Should I Have to Pay for This?

If I were the lady I would not expect you to pay.

First of all, I wouldn't have a glass lamp in the bathroom. Secondly, if a child breaks something of mine that is fragile that's my fault for having within their reach. Lastly, I'm not on to put a strain on a relationship (business or otherwise) over something as ridiculous as a lamp. The last part I have no comment on because that's just kooky. What 3 year-old does that.

No way.

If my sitter told me that, I'd find another one ASAP. Though it's got to be hard with you having 3 little ones under 4. Here finding daycare for anyone under 2 is almost impossible!

I think she sounds a little off her rocker. Communication is the key to a successful babysitter situation, and it sounds like she failed horrible at it.

I wrote that stuff off on my taxes, they are part of the wear and tear I get to claim. There are so many things that come off it's crazy. She does have that ability but again, why is there a lamp in the bathroom? Was it naptime and the overhead light too bright? Is her bathroom light broken?

I would insist on knowing. Then if I could afford it I would pay for it tood but I'd be really happy if she offered to pay half for not having it out of reach.

Three year old children are still top heavy but not as bad as a toddler or 2 year old. They are still inclined to be running into things and knocking things over. That's why they have different guidelines for each age group and class.

Are you going to switch care providers?

If not, then pay.

It's a ransom, immoral, unfair, illegal...whatever. I agree.

But do you want to piss of the woman who has 8 hours a day alone with your kids?

When our nanny asked for a job reference when she still had a month or so to go in her contract, we immediately and enthusiastically said yes for the same reasoning.

It depends on whether or not you are determined to teach your children to be responsible adults. I wanted my kids to be responsibile adults so I paid when they broke something and I made it a teaching moment.

If my kids knocked over a display of cans in a grocery store (pushing a grocery cart and couldn't see where they were going) they and I picked up the cans even if the grocery store said, "Don't worry about it. We'll take care of it."

If my kids opened a box they weren't supposed to, I paid for it and made it a teaching moment.

If my kids went to a neighbor's home and broke a lamp, my kids paid for it and I made it a teaching moment.

I paid for lots of stuff they broke that I probably didn't have to. BUT today my kids are good, upstanding, honest responsible adults teaching their kids to be just like their moms and dads. I'm proud of them.

Earlier today some mom wrote that she had had it with her 21 year old son. He wouldn't work, wouldn't help around the house, etc. She was asking about throwing him out of the house. The time to teach her son would have been at 21 months, not 21 years. YES, I'll pay for the lamp because I wouldn't want any of my children to be still at home and me wondering if I should throw them out because of their lack of responsibility and respect for the property of others.

And for the lady's supposed comment, "has just been determined to break something of hers for some time now ". Any one here had a hard day with a three year old and may have said something you may not have really meant at the end of "one of those days"? I sure have.

Try walking a mile in her shoes. Be a little understanding and a little more forgiving.

Good luck to you and yours.

well good for him he was committed and followed through!

Seriously who says a kid is determined to break something. kid's dont thinkthat far in advance
Her expense not yours.

Nope, not in my eyes. If that is the bathroom that her 'charges' use, it should be free and clear of breakable items. However, if you refuse, I would kind of wonder about the treatment that my son would be receiving from here on out. Her comment about your son being 'determined to break something' is a bit of a flag to me.

If she really said that to you "Your son has been determined to break something of mine" You need to change Day Care. Her expectation and interpretation of a 3 year olds actions is way off. I don't think you should have to pay for the lamp. I think you should expect a much safer environment for your child.

No, you should not be expected to pay for this. Anyone who deals with preschoolers knows that sometimes children break things. Valuable, breakable things should be kept out of kids' reach for this reason. The fact that she now claims that your preschooler is determined to break her things concerns me, to be honest. Doesn't it seem like she really doesn't understand child development all that well? It may be time to start looking for a new provider who understands and appreciates children a bit more... :-/

Your son "has been determined to break something of hers for some time now"? Is this a good working relationship?

No, I don't think you should have to pay for it. Like you said, why was a glass lamp accessible to your child in a daycare?
On a side note, I would also be a little bit concerned about your childcare providers attitude toward your child if she views him as being "determined to break something of hers." Do you think this is accurate? What does this even mean?
Good luck-I hope you get this figured out! :)

I would be extremely concerned that she feels your child is "determined to break something". To me, that says there are issues between her and your son, and how do you know how she is REALLY treating him when you are not there?
I couldn't live with myself if I thought my children were being treated in a way that would change who they were turning out to be as people. This is a situation where what you can afford, and whether they have been there all their lives is irrelevant. These are your CHILDREN. Their health, wellness, and safety are first, and I would pull them out immediately. There are daycares everywhere. Do not put your children with someone who may be mistreating them, even if its just with harsh words, or crappy punishments. Just because you don't think she hits them, does not mean she isn't being abusive in some emotional way.
Pay her for the dang lamp, and find a new daycare. ASAP.

Dad brings up a good point but legally you are not responsible for the lamp. She is darn lucky your child didn't cut themselves on the glass.

I would look for a new provider. I would never let anyone watch my kids who doesn't take responsibility for accidents under their watch.

I don't care where my child is, if they break something I would feel responsible. So yes, if the daycare provider asked I would pay for it.

In my opinion your son could have easily broken a lamp at your grandmothers house...I bet you'd feel responsible then. Or even if he were at a store. Even though a store could write it off as the cost of business wouldn't you feel responsible.

My mom ran a daycare and a little boy broke one of her lamps. My mom did not ask the parent to pay for it but you better believe the parent made her son bring over his piggy bank full of money. He was a tad bit older than your son, but the mom insisted her son had a lesson to learn. I remember for years my mom had the baggie full of change in the cupboard and never used it (as the mom insisted she take it).

(Wanted to add that although I would pay...I do agree with others about maybe its time to look for another provider.)

3kidsin3years: I know I'm against the majority here. But I guess I don't see the difference. What if he was in school on school property where things are expected to break and he breaks say a window. Would you feel responsible then? What if he was on school property and hit a baseball into a neighboring house, would you feel responsible then? I guess I just feel that if my son/daughter broke something no matter where it be, I would feel responsible is all whether it was an accident, the person didn't have it in a appropriate spot or so on.

Funny thing is you "can't" afford anyone else to babysit yet you think just because she runs a "home day care" she should cover the cost of an item broken by your son. Maybe she should start charging more...guess that's why day cares do now.

(Oh and please forgive me I'm coming from the sensitivity and experience of a mom that ran a daycare for 20+ years and the hardships it does take on a home & person. My mom loved it but one of the main reasons she got out of it was because it tore up her house. I guess that is why I feel strongly against the majority here)

I don't think you should have to pay for it. It is a business expense for her and she should be happy your son was not cut by the broken glass. That said - it might be a touchy thing to deal with since you need her to continue caring for your kids.

No.. you shouldnt have to pay when your small child breaks something. but if your 10 year old who should know better breaks something you might be resonsible..

but she runs a day care.. glass should be out of the reach of little ones..

to keep the peace I would pay..

I don't like the analogy about a kid breaking something at grandma's being the same as breaking something at daycare. if that is logical then it is also logical to say every jumpy/bounce house chucky cheese place should have lots of glass sculpture art stuff around on low tables. not a good idea.

If you are choosing to have an inhome daycare, you need to WATCH those kids around breakables and if you aren't watching then don't cry when it gets broke. the only way I see that this might be DS fault is if she had the lamp high up on a shelf somehow and he deliberately climbed up on top of stuff to get it. again, she needs to be responsible for watching him.

yes i would pay, but only if i didin't have someone else lined up really quickly that coudl watch them.

did your son say he did it??? could it have been someone else? did he say what happened.

sorry...but a glass lamp in the bathroom....in full reach of a 3yo? How did she pass her licensing inspection? Just curious....

NO, I don't think you're responsible for the damages. But, from a courtesy standpoint, I would have been offering to pay for it. Doesn't matter whether it's your childcare provider or a friend/neighbor....I still would have immediately offered to cover the loss. :)

I would actually be a little upset that a glass lamp which could potentially get broken and HURT a child was left somewhere they frequent (i.e the bathroom). That sounds like a safety issue to me. Maybe point that out to her!

While I do believe in teaching kids to respect property and not touch things, you are talking about a daycare environment where accidents happen. Better to be safe than sorry when you have multiple little ones around.

I would not feel responsible in any way. Common sense tells me that anything I do not want damaged or broken should be far far away from the children's grasp. In addition, it may honestly be that your children's time is up there and this is just one of many signs that may have been missed already.

I guess I am wondering your opinion of this provider in general. Is she kind and loving towards your children? Do they love her? Do you? If she is a gem, the cost of the lamp is a no-brainer, I'd just pay it. It's a one time thing, unless she's asking you to pay for things every other week, why ruffle feathers? It takes a special person to be able to run a loving home daycare, that has to be a pretty challenging job.

On the other hand, if she is grumpy, and sounds like she has a negative attitude towards your 3 year old, I would be leery. The safety of small children should be higher on her list of concerns than the cost of her lamp. I'd probably still pay it, but then start my search in earnest for a new provider. What actually happened? Is her story different from your child's story? What does she mean your 3 year old has been determined to break something for a long time? Is it like him to make attempts to break things when he gets angry? If this was an accident, could she have been more understanding? If she is sure it was intentional and something has been brewing for some time now, why hadn't she come to you with her concerns?

Really you think you shouldn't pay. Yes I would definately pay. Do you really want your daycare lady to feel like you are treating her unfairly? She does watch your kids all day...and if you are going to be generous with anyone...it should start with they person who cares for your kids day in and day out. Daycare provides are paid a FRACTION of their worth. No questions asked I would pay - your son broke it. Pay up!

I don't think so. And I also wonder why there is a glass lamp in the bathroom. She should have known better than to leave it where kids can get to it. You're lucky your LO didn't get cut.

And what does she mean she doesn't make enough to write it off? That doesn't make sense to me, but I'm definitely not a tax person so I'm probably missing something.

Yes-the lamp is decorative, not something that enables her to do business. You are right, however, about your child not having access to anything breakable-he could have been seriously injured.

I'm no expert... but I wouldn't think you would have to pay for this. Of course, if you like the day care provider and want to keep your kids there, you might have to pay just to keep the relationship positive. However, if she's telling you she doesn't make enough to write it off, then she's probably not a registered daycare. Were you already aware of that? If not, it would be a huge red flag to me that she's doing this under the table (if I didn't already know).

I don't believe so. I agree with you, I think it would be a business expense.

There are a few ladies on here that run in-home daycares. I hope they can offer advice from their perspective!!

You make valid points - the problem not being brought to your attention, and fragile lamp where your son could get it.

If it were me in the same situation, I might offer to pay for half of the lamp. It is a risk running a day care in your home - things are bound to get broken and you need to accept (if not expect) it when it happens. Now, it's not okay that your son broke the lamp, but to have fragile things like that out is a risk and a bad decision on her part.

I had a caregiver tell me once that she left her things out in order to TEACH kids that there are somethings that they are not allowed to touch - She said it was rare that something got broken. She didn't keep the meaningful stuff in kids' reach, but she thought a good learning point of a home day care was that there are things in a home that shouldn't be touched...i.e. christmas tree decorations (some parents only decorate the top 2/3 of tree), dog bowls, etc. Teachable moments! :-)

Nope. That's the risk she takes with home daycare. If anything, you should be on her. What if your son was injured? He should not have access to things that can hurt him--it's called child-proofing!

While I agree maybe she shouldn't have this in her bathroom and her statement about your child being determined to break something is rediculous....this is still our homes and many things that are daycare safe get broken as well, sometimes on purpose by certain children, and are not replaceable, etc.

I do not like the expectation you claim that things WILL get damaged here versus your relatives home or friends home. The attitude is not right. I expect manners and good behavior from all of my client children just as I did from my own child when she was ANYWHERE at a young age. There is not a different expectation that it's ok to have things break at my HOME than anywhere else just because I do child care here. I am offended by this blanket statement.

I get a lot of things on grants and would never be able to buy them again for the kids if they were destroyed. I even have it in my policies that parents are responsible to replace many items if their child breaks it , like my televisions, a window, etc.

Just because I run a licensed home daycare, my home is not a free for all to break things. Having said that, it does not sound like this was an appropriate item in a daycare used room. But I put vases of fresh flowers in my kitchen and on my dining table, etc. but supervision is also key. Where was the provider when this happened?

I would probably pay for it and find other care, citing lack of supervision and safe environment, ie the lamp in a daycare used bathroom.

Best of luck.

A glass lamp in a bathroom that daycare children use? How strange. No, you shouldn't be responsible but since your kids have been there their entire lives, go ahead and pay to keep the peace.

Since she works from her home, it's her responsibility to have her home child proofed. You pay her to watch your child while you are away. Now, if you were there visiting her and your child broke it under your watch while visiting, then I would say you are responsible because you were there in her house and you should have been watching your kid. Otherwise, honestly, I don't believe you should have to pay. It's her fault. She should have put the lamp up and out of the way of little people.

I don't have any experience with in-home daycares, but no, I wouldn't think you would have to pay for this! She should know better than to have breakables within reach of the children she is caring for.

I never had to pay for any toys or anything that my child might have broken at her daycare... Of course they expect these things from children and the environment is completely child-friendly.

No it is a ligit business expense.

I would pay b/c I believe that if my child breaks someones property it isn't the other persons fault, it is my child's fault...regardless of surroundings.

Then I would leave and find a new caregiver, if I were in your shoes!

~The comment that she made about your son being 'determined to break something of hers for some time now' would be cause for concern for me and I would be worried that the 2 of them are butting heads. That would make me feel less than comfortable knowing she has him in her care for so much of his day...

You mention that she is licensed to run a daycare, but is she technically licensed to run one in her home? This may be why she isn't able to write off the expense. At any rate, the bigger concern is safety and the comment about your son, in my book. If you intend to keep your kids there, then you're going to need to pay it, whether or not you should, to maintain good will. But I'd consider whether you have other options from here foreword.