Should 10 Year Old Son Attend Great Aunts Funeral Who Hes Never Met?

Death is a part of life. he should learn this early. So many adults are afraid of funerals mostly because they have never been to one. Take him so he can become comfortable with funerals.

In my opinion, yes he should go. Kids should go to funerals when it is someone they aren't too close to so that they can gain experience. He will learn how to act, what happens, what's expected, and get to see other family. Look at it as a way to show him off. I know that when I had some close friends in high school die, it was really nice to know what to expect. For a lot of people it was the first funeral they had been to, and it was extremely stressful for them. Death is part of life, and if we teach kids how to celebrate life and death, it helps them become better balanced in life. That's just my opinion though.

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In my opinion, yes he should go. Kids should go to funerals when it is someone they aren't too close to so that they can gain experience. He will learn how to act, what happens, what's expected, and get to see other family. Look at it as a way to show him off. I know that when I had some close friends in high school die, it was really nice to know what to expect. For a lot of people it was the first funeral they had been to, and it was extremely stressful for them. Death is part of life, and if we teach kids how to celebrate life and death, it helps them become better balanced in life. That's just my opinion though.

I would think of it as a family reunion and that it would be great if he goes because he will have a chance to spend time with family. We recently went to my FILs memorial service and the kids there were appreciated by everyone. My kids were bored by parts of it....they are 6 and 12. But they enjoyed being around family, cousins, and meeting friends of the family. You could tell a LOT of the adults enjoyed seeing them. If he is upset about it and really does not want to go I would contemplate letting him stay home.

It's a family thing, these things can turn out to be fairly social and it's fine if he goes.
The older folks just love seeing the younger kids.
It can give them a feeling of continuity.

I've been to a co-workers funeral for her father not because I knew the deceased but because I wanted to support my friend - she was glad to see me along with all her other friends and family.

I think a funeral would be a great opportunity for your son to meet his extended family. I have good memories of family funerals I attended as a child. I probably never would have met half of my cousins if I hadn't of attended all the funerals.

Sure, why not?

My FIL is one of 12, and most of the family lives just an hour away from us. I don't mean to sound uncaring, but there have been many funerals, and we always go if we can. Our sons don't know the person who died, but they know many of the relatives that attend.

Remember, funerals aren't for the dead. They are for the living, especially for those who are grieving the loved one. Your son might not know his great-aunt, but he does know other relatives and it would be nice for him to meet even more.

I guess I don't see a downside to him going.

He's ten. It's not his job to be supportive of adults.
Let him decide (with no pressure either way) if he wants to go.

Kids just being kids at a funeral is a breath of fresh air and a reminder of the circle of life for everyone in attendance. He doesn't have to "support" anyone. He can just be himself, sit nicely through the service and have some good food after.

At my grandma's funeral, my niece was 2. After EVERY song during mass she clapped and yelled hooray! Everyone loved it and we knew grandma would, too!

Lots of people go to funerals of people they have never met. There are two reasons to attend a funeral - to mourn/grieve someone you card about, and to support those who are mourning. In your son's case, and largely in your case as well, it's this second reason for attending. Your son is old enough to understand death, and to absorb your views on it (afterlife, heaven, whatever) and to appreciate the views of others even if they are different. He's old enough to learn what to say and not to say, how to act, etc. These are vital life skills.

My son's friend lost his father at 15. We are of a religion that does not do open caskets, so I had to prep my son for what he would see, what he should do, what he should say. It meant the world to the family to have all these teens attend. I realize your son is younger, but sometimes it's easier before they have expectations/fears, and when it's a family member.

Your son is part of a larger family. He can learn to reach out and be a part of it.

I didn't bring my kids to my grandmother's funeral. Partly because she was a bad person and none of us were sad she had passed, and partly because they were too young. My oldest was just shy of 10.

Your son can meet all of those people at another event while they are in town. I wouldn't bring him.

I don't think it really matters what anyone else thinks, what do YOU think? You're his mother, what's important to you? Personally family is important to me and I would want my child to meet as many family members as possible, even under sad circumstances, but that's just me. Do you not think your son is mature enough to handle it? I think ten is old enough to be respectful, well behaved and have a general understanding of life and death, even if he never met the deceased.

No. There is absolutely no need to present him with those images. He wasn't close to her and didn't even know her. Would you ask if this was a stranger's funeral at a nearby church? Of course not. It's the same thing. She is a stranger to him and he doesn't have anything to gain by going.

I "do" think he would enjoy meeting with the family either before or after the services. Most of the time they meet early to eat or to just be together. I'd let him go to that part but let him go with other kids to a cousin's house or something during the service.

i would take him. i once (as an adult) went to a funeral of a man i never met. but i was good friends with his son and went to support him.

Does your son want to go? He is old enough to choose, so his answer will be your answer. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks he should do.

Funeral attendance is not obligatory. People should only attend if they truly want to be there, regardless of who else will be present.
Expecting a child to 'be supportive' for a bunch of adults is inappropriate.
I also don't see the need to go for the purpose of meeting people who happen to have a biological/legal link, but were never in his life before and probably won't be in his life going forward. What is the point?

Yes, he should go. This is family, and showing up to wakes/funerals is what families do. It's pretty common in large families that some members only see each other at weddings and funerals. There will be lots of people there to get reacquainted with or meet. It will be a nice chance for all of you to connect with some distant relatives while supporting those closer to your aunt who will be grieving. Kids at a funeral are always a nice reminder that life goes on. I've never regretted taking my kids to a funeral.

I think he should go. As sad as funerals are, they often turn into family-reunion type occasions once the service is over. It's a great chance for him to get to meet his extended family.

And, in general IMO, you don't go to funerals for the person who is gone, you go for the people who were left behind.

He could go. At that age, there are so many people there that they all blur together only one or two might stand out. As for seeing these people again, it may happen but probably not. He won't remember them anyway.

When I was younger I felt like I got dragged to all the family gatherings whether I wanted to go or not. Many times I was one of two or three other kids there and we did not know each other and make for an awkward day.

Ask him and let him express his reason(s) of why or why not that he wants to go. Honor his request and perhaps he can spend time with a friend at home. Or, he can go but skip the actual service. He could decide to go but want to stay near the rear or the building so that he feels he has a quick way out.

Sorry for the lost of your great aunt.

the other S.

Your son can meet extended family during a vacation, reunion or some other kind of function other than a funeral. I don't agree with taking a child to a funeral just to see his extended family.

You need to decide if it will be difficult on your 10 year old to go. He's still young. You know how mature he is. Figure it out based on his maturity.

Yes, he should go. It's good for him to learn to interact with people who are mourning. It's good for family to see him. Funerals aren't just sad affairs, they're also a lovely reminder of how precious life is.

What do *you* think and what does *he* think? No kid every really wants to go to a funeral. But, if he were close to several grieving family members, he might decide he should go to support them. If he isn't close to those people, but you were close with your Aunt, then he might choose to support you. But It doesn't sound like either of those is the case.

So, if he has nothing better to do, I don't see why he can't go. If he does, I don't see why he should.

My kids' great grandmother died not that long ago. We chose not to have them go.

However, that's because of the family just as much as going to sit through a very lengthy and tear filled service. The tweens that did go - they had them speak (which I thought was too much) and they broke down and cried in front of everyone. I didn't see the need myself.

We asked our kids and gave them the option (the older ones). My husband explained it all and answered their questions. They said they would rather not. So my husband made the final decision.

In our case, there was a reception after which was jammed pack, and it was chaotic. My husband's family is a bit excessive. Even he wanted to leave after about ten minutes. We stayed longer of course, but if we'd had our kids - it would have been a lot for them.

So I think it depends on the family and the service - and if your son is up for that, and interested.

I have a good friend who took her kids that age to a funeral and it was a simple quiet one, and the reception after was far more manageable and light. They were absolutely fine. I saw them there and the kids just processed it well.

As for your son never having met her - and you only going mostly to support your mom, personally - I would just go myself I think.

He's old's enough to decide for himself. Talk to him about it, tell him what you think and what the other adults think, then let him make his own choice about it.

No. Not at all.

But, he can definitely meet family at the get together afterwards.

many families only get together for funerals and weddings... sad but true...

you know your kiddo... if you think he can handle it.. take him.. it is a good learning experience as he wont be upset about the death of someone he just doesn't know.

it would be a good time for him to see cousins he might not see often.

He's old enough to make a choice. I've always allowed my child to decide. Funerals are for the living, not the dead. He's a child and as another poster stated, should not be expected to support adults.