Should I Pay?

You say "Its already hard enough to take care of the kids because my husband works and I go to school full-time, so there's only one income in our house." My question to you is why haven't you pressed to make sure you are getting child support? If he is that concerned about his children then he should be paying child support. I imagine if your agreement specifies visitation, it also specifies child support. Most courts allow you to come in without an attorney by filing a Modification Order which would allow you to adjust child support AND visitation to meet your current circumstances. If he lives out of state, the courts will take that into consideration and will define who pays for what. They can also arrange for his paycheck to be garnished for back support. This isn't "money grubbing" on your part or selfish in any way. This is the bare minimum of what the father should be doing for his children. If you let the courts define it then it isn't just you against him. Its an impartial party setting down guidelines in the best interest of the children.

As for sending your 4 year old and 7 year old on a flight unaccompanied, most airlines will not allow an unaccompanied minor under the age of 5 to travel period. So, depending on when your son will turn 5, they can't fly this way anyway. Normally, if he were paying his child support throughout the year the court would say that the father should pay for half of the cost of you bringing them. Since he's not paying, then its not a black and white issue.

This isn't an issue of you not letting him see his kids because he's not paying child support, this is an issue of you not paying for the SAFE transportation of your shared children. I don't think you should have to pay for that. I do think he should have to pay child support. Its not for you, its to enrich the lives of your children. So many women are made to feel bad because they seek the fair amount of support to help raise their kids!

http://www.dss.mo.gov/cse/

I don't think you are being unreasonable. This year I think I'd tell him if he doesn't come to get them they aren't going. Put it in his court.

Suzi

He needs to be responsible for the expenses it takes to have visition with his children. If it continues to be problem you could have the court to modify your divorce/custody decree to specify expenses for visition.

I think you are being perfectly reasonable. If he wants to see them that bad then he will make the arrangements. I could understand if a month in advance work schedule were hard to work out but as you said, they could at least pay for the service. I would give him a couple of months warning and let him know that you can not afford to accompany the kids and that if he wants to see them, he will have to figure out some other arrangement. It is not your fault that he lives hundreds of miles away and you are not being a bad mom by sticking up for yourself in this situation.

1. I agree that you should try talking about it first. Let them know you aren't comfortable putting them on a plane themselves unless the service to have them watched over is paid for. Also tell them it is impossible for you to pay due to your finances (doesn't matter whether you can or not). If he is not okay with this, talk to the court. In actuality you are very lucky because many people are forced to pay for 1/2 the distance and he is at least paying a round trip ticket.
2. You can not deny him visitation priviledges even if he doesn't pay child support. It isn't legal. You have to go through your SRS agent to get his payment and trust me, the court can order his paycheck to be garnished in order for youi to get it. My husband didn't have it ordered that way, he initially set it up that way so he didn't have to worry about sending a check and getting to her on time. This agent can also help you out with the visitation.

So, yes, stick up for yourself, but remember, you can not deny him those rights to visit his children. You could lose your right to have legal custody of the kids due to failure to follow a court order.

Does your divorce decree/parenting plan stipulate who is responsible for these expenses? I would be concerned that if he can't get the time off to come get your children, how is he finding time to spend with them while they're there? Check your decree/parenting plan, and if it doesn't specify, have it modified.