said no.

There is also the past few years, many kids waiting an additional year before starting Kindergarten, especially boys. He probably won't even be the oldest in the class. So stop worrying and just follow the guidelines.

Also its not about what they know, its more their emotional ability and dealing with other kids for a long period of time.

Also might want to check if K is 1/2 or full day.

I had a similar problem. We were ready to put my son in school around the age of four but wanted him to get the education that he needed. I was afraid that if I put him in a public school once he got into kindergarten that he would be bored b/c he already knew all the things they were learning. Then I found a Montessori school and even though he stayed in preschool until he was age appropriate they learn at their own level so he could go ahead of the children in the class in many areas. It has been a wonderful experience for us. I really encourage you to look into it. My son has stayed in the school and is now working on division in the second grade. It's amazing to me. The children learn how to be independent thinkers and they learn about community involvement. It's a wonderful education. www.chbcmontessori.com

As far as the cutoff date, I called the school district and they told me in PA there is no getting around it but you can try anyway...it can't hurt. They told me they wouldn't even test my child until he was in first or second grade. I thought that my son would be wasting a year in kindergarten at that point...he would be given busy work if he got done his work ahead of the class so he wouldn't be disruptive b/c of boredom. I didn't want my son to be a nuisance or be kept busy, that is not the point of school. He had been doing kindergarten workbooks at home at the age of 4 so I knew by the time he went to kindergarten he would be just bored stiff. So, we looked into alternatives. I thought about homeschooling for the first year but there was a cutoff date for first grade too. I hope you find answers.

I agree with what some of the other mums have said about thinking about his future age and how that corresponods with his grade. Look into how early they start gifted programs at your school. He may be able to get into a gifted program around 3rd grade instead of starting him early. In kindergarten hes not going to care if hes ahead of the other kids, hes just going to have fun.
I have a son who is ahead and a son who is slightly behind now catching up. My oldest son has been ahead intellectually and socially. Physically and emotionally though he is behind. There is so much more to school than just academics and he can benefit greatly from that process of maturing in other areas.
Also 1st grade and 2nd grade are so much more advanced than they used to be. He may break out even intellectually in the end. If it was me I owuldn't push to start early as you have to look at the whole child not just the intellectual side. Good luck with your choice!

In my opinion you should not fight the cut off date to get your son in school earlier. I know it seems it would be best for him right now, but when he gets into middle and high school, you will be glad for the cut off date. If he is into sports, he will have another year to be more coordinated. If he isn't, he will still be another year more mature. A year makes a big difference. You won't regret it.

I have a son who is a sophmore in high school. I never doubted my decision to put him in school when he was 5 (June bday) until he got older. Now it is too late to go back.

The district knows what it is talking about. Leave it alone. It does not matter what he can do now as much as where he will be much later. Maturity will count when he is in middle school and high school. My children are older. We kept both of our boys back and they had similar situations. We must have said a dozen times how thankful we were that we made that decision to give them the extra year despite their academic talents at age 4, because at age 16 they were knuckleheads! Think of it this way. He will leave for college a year later!

I know I'm behind on the responses Tara, but did you ask him if he wants to go to school? I would begin there. Then I would take one day at a time if he does go to school early and see how it is affecting him emotionally. I may have a different point of view at 50 then younger moms and dads, but I say listen to your son, be aware of any changes in him that you would consider negative and really listen to your gut. Not that he consciously knows what is best for himself at this age, but I think he can lead the way at least in some respects. 3 1/2? !! They're just babies ! :-) My opinion only. The best to you. E.

Ok, you can ask you district if they have testing for kindergarten but just because your son is advanced intellectually does not mean emotionally he is ready for school. Academics plays very litte in kindergarten readiness. I held my son back who has a June 30th birthday ( eligible for kindergarten) and it was a choice I do not regret. He is not in 1st grade and he is socially and emotionally well ahead of most of his peers and it is very obvious in his class who the young 1st graders are.

My birthday is September 2, so I was just ONE day late to start kinder when I first started school. But because I was so small for my age I fit right in up until middle school, then I really noticed everyone was less mature then I was. But it was never really a problem. Through high school many of my friends were in upper grades.

My daughter has an August birthday and I started her to school at 5, but she needed to spend an extra year in kinder due to lack of maturity. Even though she was a G/T student and could read on a 2nd grade level it was what was right for her. And it was the best thing I could have done for her!

Your son will do fine, because you care enough to find what is best for him, he will adjust and blossom!

Hi Tara!
My 2 daughters are both Sept. babies.My six year old started kindergarten this fall and was completely in awe.She would cry everyday and I even got called a few times because she was so miserable.This was a heartbreaking experience for all of us and came to quite a shock for she also seemed more than
ready and is extremely bright.My advice to you is to keep him with you and not to rush because kindergarten is very socially challenging and you want this to be a positive experience.Good luck!

Obviously, you have plenty of responses, but I wanted to throw this out there. I didn't read all the responses, so someone said similar things, I apologize for wasting your time.

First of all, my sister is a September baby, but she made the cut-off date where we lived for kindergarten (we lived in MI back then, and the cut-off was later). When we moved to OH, she was the youngest in her class all the way through high school. However, she excelled in school and ended up using Ohio's Op-ed program to go to college a year early.

Second, my own son is a September baby as well. The cut-off in our district is September 30th, so he made the deadline, although it doesn't matter too much since we homeschool. However, if we had waited a year for kindergarten, he would have been bored out of his mind. He started asking to learn to read when he turned 4. He is now excelling in all subjects, especially reading and language arts. Maturity-wise, he does fine with the other first grade boys at church and in our homeschooling co-op, but he does fine with kindergarten boys as well.

A third note, I actually taught music in public school for a couple of years in upstate NY. The cut-off for kindergarten there is November 30th. I can tell you that it was obvious to me which kids had Oct/Nov birthdays when they came into music class. Music was always in the afternoon for the younger grades so that they were fresher for their academics in the morning. By the time I got them, some of them wanted to lay on the floor and sleep, or they wanted to run around the room and not pay attention.

I guess my best advice for you is that you know your kid best no matter what anyone else tells you. I don't think I would make a decision until he is closer to that age, though I would have an idea of which way you think you're going to go. Watch his maturity level when he plays with other kids his age and assess that. Being bright in a classroom of kids that are far more mature than him might make him feel out of place, but, then, being the oldest and more mature could cause the same feelings. I, for one, try to hold on to their childhood as much as possible. Kids grow up too fast these days, and, while I want to meet their needs, I want them to be able to hold on to childhood as long as possible.

Congrats! Your child is gifted and your concerns for nurturing that gift are valid. I am an arts teacher (or was before I had my son) and believe in the great advantages of music. I was thrilled to see you are interested in the field for your son. There are many programs I would love to enlighten you with that are for his biological age and some that can meet his mental capacity. Many of my students excelled in school and enjoyed the challenges of music outside of school. To this day I have students attending Julliard School of Music...a few transeferd in the gifted program. I realize that music is not always taken so seriously but the benefits for your child will be amazing even as an elective in life. Good luck and my pages are open if you have any questions.

Our son is also 3 1/2 and will miss the cutoff date by 10 days. We feel he will be ready to start however the school has the cutoff date. We are trying to to plan ahead but feel it better to wait until closer to the time. He is well above average with intelligence, however we want to be sure he is ready socially also because we feel that is important also. The other option is starting them in private school and then changing over to public when the time permits.

I am curious to see if anyone else has any advise/suggestions. Good luck with everything, hope you make out well.

Before I would fight the cut off date with the school district I would talk to your preschool provider and make sure that they feel that your son is mature enough for Kindergarten. My son misses the cut off date by two weeks and is very tall for his age. He is almost a full head size bigger than all of his preschool classmates. I thought about fighting to get him into kindergarten, but after speaking with my son's preschool teacher, I felt it was better to keep him in preschool another year. My son also knows all of the things he needs for kindergarten, but the teacher explained that boys tend to mature emotionally a little slower than girls and that another year in preschool would help with that.

One of my sons misses the cut off date by 15 hours the other by 5 days. I would seriously consider whether you truely want to pull them forward a year though, even if they are really academically bright. A year at these young ages is very big developmentally, and while for you as a parent it is so tempting to push your child forward, it may not put your child in the best place in the future. For example; if they are good at sports they will be competing with kids who are physically a year older and bigger for places on teams, where as they would be the oldest in their year. I have spoken to so many adults who were pushed forward a year because their birth dates were near the cut off and every one of them regretted their parents decision. They were the last to learn to drive, and struggled against much older peers. Just some food for thought.. you are the one who knows your child the best.

Call the school and ask them if they have testing. My friend had a similiar situation with her son except it was for first grade(the daycare he went to taught kindergarten). She had her son tested and he passed it with flying colors and was accepted into the first grade at that school. He did very well academically.

Hi Tara!! My little brother was affected by the September cut off date. My Mom managed to get him into school before he was 5 and as he got older it became clear to her that she had made a mistake. Sure, academicly he was more than ready, he was and still is incredibly smart, but socially he was always behind. He was always the smallest and youngest in his class and he had a horriable time in school for many years. She has always said that had she the chance to do it all over again she would have kept him home that extra year.

It's great that your child is so gifted. There are programs in every school district that will challange him. Our school district has a gifted program that accelerates a child's education without removing the child from their peers, which I think is great. Don't be in a hurry to push your son or make him grow up any faster than he will all on his own. They are young for such a short time! Remember school is more than just the academics and it is just as important that your child FEEL secure & comfortable in the educational setting. You don't want to put him in a position of being harassed or teased if you can prevent it in any way. Good luck with this one, it is a tough situation to navigate.

Good luck but unfortunately, very few schools, even thr private ones will make exceptions. I tried. Both of my kids as well as myself have December B-days. We all are on the intelligent side and my son went to a Montasouri school at age 2 1/2 and was admitted into their 3-5 year old program. When I was in the position, 40+ years ago, the cutoff date was Dec. 31 so I got into school early and did great. My son had to do kindergarden at the Montasouri school and then again in Catholic school. I tried everywhere and had him tested. I had notes from his peditrician and old school teacher and nothing helped. My daughter started a preschool program in Abington and she just turned 2 but they won't allow her to go into the 3 year old program in Sept. I tried other schools and am in the same boat. For just turining 2 she knows more than most 3 year olds. If you find a place, let me know.

I know you have made your decision and go for it. Just wanted to add an experience with my younger brother.
I lacked from Dec 16 to Dec28 being 7yrs older.

By age 5 I knew I liked teaching. ATe age 10 and brother 3 I taught him the basic letters numbers, counting by ones, fives and tens. By 41/2 he was doing the I can read stories by himself.

that yr the age for ientering Kindergarten was changed from Dec 16 back to Sept 30th. My brother at that time was doing first grade level entry work. He was refused the option for a test. That yr at home he learned his addition and subtraction factions and advanted his reading skills with comprehension to second grade level.

Now he entered K with this advancment. He was extremely bored tracing numbers, and letters I forgot that he could also print quite correctly.

there was a small problem. We were blessed to have an elderly K teacher who was very wise. A young one would have labeled him behaviour problem.

When given letters to trace, he turned the pages over and wrtote all the words he could think of that began or had those letters in them, on the number tracing pages he turned over and wrote either addition facts or subtraction facts, At story time he refused to go to the rug because he could read the stories himself.

This wise older teacher ended up having Charles read to his classmates.

That winter Charles wanted to learn more in math. So by First grade he was carrying forward and borrowing and had started to learn his multiplication tables.

Keep your child learning as he is ready, had him attend somewhere to aquire social skills, and you might consider having him tested before next yr to see where he would learning wise fit better in. M. W

I would wait, He is bright but he is young,It is difficult being the youngest child in the class.
I had this situation with my son.and decided to wait. He was a better student because of it.
He was ready to listen and reason and was in class with children his own age.
One year make a big differnce at this age.Maturity,attention span etc...

I volunteer in my daughter's kindergarten one day a week (4 hours) so I see a wide variety of kids. I see the boy with a birthday well before Sept, who is very thoughtful, probably gifted, and does precise work at his pace. It doesn't seem to bother him now he is a loner. One of the most petite girls in the class is Asian, and has an Oct 21st bday. But she is hypercritical of other kid's work and best friends with the oldest kid in the class (Nov bday) who is on a 2nd try of kindergarten. You would never guess she is the youngest by far. She knows her 25 sight words and made the writing class.
I did some preschool, and some home school with my daughter. We also do things like Suzuki guitar with her, and she loves her martial arts class. When she was 3.5 the preschool wanted to put her in Jr.K, but the long day and the cost worried me. They thought she was more than ready. I wanted her to still have play time, despite how much she loved her worksheets. At the end of preschool they warned me my daughter would be bored in public school. My mom brushed it off as a sale's pitch for their private school.

My daughter's bday is one of the last days of Sept, and at first her teacher (I feel) mentally lumped her in with "the other 4s". As the year progressed she has resorted the tables, but my daughter just found this too much fun. We really had to stay on her to WORK FIRST, talk second, as she wasn't bothering with her boring paperwork. (Some of it she had been doing since 3). Review of the alphabet? boring!!!

The progress reports require that the teacher sit down and TEST the kids, not just observe their paperwork. SURPRISE! My daughter is a reader, and well ahead of grade level in all subjects. (The teacher figured out how much we home school) If she is ahead now, just imagine what my end-of-Sept kid would have done if I held her back a year?

I have seen the April girl wrestle the New Years girl down, and make her cry. Then she went after the June girl and got her to cry. (I joke thanks to martial arts; she wouldn't like what would happen if she went after my daughter.)

My point with all of these stories is that each kid is different, and I don't see the petite spring boys being held back academically. You know your child. Perhaps sign him up for martial arts, so his PowerRanger skills look good at recess? (although it seems StarWars is gaining in popularity these days)
If you do hold him back a year, I have heard rumor you need to monitor gifted kids in HS. Some people think they have a higher drop out rate, and need to be monitored to yank them out, GED and send them to community college. (That could all change in 10 years!)

I was a HS teacher for years before becoming a SAHM. What I learned about the system is that any parent who fights long enough gets what they want. My school was a big push over. Parents got whatever they wanted. If you really want to do this...start with the school. First see if they have a test. If not, ask if they will meet with your child & make an exception for him. Talk to the principal. Explain your position to the principal & ask for the exception. If the principal say no, go to the Superintendent. (Make sure you call ahead & make an appt.). If that doesn't work, go to the Board of Education. (Again, call ahead & get put on the agenda). Go again if necessary. (Go to every board meeting until they agree to administer a test). Boards of Ed are best won over by large groups of people (they want to get reelected). So if you can find a lot of parents who want a test for kindergarten, they are more likely to agree to it. Especially if its near election time.
As for other comments suggesting your son is not ready...I was born in NY where the cut off was the end of Oct. My bday is near the end of Oct. When we moved to NJ (cut off in Sept) I was already in the 3rd grade. I stayed in the 3rd grade & graduated HS in the top 10 of my class. I also had a friend whose bday was in Feb. She took a test which got her into Kindergarten early. (6 months early) She graduated higher in the top ten than I did. She is now a successful lawyer. We were both tall for our age & no one knew we were young for our age unless we told them. Cut off dates should only be a guide. An average that most kids fall into. There will always be exceptions, both above & below the curve. When speaking to officials consider using the argument that parents can hold their children back (from kindergarten) when necessary with out a problem. You should at least be allowed to have your child tested to see if he belongs in Kindergarten. If they don't already have a test, you might want to suggest allowing your child to spend a day in a kindergarten class & allow the teacher to make a recommendation based on that day. (If you think your child could handle being thrown in there for a day.)

I didn't read all of your responses but the ones I did are great. I am also a teacher and in my district preschool is for the lower/slower children or economically deprived children and it's not available at every campus. It sounds like you are on the right track with your thoughts. Good luck!

Tara,
I know this response is very late, however there is one idea I want to share. My children did start school young, our cutoff date in California is December 2. My daughter's birthdates are November and December. I chose not to hold them back as they were reading, writing and doing math by age 4. One of the things that the teaching staff did for our daughters at school was to have them attend regular kindergarten and then "guest" into first grade for the rest of school day. This allowed them to have a "kindergarten" experience and a challenge in first grade. My youngest daughter is now a first grader and "guests" into third grade for reading and writing. This allows her to be challenged yet remain with age appropriate peers. Y

I am planning to start with PA Cyber school for the K4 program. My son has his birthday on the cut off date and would still have to wait a year. I had to wait a year with one of my daughters, because her birthday was 2 1/2 weeks after the cut off. Now we are having issues with the school not giving her the opportunities she needs to succeed. I will not make the mistake with my son that I made with my daughter by just listening to the school and not checking into other options. The schools have gifted programs, but they only meet for 1 hour a week(at least in my district) and I do not see that it is enough. Kids get bored when they are nto being challenged when they want to be. Good luck!!

Tara - admittedly, I haven't read all of your responses, but will give you some insight from my experience and hopefully it will help.....

First, my son is 9 and in the GT program at school.....his birthday is September 2nd....one day past the cut off. I did research the laws in the state of Texas on getting him into Kindergarten early and found that schools CAN let him in early, they just don't get funded for him. I also found that if you put him in Kindergarten at a private school, he can test out of Kindergarten and go to first grade. You have to be 5 to go to Kindergarten, but you don't have to be 6 to go to first grade. Now, since I was told "No" by my district, but my son's kind and loving sister taught him to read at age 4, I felt between a rock and a hard place just as you....so, I tried to put him into a pre-k program at a private school, but they were full.....when I told them that he could already read, they tested him and advised me, "Well, it will probably take about 6 weeks or so, but the rest of the Kindergarten class would eventually catch up." Imagine my beaming!!!! So, I sat him down and told him that I was going to put him in Kindergarten and he would have to do Kindergarten again next school year at our local school. I learned over the course of that year that I was very glad he had not been allowed to start "early" because I realized his maturity was just not there....he was advanced intellectually, but behind socially.

Now, here's my other story.....my step-son will be 8 on May 11th and is in 2nd grade (so he is a young 2nd grader).....all along throughout his schooling, his parents have been told he is not ready for the next level. His dad spent $4500 on Sylvan last summer to keep him from being held back, only to now be struggling even more in 2nd grade....my husband and his ex-wife are now finally coming to the conclusion that he will stay behind in 2nd grade....not because he is unintelligent, but because boys tend to mature slower....by maturing, I mean in all aspects, their understanding, their ability and/or desire to focus, etc. My husband now realizes that he probably should have started school a year later or been allowed to stay behind in Kindergarten.....but, with third grade comes the TAKS and then he would have a much bigger problem.....better to be "held back" than to be told "you failed."

I hope my experience helps you......Just remember, we as mom's want so much for them to "take that next step" but sometimes, it's ok to have patience. =)

Have a wonderful day!

Oh - and by the way - my doctor put it into a different perspective for me (which was much more comical, to me anyway): Her son is in the same position and she said, "Well, look at it this way, do you want your son to be the last one in the locker room with hairy legs and arm pits, or the first one?" I laughed and told her she has a point!

I have a daughter with an October birthdate and agonized over the fact that she could not go to Kindergarten this past September. She's bright and was definitely ready, but, having no recourse, I found a "transition" program in our community that caters to kids in that post-cut-off birthday period and does a good job of stimulating the kids. Since then, I've heard enough stories from parents who did send their kids to Kindergarten "early" when the cut-off in PA was sometime in the winter some years back. Many of them said they would've held them back, their kids turned out to be less mature than their peers, their social skills weaker, etc. Your son, however, sounds phenomenally bright and likely to get bored if he's kept too long in pre-school. There are, btw, some pre-schools that don't adhere to Sept. 1st and some private Kindergartens that don't, either. I'd look, though, at your son's social skills and make sure they're very strong and consider the fact that the trend these days is to hold boys back even when they turn 5 in the summer -- so that they'll have an edge over the others in later years, esp. in sports, I hear.

Your son is gifted! Congratulations!!!
And I know because my daughter is too.
My daughter was also reading before going to school.
My daughter now is in 2nd grade and she is in the GT (gifted and talented) program... She is reading and comprehending at least on a 4th or 5th grade level and she has also been attending 3rd grade math and right before TAKS tests, they had a TAKS pretest. My daughter scored a 98 on the 3rd grade TAKS math test. My husband talked to the principal again and even the principal was surprised. (The principal has a gifted child of his own at the school.) My husband discussed with him about possibly having our daughter skip 3rd grade and move on to 4th. The principal stated that it is not usual practice but in certain circumstances, things can be worked out and of course, she would have to take all kinds of tests to essentially "clep out" of 3rd grade.
This is where we're at now.
So, basically what I'm saying is....
You may want to go ahead and have your son go about school "normally" and then when you feel he is socially ready, arrangements can be made for him to skip grades.

By the way, I'd also like to say that I was usually the youngest in my class growing up since my bday is in October.
I started my senior year of high school at 16 yrs of age.
I was not traumatized or upset at all. In fact, I found it quite entertaining to watch "the older kids".

The most important thing as a parent is to make sure you instill confidance, self-esteem and self-worth in your child and I guarantee you, your child will take your lead.

Again, congratulations and best wishes!

Hi Tara -- I would let him wait. He may have hit all his milestones, but maturity wise it will help him out in the long run. I have a 9 year old son who has a July birthday and I held him back and sent him to kindergarte when he was 6 and boy what a difference. He has the confidence and maturity to get the work done and has not had any problems with schoolwork or his teachers. The teachers love him. When he has friends that come over that are a year younger, I see such a difference. I also have a friend that pushed her son through, he has a Sept. 1st birthday and the cutoff where she lived was Aug. 31., he's now 18 and very smart but during his middle school years he was always getting in trouble and wished she had just waited and given him that extra year to mature. Good luck and I hope this helps.

You if you really beleiev your son is ready for kindergarden, and from what you said he does sound ready, then you will have to fight for them to test him. I had the oppisite problems with my dd. her b-day is 8-31. and they would not hold her back in kindergaden even though I knew she was not ready for 1st grade. I fought every teacher and princapal every year untill finally we put her in a private friends school with 10 studnets per class and they held her back when she entered the school in 6th grade. she has been there 3 yrs and does wonderful now and is NOW ready for HS in sept. What I am trying to say is... you know your child. You MUST fight for what you beleiev is right for your child because no one else will. good luck.
Jenn

I'm thinking your child is above average. I have 4 kids, and none of them knew all that at that age. They do very well in school now. If you could have him tested, he could probably move ahead a grade, if not now, then maybe once he hits 1st grade.

Tell him I'm very proud of him, lol.

By the way, two of my 4 kids are passed the deadline, so they are the oldest in their class, bdays are in Oct and Dec.

try a private kindergarder ie: chesterbrook

Tara,

We had that problem also. My son is a 9-11 birthday. I got very lucky, turns out my school district uses a 9-1 date. Different area schools use different dates. If we hadn't started Ant when we did he would have had problems. He's very bright, and they have been testing him for the gifted program, if we hadn't started him he would have been so bored, he would have gotten in a lot of trouble. He's in fifth grade now and doing great.

Call some of the schools in your area, see if any use the earlier date, or would be willing to test your child to start early.

I have 2 kids that were close to the cut off date. My daughter was 2 days past and my son was on the cut off date. For both we decided to wait a year to put them in school. They were both very bright and big for their age. My daughter is now a sophmore at Cherry Creek High School and is in all advanced classes and thriving. Most of her friends are around her age and she still can do sports with kids her age. The sports cut offs are usually the same as school so he would be playing with kids a grade younger than him. My son was born on the cut off date and I find that most of the boys are on the older side in his classes. I am a mother of 5 with 2 boys and 3 girls ranging from 9-18. I am so glad I waited a year for my 2 borderline kids. I have a daughter with a late May birthday in 8th grade. She is pretty much the youngest in her class and she has struggled a little. You not only have to worry about school work, but also peer pressure too and when they are young it is harder to be strong in that respect. Hope this helps

Tara I know my response is somewhat late however, have you considered home schooling your son. I started home schooling my daughter at age 4 because she was ready for school but was not allowed to enroll because she had to be spanish speeking. We couldn't afford a private school so we decided on home schooling. We started in Aug. and by Dec. she was reading. Curriculum I used was a christian based one "A Beka"
easily found online.

I know you've gotten lots of answers... We have two boys with early September b-days (currently 5 and 2), and everyone told me the same thing (hold him back). But I knew he was socially ready to go, which is what matters. My hubby and I both have August b-days, and were always at the top of our classes even though we were the youngest. My son was also quite bored at home with me, and loves interacting with other children, and follows direction well (from anyone but me that is - which works great for school). His teacher says he is a role model for the other students. It is half-day kindergarten, though, which I think is great for the transition. I would have been devastated if I had been held back as a child, and I am so glad I listened to my own intuition and motherly instincts to recognize that my son was very much ready to go. I went to a very small school and there was another boy in the class behind us with a December birthday. He was skipped up to my class (so he was actually the very youngest) because he was smart (but not gifted), mature, and bigger. If you think he is ready, and are able to get him in, do it. There's not point in stunting hiim or holding him back; I'm so glad I did what I thought was best for my son. I'm leaning the same direction with my younger son as well, though he has 2.5 years before he would start, because he is also social and loves to "go" and be with other kids and adults, and do things.

Tara,

I have not read all of your responses but let me tell you a first-hand story. When I started kindergarten the cut off date was Nov. 1. I was born Oct. 31. I was always the youngest kid in my classes. I was always the last to reach any milestone which was age related. In high school I was the last kid to get my drivers license. Many of my classmates were almost a year older than me. When I went to college a girl down the hall in my dorm was 11 days younger than me. What a treat! Don't be too quick in starting your child in school. Intellectually he may appear to be ready but boys tend to mature slower than girls. Maturity has a lot to do with success in school. Put him in a preschool or work with him at home. I hated being the youngest in my class, but now that I'm 55 the reunions should go smoother. I also taught elementary school for 23 years.

Hi Tara,
I am a certified instructor with Music with Mar. and we have fun, interactive music and movement classes throughout the community for ages 0-6. Classes do not teach music, but use music to teach basic developmental skills (social, motor, language). Prices are per family, not per child! For a schedule and for more info, check out www.musicwithmar.com. I teach in Tampa, Oldsmar & Lutz.

W.

Tara,

I had the same issue X 2. My son just missed the cut off and was tested to be above average intelligence. Unfortunatelly, social maturity is much more important and boys are a little slower at this. You can push the school district (depending on applicable district policy) or try private kindergarten, but I would strongly reccommend that you just wait it out. My daughter, on the other hand, was tested as average intelligence, made the cut-off by 2 days so was the youngest in her class. As a girl, she was socially with her older peer group and did fine.

Good luck with a bright boy, is not easy as you would think.

Don't worry about age or size...worry about your son being challenged in school. If you hold him back he'll be bored to tears. Listen to the Preschool teachers recommendations. I had one that missed the 9/1 deadline, was usually the oldest but she excelled in everything she did and it was never a problem. My youngest was 4 when she started K since we lived in MD and their cutoff is Dec (her bd 10-3). She has always been the youngest but also on of the brightest in her classes. Her Preschool teacher said that she was definitely ready and to hold her back would only create problems because she would be so bored. You know your child the best and if he's that bright I wouldn't hold him back.

Art is educating his right brain and kinder does plenty of that. music is both sides of the brain and kinder does plenty of that also. To help your child, relax, you are making yourself crazy Take him places, zoo the beach etc. to give him more life experiences. P.

Dear Tara,

I was one of those babies that missed the cut off date and I was sent early. I reached a lot of milestones early, but then when school started getting into junior and senior high I struggled with not understanding the transitions. My daughter is one of those babies too and we held her back. She is 7 and in first grade. Truly I do understand what you mean. It's hard to let them go or not go when you know what there learning degree is.

My daughter has not suffered because she was held back a year, if anythink she excelled and she is in with kids her age.

Have your son take the test, you would have to call the local school for your areas. See how he places, if he aces the test then you can worry about placing him in school early or not.

It truly doesn't hurt them to be held back. Socially they actually benefit from it.

Good Luck!

A. C.

Thankfully I have not had this problem and wish my 2 year old was as smart as his 5 year old sister and your 3 year old son. That being said, I do know a few parents who had this problem and the school district made them wait it out another year. In the long run it helped their kids out because eventhough they were smart enough, they weren't mature enough. I feel that it is ultimately up to the parent but then again, when do you decide how long after the cut-off is still ok. I would look into your school district and find out if there is a test. If they don't accept your son because of when his birthday is you could opt for a private kindergarten, that way you can show the district that your child should be in kindergarten.

I was born in the Netherlands and moved to the US when I was 12, my sister was 13 at the time and should've finished up 7th grade. Instead, we were given a test to see where we were academically and that showed that I was at the 6th grade level, my sister on the other hand was at an 8th grade level. So she finished 8th grade and then went on to High School the following year. The High School principal was NOT happy about this at all because my sister was a year younger than the rest of her class AND she came from another country. My parents pushed for her to get in and even got the school board involved. After 1 semester my sister proved herself to the principal by getting straight A's in all her classes and did that all 4 years.

You are the only one who can decide what's best for your child. If there is a test your son can take to get him in to school that's great. If not talk to the principal, and if you feel that you are right talk to the school board. Good luck and I hope he makes it into school this coming year.

Tara Hi,

I just got on to this web-site and wanted to give you my personal advise in this matter. I had a niece who was extremely bright like your son but missed her school kindergarten cut off by 1 day. My sister pushed to have her put in that year figuring as we all did she would do well. There must be a reason for the cut off date because she did not do well although she hit all her milestones early and was very bright academically she was immature as compared to the other children in the class. At that age a month makes a big difference in maturity and although we all thought she was very mature it was not enough to compete with the children in the class ultimately she struggled. my sister decided to hold her back the following year to the kindergarten class she would have been in and she did extremely well. It is better to be the smarter child in the class then the struggling child. Their self worth is very important in those fragile years you will thank your self later for it. I have also known mothers who have held their children although ready age wise back a year. A lot of times it was for boys because they have a tendency to be a little bit more immature,
but, I know some mothers who have held their girls back as well and are very happy they did.

I hope this helps you a bit.....

I'd contact your district admin and find out what their policies are. You may also want to call your state Rep (mine is Tom Murt - his staff is awesome when it comes to finding information for you!). Explain the situation, and if they don't offer any suggestions, ask about IEPs. There may be a loophole if your son qualifies for special education services.

On a personal note, there was no cut-off when I started school and I started kindergarten 3.5 months before my 5th birthday. I was an excellent student and did very well emotionally/socially.

I hope you will still get this. I am an elementary teacher and every year when school begins it takes only a few weeks to be able to clearly pick out the youngs ones in the class. I have often had students who are young and gifted in my classes--in fact that is often the case, but they also stick out because they socially are behind. My boys are the ones that I notice have a hard time fitting in with the other boys. The social aspect for a child is just as important as the academic. Allow your child to be a kid for awhile longer. Imaginary play, one on one time with mom, and even naptime are so important to their development. I have a 3 year old boy and of course I want him to well in school, but I am just as concerned that he fits in with the other students and loves school. I would really be careful as to how much of an emphasis you put on academics for your child right now and allow him to be a little boy.

Tara

Here are 2 more cents to consider....

Our son is a November baby and started kindergarten at the age of 4, the cutoff at the time for us was Dec 31st. We agonized over the decision but thought it best for this very bright little boy. He's 11 now and in 6th grade. He has always gravitated towards older kids and is just as mature as any of the boys turning 12 this spring, even more mature than some in fact. For him it was a good thing to start him early. As it turned out our neighborhood elementary school didn't do much of anything for the advanced kids; the school has been too busy with the large number of kids who are behind. Many families have left the neighborhood because their bright kids were getting bored and not challenged. In the 3rd grade our son tested for a 4th-5th grade gt program at another school and was accepted. He had almost straight A's for the 2 years, was with his academic peers and loved the added depth and challenge in his classes. His sister started kindergarten when he entered this program in 4th grade and we had her transfered to the same school (the program is separate but at a regular elementary school). These 2 schools are in the same school district (Montgomery County, Maryland) but they are run so differently. His sister is getting so much more out of her early school years. Anyway, our son is now in the middle school gt program and still pulling all A's. He's doing Algebra 1 (9th grade) and is testing at college level for reading/comprehension. I can't imagine how bored and disengaged he might have become had we waited a year or left him in our awful neighborhood school.

The bottom line is you know him best. It's fine for people to say look at outside resources for extra challenges, but our feeling was that these bright kids have to be at school for 6 hours and they have every right to an engaging education as well. Just because they are ahead that doesn't mean they should be overlooked and allowed to be bored all day. Or teach the other kids. Look at your school very carefully. What are they doing to accommodate accelerated kids? When our son's 2nd grade teacher assigned them to read a Dr. Seuss book of their choice, I asked her if there was anything for his level. The Magic Tree House books were already very easy chapter books for him. She told me that he was the only one reading chapter books and there was nothing she could do to accommodate that. That's when we knew he would be applying to the gt program the next year. The teacher nor the principal cared about the advanced kids.

Ask many questions of many people and trust your guts.

V.

Hello Tara,
Our daughter is gifted and it was a battle to have her tested, plus she was born in October. E-mail me and I can give you some information. What state are you in?
Thanks,
P.

I have a 9 year old daughter and a 6 year old son. Both missed the cut-off dates for school. I knew my son would since his birthday isn't till the end of November. The cut-off date was midnight of September 1st. My daughter's Birthday September 2. She was born at 1:06 in the morning so she missed the cut-off by 1 hour and 7 minutes. I tried arguing with the school about that because she was born in Germany. It didn't work. She is now in 3 grade, but I am actually glad that she didn't get to go to school at 4 because she wasn't ready due to severe speech problems. We have also found out this year that she has learning disabilities as well. Some kids actually mature better if they wait 1 year. You can also find some daycares in your area that run a pre Kindergarten class that you can pay for. Good luck!!!

Every think of cyber school? www.k12.com

My first son missed our cut off date, so had to wait a year. He was a very bright preschooler too. At that time I was a SAHM so we just waited until he was old enough to start kindergarten. He was always one of the older kids and he did very well all through school.
My 3rd son turned 5 on Aug 30, so he was OK for the date legally, but was 4 when school started. During kindergarten round up he scored a perfect score so was not eligible for prekindergarten....I was told to either send him to kindergarten, or keep him in preschool another year...he was already bored with preschool, so we sent him to kind. By 2nd grade he was not keeping up with clas mates, so we held him back and he repeated 2nd grade. This was a GREAT thing for him.
So I guess what I'm saying is hold him out a year and let him be one of the older kids. Does your district have a prekindergarten? That is also a good option.

Dear Tara,
Don't have this problem myself, but having read the other posts here, I'd say that the best advice, in my opinion, (as a SAHM, an educator [b.s. in elementary ed.], and a step-mom who homeschooled an older child) would be to homeschool him if at all possible. In Pennsylvania, the only requirement to homeschool a child is that the supervisor (NOT THE TEACHER) must have a high school diploma or GED. In my case, my husband was a high school drop-out, so I was both teacher AND supervisor to my step-son, whom I homeschooled in high school. Several things about homeschooling...#1~in PA, you are not required to file ANY paperwork with your school district until the school year following your child's 8th birthday! (Compulsory school age in PA is currently 8 yrs to 17 yrs ~ BTW, this means that if he happens to be homeschooled past 17, you simply send a letter to the district [on the birthday] stating that the child is now 17 and you'll no longer be filing paperwork, as per Act 169)! :) #2~You get to choose what curriculum is used, unless you opt to use what is provided by the district (I think they're required to provide the same as what they use in their classrooms to you free of charge). #3~You choose how long your child is in class. (If he learns the day's concept in 15 minutes, there's no need to spend an extra 1/2 hour drilling:).) #4~You can choose whether to count days or hours towards meeting the time requirements. Best of all, any trips to anything educational can count towards school ~ music lessons, sports practices, museum visit, etc. Just a few of the "pros" of homeschooling. For us, the biggest reason was that my stepson had made a series of poor decisions while living with his mother and attending public school. His lack of interest in education (He's been in learning support classes since he entered school) made paying for a private school seem like a huge risk both financially and educationally. Hope my experiences are able to help you. For you, if you homeschool your son for a year or two and document his grades and what grade level of work he's been doing, the birthday issue "might" become a moot point later on. Feel free to e-mail me personally, if you have other questions ~ I'd be happy to answer, if possible. Have a GREAT day! Good luck in making your decision. I'll be praying for you.

Hi TaraS

Don't push this happened to me as a matter of fact. There are other things to consider when a child starts school. Separation from mom, home, learning to get along with others. You won't be sorry to wait. All through school I was amongst the smarter in the class and like it. It wasn't difficult to keep up. And brag away mom....
Joanne B