Should I Put My 8 Week Old on a Schedual?

J.,

When my second son was born, I felt terribly guilty about the amount of time I was breastfeeding and the lack of time spent with my older one (they are 4 years apart). The lactation specialist told me that having a sibling and sharing mom was part of being a family. Well, my older son spent MANY days entertaining himself by watching tv and playing with his toys. I felt awful!

Now, though, I feel better about everything because there is so much compromise and sharing that happens in a family. I also know that breastfeeding isn't forever and that there were special times that my older son and I spent when his new brother was born. It was simple things like reading a book together, taking a walk without the baby, visiting the local Walgreens to buy some ice cream. All these things took less than 15 minutes. So, it'a about the quality of time that we give each other.

Best of luck,
F.

I havent seen anyone mention a few things...
1) your baby could be going through a growth-spurt and if thats the case he will feed more frequently. one b/c he needs the food & two to trigger your milk supply to increase to accomadate him in the future. Your breasts will probably be soft & feel empty during these periods but your body always produces milk and the sucking action alone triggers milk production. If he is gaining weight normally then he's getting plenty of food
2) he may just need the soothing, he is ONLY 8 weeks old and trying to adjust to being out of the woom.
Have you tried nursing him in a sling so you can be more mobile?
3) a nursing baby will ALWAYS get more milk out of a breast than any pump can do, even the best pumps out there are not as efficient as an infant feeding on the breast. try pumping with him near you if he will let you, mentally it may trigger more milk
4) I strongly suggest you consider the situation if you were nursing your first born, would you still choose to put him on a schedule? and if not, why would you consider it now? I understand your daughter needs attention as well but that doesnt mean your son should suffer only because he cant speak up like the 4 yr old can. Have you tried getting her involved in taking care of the baby?
As you can probably assess I am 100% about attachment parenting and totally opposed to putting my infant on a schedule but if it works for you & your family then great. But I do think its important for the whole family to feel the same about baby scheduling because it is not an easy thing to do by any means. I have several friends who swear by the scheduling method but not one of them will tell you it was easy or non-stressful.

Hi J.,
First of all i know exactly how you are feeling. I had a problem with producing enough milk for my daughter. I was either trying to breastfeed or pump...nothing else. I too became overwhelmed with how much time i spent. At about a 8 weeks i began to supplement 1/2(breast milk)-n-1/2(formula). Then eventually i switched completely to formula about four weeks later. Let me tell you it was wonderful. she slept for 5 or 6 hour spans. And I got time to spend with my older child. And yes it was hard to let go of the exclusively breastfeeding, but i realized that i would rather not miss all of the wonderful things that are learned in the first year, than say yes i breastfed for X-amount of months.
Oh yes, and soon enough he will put himself on his own schedule. hahaha i remember trying with my daughter, she wasn't having anything to do with it. I think it happened around 3 months, but all babies are different :D
good luck to you, hope this helps :D

Hi J.: You sound worn out and weary! I've had 5 children and I never ascribed to the "feed on demand" theory after the baby was a couple of weeks. In the beginning, your breasts and your baby needs lots of breastfeeding, but around 4-5 weeks (I actually started earlier) you can begin to stretch them out 2-3 hours, or longer. I wouldn't suggest going longer than 3 - 3 1/2 hours with an 8 week old. The goal is to get a good quality feeding at each nursing so that he can go a couple of hours. You also need to give your breasts time to replenish their supply. Being worn down and tired from all the nursing can actually deplete your supply because you're exhausted and stressed over the situation. I would see if you can consult another lactation consultant and talk to your doctor again. Have your baby weighed and if his weight gain has been good, then consider stretching his feedings by every 15 minutes for a couple of days so that you're feeding him every 2 1/2-3 hours from the beginning of one feed to the beginning of the next feed. After doing that for about a week, take him in for another weight check and if his weight gain is good and he has plenty of wet diapers, then continue with a 3-hour schedule. God bless you!

hi J., when your husband is homr let him feed him, so you can spend that time with your daughter, te problem with only breasdt feeding, is you are the only one that can feed the baby, I bottld/formula fed my babies, so my husband was able to share everything with me in caring for our babies, and other children. J.

J., after reading so many people's advice on here in the last few months, I finally picked up "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" and "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers" and I wish I had known about those books when my son was your baby's age. She has the greatest advice about how to put your baby on a schedule and is against on-demand feeding because of the following reasons:

1. Your baby isn't hungry every hour... there is probably something else going on like he has gas or is tired. The author spells out how to read the different cries and body signals babies give for different symptoms.

2. If your baby feeds "on demand" which is popular these days, your body isn't given enough time to replenish the milk properly and he is probably mostly only getting the fore milk and not the hind milk. The fore milk has more sugar and can upset the tummy more (causing more crying), and the hind milk keeps the baby fuller longer. Also, try one breast at a time if you're not already doing that just to make sure he is getting the hind milk at each feeding.

3. On demand feeding can interrupt his sleep patterns because you could be mistaking his tired cries for hungry cries, and if the baby starts falling asleep at your breast, that can become a bad habit that's hard to break.

I won't get into it any further, but believe me, of all the books I've read, hers by far makes the most sense now that I've been through it all. I can't recommend it enough.

I've had two, they are now 3 & 5, both were fed on demand and both ate very often like yours. I don't think it is a matter of not producing enough milk. Some breastfeeding Mom's don't get much when they try to pump, I could never get more than an oz from both at one time! Your baby will suck more efficiently than a pump. Your baby is still so new and the supply/demand part is still being worked on. Be patient, read to your 4 year old while nursing, set her up with crayons/paper before nursing, maybe pop in a video every now and then, there are lots of things she can do while you are nursing and it does get easier on you - you'll be walking around and doing stuff while nursing in no time at all. Do you have a baby carrier? I know it takes some time to perfect, but keeping baby in a sling can ease some of your stress, that way when your little guy is hungry, you can just put him to your breast. Also if you have a park nearby, maybe plan a visit there daily, every morning or every afternoon, your 4yo can play while you walk around with your baby or relax on a bench. Have a friend and her child meet you. Set up playdates at your home to help entertain. I recall with both of mine, me not being efficient at the whole breastfeeding thing until 9-10 weeks or so. It sounds like you are doing a great job.
M.

J.,

My daughter is 16 months old and I nursed her frequently until 14 months. I was exhausted and I also have a 3 year old son. Once I weaned my daughter she was less clingy. I was exhuaseted from not sleeping and being up at night. I had to let my daughter cry it out at night for about 3 nights in order for her to sleep through the night. She was eating solid food during the day and nursing at least every 2 hours and there was no way she should be hungry at night. She just wanted to be comforted in the middle of the night and she was so used to me running in her room to nurse her. You can either try feeding your son a snack before bedtime or possibly try letting him cry it out. During the day I would suggest giving him a snack too in between nursing sessions to keep him busy. Or you can try distracting him with toys. I wish yo lots of luck!

L.

i found that nursing my baby while she was in a sling or carrier allowed me to have my hands free to tend to my older children or cooking even.

Dianne Wiessinger has an interesting perspective of what normal breastfeeding should be like. You can read about it here. http://normalfed.com/Starting/normal.html

good luck, hope this information didn't reach you too late.

Stress can have in impact on your milk production. Feeding a baby every hour AND taking care of a four year old are very stressful! Scheduling can be very helpful, if it's not one more thing to stress you out. I had both of my babies on a schedule from birth and it was perfect for us, but not everyone is that way. If you do want a schedule, you have to be very flexible and expect gradual changes and variations as your baby grows and changes so much in the first several months. An 8 week old baby should be able to go at least 3 hours between the start of each feeding, but I'm not sure how to get your baby to that if he is used to nursing every hour. If he is nursing that frequently, even if you have an abundant milk supply, he probably is not taking much at each feeding. So it's more like a "snack" for him, and that small amount of food digests quickly, and he's hungry again soon. Or maybe he is using you as a pacifier. You can try other things to soothe him to stretch out his feedings. If he goes a little longer between feedings, he may take in more and then be able to last longer. You may be able to gradually stretch out his feedings, little by little.
If you sense you have a problem with milk supply, you may want to supplement with pumped milk or formula and see how that goes. If you haven't already tried this, Fenugreek capsules (you can get them at a health food store near the vitamins, etc.) are good for helping milk production. With that, and a little break between feedings, you may be able to get your milk production up to where it needs to be and no longer need to supplement.