Shoe Tying! Arrrrrggh! Darn VELCRO!

Don't stress about it, eventually he'll learn. My dd is 7, she's been tying her own shoes for 2 years. Ds is 8, he's just now learning - he knows how to do it, just prefers not to. The fact that he is still so bad at shoe tying confused me, because I only bought him shoes with laces. I found out that there are little girls in school who will tie his shoes for him! So, if he really doesn't want to learn, he'll find a way around it. When he wants to learn, he will. The little girl is no longer in ds's class, and he wanted basketball hightops this year, and what do you know - he can tie his shoes himself now!

You can put him in velcro for school, and tied for home. That way, he doesn't have to stress trying to get it at school. I found my kids got it faster when I used the bunny ears reference. Most kids can make the X with the laces. Then, you just make two bunny ears and make an X with them and pull. Easy peasy.

Another child taught our daughter.. Maybe he has a friend that could explain it to him.. Soon he will be of an age that velcro shoes are just not stylish..

In the big picture, this is really a small issue. I would leave it unless there was some really compelling reason why. Honestly, he could go his whole life without learning how and it would affect him very little.

Have you tried youtube and searching for how to tie shoes? I like Ian's Shoelace Site (http://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/knots.htm) and learned his "Fast Shoelace Knot ". It will amaze your friends. :o) ... or at least mine!

its a phase it will pass :)

I second the idea of getting velcro for school and tie shoes for home. People have a tendency to get in a comfort zone and not venture out of it. If he wants to go out and play on the weekends then he has to tie his shoes. I was really surprised when my 6 year old came to me and said that I needed to get him tie shoes so he could learn to tie. I was in a car accident and had to learn to do everything again and my right side was paralyzed and I learned really fast that a person succeeds a lot more easily if there is no other choice.

I still remember my mother endlessly coaching me (in the years before velcro), and O. day, she'd had enough. She set me in the entryway with the lace-ups and told me that I couldn't go out to play until my shoes were tied. Period. She wouldn't engage with me, wouldn't come help me-- she made it my challenge to figure out. I was around 7 or 8, and that was it for me. No problems after that!

My 8yo doesn't tie his shoes. It irks me because I tied them at 5 AND because he ties plenty of other knots just fine, but will. not. tie. his. shoes. period... but my mom says "Eh. Outdated technology. When we've got velco, elastic, and fast slides, zippers, and clicks... when does O. really *need* to tie shoes? We don't hook our laces anymore either."

((Ironically I have an 1800's childrens book / parenting book that talks about how O. should give their 1yo lace hooks to play with so that when it comes time for them to start hooking their own laces they're already familiar with them.))

But it still irks me. Even his tie shoes he rigs so that he can slip them on and off.

We have 5 kids ages 23, 15 and 6 year old triplets. I have a hard time teaching mine to tie shoes for some reason so Dad does that part. Our two older boys were taught at age 6. All they had were laced shoes so either they learned or their laces were all over.

With the trio, my husband just taught the first O. last night. They used O. of my sneakers and just kept doing it over and over again together until she caught on and was doing it on her own. He'll do the same thing with the other two O. at a time.

We've only bought velcro shoes since they couldn't tie but tying their shoes will open up a lot more styles of shoes they couldn't get before since they're coming out with more laced shoes now than before since they're coming out with colorful laces and stuff.

With your son, if he knew how to tie before, stop buying the velcro. Get rid of them now! He'll have no choice but to tie his own shoes, especially if his friends at school are seeing him struggle. Just have him practice over and over again with any laced shoe every day. He knows how but it sounds like he's taking the lazy route cuz that's his only option right now.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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my daughter is also 7 and still struggles with shoe tying, i give her no option with tennis shoes but to tie, she still has boots and easy dress shoes, but learning to tie her shoes on her own time.

it's not uncommon, i know a guy i grew up with that NEVER had laced shoes, his dad and him both wear velcroe shoes.

My son was working on learning to tie his shoes when our insurance stopped covering OT. He is 8 now, and still hasn't learned how, so we just buy the velcro shoes. However, he does like tying knots. He knows how to tie 2 strings together with 2 overhand knots, how to make a giant "knot monster" by repeating dozens of overhand knots, and can do a square knot when prompted as part of cub scouts. He is willing to practice the knots when all the other scouts are doing it too. I'm hoping this will help, because a square knot tied with bunny ears would work on shoelaces.
Another tip I got was to try it with your eyes closed, in case a visual processing issue is causing the problem.

Easy answer - my son learned how to tie his shoes when he literally outgrew the kind with velcro! Late bloomer - lol?

Hi, Denise:
Why is this a problem for you?
Just want to know.
D.

I understand this is frustrating and it is a phase, but I was frustrated with my son bc he refused to tie shoes, and wanted velcro. My husband and I just stopped buying him velcro shoes so he'd HAVE to learn and couldn't be lazy about it. I'll admit, it was a little more difficult to find tie shoes that weren't ugly, but we wanted to make sure our son wasn't lacking a necessary life function. He can tie shoes now, just needs to tie them a little tighter, so I let him tie his shoes then help him when he's done(as long as we're not pressed for time).

Hi. Sometimes ya just gotta pick your battles. If he knows how to do it and just doesn't want to and there are velcro shoes out there that fit him...quit fighting it. Soon there will come a day when there will be a pair of really cool shoes that he really wants that he will have to tie and your problem will vanish "poof". Then he will become a teen and find an expensive brand of shoes that he likes (like DC) which no O. ties on top and are treated more like a slip on shoe and he'll forget again. That's life. LOL Best wishes

I agree, Give them no option. I do not buy any shoes with velcro. they have all laced sneakers, and dress shoes, for my boys, their boots are the only velcro. They need to contstantly do it to remember those skills.

I don't know if this will help and I haven't read any other posts so I'm sorry if someone else made this comment and I wasted some of your precious time. When I was younger my mom got a shoe box lid and made holes in it like that of a shoe and threaded the lace through it. I would then learn to tie it on the shoebox. It worked and it was more of a game b/c it wasn't a chore to do when you were trying to run out the door. Hope this helps.

When I was little tying shoes seemed like a hard thing to do and if I could get someone to do it for me, that was ok with me. I didn't start tying my shoes until the kids in school were picking on me and showed me how to do it. By getting the velcro ones, your son won't pick it up. Why should he?