My 4.5 yr old son has been using pullups at night. About 3-4x a week his pullup was basically dry, so I started talking to him about how "someday he'll wear underpants to bed." I wasn't pushing him to get rid of the pullup, just planting the idea that some day he will stop. I bought him some Transformer boxer briefs last week and 3 nights ago he said "I want to wear underpants at night." I figured we'd give it a try. First night went well. Dry all night; he peed when he woke up at his regular time. My guess is this is just a habit from wearing the pullups, so I thought, "Hey, we're on the right track." Last night, he peed in the middle of the night. I changed his sheets, comforted him, he didn't seem traumatized. Today we were playing outside after daycare and he peed in his pants (he hasn't done that in I don't know how long) and at bedtime he said he wanted his pullup back. I talked him in to trying underpants one more night. Then I got on this forum and searched the question database and found a bunch of similar questions where Mama's basically said "Let him wear pullups until his body is more mature." We had a really hard time with daytime potty training, went cold turkey when he said he wanted to, had 1 bad week and he's been pretty accident free ever since. So I had it in my head that it would take 1 week of nighttime accidents before he figured it out. Now I feel like maybe I'm traumatizing him and should just let him enjoy his pullups a while longer.
Thanks so much for your responses already (less than 1 hr after I posted the question). If he wants to go back to pullups tomorrow night, we'll let him. I definitely didn't shame him when he wet the bed; in fact he barely remembers it. But I'll let his little body guide us for timing. I suspect his suggestion to wear underpants at night has more to do with his delight at his new Transformer Boxer Briefs than really wanting to abandon his pullup. :-)
I don't think you are traumatizing him, but you are probably fighting a losing battle with this. He's not peeing in the middle of the night because he wants to, he's not physiologically ready to make it all night, every night.
It's not something you can push or train, he'll be ready when he's ready. Don't worry about it and let him wear the Pull-ups.
daytime training is different than nighttiem training.. you can help push him toward daytime training.. but wehn he is sleeping he is sleeping.
I have one child who is dry at age 3.. another child still wet at age 6--every night.
NO, do not push him.
Night time dryness, is a physiological, development.
And it occurs, up until 7 years old. To develop that physiological maturity of the organs.
You cannot train, for night time.
It is completely different, than daytime pottying.
Put it this way: ALL of my daughter's Teachers, from preschool to Kindergarten to 1st grade, ALL said, that kids these ages wear diapers at night, it is normal, and it has to do with their body's development. AND kids these ages, DO have pee accidents, day or night... and even at school. And this is normal. Teachers do not flinch about it. Nor make the child feel bad about it.
Even the health room at my kids' school... they have TONS of extra underwear and clothing, for kids to change into, if they pee or have an accident.
Of which, you cannot change or speed up, physiological development.
Just get a few waterproof bed pads, to put under him at night.
I got mine from Amazon. I have 4 of them and just rotate them as needed. The sheets do not get soiled that way.
My son is 5, and still wet at night. He wears Huggies night time diapers.
AND I sometimes have to change it, during the night. Because it gets soaked.
My daughter, even at 7 years old, had pee accidents. Normal.
Pull-ups are useless at night... because it leaks and is not meant to hold a lot of pee. It is for daytime. Unless you get the nighttime version.
When my kids ask, when they will wear underwear at night... I simply explained to them, that their BODY... is not ready yet. And it is okay and normal. When their body grows up, then they will know and then only underwear can be worn. It has never been a problem with my kids.
My daughter, even had a dream that she was on the toilet... until she felt herself wet. She had peed in her sleep. She didn't do it on purpose. We laughed about it. Changed her jammies. Changed the bedpad, and she went back to sleep.
There's no such thing as night potty training. He'll be dry & stay dry when his body is developed enough to achieve it. Not a day sooner.
Personally, I wouldn't understand not making it as easy and the least stressful as possible--and that probably involves pull ups. No biggie.
No, don't punish him. I have heard that for a huge percentage of boys they just are not physically ready to hold it at night yet until they are older. My son stopped wetting the bed in Kindergarten (age 5-6) and I hear that is normal. We just had him wear underwear (he had a waterproof covering on his bed, under his sheets) and did a lot of laundry. He did not have an accident every night, but a lot of them. Maybe you can let your son wear pullups but give him a date he starts wearing underwear (age 5). Still expect him to have accidents. Maybe you can reward him if he keeps his pullup dry all night.
i would let him have more say so. if he wants a pullup i'd definitely let him have it - if he wants it it's probably because he's feeling insecure and unsure whether he can stay dry. insisting he wears underwear might be putting undue pressure on him.
my son is 5 1/2 and i thought he'd never stay dry at night - i'm still not sure we're there ;) but just recently, for about the third time, i brought it up again, just like you did, and this time instead of having him go straight to underwear, we kept the pullups, and did a sticker chart. when it's full he earns a trip to chuck-e-cheese. i don't think it's the reward that's doing it - i think it's that he's finally ready. because he has been dry 99% of the time the last couple weeks. i think only 1 or two accidents that whole time. SO i think we are ready - the last accident was like a week or more ago. but i haven't mentioned him wearing undies to bed, and he hasn't either. i think he's just "ready".
now, he's got his last pullup on tonight, so we'll see what happens next lol..but that's where we're at! good luck to both of us! :)
*while i don't think that daytime training is the same as nighttime training, i will say this - there is nothing wrong with putting it in his head that he needs to try to stay dry. i do think that eventually, that feeling of having to "go" WILL wake them up. maybe after enough nights of being dry, it feels "wrong", so it wakes them up. maybe they just recognize the feeling even THROUGH their sleeping. i do think it is MOSTLY physiological...but i also think it is some small part mental as well. making it "ok" to wet the bed, i don't really think is the answer...but i wouldn't guilt trip him or make him feel bad about it either. i usually take a "aw, that's okay, i'm sorry you had an accident - you will do better next time" approach. not making it okay, but not blaming them either.
He is on the verge. If you focus on this and keep trying to do the underwear you will set him back months if not years. He needs to keep the pull ups and when he is dry for several weeks every morning, no mistakes then try the conversation again about using underwear during the night. He may still want the pull up but he will gain confidence.
Many times boys take longer to night train..... my grandson, however, was dry pretty much every morning, so my daughter quit buying pull-ups. He is dry at night now, too. She has been real lucky with him, though.
The difference between day and night is that he's awake and aware during the day, so he can figure that out. At night he's unconscious and dreaming or deeply asleep, and there's no chance of figuring anything out consciously while asleep. I have been trying for my whole adult life, and I can only very rarely wake myself for any purpose.
If my bladder sends me a strong enough signal, it does wake me, but I'm pretty sure that didn't happen until that signal and my sphincter were both strong enough. But what really helps kids to stay dry at night is the release of a hormone that slows urine production during sleep. This maturation happens around the age of 2 in some children, but for many others it doesn't kick in until they're well into their school years.
This is not a choice these kids make. They would gladly choose to sleep dry if they could. It's almost never their choice to sleep through an urge to pee, or to urinate while asleep.
I think you were on the right track when you suggested to your son that someday he'd stay dry. Since he's dry some nights, he's possibly well on his way, but obviously not there yet. No amount of encouragement will help him wake if he needs to pee during the night. But sometime, probably soon, he'll be producing less pee AND sleeping all night. Usually two dry weeks is considered success for night dryness, although it's VERY common for an occasional accident to occur over the next few years.
I would.
Maybe he can wear the briefs over the pullups??
You are SOOO right - please don't push him. Night Time potty training is different than day time potty training. Every BODY is different.
So please don't push him. Don't put an alarm on him or any of the other things that people have tried.
My sister was 12 when she finally stopped wetting the bed.
My friend's son will be 11 this May and he still wears pull ups but his 6 year old brother doesn't.
My son was potty trained - day and night in one week - he was ready. It took me almost 3 months to potty train my youngest son. And he wasn't night trained until almost 5.
My daughter was night trained before day time. See how every BODY is different? She could wake up dry and have accidents during the day.
It's not his choice in any way. At that age, most kids are not physically capable of staying dry all night. You really do have to wait until his body matures and is capable of either not producing urine at night or waking up to pee.
My kids are like Lisa O's. When my 5 1/2 year old potty trained, he stopped wearing diapers and pull-ups and has only had a handful of accidents. My 3 year old is beginning to use the potty (I teach, so we'll go to underwear when my semester ends). But he wakes up soaking wet every morning. He's just a physically different kid. We'll probably be using regular diapers or Huggies Slip-On's because I already know he'll soak through a pull-ups half way through the night and I'll be changing sheets in the middle of the night. No thank you!!! I'll just buy the right diapers and wait until he's ready.
I would say NEVER wear pullups. If he's just going to pee in them, keep him diapered at night. That'll hold more liquid. If he's peeing first thing in the morning on purpose out of habit, a few nights in cloth diapers might cure him of it. The fact is you cannot pressure a child into staying dry thru the night. You can't "train" them to do it. It is a matter of their bladder growing enough to be able to hold urine through the night.
