Should I Be Annoyed at Hubby?--kinda Long...

Updated on May 03, 2011
B.W. asks from El Segundo, CA
28 answers

So I live in the LA area and Prince is doing a tour here called "21 nights", where he is playing 21 different shows, releasing the tour days 3 at a time. Obviously as a child growing up in the 80's and 90's I listened to a ton of Prince and would LOVE to see the show. However, I am basically 39 weeks with #2, and have a 2 year old daughter, so I am very tired and practically useless once 8pm rolls around--in no shape to go to a show that starts at 9pm and stand or sit for 3+ hours. He went last weekend with his brothers, which is awesome, I'm glad he had the opportunity, even though I was a little jealous. He told me he wanted to go again, but would maybe buy tix for sometime in the next month, as Prince still has 11 more shows to be scheduled...He knows I would love to go, and I was totally honest that it sucks that I can't go now and would jump at the chance if it was in a month or so. Today he told me that he bought 4 more tickets to go again this weekend, and that "I am totally invited" but he knows it probably won't work out. I am so annoyed...I would never tell him not to go, we just don't have that relationship...If rolls were reversed he'd never ask me not to go either. But now I will be without him on Saturday night again (one of our family evenings) AND he will be seeing a bitchin show that I don't get to go to because I am the pregnant one! Is this so stupid?

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So What Happened?

Wow ladies thanks for all the input! I guess it feels good having some validation ;-) I can't say I'm mad, but really annoyed, both by the fact that I prob won't see him, and by the fact that he's seeing him twice! I'm not too worried about going into labor, I have a c section scheduled for May 12th, a few days before my due date, my first daughter was a few days late. He's going with his brother, brother's girlfriend, and prob a friend f I don't come. I'm thinking of either taking the advice to go, and if I want to leave early, MAKE him take me home OR have my mom come into town a day early (she's coming in Sunday at this point). He's a super great guy, a wonderful father, not generally selfish, but definitely not putting himself in my position! Anyway, I have NEVER been into chat type sites before but I am really loving Mamapedia, and thanks for taking the time to respond!

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R.K.

answers from Dallas on

Take a long afternoon nap and go. You can always leave if you need to but I bet you won't because it will be so much fun.

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J.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I say GO GO GO !!! I have seen Prince 3 times and they all were kick a$$ shows !! Once you get there it will be to high energy to be tired !!! Have fun !

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Hmm, that's a h*** o*e...I think you should go, tired or not. And if you go into labor, well, it will be a good story. I would have gone at 39 weeks. Prince may not live forever. Take this opportunity.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I would be beyond mad. That's just rubbing it in your face. I mean you're pregnant with HIS child.

If it were me, I would:
Ask him to stay home and watch the 2y while you went. I totally get that you are ready to pop, so I would rent a limo to drive me!
Then I'd take a nap right before so that you could enjoy at least half of it before falling asleep on the limo ride either home or to the hospital...

4 moms found this helpful
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G.R.

answers from San Diego on

I was almost 9 months pregnant when I went and saw prince! First row center seat. Prince probably thought I was nuts! Take a nap and stay super hydrated so u don't get Braxton hicks and go have a great time! You have been in labor before you know what it feels like. If you shouldnt go cause you might go into labor wouldn't you think your husband should be home to???'incase u go into labor! Go and have fun!

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I hope to High Heaven you don't go into labor while he's at the show. Yep, I would be mad....the timing just totally sucks!

That said, he had fun & I totally get that this is a rare opportunity & he got caught up in the moment...& yes, without you. I'm a little....no, a lot!...... surprised that he even thought he could go with how close to delivery you are! Shame on him.....

2 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

By the time you get to the show and Prince comes on, you're adrenaline will be so pumped up that you won't feel tired at all.

Go and have a blast.

If you do end up feeling tired, either have your husband take you home or go out and sleep in the back seat of the car till the concert it over.

There SHOULD be seats for you to sit in during the concert. Might not be right up in the middle of the action, but it's better than standing for 3 hours.

Oh, and to answer your question about being annoyed with your husband... Even though he knew that you would be more up to going in a month, he got tickets for a time/day that you aren't fond of. That mixed with pregnancy hormones and late pregnancy anxiety (Get this thing out of me)... Yep, you are 100% allowed to be annoyed at your hubby :)

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R..

answers from Chattanooga on

I understand you... I would be annoyed. He got to go, and that was great. He had an opportunity, so it's not like he's missing out on a 'once in a lifetime' thing. Plus... that makes this 2 weekends in a row, right? Yep, that would annoy me too. Especially if he 'invited' you knowing how hard it would be on you. Plus... you are 39 weeks prego for cryin' out loud!!! You could go into labor at any time... with a 2 year old at home. At this point he should be doing whatever he can to help make life easier for you, not going to concerts every weekend!!

Maybe you can invite a bunch of friends over and have a girl's night while he's at the concert...

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P.K.

answers from New York on

I would just go see the show. If not you are going to be ticked off at him
and it is so not worth it. You will be uncomfortable at home or wherever
you are so be somewhere you want to be.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Two Saturday nights out of a lifetime...for concerts that are unique events? If he were abandoning you every Saturday forever he'd have a problem. It sounds like instead he just got carried away with how great the first show was and got tickets for the next possible show. Yeah, it was inconsiderate of him to say you were "totally invited" when he knows you can't physically make it. It was inconsiderate to get tickets now when he could have gotten them in a month (but would you really feel like standing for 3-plus hours even a month after giving birth? And what if you have a c-section and have a longer recovery? Etc.). Also, the tour dates aren't known more than a short time in advance, right? So there may be no concert at all at a time you could make it in a month or whenever.

I'd tell him, gee, honey, I'm frankly jealous, and the "total invitation" was annoying. And if he's halfway awake he'll apologize.

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

Once I can understand but twice seems like a bit much. And there is the what if you go into labor question.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

Yes, if I would be extremely annoyed. What happens if you do into labor while or just before it's show time?

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

Get a babysitter and take a long nap in the afternoon. Go and have a good time. If you need to leave early, he has to leave with you. That's his punishment for buying tickets now.

Either he did this on purpose, knowing you wouldn't be going, or he just doesn't think about you. Either way, MAKE him have to think by going.

Rock on!
Dawn

1 mom found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

yeah, it's 'stupid'... but I would be totally pissed too :)

Really, he's had his fun for the first show.. so now it's being rubbed in your face a second time, even if he isn't intentionally doing it... what if you go in labor that night? He better be bringing you back some tshirts.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes it is....but he's the stupid, thoughtless and selfish one. He saw the show with his brother, now it's time for him to stay home be a good husband, father and MAN/HUSBAND, with his very pregnant wife and little child!.

Blessings.....

1 mom found this helpful
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K.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

No one can say you're wrong to feel the way you do as long as you're being honest with yourself and him about it. It's annoying when you feel like you're missing out on something...and when you feel like maybe you're not be considered or acknowledged.

On the other hand...my sister in law was the worst during her pregnancy. Not only did she keep herself from having any fun, she would make such a big deal about my brother doing anything without her that he chose to stay rather get grief about leaving. I understand not wanting your partner to be hanging at the bar every week or doing ALL of those once in a lifetime experiences that YOU always dreamed of, but come on.

I think you should go with the understanding that IF you're uncomfortable in any way, that he needs to take you home. Drive separately from the rest of your group and just go with it. He's already seen the show enough times - it would suck to have to leave, but I think you'd both rather see some of it, than nothing at all. I saw No Doubt at Irvine Meadows 2 weeks before I was due w/ #1. It was a long uphill walk to our seats but it was worth it!!! I did opt for the more expensive seats over the lawn - I didn't want to roll down the hill :)

I've been to the PRINCE show twice myself. A few things to note:

- Park in the Hollywood Park lot NOT the Forum. It might be a few steps father (although not by much), but you'll get in and out faster and it's $5 cheaper. Look for alternate routes/side streets in to the lot to avoid all the traffic going into the main lot.

- It gets VERY warm and sticky in there. Dress in the lightest, most comfortable clothes you have. And wear flats :)

- The bathroom lines are terribly long on the Colonade (upper) levels, but they do move pretty quickly. After the first weekend of shows, they put security guards at the men's so you can longer access the perfectly empty stalls in their bathroom. If there was ever a time to use the pregnancy card to jump the line, this is it!!!

- Load up on your bottles of water before you sit. Its and old venue and it's a tight squeeze trying to get around people.

- If you can handle it...don't leave early. He will do 3-4 encores. Our rule...the show isn't over until you see the VIPs sitting in the front sections leave.

Have fun and report back to us!

1 mom found this helpful

J.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

haha you SHOULD GO!! what a story that would be if you started labor at a Prince concert!

1 mom found this helpful

A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

Sure, be annoyed. But only slightly so and get yourself some tickets after you give birth and enjoy the show.

1 mom found this helpful

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

I think it's pretty selfish of him to go twice. Once? No. If you wanted, you really could've gone, but he knows you won't because of how you feel. I'd be pretty ticked.

And total bummer for you (and me...I don't get to see Prince either!) I'm sorry to hear it...plan something special for YOU that night after your sweet one is in bed. Rent a fav movie, order your own pizza, and eat it in bed...that's what I would do, I guess.

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

Yes I would be highly annoyed! Once....ok. Twice? That is just mean ;) I know he really isn't trying to rub it in but ouch. Here's what you could do. Smile sweetly and say ok dearie. The day before/day of hand over the list of things for your Saturday night alone that he needs to go get for you: Prince CDs or better yet concert DVD, ice cream, virgin daquiri mix, pizza what ever you want, and then invite a good girlfriend over to share in the Prince party. Listen to music, talk, eat etc.

He'll get the hint and you will have fun too. After baby is born, find a bitchin concert and send him the link and that you want payback tickets! Congrats on baby!

1 mom found this helpful

A.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I can totally relate to this post. I'd be annoyed too and then I'd tell my husband "More Prince tickets! That's awesome, I can't wait to see what you got me for Mother's Day!"
Really though, I hate being the nay-sayer so I'd probably just take it with a grain of salt, make some comments just so he knew I was happy for him but still annoyed so he knows he'd better have fun and make it worth while. AND wake up with our kid the next morning so I can sleep in.

H.G.

answers from Dallas on

I don't think ur being stupid. Id be mad too. He knows u wanta go why doesn't he wait? Im not a big sports person but it really ticked me off when my husband went to the playoff game at a sports bar and I got to stay with the baby! Hello! I don't really have a solution but I would be upset too!

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D.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

No you are not crazy to feel the way you are feeling. It is just plain disappointment. It is hard to feel happy for someone, when you are at a loss. So just accept that this sucks for you and you can not do anything about it. However, you can tell him how you feel. Not that you are asking him not to go, but you want him to appreciate how hard this is on you. He's your best friend, right, so you should be able to share with him. Maybe he can offer you something in the future, after the baby is born, to make it up and give you something else to look forward to (like a day without the kids - even if you have to stop by for feedings).

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

He's going twice to a show you'd like to attend in a month?

Unless you have money to burn, I'd say he's being selfish.

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

it might be a 'bit' stupid but I totally understand. I don't see why he had to go twice, that might be a 'bit' selfish. Are there any shows later past the time you have your baby since you are so close? like in 3 weeks? Who does your husband keep going with? 4 tickets? I would either 'try' to go if you want to that badly BUT keep in mind you could go into labor at Prince! ha ha Truly, I cannot believe he would even consider going to a concert with his wife so close to giving birth. What if you call him and he doesn't hear the phone and doesn't know that you are in labor?? No way.

I saw Prince once and he was not so good oddly enough. He played songs that he 'wrote' not that he sang so I was not as happy as if I was hearing 1999, Little Red Corvet, or Darling Nicky! ha ha

I would "ask" him not to go but if he really wanted to, I would let him. If he does selfish things often, I would "tell" him I didn't want him to go! :o)

L.!.

answers from Austin on

Pick your battles. Don't start a fight over something petty right before the baby comes. Let's face it, the next 12-13 weeks are going to be h*** o* you both. Sleep deprivation, lots of adjustments, more baby "chores" than play. Let it go. You need him to start at the 'feel good daddy place' instead of starting off at the defensive "this sucks, I'm missing out on everything" mentality.

I went to a concert when I was late in my pregnancy. Let's just say that the noise and sound vibrations stressed out the baby. Lots of kicks and movements--which made me really nervous. You might not want to put yourself in that environment at 39 weeks, even if you had a ticket for yourself. Just saying.

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

Of course you can be annoyed! You're disappointed about not being able to attend something that you really want to attend because of your current physical condition. You're annoyed that your husband doesn't have the same restrictions to worry about. You could gently remind him that being so late in your pregnancy, you want him to make sure that even though he's planning this second concert he's still going to be available at a moments notice in case you go into labor. Maybe part of your emotions are that you're here in your last few days waiting for the baby, feeling uncomfortable, maybe even a bit anxious and just tired of being pregnant, tired physically and you're already acting like a mother... but he's behaving as if he doesn't have kids yet or if he has a 9-month pregnant wife about to give birth.

So maybe it wouldn't be unfair that since he's already been to the concert, you ask him to sell his tickets for the next one. Maybe that sounds a little Controlling Wifey but I think if you ask him nicely and explain how you're feeling and present it as a request instead of a demand, he might agree without hard feelings.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

A tad greedy isn't he?
I mean he already went.
Why does he have to keep going???
AND YOU ARE 39 WEEKS PREGNANT!
Geez.
Selfish dude, ain't he?
And WHY the hell does he have to buy another FOUR tickets???

I hope he plans to be there at the hospital when you go into labor.

I would be irked.
The concert, is so important.
Your condition and upcoming birth... where is he in all this????

DO NOT go to the concert.
You are 39 weeks preggers.
Stay home.

I would, not dice words with him
If that were my Hubby, well.... my daughter was born 1 week EARLY.
Just sayin'

You need HELP at home! You are 39 weeks preggers and with a 2 year old at home.
Um, how does he expect you to drive yourself to the hospital and then manage your 2 year old????

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