Sharing a Bedroom Works Because It Has to..what to Do When It Doesn't?

I have an only too but my mom said when I was 2 my brother would not take naps, he was 4. We shared a room because the apt in Japan was a 2 bedroom too. My mom said she would have him watch a movie of whatever he picks (from like 2 choices or 3) and watch the movie in a different room, either the living room or her room while I was taking a nap. She said it worked very well because he was quietly watching a movie and I was sleeping. It gets easier when they are older, from what my friends teen and preteen daughter say. They don't mind sharing a room, most of the time lol.

My kids didn't take naps after age 3. Maybe he doesn't either. Maybe he needs to play quietly in another room or watch a movie or play a game with you while his brother takes a nap.

N.

Well around the age of 3 1/2 lots of kids are kinda ready to give up naps. Maybe not all the way but I know lots don't need one everyday. That was the age my daughter stopped taking a daily nap. So if I were you I wouldn't push it any more. So when your 10 month old goes down for a nap you put him to bed and turn on the white noise. Then you tell your 3 1/2 year old that it's quiet time. He can pick out a move and a couple toys, coloring books etc. and stay in the living room. Explain that as long as he is good and watches his movie and plays nicely he doesn't have to take a nap and when his brother wakes up they can both have a snack. Then that's your time to get in the shower or do whatever you want to do while you have down time. Also I am a sahm to 2 girls ages 4 & 2 I'm 30 weeks pregnant with our third and my hubby is in Iraq. So i know some days are super hard. I find that the more organized I am the smoother my day goes. Like lots of mornings I set my alarm and wake up an hour to a 1/2 an hour before my 2 year old gets up just so I can get in the shower and at least get mostly if not all the way ready for the day. It really helps to get things going in the right direction for the rest of the day.

If you can imagine the situation, we once had FOUR kids in an 800-sq-ft two-bedroom house so I feel your pain! The ceilings were too low for a bunk (Cape-style second floor), so the big kids slept in a captain's bed with a roll-out trundle and then our 2-year-old was in a crib, so that took up all of the floor space. Our infant slept in our room with us, alternating between our bed, a pack-and-play, and his car seat. Needless to say, we moved shortly after. All of that is to say that you can make this work, because you have no choice.

So...I would have the 10-month-old nap elsewhere. The younger babies are usually easier to put down somewhere other than their room...can you have him sleep in a pack and play or stroller in your room or some other part of the house? Or if your older child can fall asleep somewhere else, put him on your bed or on a little mat with a sleeping bag in a room other than their bedroom. Daycare centers and preschools use cute little cots and mats that don't take much space at all and you can stash them behind a door or under a bed when you're not using it, then take it out for his special big-boy naptime.

GL - you'll survive this!

i wish i could help - i am the mom of an only. but i did grow up with 3 younger siblings and we ALWAYS shared rooms. it can work. i agree with the quiet time idea - could your older not lay on the couch (maybe even in front of a quiet movie) for nap? maybe even on your bed? if you laid down ground rules it shoudln't be too hard to avoid him making bad habits like wanting to sleep there at night. you don't mention nights being a problem, so maybe it's an easy fix.

The only logical solution I can give you is to have the older one "rest" in your room quietly. He would have to sleep just rest. look at books, play with a couple quiet toys, watch a movie...he is old enough to do without sleeping nap but still needs down time and little one definitely needs his nap.

I think your 3.5 yo might be outgrowing his naps. Kids can be grouchy and difficult at this stage. If you can get him to nap every other day or every third day, you might want to call that "good enough."

As for it not working...well, sharing a room is nice for kids until they are quite a bit older. There are just some rocky stages. People in many places have the entire family sharing a sleeping area. So...allow yourself some frustration but know it can be done and that you are NOT doing your kids any harm!

Good luck!

Hi L.-

All of my kids share rooms...

Two things come to mind for me...your older son MAY be outgrowing a nap...but I remember when my kids were his age...and I needed them to nap!!! lol Maybe as other moms have mentioned...a 'quiet time'...and perhaps a music player with headphones might help?

Second, particularly as kids got older, I got 'screens' to divide the space for some privacy...one a nice wooden carved one...the others wicker/bamboo. Also, with the 'bunk' beds (mine were about 4ish when I let them be 'top' bunk)...I made 'curtains' to surround the bottom bunk to give it that tent like/cozy feel. It helped the 'younger' get to bed in semi darkness if the 'older' was awake...or had work/reading to do.

Even now...when the college kids come home...they share rooms...and the 'older' still gets 'dibs' on the top bunk!

Best Luck!!
michele/cat

Can you teach your little one to nap in a pack-n-play in your room, or a quiet corner of the house? That was what I did when I nannied for two families of young children: one child was dropped off at the other's house. When naptime came around, we opened up the pack-n-play in a finished basement and let the visiting child sleep in there. I know it will be a daily routine, unless you want to leave it set up, but that would at least buy your little guy some space.

And you are right, when there's conflict about naps, that really becomes problematic. Could your older one go without a nap, but with a regular earlier bedtime? We moved my son to 7 pm to bed (he wakes regularly around 5:30 a.m.) at the latest and he doesn't need the nap. Also, offering a quiet play time to lie in bed, listen to a book on tape/look at books or play quietly at something small might be another option, if it works for you. They do need some downtime without a sibling around, for sure.

I hope someone has the perfect idea for you. You sound like you really do love your kids, too--- one of my girlfriends just went through something similar recently, and she's a great mom, so don't be hard on yourself!

I'm not sure if this would work as your older child still uses a crib - mine doesn't but other than that fact I could have written this post one month ago. What finally worked for us was having the older boy "rest" in my bed with a book on CD minus the book. It sometimes works to bore him to sleep - think longer ones like Mouse on a Motorcycle - or at least keeps him quieter for awhile. Good luck.

We are in the same problem - 800 sq foot and 2 kids, boy and girl. They have to share a room, they like it. At the moment...
When they no longer like it our plan is to move our bed into their room, and put a partition wall up in our room, which is bigger. After all we only sleep on our bedrooms, they don't need to be too big.
you could partition of some of your room so one boy can sleep in there, and then the other stays in their room, so they are seperated and cant' hear each other, then you will hear him though lol!
I dont know!!

We've been in the same house for 15 years due to financial reasons. We have a 1200sq ft 2bedroom house with 2 boys that are four years apart. We had our older son nap in their room and put our younger in ours in a play and pack. They have problems sharing to this day but we deal with it because jobs have come and gone leaving us in this house. It is cozy and we have made it work. It will get easier as they get older regarding the sleep issues. It's other things they fight about now (privacy - or lack thereof). Mine are 13 and 9 and we have survived! Good luck.

mmm... around the time that my littler one was born, i had my older one start napping in my bed. (Just napping, not bed time.) By the time she was three she had also graduated to 'quiet time' - still in my bed, but no pretense of needing to fall asleep. She can entertain herself quietly. If she is too loud it revers to nap time with no books and lights out.
Don't know if doing something like that might help, but, it could be tried. If your big one really needs the crib, you could move the little one instead for naps, or stagger their naps.

Hi L.,

If it's an option, could your older son watch a movie or read books while laying in your bed? When my kids started growing out of their naps, I changed it up a little and a Disney movie usually works great and often times my 5 year old will still fall asleep. :-)

L.,
Only one of my girls napped that long, and I had to stop hers when she was 4 and sharing a room with her 2 year old sister who would not nap any longer. Now my current 3 year old has to share with my 5 month old, and if baby is sleeping in her crib when quiet/nap time rolls around, then she is put down in my bed. I read her two books, then tell her that she doesn't have to sleep, but she does have to stay still and be quiet. I'd say she's asleep about 50% of the time when I come to get her 45 minutes later. On the days she doesn't nap I just make sure she gets to bed right on time. It's always a tough transition to phase to no nap, because they do still need it for their behavior, even if their body doesn't anymore.

Blessings!

Why don't you keep the baby in your room?
He is young, still wakes, needs feedings, will make noises/cry. This will disturb the sleep of the oldest.
The oldest needs his sleep.
Lack of sleep = fussiness and over-tiredness. This makes for a cranky 3 year old. And this makes for a more naughty prone child. Tiredness.

Meanwhile, the baby is getting disturbed sleep too.
A 3 year old has NO impulse control fully developed yet. And he is noisy. Wakes baby.

I would, just put baby in your room.
The age difference between the 2 kids, are disparate. Not compatible.
Not compatible for sleep either.

I didn't read others responses, so sorry if this is repetitive. I would put the older boy in the living room or your bedroom. Maybe he is just done with naps. Give him books or puzzles to play with and tell him that if he doesn't want to take a nap he still needs to have quiet time. My 4 year old does this - I give him a time on his clock when he can come out of his quiet time and get me. It works amazingly well. He usually stays in his room until the specified time ON THE DOT! At least I get an hour to myself:-) and he doesn't wake my little one.

Both of my kids grew out of their naps by 3 1/2. I would say let him give up his nap and he will hopefully adjust himself with an earlier bedtime or later waking time until he reaches a "non cranky" amount of sleep. With the bed sharing I would say it will get easier in time once they both are a little older and the nap thing is sorted out. This is temporary - make sure to tell yourself that :) I have three that I can't get OUT of the same bed, despite the fact that we DO have another (2) bedrooms for them. They are 6, 5 and 2 and sleep just fine together, all in the same full-size bed. Sometimes there is giggling at night but never for more than 10-15 mins. You'll get through this phase and things will be good again :)

I would put one in your room just for naptime. It sounds like naptime is their biggest issue. Either in your bed or in a playpen.

When my son started kicking a fuss about napping-even though he clearly needed it like your son-I explained "ok, but this is quiet time. You don't have to sleep but you have to lay in your bed and have quiet time". 99% of the time he fell asleep. He's old enough to understand quiet time.

Why dont' you nap the youngest in your room in a pack n play if you have to?

I usually take a nap in my bed with both my boys, 3 1/2 and 1. If I don't want to take a nap, I will put the 1 year old in his crib. Then I will lay down with my 3 1/2 year old in my bed until he falls asleep, then get up. My boys have seperate rooms, but my oldest will take up to 30 minutes to fall asleep if I try to put him in his bed, which at naptime isn't worth it. They both sleep in their own beds at night.

Does sharing the room still work at night?
our 4 yr old and 2 yr old share a room. The 4 yr old doesn't always nap and sometimes they are shorter but she always gets some quiet, alone time. Instead of trying to get them to fall asleep together the oldest naps in our bed and the youngest in their room. I've decided for nap I am not so picky as to where (sometimes on a recliner) as long as they nap.