Sex Hurts

Updated on November 13, 2007
G.H. asks from Logan, UT
15 answers

The first time after I delivered, (6 weeks later) me and my husband tried to have sex but it hurt. I talked to my obgyn and she said to just give it time. Now 6 months later it still hurts. Like other moms it feels like a chore to me, but it hurts so bad. I had a c-section, because the baby could not make it through the birth canal.

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all your help.

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K.A.

answers from Omaha on

I also had an c-section, and I was uncomfortable for quite a while afterwards also--at least 6 months...don't really know why, but it did go away....so, there is an end to it.

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S.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Try buying a lubricant with a "warming" feature. The ingredients that cause the warming increase blood flow and circulation in your nether regions which softens the muscles and will help your body open up a little more. One that is also a massage oil could be great because with a 6 month baby at home you could probably use the relaxation beforehand.

Woman on top positions are also recommended for women who experience pain during intercourse because you can control the depth (if your pain is cervical sensitivity) and speed (if your pain is vaginal tightness) of the activity helping your body to adjust more quickly.

But truthfully the best way to get past the aches and sensitivity of your new body is to use it, and get used to the way it has changed. Excercise (escpecially yoga) is great for helping you get back in touch with your body - even 15 minutes of stretching on the floor before bed each night will help all your joints and ligaments get back into the shape they were in before you became a mommy.

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J.B.

answers from Iowa City on

The best advice that I can give you is to take it slow. Don't rush it, or you will regret it and it may not be appealing to you for a longer period of time. Spend time with your husband/boyfriend I mean serious quality time, get to know each other again one-on-one. It's been a rocky road for the two of you with a little one around. My husband and I have a 4 year old and a 3 month old and it's just now appealing to me to have sex. It took "mommy and daddy" time though. It was like he had to romance me over all over again, if that makes any sense? Just take your time though there isn't a rush for sex it should be a magical thing and if it doesn't feel that way, take your time, it will feel wonderful once again in it's own time!

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A.B.

answers from Fargo on

I had a c-section with my first as well and sex was painful at first-just like having it for the very first time. One thing that helped us was using a lubricant. It will get better over time and just be honest with your husband so he's not thinking that it's something about him! :)

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S.P.

answers from Milwaukee on

I had a c-section with my DD and was surprised to find that sex hurt afterwards too. My Dr. explained a lot of it was due to hormone changes from having the baby...I also nursed, which didn't help. The more you try it, the better it will get though. Don't wait too long in between otherwise it is like starting all over again. I also recommend using KY to help ease the process. If you are nursing, you will see that it will get a lot better once you are done. Good luck...hopefully you'll be back to normal soon :)

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S.P.

answers from Great Falls on

I have the same problem, have actually always had that problem. Have you tried a luburcant? Other than that I don't know how to help you and I sure can't wait to see some of the responses. Maybe they'll give me help,too.

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L.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

I had the same problem, mostly because of an episiotomy that wouldn't heal, and a traumatic birth experience. Not sure why you would be having pain from a C-section, but my Ob-Gyn gave me some samples of Astro-Glide, a lubricant, to use and it works wonders! I would encourage you to try it as well!

Good luck!

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B.M.

answers from Madison on

It was six months before I could even think about having intercourse as I had third degree tearing when I delivered my daughter. While I healed just fine, thought of having sex made me want to cry.

I spoke with my Ob/Gyn at my six week check-up following delivery and she shared with me that women who breastfeed are often less naturally lubricated so it is very important to use a lot of lubrication to help ease discomfort and pain. I'm not sure if you are breastfeeding but that could be playing a role in things. Take things slowly and let your husband know that it may be difficult for you at first but he shouldn't take it personally. Hopefully he will be understanding and patient!

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W.D.

answers from Lincoln on

I had a c-section too and sex hurt for me for at least 6 months. We also had to start using the KY for extra lube. YOu have to remember that when we have c-sections they cut through many layers of stuff, including muscle. They also have to move our organs around in that area to get the baby out. THings are tender and it takes time for stuff inside to settle down. Just take it slow and things will eventually get better.

W.
www.ubah.com/P2249

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R.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

I had a vaginal birth with my twins. I had painful sex for almost 2 years. My MD even did an ultrasound on my abdomen because he thought maybe there was a cyst, but nothing showed up. Over time it seemed to get better. After I gave birth to my daughter I did not have the same pain. I am not sure if things shifted differently with my first birth or what. Sex is great now.
My husband and I did try different positions. That helped a little with the pain.

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J.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

hurts how?? i remember it took about a year before it didn't hurt anymore after i had my daughter! if you just remember that it IS normal (and everyone is different), and try to think about what you're doing and why, it'll get better!! it will always be worse if you just do it and you're not ready, and then you'll be irritated with it too. oh, and um, KY is your friend:) don't worry....:):)

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W.K.

answers from Green Bay on

The same thing happened to me. And since I had a C section, I did not expect to have that problem. Mine resolved itself after about 9 months, which happens to be when I stopped nursing and went back on the pill. So I don't know if it was hormonal and the pill helped or if it just took 9 months to go away. But hang in there and do consult your doctor again if it doesn't seem to resolve itself.

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S.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I had a C-Section as well, and the same exact thing happened to me. I couldn't take it anymore, so the OB examined me and said that I was very thin down there due to low Estrogen from breastfeeding. She gave me a Topical Estrogen Cream (if you are nursing, no effect on breastmilk) and it worked wonders. I had to put it on every night for a week, and then we tried intercourse again, without pain. After that she said to put it on every two or three days, until I felt like I didn't need it anymore. I only needed it for a month. One nice thing, is it definitely makes you aroused as well. lol.

P.S. I tried KY, and it didn't help much...

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A.P.

answers from Milwaukee on

I know what you mean. I am mom to a 4 month old boy delivered by C-section as well. Sex has been so uncomfortable that it just isn't happening! Not to be overly graphic, but I wouldn't be able to comfortably fit a pinkie finger in there now. If you are breastfeeding, especially exclusively, that could have a lot to do with your discomfort. My OB explained that the lack of estrogen not only is responsible for dryness but estrogen is what keeps the elasticity of the vagina as well. Good luck...and maybe try other things for a while.
A.

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T.B.

answers from Rapid City on

I don't know about the c-section part, but most likely if you started in labor your bones were spreading out. I found out at a top-notch massage therapist that the 2 sides of my pelvis had grown back over lapping instead of how they should have rejoined. With a quick manuver I was back in shape w/ no more pain there!

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