I'm wondering what you would say, if anything, to your kids about a family members big gift from the bunny. My five year old nephew is getting a 350 dollar ride on toy for easter. His parents are going through a divorce, so I think this is part of the reason for the big gift. My son is the same age, and they play together constantly as well as have activities together. We will be there for Easter (since they are living with my mother and father in law right now) and the Easter Bunnys fantastic present will be a topic. My kids are getting the usual nice chocolate and dollar bin prizes from Target in their basket. I'm wondering if I should offer some sort of explanation to my kids as to why the Bunny lavished my nephew or just shrug and say nothing? I'm probably putting too much thought into this, I just like to feel prepared!
Thanks for the responses, they have been helpful. I want to clarify that I am not concerned about jealousy. My kids already have ride on toys, which, apparently some find obnoxious. I am happy for my nephew, and I think he should be given something extra since his parents are screwing up his life. My only beef was with crediting the bunny, since it makes it seem as though the bunny skipped our house. Kids don't know monetary values, but they know the difference between chocolate and "A NEEEEWWWW CAAAARRR!!!" LOL. My kids are 2 and 5, and I won't tell them there's no bunny over this. I may be wrong, but we got them hermit crabs for there rooms in additon to their baskets. It was not expensive, and can help them to learn to care for something and be responsible. Plus it's something special. Happy Easter!
I understand how you feel, I worry about such things also. What a ridiculous easter gift! Sheesh!
I agree with Julie.
At three I don't think kids get monetary values of gifts the same way they do as older children. I'd let it go.
I would reserve comment unless your son really says anything. Then you can say something like "the Easter Bunny knew Johnny was having a tough time right now so he got him something extra special that normally wouldn't be an Easter present".
If they are giving it while you are there, any way you could ask them to do it before your arrive?
Oh my! I've been a little shocked at the things I've read lately regarding extravagant Easter bunny gifts! I wouldn't say anything -if asked by your son, just say that the Easter Bunny must have given him something super special since his mommy and daddy are divorcing or something along those lines. We always just do the standard bunny basket and some we know do crazy things, but it's never been an issue.
don't say anything....
but honestly, I think it's freakin' ridiculous!
That is stupid for them to give a gift like that for Easter, I personally would ask your them to give the gift to your nephew before you get there. I understand your son will still see it etc but he doesn't need to see his cousin get this huge extravagent (and in my opinion, stupid) gift. Totally silly to buy ride on cars BTW. Get kids bikes to do ACTUAL exercise and if you have so much extra money put it in a fund for the child when he's older. I do not have the money for this kind of thing but I wouldn't buy a ride on toy if I did.
I'm a bit suprised by most of the responses you have recieved...mine may not go over well!! I really don't think it's any one business what they give their child as a gift!! If another child in the family, or friend of the family recieves a gift that we are not capable of giving, well, sad to say, that is life!! Our kids will learn that some people get more then others, and you are a smart parent, if you prepare your children for the real world. I believe that we try to protect them too much from life...at least the things that they will have to learn to live with. We want everything to be "fair"...well, life is NOT fair, and we do them an injustice, by making them believe that it should be. I can appreciate that we don't want to see our children hurt, or sad by not having the same things other kids have. I have a step son, that recieves more lavish gifts from his mother, then what I am able to give my daughter. We talk about it, and I believe that she understands....she is 16, and does not have that "entitiled" attitude that most teenagers have. Another thing to think about....how about telling them the truth about the Easter Bunny???? And Santa Clause for that matter....would take you off the hook! I am sure my response is not going to be well recieved, but I get tired of people thinking that everything has to be equal...for everyone...that is just not reality!
When my cousin was getting divorced from her x-husband my daughter was about 4 so she witnessed all of the gifts, the trips & then the big house their cousins got to move into p/t. There were times she would comment on whether or not her dad & i would ever divorce and if she would have that too. Now that we've been married a gazzillion yrs & she's 13 i think she realizes none of that stuff really matters. It may take time for your children to see it, but in time they will realize it. The one thing that concerned me though was that anytime my husband & i would argue about anything, even something silly, she would get so upset that we were were going to get divorced like her cousins parents. I agree that the gifts are just part of the the whole trying to out-do eachother scheme, i wouldn't even try to go into things unless they bring it up to you.
I wouldn't worry about it or address it until it actually becomes an issue. Your kids don't know the price of things yet, and may not understand that this toy is so much more expensive. Kids do notice things sometimes but deal with it then. My kids often ask me for presents, prizes, etc, to go out to eat, because my parents are well off and get them anything they want and sometimes take them out to eat. I am on disability and money is really tight, so I can't give them what my parents give them. I just tell them the truth, that I don't have money like their grandparents, I have explained why and they don't like it, but they live with it. As for the holiday gifts, well that is somehow different. They don't really question that at all. Even when my parents get them something better. I am not sure they always think the more expensive things are better anyway. And they really have never questioned why one child gets bigger or seemingly better gifts at holidays. They are only 3 and half and almost 6, so maybe as they get older I will need to explain more, but then they may come this understanding on their own. I would not worry too much about it, and just explain that that was his gift this year. We all get different gifts, and no one gift is any better than another and price does not make it better. I am sure your kids will have a great easter!
Hi, J.:
Had you thought about telling the parents of your nephew what a dilemma that this idea of theirs is causing for you.
Would you be able to do that?
Would you be able to suggest they invest that money into a college fund for their son instead of a big toy?
Just a thought.
Good luck.
D.
of course ridiculous. i often wonder if divorced parents don't realize they are bribing their kids out of guilt, or they do, and just think it's okay. no offense to your family. i would not mention it, if it comes up, just handle it with grace and be a good example. "yes, X got a super cool present from the Easter bunny this year didn't he? he's so lucky! i bet if you ask nicely sometime he will let you play with it, too!" keep it simple.
You don't mention how old your children are. If it were me, I wouldn't say anything unless asked. However, if my children were five or older, I'd prepare myself for questions about Mr. Bunny's activities later. Do you children know the scoop about him? You may find you'll need to let them in on the facts.
I would concentrate on how happy you are for the nephew that he gets the great toy...and not worry about it too much....you are thinking like an adult...not like a young child...it may not even OCCUR to your children to be jealous!!
I guess this is one reason that I never taught my children to believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus...I didn't have to worry about explaining why they didn't treat my children the same as they treated the kids next door. My children went along with the Bunny and Santa stories...they liked the basket of candy that the Bunny left (along with the flour paw prints that my ingenious hubby made that led to where the baskets were 'hidden") and the extra gift from "Santa" under the tree...but they knew that WE were really the ones behind it...and they knew the real reason for the holidays....Christs Birth, and His Resurrection.
Happy Easter to you and your family
I think the kids will be having so much fun, they won't even think to say anything. Us as parents tend to over think tp protect our children. Go to the party with an open mind. Have fun, and enjoy the smiles on all the kids faces.
I personally don't think it's appropriate to get big gifts like that for easter...we do simple little things in their baskets, hide eggs around the yard and give a tiny bit of sweets and that's it. BUT, i love Lynn M's answer...i think that's a great suggestion if you need something to say when/if your kids ask.
It's hard...really hard, when kids don't get somewhat equal gifts. We are grandparents raising grandchildren and live on SSDI, my BFF has a wonderful husband who makes over $100,000 a year. She can go to Walmart and buy all kinds of Gatorade, cereal bars, chips, fresh fruit and veggies for snacks, happy meals anytime they want, eat out every meal, etc.... It's very hard to explain to the kids why we can't afford nice food like that.
I would just tell your kids that the Easter Bunny didn't bring that part of the Easter gift but the mommy or daddy added it. Tell them the Easter Bunny brought the other stuff. If they don't have a regular basket gift then make one for them too, one that is just like your kids baskets.
i think everyone who responded hasn't gone through a divorce and seen a 5 year old upset by this....I don';t think its buying the kid, I think the parents probably feel depressed and possibly the 5 year old has been having a tough time and they want to make easter extra special this year, since it will be the last easter together possibly...if they were bribing him, it would be for no reason from them....I would say the same thing as someone below about how hes having a tough year.....if they ask....its probably a distraction for the parnts from all the heartache....they are hoping to see their son happy and not affected by their sittuation for the moment...I would concentrate more on how you can be supportive for a family going through turmoil than worrying about your kids being jealous.....I see your point though but honestly...your kids get 2 happy parents together I'm assuming...they're lucky...the kid probably lost his own bedroom, house, and has to split time with parents and live with grandparents ....so a ride on toy, is nothing compared to what hes lost!
I feel your pain - it's the same with families who have Santa give extravagent gifts. If you tell the kids you can't afford to buy them a big gift then they think that Santa or the Easter Bunny can get it for them instead. I explain to my daughter that Santa and the Easter Bunny don't and can't get really expensive gifts for kids and that the mummies and daddies must have helped out.
Good luck
I wouldn't say a thing, except maybe "look at the cool gift you get to play on when we visit him!" if my child asked about it. Friends of mine have already purchased a $400 bouncy house, a $300 play house, a build-a-bunny and several outfits for their daughters (all from the Easter Bunny). My son gets a book. *shrugs* Try to enjoy the party, and make sure you don't imbibe too much, or you might hop on and take a ride yourself :) Good luck.
