H.Q.
Ok hopefully nobody gets offended by what I say. I am pretty much up front and tell it like it is.
First off, should you feel guilty? Depends on if you are *really* doing something wrong.
Sounds like there are a lot of things lacking in your marriage. Trust and respect are two that I am reading here.
Your husband cheated on you in the past. You cheated to get back at him. You lost the trust when he deceived you. He obviously holds no respect for you or your marriage if he has cheated not once but we are maybe seeing another time here.
How? Why? Because if he is talking to women online and telling them he is divorced or separated then he is not being truthful to you, your marriage, himself and the other person. More deception there.
You too are talking to other men on the phone that you meet online. Some friendly, one person is on more than friendly terms.
Love - if you both loved eachother very much neither one of you would be on the phone with other people, possibly entertaining the thought of straying, etc. I cannot say that your marriage can be saved or cannot. I am not a marriage counsellor, etc. But by reading this I think that maybe the two of you need to work on the issues at hand.
What issues? Why would your husband be deceiving you, behind your back, calling women and telling them that he is not married? Maybe he doesn't want to be married anymore and this is his way of letting you know? Maybe he is not man enough to just come out and say it. Men do things like that. Leave little clues and expect women to piece it together and take the hint.
I can also speak from personal experience where my husband did the same thing. Met women online, chatted and then started with the phone calls. How did it all end - we are on friendly terms, have two children and one on the way. The one on the way happened before I found out. I will no doubt be filing for divorce and that is of my choosing. If I cannot fully trust someone to be upfront, not lie nor deceive then it's not for me.
It also has to do with respect. If they do it once the odds of them doing it again are even greater. If you are afraid because you have children - then that is no way to live.
I have six children, one on the way and I will glaldy hold my own, be dependent and say the heck with a lying, cheating, deceiving person. I have found it to be so much easier to be a 'single' parent and show my children that lying, cheating, deception and lack of respect get you nowhere. Also, why have to worry that the 'talking' might turn sexual and be exposed to STD's, etc. There is much more at risk and a much bigger picture.
But to feel guilty for talking on the phone to people you met online. No. If there are other feelings - be truthful to yourself. As far as your husband - if it were me I'd show him the door and say thanks but no thanks. You must protect YOU. You have three children that need you. You don't need things to progress and expose yourself to possible STD's which could be deadly.
Sorry to have rambled on and if I offended anyone in any way I am sorry for that as well.
Good luck!