Should I Go for #3??

I STILL SAY GO FOR IT!!!!! It's worth it and I think in the end if you didn't have number three, you'd always wonder. And once the baby is here, I bet you wouldn't have it any other way...
-C.

Yes, Yes and Yes. Big families are so much fun. We have two girls and two boys ages, 6, 4, 3 and 10 months and although it is chaotic, we love it and so do they!

Hi T.,

We are in the same situation - I have a 4 and a 2 year old also 21 months apart but mine are boys. Right now it is a choice for us too. But I feel having #3 now would me much easier than later. Siblings grow up together.

Hi T.,

You're a wise woman to be considering the possibilities before just jumping in based on emotions....baby hunger is a STRONG motivator, so I applaud you and your husband for considering everyone involved rather than just "going for it" and letting the chips fall where they may.

As others have already said, it can be great to grow a family! :) However, as others have also stated, it will add A LOT of work and by extension stress to your existing family life. There's no predicting what the new baby's personality, needs, etc. will be, and your 2 little ones now are pretty young to have to give way to another baby at this point (even if they would also enjoy having another sibling in some ways). I'd wait till your youngest was about 3 (or more even) before trying - research has shown that age 3 is a more ideal age for the existing child in a family for the parents to consider adding another. I know you had your first 2 closer and it has worked out fine for you, but that is no guarantee it would work out the same for having a 3rd...and the reality is that they will all be jockeying for your attention (with the baby being the "winner" by default, of course).

I get the sense you are stressing yourself out over this at least a bit (you said you're sooo tired of thinking about it). There's no rush! Relax and enjoy your husband and girls, and don't feel pressured (by friends/family OR yourself!) about deciding when to conceive again. If you wait another couple of years you will ALL be in an even better place to welcome, accept and sacrifice for a new and needy family member. :) Just my 2 cents....hope this helps.

Blessings,
S.

I was in the exact position you are in. I have two boys who are 4 and 2 years old. I really wanted to "try for a girl." I didn't feel like I was done. I convinced my husband and now I am 8 months pregnant with twin boys!!! It never even occured to me that this might happen! Four boys 4.5 years and younger is going to be crazy. Make sure you are prepared for whatever may happen.

I have 3 lil ones ages 6, 3, and 1 and I love it! The all love each other very much and I know we are done!
My oldest is a boy and the last two are girls. The only advice that I give to EVERYBODY that plans on having the third(or second, or fourth)...is WAIT until your 2nd is out of diapers!!!
That was the hardest part...potty training while pregnant...NOT fun! It saves you money and alot of stress! And I had to do it everytime I was pregnant....uhg!
Enjoy your 2 little ones and just wait a little longer...after you have two you get brave and think it's easy...but THREE is a CROWD! It is a big change and I think if you have your 3rd any sooner will be too much.
just wait a little bit longer!
Good Luck!

T., I think you should go for it. I am a mother of 3 (2 girls 7 and 4 and 1 boy 22 months) and have a full time job. I won't lie to you and tell you that the the third is more work but then it is also a blessing and I do feel complete now. When we found out that I was pregnant we were so happy because it was a choice, but then when we found out it was a boy, WOW! My husband hugged the nurse when she told us. I am so happy we have him. Good luck to you!
Happy mom of 3

I, too, was really wanting a 3rd child & after losing a 3rd surprise baby, we decided we were done. There were 2 big factors for us: space in our house, or lack there of & of course, money. Our older son goes to our small parish school as will his younger brother but sending a 3rd there, even if hubby got a new job w/a bigger salary, would be a stretch. All around, #3 would put us in financial strain. So, you may want to factor that into your decision. Plus I now see how our #2 would react having a sibling 27 months younger....my sister has a baby girl who is 10 months & while my younger son adores & dotes on her, he gets bothered when I show her any affection & does not really like it when she's on my lap instead of him. Think how the stress of #3 will effect your girls. I asked our 7 yr old how he would feel about another baby & he hestitated when he said yes. So, I know your oldest is just 3 but ask her casually one day how she'd feel about another baby & sharing you even more. I say, let #2 be the baby for a while. Enjoy your 2 girls. Try for a bigger gap between #2 & #3 to give your body & mind a break. Do you really want 2 kids in diapers? I bet your second is close to or already sleeping thru the night so do you want to do the sleep deprivation thing again kowing you'll have to deal w/3 kids the next day? Hope this helps & good luck!

**ME TOO
I had 2 girls 15 months apart and it was very stressful. We decided to go for #3 because we wanted our boy too...we got another girl. I cried at the ultrasound. But she has turned out to be the best baby I ever had. Good, sleeps all night, well mannered, NEVER cried and still doesn't at age three, ZERO stress from this kid, it's bizarre. She has completed me. My hubby agrees.But waiting until the first 2 were OLDER was the key. Having a bunch of little ones is far too stressful. Remember it this way...right now the playing field is even...2 kids...2 parents...after #3 you are seriously out numbered! LOL Good luck whatever you decide. A child is a blessing. I am thinking about #4 maybe. But on my more sane days...I know it sounds a litle crazy.

I say go for it. We have two boys who are going to be 4 and 2 by the end of the month and now I am 3 months pregnant with my third. We are praying for a little girl, but no matter what the outcome we will love the baby either way. If finances are not a problem and both you and your husband have no negative thoughts about another child I say that a third baby will only bring more love into the family. Good luck with which ever decision you make.

My husband and I were on the fence about #3 for about a year. We decided to go for it, and I am due in June. Although we were trying, initially I was full of mixed emotions when it worked out. However,now, in my second trimester, I cannot imagine not having gone for it. All of the thigs that made us apprehensive are out the door. I am not worried about the money factor, our house being too small, paying for three college educations, staying out of work longer myself, the fabulous vacations we may not go on...it just feels really right. Good luck!

Go for three. I have three awesome boys who are now 18 20 and 22. I have raised the three of them by myself for just about 16 years. They are all a blessing that I couldn't do without. I thought a few time I would rip my hair out, but for the most part I wouldn't change a thing.

As long as you and your husband agree to have another child, I would go for it. I have 4 kids - though spaced nine years between #2 and #3 (fertility problems). Closer spacing will actually make it easier for you. Good Luck!!

I have three children, two boys (21 months apart) and a daughter (three years later). While I absolutely adore my daughter, it was a very difficult transition from two to three. My husband and I found we could no longer each take a child when they were both crying or put both kids on our lap when we were reading a book. I hear this a lot from those who took the plunge from two to three, but I'm not sure I'd have it any other way.

My husband and I have a 5 year old boy and 3 year old girl (22 months apart) and were faced with the same choice to have a third or not. We too, didn't feel so complete however totally have our plate full with the two of them. Well, I am pregnant now about 15 weeks along and we are thrilled. The baby and my daughter will be almost 4 years apart. I would've liked them about 3-3 1/2 years apart, but I'm glad to have had a break a little and out of diapers for a good while before this baby comes. The kids are very excited and I think it is good that we waited awhile. It feels good to know that this is the last and so I am relishing every moment of my pregnancy. Go for it!

Hi T.,

Truly, if you feel that your family is not complete yet. I say that you should totally go for #3. I wish you well. you know what they say, "Three is a charm." Maybe #3 will be the prince charming that you are expecting. Good luck

Hey, T.! Such a big decision! My husband and I faced the same question a few years back. After trying and failing to conceive for what seemed like forever (and three miscarriages) we finally had our beautiful angel....and less than one year later had another little angel! We had two babies in less than a years time. We were never really sure how many kids we wanted but with two so small and being in our 30's, we decided to call it good and sent hubs to see the Dr. My reasoning was that with two children so small I would have to wait to have more kids and by then I would be in my late 30's. And I also did not want an odd number of children. So having two more children in my later 30's didn't sound so appealing. Anyway, that is our story. It is such a hard, personal choice that no one can make for you, no well meaning parents, neighbors, freinds, etc. Is your age a factor? Do you mind waiting until your current children are older? Do you feel like your family is lacking "someone"? Be patient and honest with yourselves and eachother and hopefully the answer will come to you.
Good Luck,
J.

I have a step-son who is 12, and together my husband and I have a 4.5 year old son, twin boys who just turned 3, and a daughter who is 16 months. The first 2 pregnancies were more or less planned (although the possibility of twins was a shock to say the least), and the last one was a big surprise. My oldest and the twins are 18 mos apart (a difficult age difference especially at the beginning), and the twins and our daughter are 21 months apart (much easier). Now that they are getting older it continues to get easier. I just finished reading a fantastic book called Table For Eight: Raising a Large Family in a Small Family World, by Meagan Francis. I highly recommend this book if you are considering #3 or more. And I highly recommend it if you & your husband are already out-numbered in your home. It covers everything from how to organize your home to accomodate a larger family (since three plus kids is considered to be "large" in this society), managing the laundry, grocery shopping and planning meals, discipline, etc. This will definately be a sort of manual for me as the kids reach different stages. Overall I LOVE having a large family. The kids have a wonderful relationship, and it gives me peace as a mom to know that when I am long gone they will have each other too. Best of luck!

I am a mother of 3 children and I say go for it. Three was actually easier than two. I have 15 and 12 year old daughters and a 7 year old boy. I was forty when I had my boy and I am so glad we did it. I would have been happy with three girls but having one more guy in the house is pretty cool. (I was kind of hoping for a third girl). My children are a bit older than your children so let me tell you how fast time flies. Very fast! I would have had one more if I had not been forty when I had my last child. Go for it and enjoy every minute of them. My third child is a true blessing, I was more relaxed and you really do get great at being a mom. I feel I am a better mom to my older kids because of my youngest child.
Cheers,
L.

It sounds like you have already decided. A choice is only stressful when you let it be. Follow your heart.

I choose one in each hand, and on vacations one adult per child...

If the Lord choose you & your husband to have a baby then it shall be. Stop stressing.....

Hi T.,
I would make some marriage time first and take a break. And if and when you know that there wouldn't be any strain on your marriage,Go for it~! Make sure your husband is on the same page with you. Nothing is worst than a man feeling like he was forced into a unwanted situation. Children need to know from the begining they were wanted and not an after thought. One more thing...The feeling of family completeness is just that a feeling. Someone told me one time, feelings are neither right nor wrong they just are and its ok. You'll know when the time is right or by some miracle it will be a surprise~! Many blessings on your family.

T., go for it! Don't let society or anyone else dictate how many children you desire. Go w/ what your heart says! If God allows you to conceive again...consider it a blessing. We've forgotten that children are a reward and a heritage. I think we've put too many stigmas around having children (and Heaven forbid if we think of having more than 2)! People say they're work, they're expensive, da.da.da! Love and affection is what they need. Yes its work and yes it requires some financial planning, but you don't have to be rich to give your kids YOUR best! I was just talking to a coworker yesterday who has 3 and really wants 5, but the husband just won't agree to any more. She is so positive about her 3 and believe that having more wouldn't be any more difficult than two! I'm pregnant w/ my second and really hope that I can have two more!

You already have your answer if you don't feel complete yet. What is the problem anyway with people having large families. I had 4 kids with about 2 years separating each of them and then waited 9 yrs and felt the stirrings of wanting more when I was 40. I ached every time I held someones baby. I knew I was not done. I also knew that having a child that far apart would be like raising an only child so I had two more when I was 41 and 43. Both healthy strapping boys that have been such a blessing to us in our older years. They are now 14 and 16 and are active in Scouts and Church and I am continually told what great kids they are. They are best of friends and I can't imagine our lives with out them. My other 4 are married and having their own kids and it was wonderful to have them all home at Christmas. I love large families. They are all so supportive to each other and have helped each other many times through the hard times of their lives. Good luck Elaine from Galt... p.s. My kids are: a 31 yr. old daughter with a two yr. old daughter and a 6 mo. old son, a 29 yr. old daughter with a 2 mo. old daughter, a 27 yr. old son, his wife expecting in June, and a 25 yr. old daughter thinking about having a child too. so that is 3 daughters, 3 sons in laws, 3 sons, 1 daughter in law, one grandson and two grand daughters. We are also blessed with my husbands daughter that is 37 and her husband and her boys give us a total of 5 grand kids. I have tried to be an at home mother as much as possible and live a simple life to compensate for lower income. It is fun to thrift shop and find deals at thrift stores and sites like craigslist.org I also sell and resell things on craigslist as does my 31 yr. old daughter. It gives us a little extra income. Babysitting in our homes have also been a great way to be a mom at home and make some income.

T., as the old saying goes, 'two's company and three's a crowd'! Seriously, the added cost of each additional child should really be considered. You'll need a larger car, when you travel and the kids are older, you'll need 2 rooms instead of 1, etc. Most importantly, if you are willing to think beyond yourself, our planet is over-populated, and our children are facing an uncertain future. I think we should limit ourselves to 2 children for that very reason. I'm the oldest of 3 daughters, and I have 2 daughters myself. There are times when I look longingly at babies and wonder if I should have had a 3rd, but the reasons NOT to far outweighed the desire to have another child. Good luck whatever you decide to do - I'm just voicing my opinion.

Hi T.. Talk to your husband and don't do the thinking alone! I was in the exact same boat as you (down to the age difference between my two girls).When the second child came, there was tremendous strain on our marriage already and has made this past year or so very, very challenging. Recently I got really tired of spinning my wheels over this topic myself and talked to my husband about it. He reinforced that he only wanted 2, seeing the strain having 2 kids has put on us, and I finally got the chance to tell him my dilemma - that I've always wanted more than 2 kids. We finally got a chance to talk about it, instead of trying to find the yes or no answer to the question. To make a long story short, we talked about this very difficult problem and don't have an answer yet, but we've set some goals and a time frame to revisit the 3rd child ideal. At least for now, I can stop thinking about the "should we or shouldn't we" question and can focus on what we need to see happen before we can both feel good about making decision. Might help...good luck, it's a tough thing.

Hi T.:

You actually answered your own question. If you know that a third child might, possibly, cause stress to your marriage, why would you risk it? Also, you know that there is no guarantee that your third child will be a boy. I would suggest that you love the two adorable girls that you have and give thanks that they are healthy, happy and bring so much joy to your home. Good luck.

R.

I felt the same way. I had 2 kids already a boy and a girl and I just didnt feel complete yet. We decided to go for #3 and got pregnant in two weeks! And I would not change that decision for the world. Even now I am a single mom of 3 and it was still the best decision I made. If you know you want that 3rd baby then you should go for it. I would definitely say make sure you are financially secure enough to do it!! I think its best to have them closer together as well. My children are 1, 4, and 6. My oldest are 22 months apart. I almost wish that my 3rd was closer in age because its so fun having them that close together. Then you dont feel like you have to start alll over again from ground zero!!! Do what your heart tells you to do. If you dont feel complete I am betting that you have a baby that is waiting for you already!

I, too, have two children, a boy 12 and a girl 11. They are 15 months apart and it was extremely hard initially. Eventually we remodeled our little two bedroom home into a four bedroom home. This put a financial strain on us with the new mortgage but now we are surviving well. It would've been more appropriate to have another child when my children were younger but life happened and made it a very difficult time to do so. Now, we too, are wondering whether or not to have another. I feel incomplete as well. I always wanted four but now I feel that I'm getting too old to take too many chances with a healthy child. I'm 39 and now that we are more settled I would like to have another. A good friend of mine said, "Do it, because you will always wonder if you don't and you will never regret it if you do." Still, we struggle with the decision on a weekly basis.

Why don't you just adopt a boy and make it easier on your body!!! That way you will be sure that it will be a BOY... because you can end up with 3 girls and if you are happy with 3 girl then get an other girl!!! Also that way you can also give an orphan child a chance to have a wonderful family life!!! And you can also ask for a toddler and skip the sleepless nights and less strain on mariage... that is just my 2 cents... Love, G.. :0)
P.S. I have 2 BOYS and wan a girl... but this is my plan.... I am not going though an other pregnancy again, my body is tired and worn out!!!

I have 3 little boys, ages 5, 3 1/2, and 15 months. We always wanted 3, but honestly hoped for a girl. We are over not having a girl and love having 3 boys. Like you, our first 2 are 20 1/2 months apart. They are so close, and are instant buddies and playmates. They adore the baby, and it is very cute. Okay, here is where it gets ugly. You will be very busy! Alot of people told us that the 3rd baby just moves in. For us, we were exhausted and the 3rd threw a wrench in our routine. Since the two older boys are on the same schedule with one nap a day, whole milk....etc, the baby's schedule interupted the entire day. We are outnumbered and play zone defense. Honestly, it is fun and we don't regret it. I say "Go for it!" The house is real loud. I probably wouldn't wait too long to have #3. Try everything that you could to have a boy. It will be alot of fun and boys are loud! I do have to admit the little boys love their mothers! Good luck!