She's Almost 2 and I Need to Get Rid of the Dreadful PACIFIER.

What worked for me was the (we named the paifier binky) Binky Fairy. I maled a card to my kids with a note saying that since they were getting so grown up it was time for the Binky fairy to come and pick up thier binky to give to a new baby that is coming sonn and leave them a new toy for being such a big boy or girl. We made a big deal about the date in the card and the approach of the binky fairy just like it would be Christmas. Since a fairy is small we got a big plans and put christmas lights around it and put out a basket for the binky to go into. We practiced the binky in the basket for days at bedtime the binky went into it and and then magically on the date the binky fairy came and took the binky and left them a new toy in the basket.. We had no crying and the kids thought that every time they saw a new baby that it was thier binky making the baby happy..

Good Luck

For my kids at that age they really liked going to Build-a-Bear, so I told them that when they were ready to give up the pacifier(my son) and the bottle(my daughter) we would go to Build-a-Bear and they could pick out and make an animal that was all their own so they could remember what big kids they were and that they didn't need those things anymore. This worked quickly within days of talking about the shopping trip and letting it be their decision to make they were excited to let go. My daughter named hers Nomo which stood for no more bottles. Anyway hope this works for you as well as it did for me.

My mom helped me out with this one. When my son went to visit, she "lost" the pacifier. She never could find it and we just said that we weren't going to get replace it. He took it very well, probably because we had been saying that he was a big boy and didn't need it any more.

S. Mom of a 6yo and 3yo

Does she use it all day? If so, maybe try limiting it to bedtime and naptime only to begin weaning her.

After a while of sleep use (or if she only uses at bedtime and naptime anyway) what worked for us was we packed them all up in a ziplock, went to Toys R Us and bought my son a "big boy" toy. It was one of those Geo Trax things that he was excited about.

We took everything up to the counter and I handed my son his bag of pacis to give to the cashier. My husband and son walked out of the store with the toy and I stayed back to pay for it and get the bag of pacis back-for use with baby #2 in September. They're well hidden in a cabinet above the sink where he'll never find them ; )

That night, after playing with the new train, my son did ask for a paci and I told him, "do you remember that we paid for your new big boy train with them?" He said, "big boy train" and went to sleep. He never cried about them, but he did ask for one at nap and bedtime the next day and I reminded him as well as nap and bedtime the following day where I once again reminded him.

By the fourth or fifth day, he was over it and hasn't asked for one since.

Since my husband and I both work full time, we did this over a long weekend in case he went through crying fits. We also agreed that no matter how hard it was, we would not give in unless there was some kind of (God forbid) tragedy that he really needed it to comfort him. Thankfully there was no tragedy and thankfully for us, he didn't cry about it.

We did this about a month before his second birthday and he fully understood the concept of where they went.

Good luck!

Small holes in the pacifier can make it a choking hazard.

Aside from limiting the pacifier to bedtime and naptime only... why do you need to take it away now? What about a year from now, when you can use some of the other cognitive-oriented tricks?

We just went cold turkey with my son when he was 19 months old - he did fine because he didn't see it so he didn't ask for it other than to point at the basket where we used to keep them. I let him look for them in the basket - when he didn't see them, he got a little upset but then I was able to distract him with something fun and he forgot about it. Nighttime and naps were a little difficult for a few weeks because that was the time when he used to get his pacifier. But he adjusted, as all kids will. And we implemented some new bedtime routines that he began to love. One was to let him fall asleep with his little book called The Moon in My Room - it has a moon that he can push and comes on as a night light - then dims out itself after about a minute. That is so comforting to him that he sleeps with it every night now and the pacifier is a distant memory - he never even looks for them anymore.

I've also heard about people cutting the pacifier tip off, then gradually cutting a little more off each day so that eventually you can tell her it's "broken." I thought that cold turkey was better in our case.

And remember that the longer you wait the tougher it will probably be. She is just becoming more and more attached to it, and you are giving her a modicum of control by giving it back when she asks you for it.

It's not an easy thing to do, especially when they love the pacifier so much - after all, they are still our babies, right! But you don't want to have a 4 year old child who still has her pacifier! Then you'll have to deal with her dentist and pediatrician. :)

My cousin had the same problem. What she did was one at a time cut the tops off so that the child was being winged from them. Eventually, the child was 100% off the nippy.

C. R

For my daughter I was more strong willed - she only used it at bedtime (and naptime) - so I just took it away cold turkey - BUT I had made the decision that she was to no longer use it. ONCE YOU TAKE IT AWAY - that's it - NO TURNING BACK. The first night was not so good - she cried on and off for about 40 minutes - my husband and I took turns going in there to put her back to sleep - first time it was 5 minutes then we waited 10 and so forth. The second night there was less crying, and so forth - by the end of the 4th night we were done and she never asked for her pacifier again! It was a long process but we had made up our minds about not giving in - if you do give in and give it back then it undermines your authority.

With my son (the stubborn one) - I simply cut the whole nipple part off and told him it was broken. He tried time and time again to put it in his mouth - only to have it fall right back out b/c there was nothing to hold on to. I gave it to him when he took and nap and at bedtime. By the second day he was throwing it out of his crib and telling me that it was "boken". If we decide to have a third, I would definitely use this method again! It didn't break my heart as much as the first! Good luck! And remember, DON'T GIVE IN once you start!

i think you'l be surprised as i was with my first daughter who LOVED her pacifier!! it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. first,we eliminated it to only in bed, then took it away at naps and then took it away together. she cried the first night for about 15 mins. and that was it! i thought it would be at least a week of sleepless nights (and when does that sound good to anyone?). the only residual negative was that going down for naps used to be a breeze and without the paci it took her longer to calm herself. i am in the same situation as you are right now with daughter number two and i just need to bite the bullet and do it! best of luck!

What i did was, explain to her that the pacifier fairy is coming to get her binky ( or whatever you may call it). Just like the tooth fairy. Tell her she is now a big girl and that she needs to put it under her pillow for the binky fairy (again whatever name you may call it). That worked very well for me, my daughter was very excited and never thought of it again. I hope something works for you, but you need to do it sooner than later. GOOD LUCK!

Hi S.! The method that worked for my daughter was cutting the tip of the pacifer little by little each day. What happens is that they do not like the way it feels in their mouth so eventually they do not want to put the pacifier in their mouth anymore. It took me about three days! She did ask for it not for long because everytime she would ask for it I would show her the cut pacifier and she would not want it. She stopped asking for it after a week or so. When and if you do this just make sure you throw away any other pacifier that she might find. Only use one or cut the other ones as well. Remember cut a tip at a time don't cut the whole tip just little by little. I hope this helps!

Both of my kids used their pacifiers until they were at least 2 1/2 so don't stress out about it too much, it is a comfort thing. But I got my daughter to give hers up by telling her that if she brought all of them in a bag to the toy store and turned them in to the cashier she could "exchange" them for any toy in the store. This worked for her. For my son, we had been to Disney when he was just about 2 1/2 and the characters kept trying to take his pacifier-when we were looking at the pictures about 2 months later we talked about how they kept trying to take his pacifier and he said to me I don't need my passey anymore, and he threw it out. So we collected all of them and threw them away. I think he was just ready. Both of them had a rough first night or two, but we just talked about how big they were and how proud of them we were (and it helped that they threw them ALL out themselves so they knew there were none left and I couldn't cave in and give them one) and that was it. They are now 6 and 4 and will still tell me they miss their pacifier if they see themselves with one in a picture.
Good Luck, I hope my ideas help, but you know your child and what might work for her.
A.

why don't "they" work? are you giving in and giving the pacifier back to her?

make a decision and follow through. we decided to take away my son's cold turkey and never looked back.

however you choose to take it away, stick to it. teach your daughter that you are the parent and what you say, goes.

I can't tell from your post if you are already doing this, but maybe start by only letting her have it in her bed. This is a good first step without taking it away from her completely. Sometimes doing it gradually helps.

My brother-in-law just got my newphew to give up his a few months ago, right around the time her turned 3. They did the "bedtime only" step first around 2, then waited until he was a bit older so he could be reasoned with. My newphew really wanted this particular new toy and my b-i-l told him he could have it, but he'd have to "pay" for it with pacifiers. This conversation took place for a few weeks before one day, my nephew just walked up to him and said "Daddy, I'm ready - I want my toy." They bagged up all his pacifiers in a ziplock and headed off to the store. When they got to the register, my b-i-l explained the situation to the cashier, who took the pacifiers as "payment" (then, of course, threw them away once they left!). My newphew had a hard time sleeping for the first couple nights, but since has been just fine.

Not sure if that is helpful, but I thought my b-i-l's tactic was creative and successful! Good luck - and just remember, you never see a 20 year old walking around with a pacifier. They all give them up eventually : )

S.,

This is the response I sent to a woman some time back with the same question. Cutting the holes in the pacifier is a good idea and I hear it works most times but not always. So this is my suggestion that's a little different of an approach:

My friend did something very different with her daughter that I thought was pretty interesting. I'm pretty confident I will have to do something similar with my son as he loves his binky (as we call it). This process all depends on how well your daughter understands but being that she's almost 2, I'm sure this would work well. My friend tried the whole take it away and give back at bed time thing...didn't work. She had a tenacious little girl who would scream at nap time and bed time and just refused to sleep. So she got more creative. She started telling her daughter how she heard that the world is running out of pacifiers and that there are little babies who needed them very badly in other countries where they can't afford them or they didn't have them available. She told her this story over the course of a couple of weeks also adding in how lucky she was to have them and how sad it is that other babies can't have them, etc. Then she asked her daughter one day if she would be interested in helping the other babies out by sending her pacifiers to them. Her daughter was eager to help so she packed them into a little box, took them to the post office and just mailed them back to the house. It seemed to the daughter they were going to babies in need but when they came back to the house, she just threw the package away. Her daugher fussed a little at sleep time but she would go back to how nice it was of her to help other babies and how kind she was for doing it, etc. Children at that age love approval and doing a good job so this actually worked very well. And she had a lesson in helping others in need. I thought it was a great idea. Just a thought for you.

Best wishes!
S.

that's a hard one. the only thing i know about pacifiers is that they are a self-soothing device. parents give them to help themselves, and kids keep them to help themselves (ie, they ask for them out of stress, to go to sleep, etc...to self soothe). so taking it away before the child willingly gives it up is taking away the child's self-soothing mechanism.

One of my more successful mama moments. We had a huge celebration when my oldest got rid of the little baby pacifier. We gathered them all up tied them with ribbon and she dropped them in the garbage. We then celebrated that she was now officially a big girl. Balloons and cake too. What was even funnier was that she conducted this ceremony with her baby sister who was only about 14 months old (she did this on her own) and we had to go out and buy new ones!!!
This also worked for getting rid of the bottle!
A.

Yes, you might as well take two deep breaths and prepare for a demonstration of her dramatic abilities. She will cry but not for a week or two (unless you give in and give it to her only one time that will increase her cry time exponentially). Now think, on the day that you decide to do this if there are any occasions coming up in which you will be in a public arena and her crying for her pacifier will cause you to give in? Choose a good, at home day and she may cry for more than an hour but chances are after her giving her best performance and being as bright as she is, she will not want to go through that again. If she does, it will be of shorter duration and with less energy. I just read the idea about cutting off the tip gradually and that sounds good too.

My advice would be to slowly limit the when and where she can have the pacifiers. My son will be 2 in August, and right now he is only allowed to have his pacifiers at naptime and bedtime - they stay in the crib. When he gets up, we have him throw his pacifiers in the crib and we say "bye bye pacis". If he asks for one during the day, we say "remember, pacis are only for night-night." We will next limit them to just bedtime, and then get rid of them all together.

Hi S.,

I had that problem with my oldest daughter. I kept telling her that "when she was a big girl she would throw that pacifier in the garbage." One day she did, and I immediately got it out of the house. She did cry more than once over the fact that it was gone, but in a couple days it was a thing of the past. I know people who have also told their children the Easter Bunny or th Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus would leave them a special present if they left the pacifier for them. In my experience 3 days is usually all it takes for a child to break a habit.

I wish you success with minimal crying!

My twin boys were extremely attached to their binkies. I first started weaning them off their binkies at around 2. They were only allowed to have their binks in bed. Unfortunatly that meant they could go in their bed at any time and have it, so we changed to only at bed (sleeping) time. I did this for a few months and thought it was fine. Then I had to take one of the boys to the dentist for a chipped tooth and she could tell that he used a binky without even asking me because his teeth were starting to push out. We went home that day and I rounded up all the binks without them seeing and when they went to bed that night they aked where they were. I told them the binks were all gone and that was the end of it. One of the boys cried a little for a day or two, but that was it. Not a word about it since; it's been about three months. You might be surprised, she probably doesn't need it as much as you think.

You just gotta do it! My son cried at bed-times for about 3 days, then he was fine.
My sister had baby twins, so we "gave" them to the girls in a little gift bag. You can bring them to day-care or give them to other babies theoretically. Or you can just hang them on the tree outside for the paci-fairy and the fairy will leave a special treat overnight.

Just someideas.
C.

We have 6 children and each of them used a pacifier. Our youngest is 7 months ahd she uses one now. I know that pacifiers do provide soothing and I was a thumb sucker as a child so I give a binky to all our babies to avoid that. That is a much harder habit to break. Our dentist told us that as long as they were done with the binky at three years old their bite would not have any long term effects. (He was right, each one had a little overbite that corrected in a few months time.) Most of the children had binkies till they were three. We did change them to 'bedtime only' with all the children at one point or another. Then at (with a couple it was before) three, they all took one to three days and they were fine. I specifically remember one of our sons was really attached to it. I just told him that he was starting preschool and that big boys who went to preschool no longer use binkies. The first night he came to me and was sad. I asked if he wanted me to snuggle with him. He did, and went to sleep and that was the last we heard of his wanting a binky. I think children are so much smarter than we generally give them credit for. I really believe that they can truly sense when we are serious and are going to stick to our guns on something. Whether it's breaking a habit or dicipline or whatever. I know with a couple of our other children we 'quit' the binky a few times because I truly wasn't ready to have them be done. When I did decide we were going to stick to it, it was never a problem anymore. Good luck with what you decide.

M. SAHM of 6, 7 months to 12 years.

What finally worked for us was the pacifier actually broke (got a hole in the rubber) and we had to tell our daughter that it broke and we couldn't get any more new ones. For some reason or another she accepted this even after several weeks had lapsed and she had asked for it. On the other hand, we saw a four year old in my neighborhood still walking around with one in her mouth last fall and it just looked weird. I think eventually a social correction from peers would occur but circumvent that now with some intervention.

Hello,
My little guy had his pacifier until he was three. We just kept it out of sight and only gave it to him if he asked for it. Eventually he only had it at night for bed. I tried forcing it and it just made it worse. Your daughter will give it up when she is ready, it is a soothing thing for the kids. You need to remember that your child is not like all the other children in the world and do what is best for her, not what others are telling you to do. There is no rule on when they should surrender the pacifier; only your daughter will know when it is time. Be patient, it will happen.
S. T.

At this point it's more a habit than a NEED. And, it sounds like you give into her and give it back to her. Just simply take them away and do NOT give them back to her. Cut her cold turkey or she'll always see it as an option to get it back. What it comes down to is that YOU'RE in control of it. She may not be happy about it, but if you want it gone, don't give it back to her.

I did the Paci Fairy. I talked to her on and off for about a month and told her that the paci fairy will be coming. I picked a day and on that day i told her the paci fairy was coming and had her collect all her paci's and put them into a box. We then placed them outside on a bench in our yard. We ran an errand and when we got home i preoccupied her and went and put her special toy into the box. I then had her go check the box. I did "baby Dawn" which was a special baby that stays in her bedroom for bedtime or when she is upset. This did the trick for us and for another of our friends. Another thing i heard is having the child go to build a bear and put the paci into the bear so that the paci was still close to them. Good Luck!!

Hello. I know a M. who attatched a bunch of balloons to the pacifier and let it float off into the sky. She did this at her other child's birthday party. I think she thought it was past time for her son to get rid of it so while the kids were playing outside at the birthday party she directed all adults and kids to the balloons.
She told them that he was going to let them go because he was a big boy. The kids were excited and so was the child-I'm sure just to see the balloons float away. They let them go and everyone was clapping and the kids were facinated. One problem....it got stuck in the tree in the yard so don't do this by trees!! The older kids got it loose and then it went floating away. The point behind all the tips you're getting is to stand firm and don't give in. Kids really do bounce back after letting go of some things....us M.'s are the ones that are scared to let them suffer for just a little while...I know I hate it! Hope this tip helps. Maybe you can do this at her 2nd bday in Sept. or at any other family gathering coming up. The more to see the balloons go off, the better.
NJ

I had the same problem except my son was 2 1/2 by the time I fully weaned him from the pacifier. First I limited pacifier use to nap and bed times, then, since he is a smart little guy, I explained to him that as his pacifiers wore out he needed to throw them away. We checked them together regularly for wear and tear that would make them unsafe (due to rubbing teeth or chewing). At the time we started he was 2 and had three pacifiers. One by one he threw them in the garbage. When it got to the last one, he asked for it a few times over the next three weeks but since he had thrown it away himself it was easy to explain that it had broken and was in the garbage. No tears like I had experienced when I myself had tried to take them away. Good Luck!

hi. we stopped giving my son his pacifier a few months before he turned two. we started by talking up him being a big boy and how he can have it only at night. worked with no problem. our problem was giving it up at night (which we have finally done many months later!). we just stopped cold turkey and the first week was very difficult - he would not go to sleep and would wake up in the middle of the night crying for it. we just kept talking up the big boy thing, and telling him he is too big for a pacifier and his teeth are breaking it.
at the end of the first week (when i thought it would be like this forever!) i asked his daycare if they had any suggestions. one suggestion his teacher had was to treat it like the tooth fairy (only its the pacifier fairy). put the pacifier under the pillow when they go to bed and while they are sleeping the pacifier fairy comes to collect all the pacifiers and in its place leaves a surprise under her pillow. then when she ask for the pacifier you can say, 'remember we gave it to the pacifier fairy.'
hope one of these suggestions helps.

At 1 my daughter went from binky all the time to just nap and bed time. Then at 2 we told her she was a big girl and no longer needed it. She cried for a little while the first couple of nights then nothing. My other friend tried the "binky fairy". She had her put all of her binkies in a basket and left them outside her door for the fairy to come and get and she would leave a gift. Worked like a charm!

I like the binky fairy idea but I think your best bet is to just toss them. Why sugar coat it? She will deal with it.

Friends of mine have said they put small holes in the pacifier when it is time to get rid of it. Then she won't get the satisfaction that she gets now. Hope this works for you.

With both my kids we gave them to Santa. It was a wonderful, peaceful experience.

My daughter left them ALL on a plate for Santa, next to the cookie plate with a note asking him to give them to kids/babies that need them. She asked for it a few times a day after that but we just reminded her that Santa gave them to the babies, and that she was a big girl. In less than a week, she stopped asking.

With my son, he put all his in a ziplock bag and when Santa came to his daycare center for a visit, he gave him the baggie filled with his binkies. Similar situation - he asked, we reminded and eventually all was well.

It was actually MUCH easier than I had thought it would be.

Some 26 years ago my brother got mad and threw his out of his crib. My mom "searched" for it. She left the room, cut the top off and then went back to look more. When she "found it" she handed it to him and he didn't like it. He pulled it out of his mouth and she noted it was broken. "He MUST have broken it by throwing it!" LOL! That worked great for her!

Good Luck to you! Stay consistent and strong. It will pass! :)

I cut a small hole in the end and increased the size every couple of days, eventually it was gone! Good Luck!
Sam