Should I Break up or Keep Working on It

Do you know how he feels? Is he willing to try to work on things and see if they can get better? What is it that you are fighting about? Because it seems like it may be that you see things one way and he perceives them differently. I would agree that couples counseling would be the next step, so you can both work on communication skills and learn how to resolve differences without resorting to fighting.

Have you tried couples counseling yet? If he won't go, maybe you can go to counseling on your own. A good counselor should be able to guide each of you how to talk to each other about "hot button" issues without these issues automatically turning into a fight. He/She should also be able to help each of you to be able to see each other's perspective so that each of you can see what is truly going on and perhaps be more supportive of each other.

Even the best of relationships take work. Good communication and perspective taking is a skill that most people have to concertedly make an effort to try to learn; we aren't born with it. I would say to try to give counseling a shot before throwing in the towel. If, after counseling, the two of you feel that you are not meant to be with each other, then at least you have a better shot of being able to be co-parents of your daughter.

I hope that you are able to find the answers that you need.

if you have to ask this question its time to leave

Have you tried counseling to try to get at the reason why you are fighting every day? It would be worth it to figure that out before throwing in the towel. I didn't want my little girl growing up in a house where we fought all the time and he was so disrespectful to me. We did the counseling but he didn't take heed of the advice plus he started to get violent which is why we finally left.

it took the first 8 yrs. of our relationship to finally get better. I wanted to leave plenty of times but I love him to much. He doesnt cheat and isn't abusive we just argued all the time. What helped is that I got a job on swing shift, dropped of baby a few hours before he got off work so he would pick her up and have the evening with her til I got home. By that time he and baby would be setteled, we were all tired when I got home, and go to bed.(less time for arguing). Plus side, extra income and time away from each other, and baby time for daddy. We agreed it was not healthy to argue in front of our (4) children. we've been together 20 yrs. and now we just have "discussions". good luck

Couples counseling is a great idea but if he won't go that could be a problem. You two can sit down and make a list of the things you both value in your relationship and what's important to you as a couple. This could help you both see where you are right now vs where you want to be.

Stop the fighting. It takes two to fight. Stop the complaining - it isn't working. Be the "girlfriend" he used to enjoy being around. Be the wife that would make all of his friends jealous. These are all the kinds of things that Dr. Laura Schlessinger will tell you about in her book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." You might start reading it and think, "Why do I have to make all the changes?" The answer is because that is what you can control. The amazing thing is that once you change your approach, slowly he will become a different person! (Unless of course he is has major psychological problems, but I doubt that is the kind of guy you would have fallen in love with). It is worth a try because you still love him and you have a daughter who will be affected for good or for bad, depending on what happens to your marriage, home, finances, etc.

Counseling may help. If you can't afford it and you or your husband are working, your employee assisance program may offer free counseling. My husband and I did that--free when he contacted the EAP. They gave us the name of the counseling center that was approved through them. I don't know how many sessions you get free because we didn't need too many.